More Google Searches – Lost Count Now..

Dear David,

I’ve not been paying much attention to the Google searches leading here until today. Most of them are porn involves like “My Little Porny” or “David Cook Andy Skib Neal Tiemann Slash” Porn’s not my thing. I find it rather boring, same old in and out, even though I know lots of folks adore it.  Nothing wrong it.

But to have your fans openly Googling for sexual based fan fic for you and your band is pretty far over the line of appropriateness.  Real person fiction is creepy as hell.

The porn searches of the horny and desperate not related to you really make me laugh..

Sub male in blonde torture cook porno video – Not a clue. This must be some sort of hentai action I’ve not heard of involving cooks and chefs. It keeps popping up here again and again. Someone please elucidate in the comments.

Insane Cook Porn – Again, What. The. Hell?

Young men & boys love big cock – Hey, who doesn’t? I know Adam Lambert prolly does. But I bet you don’t.

Baldy marry – Someone is curious to know when you’ll be tying the knot.  I’m betting they think they’d fill that bridal slot perfectly. I can see some frautard complying a dream wedding scrapbook with all the crap she fantasizes about you. Run!! Take my advice, don’t do it till you’re 30.

Who is CooCoo – Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs. That describes perfectly some of the frau herd.

Idletard point & laugh – Sic transit gloria mundi  or so passes worldly glory. Idletard may have bitten the dust, but the laughing and pointing at the tards it embraced lives on forever.

Insane Cook brothers – I don’t know, you and your bro Andrew seem rather sane to me most of the time. However, being stalked by those fat old ladies is enough to drive anyone around the bend. Your poor brother is probably traumatized for all time and eternity because your frau hit on him with pictures of you as them. I don’t think he’s a fan of  ‘The closer the kin, the deeper it goes in.’

Kerry Kolsch frau tard – Someone was looking for the most insane of all the Adam Lambert fraus. The one that insists that it’s a conspiracy involving 19E, Chick Fil La, AT&T, the state of Arkansas, devout Southern Christians and a laundry list of others that was to blame for Adam failing to win Idol. Wonder what she’s blaming Adam’s massive post Idol blunders on?

and lastly,

Big John Bret Michaels – Poor old Bert,, er, Bret Michaels is having a time of it right now. He had appendicitis in Texas and had to have it removed. This is on top of his weekly televised humiliation at the hands of  Donald Trump and his team mates on Celebrity Apprentice. Looks like 2010 is not shaping up to be one of his best years. Last week Bret was crying onscreen. I didn’t know he had it him in to weep like that. After years of making fun of him on all those shitfest “Rock of Love” programs he actually comes away very differently on Apprentice.

But I still needs me some Big John.

You need a Big John too to keep the freaks away at your gigs.

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