Google Searches #15

Dear Baldy,

The big fun of Google keyword searches is the random and bizarre nature of them. Over ten years ago I used to have a blog where some freak kept booging in on the search term “Used sanitary napkin fetish” and it took me awhile to figure out the why. Example. This is close to what I wrote with the searched words highlighted.

I discovered I’d used up all my paper supplies before the big party, so I had to scramble around at the last second. The only party store in town always seemed so dowdy, dusty and not very sanitary that I was reluctant to purchase anything for so important a social gathering as this.  But I found a box of  nice paper napkin sets in the back of the china cabinet at home. And as the days passed leading up to the party I developed almost a cleanliness fetish in a futile attempt to keep our drawing room immaculate.

So any old super crazy term can be searched for in an oh so innocent posting. But my dark sense of humor always chortles and giggles over them. This weeks crop from this blog.

‘Tranny Mary Ann Ellis Holly” – of all the search terms I’ve seen on this blog this one makes me laugh the hardest! Mary Ann does look a little manly in some photos even if I cannot detect the presence of a shaved down Adams Apple.

‘Neal Tiemann krunk” – Neal seems to have slowed down on his boozy tweets but you never know. Look for him the liver transplant ward near you soon.

They are crazy bad bitches” – One mans crazy bitch is another mans love goddess. Unless they have crazy eyes.

“Man on the run David Cook” – Well Baldy, you’ve run on the Cancer fundraiser run. I witnessed you with my own two eyes running down the stairs at Urban Outfitters and I have a feeling you’ve had to run to escape your fans. Outrunning blubbery frau should be easy for you now.

“Porno Horse” – Enough with the bestiality!  Ugh! When I think of horses I want to think about “My Friend Flicka” or “Black Beauty” not “Nasty Hos Drilled By Horse Dick”

“Harpies Disease” – I think some folks call this ‘The Marriage Disease” and can run both ways, Nag-ee and Nag-er can be either sex. Unless is refers to the nekkid serenading chicks on the rocks in ‘The Iliad”

“Porny To” – No idea

“American Idol OCD” – Is that when you insist everyone shut the hell up around you, not breath, think or bother you when AI is on? Or that time when you grasp your cell phone like it’s your only lifeline and dial again and again voting for your choice, like some rat in a science experiment hitting the feeder bar for another crack rock until it passes out?

“Frau Madam Porn” – Hell to the NAW!! For the last time. Madam is gay. Madam is openly gay. Gay men do not boff old fat women regardless of the circumstances or the horny.

‘Teen Pusi wit black Cook Cock free porno” – Porn search for the super illiterate? If you’re that filled with spelling fail you should probably just give up on the internet.

“Neal Tiemann dating Kira Von Sutra” – Oh, I hope this one is true! Just the idea of a green haired gal with an interesting style dating Neal is bound to send Celinesp1 and THEKimberly off the deep end into Crazytown. The twitter war will be comic gold!

“David Cook fucks” – I hope Baldy is getting laid out there somewhere. Everyone needs lovin’, just not frau lovin’

“David Cook tattoo lies” – How do tattoos lie?

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18 Comments on “Google Searches #15”

  1. nonna-muss Says:

    It appears that Neal and Kira are dating. If not they are very close friends. It’s getting the frau all in a tizzy over at DCU. Of course there are some on twitter who are following her too. It has driven Celineps1 to become more nutso as she is now including Kira in her senseless twittering.

  2. mustang Says:

    Yes, they are definitely dating – Neal confirmed it. That’s why the frau are suddenly following her, because of course that will get them closer to Neal. That’s how it works, right?

    • nonna-muss Says:

      I didn’t know he confirmed it. When/where? Good for them. I hope they are happy despite the crazies that stalk them.

      Aside from Celine going off the deep end over this must have sent Svajina reeling as well.

      • Ghausiaq Says:

        Hmm after seeing who’s RTing Teev’s FDC links on Twatter, I don’t think mustang is one of us, so I won’t take it to heart. But considering how badly dear ole Celine was bitching at poor Kira, I wouldn’t be surprised it was true in which case, good for Neal, a green haired burleque dancer can’t possibly be uninteresting, that’s for sure.

      • mustang Says:

        He confirmed to some people at a show, NYE I believe, where he and Kira were together. Hence the cows sucking up to Kira now, twittering that they “had a great time hanging with” her. Pathetic.

        And Svajina is now claiming she and Neal are “only friends” to cover her lies.

      • mustang Says:

        Wow, you’d be wrong, I am not with them. Didn’t realize I’d be called into question. I can easily shut up – thought I was welcomed here but I guess not?

  3. nonna-muss Says:

    Seriously? Svajina and Neal are friends? Then why did she have to park her fat ass on the sidewalk over night at every show to be up front? Seems to me if they were such great friends she would have had all access passes. Hahahahahaha. Friends in her own mind I believe. I’d be pissed if I went to see my friends band and he made me sleep on a sidewalk over night EVERY night for nine months. Nice try Svaj, no one’s buying it.

  4. nonna-muss Says:

    Oh! and YAY!!! for Neal and Kira!! I hope they are happy together.

    (dang this place for having no way to edit posts!)

  5. freedavidcook Says:

    No mustang!! Don’t go anywhere! You are welcome here… only people I would dislike being here are the Sparkle Cows and they’d still probably be great fun to poke at.

  6. caspar Says:

    Celine can blame herself for Neal taking up w/Kira.

    If you had gotten involved with a random groupie and then had her turn into a lunatic stalker, you’d stick with old friends-with-benefits, too.

    For the same reason, it wouldn’t surprise me to find out Dave was spending time with some old KC girlfriend, either. (not saying that’s happened, it just wouldn’t surprise me).

    • nonna-muss Says:

      Jeez, I hope Dave has someone! That would suck to think he’s alone because of stupid frau bitches. Hope he’s got some hottie stashed away and they’re making each other very, very happy if you know what I mean.

      • Ghausia Says:

        Nonna, from what we’ve heard, he does get laid plenty, that’s pretty much every twentysomething rocker’s dream. 😀

        I doubt he ever took up with Celine in the first place, her claims that they did is just the deranged rant of a psychotic mind. And she’s his girlfriend, as he’s said, no need to assume she’s a fuckbuddy.

  7. nonna-muss Says:

    I find it quite amusing that Celineps1 keeps pointing Neal and Kira over here. In case you are too psychotic to notice Celine, everyone here thinks it’s great that Neal and Kira are together. She’s cute and intelligent. Two departments you seem to be lacking in.

    • Ghausia Says:

      Sweet Jesus Nonna, did you notice her twats? They’re repeats of comments from FDC! I don’t know from where, but they all seem familiar in phrasing, and sound like the kind of comments we make. Why is she twatting negative comments about herself to Neil and Kira? Psychopath! Neal and Cook are idiots if they haven’t got restraining orders yet. There’s a crazy wandering around the interwebs by the name of Stephanie Ware claiming to be Jensen Ackle’s wife. He’s mentioned in more than one interview that when he found out, he got a restraining order against her. Ooohh, is there any way to find out if there’s one against Celine?

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