Google Questions Part 3

Dear Baldy,

So another recurring theme in the google searches coming on into here is one that makes me sorta frightened – “david cook adam lambert fanfic” – Yep, that’s right, someone or a whole lotta somebodys are looking for what I suspect would be slash fan fiction involving you and Adam Lambert. I am officially skeeved out at the very idea.
If you meet the fan fiction crew you should run from them. Do you know what they write about you doing?  Apparently all sorts of creepy and wrong things, like you raping and killing women. I have been told this is a big favorite at the site that used to be named “Illusions of Cook” Other fan fic pairings put you in slash situations, i.e. sex with other males, with others from the “American Idol” world. Now they are searching for slash involving you and Adam. Being that Adam is openly gay slash at least is his correct sexuality. But not yours.

I just have never gotten the need for fan fiction writers to put obviously straight males into homosexual situations and sexual trysts. Most everyone’s sexuality is set in stone at an early age.

Plus most of what I’ve read is just so totally and utterly physiologically impossible, like five trillion orgasms in one night or sexual positions that cannot happen. Not to mention that old slash favorite of laying on top of each other and rubbing dicks together. It’s pretty obvious that most slash and het fiction writers have never actually had sex themselves or watched much porn.

But the most disturbing aspect is that they aren’t writing about fictional characters from a television show or a movie. They are writing about REAL PEOPLE. That’s where it crosses the line from a harmless hobby into something disgusting and disrespectful.

Run, very fast, when someone tells you they write fan fic about you. They even write it about Andy Skib and Neil Tiemann screwing each other. Ugh.

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3 Comments on “Google Questions Part 3”

  1. Ghausia Says:

    Meh. I’m immune to it all by now. hey you didn’t give actual links to fanfic! Bitch! 😛

  2. girl from mars Says:

    HAHAHA seriously? Lying down and rubbing dicks together? How romantical and sexeh.

  3. Smartie Says:

    Illusions Of Cook is where they write stories about Baldy raping and killing frau.

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