A Cookie Recipe? Part 2

Hey Baldy,

This is the way that Cookie crumbles.

Today I’ll be tackling the other part of the tard equation of why: the rationalizations. The many excuses fraus make for tarding over you at warp speed. I will be brief as I have art to do and animals to feed.

‘But he owes me because I watched him and voted for him all that season!’ – Baldy, it’s nice to have supporters, but fans are not folks that think that they own you. Voting for someone on a reality show does not give one carte blanche to behave worst than Sanjaya’s Crying Girl. She’s 12, what’s their excuse?

‘But it’s a harmless hobby attending his concerts’ – No, harmless hobbies are things like knitting or scrap booking (ugh!). Music can be a harmless hobby, listening to it, attending concerts, et al. When they take it to the scary level of attending every concert you perform, buy multiple, multiple, multiple copies of your cds. Acting entitled at the concert, pushing, shoving and running over others to get to the front row is so over the top.

‘I know if I just meet him he’ll fall madly in love with me.’ – This frau belief is the one that makes me guffaw the hardest. It shows that none of them have any real ideas about the realities of performing and living on the road. Touring involves getting to the gig, getting through the gig, eating, traveling and sleeping, nothing else. Actually, that’s not strictly true. Sometimes there are those fleeting sexual encounters with the age appropriate opposite sex that mean very little beyond getting ones rocks off. There’s sure not time or inclination for true love on the road. Only in Harlequin romance novels. You and I know this, but it hasn’t trickled down to your fan base yet.

‘He’s sending me messages through his music!’ – If you ever encounter fans that have posted this somewhere online or uttered it to your face you should run! Charles Manson said the same thing about the Beatles ‘White Album’ and look how that worked out for him.

There are more excuses I could post but real life is a calling.

Stay safe and well Baldy.

Add any excuses to the comments and I’ll continue tomorrow when I have more time.

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2 Comments on “A Cookie Recipe? Part 2”

  1. Radio Birdman Says:

    So true, all of it.

    I remember when we toured NSW and QLD last year. The east coast of Australia has some of the hottest women in the world and a higher proportion of hot to ugly women than anywhere I’ve ever been. My single bandmates’ eyeballs were popping out everywhere. But it would be impossible to even score weekly, forget about every night. Post gig, if you’ve gone hard, all you want to do is get a beer and fall asleep.

    Tards – If Cook has put on a good show (and when I saw him live he showed he could) then he’s probably not even interested in fucking hot blonde Hooters waitresses, let alone fat bitches.

    The 80s bands that became legendary for backstage fucking with groupies probably didn’t go hard enough on stage anyway. Even the debauchery train that was Led Zeppelin, to my knowledge, saved the crazy stuff for before shows and in between, not so much after.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      To this day when I perform my body starts screaming at me ‘Go Lay Down! NOW!’ once I leave the stage. No partying, no foolish sexual adventuring, de nada. I think that’s more normal than rushing out to drink and boff if you’re given it your all.

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