Neal, Madam & You

Hey Dave,

Forget everything I said about your fans being deranged. Some of them are, but not the bulk of them.

The same cannot be said of Adam Lambert’s Sparkle Cow herd!

The same night you’re playing at the Morongo Events Center Mr Lambert will be shilling to the fraus at a 10th rate casino in Indio. He is playing at the aptly named Fantasy Springs Casino. More Sparkle Cow like, less Coachilla Fest.  I’m laughing over this grand Liberace-like debut concert after the end of Idol. Career fail.

The good news that holds is there is some of the crazy fan overlap that will undoubtedly drooling on the glitter bedecked stage at Adam Lambert’s sparkling tootsies. May your gig be filled with normal fans.

Also Neal, you really need to get some help for Neal. Not about his drinking, but protection from Celinesp1. She’s making crazy threats at him on twitter. THEKimberly seems determined to rumble with her so I’d have some security guards around to haul both of their asses to the pokey. Tell Neal to stick to blowjobs from hookers. Hookers usually will not boil your bunny afterward foolish sexual adventuring. At the very least tell him not to accept behind the bus blowjobs from gals with crazy eye syndrome.

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15 Comments on “Neal, Madam & You”

  1. Cooks_FUFL Says:

    First of all, I love this post! LOL

    Second of all, I am not that keen on Adam Lambert, so I don’t know a lot about his fans, but I still think that there are MANY crazy fans out there in Cooks Effed Up Fan Land. They fight on twitter about the dumbest things–comparing Andy and David, saying David should do this or that, spamming him constantly on there, etc. Yesterday they celebrated the 2 year anniversary of his first appearance on Idol. Seriously, folks, find a life on sale at Wal-Mart and buy one–quickly!

    THEKimberly is as crazy as Celine. She is none other than Smartie’s old pal from IT, Kimberly Powell (SvaginaJess’ former BFF). The woman seriously has a mental illness (she likes to talk about it to whomever will pity her). She is bipolar, I believe, and she sits on her fat ass all day and night on the computer trying to pick fights with all of the other fans. I am not saying Celine is not crazy, too–something really needs to be done about her–but she and Kim Powell need to get some strait jackets and be locked in a padded cell together, along with some of the other “Crazies” that are Cook fans.

  2. nonna-muss Says:

    Please don’t forget ladynsearch in your list of crazies. She tweets him good morning and good night every day. Her entire twitter page consists of only tweets about him. There are too many crazies to list I’m afraid. Poor David.

    I often wonder if he thinks about that old adage “Watch what you wish for or you just might get it.”

  3. mustang Says:

    Is TheKimberly the “kim kim kim” that IT used to talk about?

    • freedavidcook Says:

      Yes, Kim,Kim,Kim and THEKimberly are one and the same. THEKimberly is her twitter name. Apparently she’s broken up with her female friend and is back to men again.

  4. Dana Says:

    I saw that fat chick Kim on twitter going off on the other crazy chicks who all want to fuck fugly ole Neal, they are a bunch of nuts! Fun to watch though, and Kim has her pic with him on her avi, oh she is soooo Neal’s type lmao! Oily, fat, delusional, wannabe groupies haha. Sad.

  5. Dana Says:

    Oh and on twitter they were also talking about how Celine is going after Neals stripper girlfriend who lives in LA. And the crazy fans are following her too, WTF?! So maybe the crazy Celine chick is not so crazy after all haha,isn’t she a stripper too,or just groupie? She maybe his type, he seems to like to live dangerously, of course he’s drunk all the time so “beer googles” maybe 😉

  6. Ghausia Says:

    I smell an invasion of the frau my friends…

  7. nonna-muss Says:

    Dana’s writing style seems similar to one Celineps1. Hmmmm.

    Yeah Ghausia, they’ll invade. Won’t be long now until we’re all called jellius haterz!!!!!!eleven!!!11!!

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