Worst Buy & Google Searches

Dear David,

So you twittered-twatted about the incident in Best Buy yesterday where you were punk’d by someone asking if you were David Archuletta.  You twittered you were tempted to say yeah. You should have, just think about how funny that would have been to punk the punkers. Missed opportunity.

Saw the clip of it online. Funny stuff.

What isn’t funny stuff is the idiotic clamor risen by your hordes of horrible followers with their twitting, twatting, twittering in trying to come to your rescue in a situation that needed nothing redeemed. They are a stupid self-important lot. They’ve taken it upon themselves to alternately tell you how ‘great’ you are and how wonderfully you handled the situation AND for added points harass the punker. The gal responsible for your funny encounter has stated that your fans have no sense of humor. She neglected to mention that they also lack class, manners, sense, smarts and a whole lot of other important stuff. Poor you. Poor her.

It’s slow in Fantardlandia so they’re jumping on every idiot bit involving you. I’m sure if you twittered you had corn in your poo they’d twitter long treatise blaming corn for all sorts of likes, like allowing Hitler to arise to power or bombings in Afghanistan.


Switching gears, several of the Google searches yesterday and today have made me laugh so hard I blew diet coke out of my nostrils and all over the screen. I haven’t looked in a while and the searches are getting decidedly weirder.

Adam Lambert and Neal Tiemann porn – Poor Neal, hasn’t he suffered enough already?

Madam drinks porno horse sperm – There are no words.

Sort of like this?

Celineps1 Is Crazy – She’s been doing some more Neal torturing. Neal can’t seem to catch a break, can he?

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7 Comments on “Worst Buy & Google Searches”

  1. Ghausia Says:

    I twatted him saying Do you have corn in your poo? Is it cause of Hitler or the bombings in Afghanistan? I’m sorry I couldn’t resist!

    I’ve seen the Tiedam porn. Its ghastly. I vomited a little bit in my mouth.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      OMG! Tiedam Porn! Someone is sick sick sick!

      LMao at you twittering him. He’ll be wondering what’s up with that.

      • Ghausia Says:

        Sometimes I seriously wonder if he’s started to recognize me cause I twatspam him sometimes when I’m very, very, very bored. And I used to mention IT till S asked me not to, I accused him of ignoring me cause of people I was associated with. 😛 So I wonder if he remembers vaguely that I’m the crazy chick that mocks him for having loony fans. 😀

        It was well written. I pretended the other person was Andy Skib and not Neil. Actually I didn’t but the mental image that popped up in my mind wasn’t of Neil but of a cross between Skib and Cook. Wanna seeeeee? 😛

  2. freedavidcook Says:

    Ugh! no! I’m getting porn burnout with all the L Anne Carrington Porn Smartie is posting and assembling. My brain is on porn overload right now.

    • Ghausia Says:

      *pouts* You guys never want to read my porn!I work so hard on finding it for you guys!

      • nonna-muss Says:

        Oh please don’t involve poor Andy in porn! Ghausia, you twatted Cook about poo? Have the frauen started harassing you about that yet?

  3. Ghausia Says:

    No Nonna I’m so upset! I specifically said, is there corn in your poo? and no one said anything! I never get harassed, I’m so upset!

    Plus Skib is cute. Him I like. Neil, blegh no. But I don’t like reading anything about Skib cause he’s got that serious girlfriend you told me about.

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