Google Questions #17

Dear Baldy,

Didja have fun singing backing vocals and playing guitar for Andy last night? Guess you weren’t as attention whoring as I thought. Was it nice to see the same old crazy fat faces in your immediate line of vision out there? I’m guessing that’s probably a no.

Be grateful they aren’t doing the dick handling – nut tugging Adam Lambert fans have done to him. He looked so out of his mind on Peruvian Marching Powder that he didn’t seem to notice at first that the hands groping him were either  female, bony and age spotted or ham fisted plump feminine mitts. I understand all about enjoying recreational substances while performing but I think Madam took it a little too far that night.  I guess at least it wasn’t tranny pee.

Okay, so it’s time to look at the weirder Google searches that have landed folks here recently. It’s quite the bizarre list. I’m not even sure I’m going to comment on any of them..

Romance David Cook – So what does it take, Baldy? A bottle of Ripple and the underwear section of the Sears & Roebuck catalog? Candy and flowers?  Midgets bearing filled enema bags? Your public is apparently dying to know.

Tard Strong Bracelet – That’s the only type of jewelry I do not possess and wish I did. Idletard’s Smartie gave those out as rewards for bringing great frau sightings and the like.  I would put it right next to my “Prosecute Bush/Cheney For War Crimes” bracelet.

Insane Wig – Insane as in William Shatner wig insane or as in Phylis Diller insane or Bozo?

Free Porn Sex Whorse – There are whore horses?

Porny Bitches – ????

My Little Porny – Beginners porn.

Insane Cook Brothers – Seem pretty normal from here.

David Cook meet & greet Morongo 2010 – Le sigh.

Love is a blond hore with mental diesese – Hore is a town in the Tikare Department of Bam Province in northern Burkina Faso. So someone thinks that a blond from Hore that’s crazy is the meaning of love.

Free Tranny Gondas Mouvie – I know what ‘Free’ and ‘Tranny’ are but Gondas could either be a town in Ethiopia or a sub shop in Pennsylvania.

Baldy Holly used what guitars? – Did someone combine your DNA and Buddy Holly’s and make some sort of Frankentarist?

David Cook Agnostic – I wouldn’t believe in God either if I was being chased by those heifers.

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5 Comments on “Google Questions #17”

  1. caspar Says:

    Speaking of attention whores, Celine tweeted last nite all fake-pissed because she was ‘passed out’ and thus missed the big rumble in Tulsa.

  2. freedavidcook Says:

    Dammit!!! I wanted a rumble with sissy slaps and name calling!

  3. nonna-muss Says:

    In one of her tweets is she implying she’s going to the show in Palm Springs this week? Why don’t they just get an RO already so they can lock her up and make everyone happy?

  4. jen Says:

    Apparently they combed the crowd in Tulsa before letting anyone in to make sure she wasn’t there.

  5. caspar Says:

    Combed the crowd, eh? Looking for one particular fivehead and set of cankles in that bunch must have been a challenge.

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