We Have A Winner!

“Cheese or snow?” -Rusty Griswold in the movie European Vacation’

That was the question last night, do we watch cheese or snow? Sven and I lolled around on our sofa and debated this while the snow was falling heavily outside. Snow sometimes messes with our ability to receive television stations. So instead of The History Channel or Keith Olbermann we ended up with the cheese, ‘American Idol’. It was literally cheese or snow.

I’m glad we watched the cheese fest that was the Denver auditions even if I started wanting to slap the fuck out of Kara very quickly. It revealed something I’ve been anticipating for months now; This Years Frau Bait!

David, you should be rejoicing right now because Casey James has been deemed the winner of all things frau! Any moment now your nuttier fans and more persist fans will be dumping you like a fully filled Depends adult diaper for this guy.

Poor Casey James does not know what type of Pandora’s Box he opened by the mere act of audition for Idol. He’s got a good sob story that the fraus like, motorcycle injuries. He looks sort of like a male model. When he appeared I sat up and muttered, ‘What’s wrong with this one? He’s too good looking for Idol.”

Somewhere in the distance I could hear the panties and jaws dropping of a million fantards.

He’s got that Southern accent thing going on. He’s got the Fabio long blond hair thing happening and he plays the guitar.

On the minus side he seems to have the personality and charisma of a turnip. But that could just be nerves.

So how do I know that this dude is getting ready to snipe all your insaner frau away with his bare chest and girly golden locks?Β  Because Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets had sockpuppet Awesome-Dave at David Cook Uncensored asking away what everyone thought about lamb to the slaughter of stupidity Casey James.Β  That’s a good declaration of interest.

Good for you because the untrue stories in the tabloids about your love life will stop.

Poor Casey James. Poor poor Casey James, he has no idea what he’s in for.

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13 Comments on “We Have A Winner!”

  1. nonna-muss Says:

    True to form his name starts with a ‘C’! Clay, Constanstain, Cook now Casey. We predicted she’d find a man that started with a C in her two year cycle. I’ve heard through the grapevine that Kim, Kim, Kim also took a shining to him. Let’s hope for Dave’s sake Casey makes it to the top 24. Relief for Dave, but poor Casey.

  2. Ghausia Says:

    No way dude, he’s so fugly!

  3. Mithra Says:

    I was kinda thinking he was going to be cannon fodder…not any more. Damn, he just got his ticket to the tour and three and a half months of being molested by frauen. I should check IDF and see if Heliotrope and Holygofuckyourself are fancying him.

  4. mustang Says:

    Will you make a FreeCaseyJames site when the inevitable happens? πŸ˜‰

    • freedavidcook Says:

      Hhmmmm, maybe. Just depends how crazy the crazy get and how attention whorey douchebaggery he is. If he is even slightly douchey in a Gokey way or a Constantine way there’s no way.

  5. Sandy Says:

    I saw sockpuppet awesome-dave’s post. Poor Casey James is right. Holly is ready to move on to her next victim and he doesn’t have a clue what he’s in for.

  6. Lanne Tard Says:

    The sad thing is, I took a peek at his audition clip on YT since the epi doesn’t air here til this evening. I thought he was totally adorable & suspected he’ll be THE tard magnet for all the nutburgers of contestants past. Great, now I can’t luv him since the likes of Holly SockPuppets will 😦

    *sigh* I really can pick ’em πŸ˜›

  7. William Says:

    I noticed some entries about Lori Dennick aka L.Anne Carrington aka Loranden (one word name) as well as many fictional names used to do online interviews with herself and post on many blogs and websites. Another name I have called her is Aunt. Yes, my relative. Just wanted to say keep up the good work!

    • Smartie Says:

      William, I’d love to talk to you!

      Do the rest of your family know about her many convictions? Did any of them visit her in jail? I have so many questions, I hope you drop by my site and check out everything she’s written and admitted to.

  8. Lanne Tard Says:

    at the risk of sounding tardish, Yaara…but reckless driving, driving w/o a license, and a single DUI which does not involve a crash & bodily injury/death are not “felonies”. Misdemeanors, yes, stupid ones, but NOT felony crimes.

    Unlike Lanne’s decorative felony record, which leads me to William….do tell!!!

  9. freedavidcook Says:

    William, William, William, oh I have a zillion questions to ask you. Did you know your Auntie still has a bench warrant out for her arrest? Does your family know about all the porn she’s written and her attempts to be a sex worker? Has she ever really had a gastric procedure?

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