Google Questions #5

Dear Baldy,

Usually there’s an imaginative  search parameter or two daily among your fans two-stepping into here from Google but lately it’s been repeats involving tattoos, jews, and L Anne Carrington searching for herself. Yawn.

Two of the most repeated searches from yesterday make me laugh for totally different reasons. Both involve obsessional women.

“smartie “l’anne carrington” ebook” – L Anne, L Anne, L Anne. She’s quaking in her boots trying to find out if Idletard’s Smartie actually is compiling an Ebook of her adventures.  I feel the rumblings up over the Alleghenies and the Blue Ridge right now and smell her arid sweat. Never fear, Smartie is doing just that and David I’d recommend you get a copy as soon as it comes out. You’ve stated you like to read and it’s going to be a fascinating study into mental illness, plagiarism and crime.  I promise you’ll laugh, cry, throw up and gasp before coming back for another plate of crazy.

Personally I think they should build L Anne her own special wing at the Trans Allegheny Lunatic Asylum. She can keep company with the spooks and haints and leave the rest of us alone. It’s just south of her home in the burbs of Pittsburgh.

“David Cook Uncensored” – I’ve never visited this site run by Mary Ann/Holly containing various sockpuppets of Holly pretending to be other people yet only cheering Holly on and I don’t plan on it. I don’t even have the addy but I do understand that there’s one heck of a battle going on right now over that mysterious tattoo of yours. Apparently you getting a tattoo is turning off Mary Ann/Holly to the point where she’s almost ready to toss you on the Idol scrapheap of former lust objects along with Clay Aiken and Constantine.  Fickle fans. Mary Ann – Holly needs to join L Anne at the TALA.

The question that most springs to mind on these two is why Pennsylvania? Why the high percentage of completely wacko obsessed fans in the Keystone state? Is it something in the water?  I know my most insane clients at work come out of the Philly area and seem like they could be characters on “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia”. Something must be seriously wrong with that part of the world

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12 Comments on “Google Questions #5”

  1. ADSAREFUN Says:

    PLEASE GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT. HOLLY IS NOT MARYANN. SOMEONE IS PLAYING GAMES WITH YOU.

    • Smartie Says:

      You mean MaryAnn Ellis, the Clay and Constantine fan? Yup, that’s her. 🙂

      And, funnily enough, she and L Anne were BFFs when they were tarding for Constantine. How ironic. Two MPDs hanging out together. She liked using sock puppets, Jojo, Ad Exec and many other familiar names and fake avatars back then too. She doesn’t change her habits.

      When she was a Claymate, she posted a long racist tirade aimed at Kim Locke when it was rumoured she and Clay were romantically entangled.

      MaryAnn Ellis is a charmer. And she IS Holly.

  2. Smartie Says:

    I’m still debating whether or not to use a photo of a huge vagina on the cover, like L Ard has for her WWE copyright stealing book The Cruiserweight.

  3. anonymous Says:

    This is the funniest shit I have ever read. I seriously had V8 Splash (mixed with a little Sailor Jerry Rum) just spray out of my nose. Although I completely support David (his music career) and have for a very long time, a few of these words could be taken to be a bit harsh, but I think it is fantastic someone is saying it. Kudos, fucking kudos!

  4. anonymous Says:

    Oh and just to add: That MaryAnn/Holly is fucking batshit crazy. Wasn’t around for the L’anne shenanigans. You are correct, a loony bin would be just perfect for her and all of her stupid ass sockpuppets.

  5. KarmaPolice Says:

    What about MaryAnn Ellis’ sister, JoAnn Dobson? You know… bernyj, adexec, jojo, modjo, savannah, etc…
    For a word these 2 public figures use at least twice in every sentence, do they even know the definition of CLASSY? Because it sure isn’t what they’ve been doing.

  6. nonna-muss Says:

    Another beautiful letter Free David Cook! It brought a tear to my eye. Mary Anne is running in circles over there now trying to cover her ass (using sockpuppets of course). It got crazy enough over there today that she actually locked her pride and joy, the Girlfriend thread. It’s my understanding that she deleted posts too. But wait, how could that be? I thought the board was uncensored. Oh, I guess it’s OK to talk about everyone else EXCEPT Mary Anne. Rumor has it someone posted a link to this very site and story. By the time I got there the post with the link was deleted.

    • Smartie Says:

      Such a shame.

      Hopefully those lurking here like these 🙂

      This is MaryAnn:

      Looks a little different to her avatars, right? 😀

      This is her resume:

      See? A PA. Not a lawyer or PHD or whatever other ridiculous qualifications she likes to claim she has!

      She lives in Yardley, PA. With that poor dog.


  7. […] This is more of a public service announcement than anything else. Perhaps you’ve been over to the uh, colorful David Cook Uncensored board. I once had access, but then I was banned. Boo hoo. Yeah…I lurk on some boards, especially when I’m “invited”. Eh, why not? […]

  8. TopIdol Says:

    Holly Sockpuppets is having a no-good very bad day. 🙂


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