Twitter Twats

Dear David,

So I understand you may have had a problem this weekend with the twats on your twitter account. Someone posted in comments that one of your tards, like Pizza Screaming Tard, twitter-spammed you while you were at a concert. Some nonsense about her wanting you and your brother to come stand by her. Later she claims you screwed up her night because her car got broken into.

Good thing you didn’t stand next to Pizza Screamer because you would have had that obnoxious screamer screaming in your ear all night long, drowning out the music, distracting you, getting all handsy with your ass and parts south.

Block the bitch. It’s not hard. Go to her profile and hit ‘block’ She’ll be pissed off but you’ll be spared the sight of her constant drivel. She’s tweeted you so much I’m surprised she doesn’t have carpal tunnel by now.

I also understand that because you tweeted that you were going to see ‘Our Lady Peace’ at some time in the past that the concert front row was filled with your idiot stalkers. I can just imagine the sea of lesbian librarian hairdos, blubbery torsos and ill fitting denim and capris that the guys of OLP had to look out on. I’m sure they were most puzzled by all the old ladies there looking most unrock and roll, like some nightmare landscape of the damned. How did it feel to look down and see them yet again when you joined the band for a song?  Sort of like Homer Simpson when he was dragging around The Stone of Shame during the Stonecutters episode? D’oh!

Never tell them in advance what you’re planning on doing. Tweet about it either after the fact or as it’s going on. It’s either that or you’re going to have to obtain a clever disguise to be incognito.

Real fans do not pull that kind of crap. Stalkers do.

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10 Comments on “Twitter Twats”

  1. Ghausia Says:

    I am SO twatting him this link.

  2. on the edge Says:

    Hey now…my sister’s a lesbian librarian and she wouldn’t be caught dead at a David Cook show! Well, not voluntarily, anyway (I’m told that for putting her through it I owe her my soul, or first born, or something).

  3. nonna-muss Says:

    Yay Teevho! I’m so glad you did an open letter to Cook about this! And in his defense, Cook didn’t twat it. His brother announced it on his radio show. Cook’s pretty good about not revealing his coordinates. He needs to teach baby bro to keep his trap shut too. And he should block all the bitches that spam him. There are many besides Pizza Screamer Bush Pig.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      Spam twats actually suck. He needs to block anyone that gets ridiculous with it and threaten his baby bro with a walloping if he twats plans in the future. I thought he’d twittered about it.

      On The Edge, Oooops sorry! Perhaps I should have phrased it “hair like my 400 pound next door neighbor lesbian librarian with man hair.”

  4. mustang Says:

    I posted this on the other thread, but this time it wasn’t the Pizza screamer, but another equally dangerous pair of twits who actually live in KC. They’re equally as bad as Pizza Screamer…

  5. Radio Birdman Says:

    If I see Pizza Screamer Lady anywhere, I will personally give her a beatdown for Raine, Jeremy and the other two guys in OLP who’s names I do not remember because I just woke up.

  6. StopHurtsEars Says:

    Great blog post. The twat spammers are so annoying. The inane, stupid, creepy crap they twat him would make me tear my hair out. And Baldy does not have any hair to loose.

  7. mustang Says:

    It wasn’t Pizza Screamer Daina at the OLP concert. It was 2 who live in KC.

  8. Radio Birdman Says:

    I’ll give Pizza Screamer a beat down anyway. Only just for me.

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