The big fun of Google keyword searches is the random and bizarre nature of them. Over ten years ago I used to have a blog where some freak kept booging in on the search term “Used sanitary napkin fetish” and it took me awhile to figure out the why. Example. This is close to what I wrote with the searched words highlighted.
I discovered I’d used up all my paper supplies before the big party, so I had to scramble around at the last second. The only party store in town always seemed so dowdy, dusty and not very sanitary that I was reluctant to purchase anything for so important a social gathering as this. But I found a box of nice paper napkin sets in the back of the china cabinet at home. And as the days passed leading up to the party I developed almost a cleanliness fetish in a futile attempt to keep our drawing room immaculate.
So any old super crazy term can be searched for in an oh so innocent posting. But my dark sense of humor always chortles and giggles over them. This weeks crop from this blog.
‘Tranny Mary Ann Ellis Holly” – of all the search terms I’ve seen on this blog this one makes me laugh the hardest! Mary Ann does look a little manly in some photos even if I cannot detect the presence of a shaved down Adams Apple.
‘Neal Tiemann krunk” – Neal seems to have slowed down on his boozy tweets but you never know. Look for him the liver transplant ward near you soon.
‘They are crazy bad bitches” – One mans crazy bitch is another mans love goddess. Unless they have crazy eyes.
“Man on the run David Cook” – Well Baldy, you’ve run on the Cancer fundraiser run. I witnessed you with my own two eyes running down the stairs at Urban Outfitters and I have a feeling you’ve had to run to escape your fans. Outrunning blubbery frau should be easy for you now.
“Porno Horse” – Enough with the bestiality! Ugh! When I think of horses I want to think about “My Friend Flicka” or “Black Beauty” not “Nasty Hos Drilled By Horse Dick”
“Harpies Disease” – I think some folks call this ‘The Marriage Disease” and can run both ways, Nag-ee and Nag-er can be either sex. Unless is refers to the nekkid serenading chicks on the rocks in ‘The Iliad”
“Porny To” – No idea
“American Idol OCD” – Is that when you insist everyone shut the hell up around you, not breath, think or bother you when AI is on? Or that time when you grasp your cell phone like it’s your only lifeline and dial again and again voting for your choice, like some rat in a science experiment hitting the feeder bar for another crack rock until it passes out?
“Frau Madam Porn” – Hell to the NAW!! For the last time. Madam is gay. Madam is openly gay. Gay men do not boff old fat women regardless of the circumstances or the horny.
‘Teen Pusi wit black Cook Cock free porno” – Porn search for the super illiterate? If you’re that filled with spelling fail you should probably just give up on the internet.
“Neal Tiemann dating Kira Von Sutra” – Oh, I hope this one is true! Just the idea of a green haired gal with an interesting style dating Neal is bound to send Celinesp1 and THEKimberly off the deep end into Crazytown. The twitter war will be comic gold!
“David Cook fucks” – I hope Baldy is getting laid out there somewhere. Everyone needs lovin’, just not frau lovin’
“David Cook tattoo lies” – How do tattoos lie?