Africa, New Orleans, Tattoos and Hair Raising Hair Lines

Dear Baldy,

I guess I can’t call you that any longer since you did something surprising/startling/new with your hair. While it’s obviously still very thin in places you’re cut off the bangs into a Daniel Mead.

Eric Mabius (Daniel Mead – “Ugly Betty”) could eat crackers in my king sized bed any night of the week if I were free and single and younger.

I’ve heard speculation you’re had hair plugs or Hair Club For Men or some other artificial means of hair raising when the new do appeared. Not sure it’s not just your natural hairline. Looks better than those bangs. You know what they used to call bangs in the pre-Victorian era? Lunatic fringe.

Tempted to nickname you ‘Peanut’ Never noticed before how weird the shape of your head is.

Heard you attended the 2010 Ezra Open in my hometown of New Orleans. Good on you. My hometown needs all the help it can get. So how drunk did you get on Bourbon St?

And this week you’re flying out to Africa to help the UN Foundation. Another good on you. But… drink lots of bottled water and watch your step.  Take the prophylaxis drugs they give you and prepare for an unforgettable experience. I’m pretty sure the only large wrinkled-skin mammals you will see there will not be your retarded frau tard pack. And the elephants probably smell better too.

But what’s with the nibbled down to nothing fingernails? Nasty habit that will surely expose you to some nasty unknown germs on the African continent if you chomp and chew your nails there.

So now I’m done with the pushy advice and speculation that pops in my mind when I listen to what your tards are talking about. The biggest weirding me out thing your tards have been up to was that shitaeously ugly tattoo of Andy Skib some proud fantard got.

I saw this much earlier in the week at several boards and today at Top Idol. It’s super-creepy looking. At first I didn’t know exactly what it reminded me of until I was channel surfing and saw a few seconds of one of those prison life specials on MSNBC. Some prisoner had one the same size and color as this freaky looking Andy. Except his was of some chick with big hooters and flames behind her head.

There’s nothing wrong with getting a tattoo per se but your tards take it way too far into the creepy and inappropriate territory. I’ve heard tales of your tour bus logo ending up on someone’s rubbery floppy dugs and The Mid West Kings logo on someone elses back along with loads of poorly executed song lyrics on various body parts.  Glad no one has tried to get your face on their back like one of Adam Lambert’s Sparkle Cows did (Hitler Lambert)

I think the thing I find the most disturbing about these tattoos, other than the fact that most of these women are going to seriously regret tattooing the face of a fleeting crush permanently on their bodies as they age and sag, are the subjects. No, not Madam, let some Sparkle Cow put the Glittery Faking Alien on their heinies. It’s the fact that they are putting the face of a nice young kid like Andy, young enough to have emerged from most of their vaginas, on themselves. It’s just sick and wrong on so many levels.

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12 Comments on “Africa, New Orleans, Tattoos and Hair Raising Hair Lines”

  1. KP Says:

    whoa!!! looks like Andy punched her in the back and she tattooed the bruise!

  2. Sandy Says:

    I just can’t get over how hideous that tatoo looks. And it is totally unrecognizable as being Andy.

    • nonna-muss Says:

      Poor Andy. He’s just a quiet kid that minds his own business. I thought Cook and Neal had all the crazies after them. I guess I was being stupid to think Andy was immune. It must creep him the hell out to know this tattoo is out there.

      • Sandy Says:

        Well, it seems Andy has his own set of crazy fans now too. David has sung some MWK songs at some of his concerts and they have shouted out that he should be letting Andy sing them. They’ve complained on David’s official site that it’s unfair for David to sing “Andy’s songs” right in front of him and posted the same thing under Youtube videos. I find the whole situation rather bizarre.It seems quite presumptuous for fans to be telling someone what they should or shouldn’t be doing at their own concert. I’m sure if his bandmates had a problem with him singing those songs that he wouldn’t do them. But he’s giving them exposure that they otherwise wouldn’t get. I would never have even heard about them if it weren’t for David. I did buy Andy’s CD and I do like it but I much prefer David’s voice and I would much rather hear him sing if I am paying for a ticket to a David Cook concert. I said as much once on David’s official site and got jumped on by Andy fans who said I would be hurting Andy’s feelings if he saw what I said.

  3. Sondra Says:

    FTR….the girl who got that tattoo of Andy is in her twenties. But I bet you knew that.

    • Sandy Says:

      Doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a weird, creepy thing to do. And it still looks hideous. I wonder how her future boyfriend/husband will feel about having to look at some other guy’s face permanently affixed to her body.

    • nonna-muss Says:

      It doesn’t matter if she’s 20 or 50, it’s still a crazy thing to do. She and all of her friends can tell themselves as often as they wish that it’s cool and awesome, but I doubt Andy feels that way. It must freak him out to think some stranger is walking around with a tattoo of him permanently affixed to her body. And a bad tattoo at that. It doesn’t even look like him.

  4. Bridget Says:

    holy crap i just read that she paid $1000 for that tattoo….

    i have become a huge tattoo snob since i got my first one and that thing is horrible..yuck

    • nonna-muss Says:

      Holy fuck!! She paid $1000 to have a big, black blob permanently etched into her body?? I thought she was a freak before, now I KNOW she is a fuh-reeeeek!

    • Sandy Says:

      Damn! Just think of all the concerts she could have gone to for the price of that tattoo! And it STILL looks hideous.

  5. Natalie Says:

    What’s with the HATE?? While I agree that the ladies who get tattoos of celebs are crazy, I don’t know why you are wasting your time making fun of the likes of David Cook and Adam Lambert! David Cook is one of the humblest idols ever, and commits time to good causes, like the Race for Hope to support brain cancer research. If you think his fans are SO whacked, why do YOU know so much about him?? (Albeit, only superficial facts, like that he has short fingernails…) ; P

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