Fake Rivals Or The Real Thing?

Dear Baldy,

I love that the tabloids and gutter press try to start feuds and rivalries that do not exist.  Right now The Hollywood Gossip is trying to make it seem like you and Adam Lambert were having a fashion pose off on the red carpet. Doesn’t look like a fashion shoot out to me. Hell, neither of you look like you’re even remotely interested in the idea in the first place. Adam was not in his usual sparkling alien get up: he’s dressed in a relatively restrained Johnny Cash cum Liberace all black. At first glance I liked your casual outfit till I started noticing that those colors were doing you no favors plus you look pale, greasy and hairy chested. Add a stylist to more security please.

I’m sure your fans and Adam’s fans are going to have a slappy bitch-fight on various websites and boards. It should be amusing even if neither of you are exactly brimming with sartorial splendor.  Did you see Adam’s CD cover?

Another word of advice, that hair, you have to start washing it, or find a different shampoo or something. It looks so greasy those sideways bangs all of the time. You might want to go with a good organic shampoo. All that chemical laden crap isn’t helping with the hair loss.

ETA: Photos for Ghausia

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10 Comments on “Fake Rivals Or The Real Thing?”

  1. Smartie Says:

    Madam looked like his suit was a size too small for his gut.

  2. Radio Birdman Says:

    Come on, greasy hair is OK. Cook’s just naturally fug. Maybe that’s why he and Neal are BFFs – they make each other look better by comparison.

  3. Ghausia Says:

    ohhh gimnme details and pics!

  4. Smartie Says:

    Someone needs to hose Baldy off, he looks like Crisco is dripping from his eighthead.

    • dukie Says:

      Baldy, the long bangs just don’t work for you. Get a stylist (for your hair and your wardrobe). You can afford one now.

  5. Radio Birdman Says:

    He probably thinks he looks great. I know I’m the only person on Earth who thinks bandannas and basketball jerseys are OK on anyone but gangstas.

  6. freedavidcook Says:

    Looks like he has been combing his bangs with bacon, delicious delicious bacon.. *drroooooling for bacon*

  7. Smartie Says:

    Hey is he wearing Constantine’s greasy scarf? Sure looks like the one he wears everywhere because he’s too cheap to buy anything new.

  8. Radio Birdman Says:

    Oh God. He’s going from Wannabe Rocker to Fake 80s Rocker. The lowest you can go.

    • Ghausia Says:

      I like the scarf! Like it on Adam, like it on Cook, I think I saw Gerard Way with a scarf somewhere…I just don’t like it on the cheap lowlife guys in my uni that wouldn’t know fashion if it bit them in the ass. I’m sorry, I’m a girly girl, I’m the fucking fashion police damnit! I refuse to let those losers walk around with ugly scarves!

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