Google Questions #16

Dear Baldy,

More wacky Google searches. Good gopher gravy I love ’em! Nothing funnier than the words that lead to here. Especially since there’s naught happening the world of Baldy-ism right now but you writing and recording your new music. Hope it’s going well and the creative juices are flowing.

“Organic Tattoo” – I am extremely confused by this one because even if ink is ‘organic’ it doesn’t mean it’s all safe and shit. I’m reminded of my Siamese that liked to chew on one of my art pens back in college. I couldn’t figure out the why until hearing that the ink in it was made up partially from ground up bugs. Someone ‘splain to me the difference between organic and non-organic tattooing please.

“I Love Lori Anne” – I think L Anne Carrington, authoress of some of the world’s worst fiction and noted plagiarist, has been riding her Hoveround/Rascal scooter without bringing along the oxygen tank.  Would not surprise me if she was self-Googling without probable cause again to see if she mattered to anyone than our usual gang of chortling meanies.

However I am hoping this means that VH1 is developing  a show around her called “FUPA of Love”

“Tranny Porn” – Is that anything like the Tranny Honey I spotted out and about today?

“Run from a sociopath” – what you have to do every single day out on the road and what Neal is having to do now to date the green haired gal.

“David Cook hair loss secrets” – Looks like some dumbass thinks you’re trying to lose your hair on purpose instead of naturally.

“David Cook sociopath” – Are you a sociopath? You don’t seem like it. In fact, I got a kick out of you and the kids on that house building show. You painting picture frames with sick kids is very anti sociopathic I think.  Now certain of your biggest fans, *cough, coughmaryannellishollysockpuppetscough, cough* is a different story.

“Big Cook Porn” – I’m guessing someone wants a certain lardy chef’s manicotti up their chitterlings. Didn’t even know there were chubber chaser porn for the gourmand.

“Horny Old Lady Porn” – I’m pretty sure that’s what paperback romance novels are and what keeps Lifetime Network For Women on the air.

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4 Comments on “Google Questions #16”

  1. This is a wonderful service that you provide to David Cook. He should be thanking you!

  2. Ghausia Says:


    Tranny porn makes em want to TT lamberttrannypeegate again!

  3. freedavidcook Says:

    reminds me I must find out when Ru Paul’s Drag Race is airing again. I love that show!

  4. Smartie Says:

    Everyone loves L Anne 😉

    Ep two of Drag Race is on now!

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