Archive for June 2010

Glittery Blinders: The Bat-Shittery of The Sparkle Cows

June 29, 2010

So yesterday was the big show in DC at the uber-ghetto 9:30 Club, a place that would benefit from being knocked down and rebuilt. As much fun as it seemed to go down there and watch all the sweaty Sparkle Cow Glammits sweat even more in the blazing hot heat for hours on end in an area devoid of fast food and semi-industrial I stayed home. I wasn’t afraid of the glamsmacks I would have received, I wasn’t too concerned about lurking crackheads, or anything else to do with the gig. The thing that stopped me was the stupid insane crazy over the top heat of yesterday. According to the local Teevee the heat indexes topped out at something like 107F yesterday. That’s enough to melt the strongest glamascara and Aquanet.

It could have been a ‘go’ I knew where he was staying. I could have probably gotten Madam to sign the original of “Wardrobe Malfunction” as he seems to have a sense of humor more than his Glammits.

However, I did have a friend that went, that braved the heat and the stupidity just to see Orianthi and Allison. She stayed for Madam and took pictures for me. Her words to me describing last night are striking similar to those truthful ones uttered by Washington Post critic Chris Richards’ in his review of last night. The words “Shrieking” appeared many times along with ‘glittery’ ‘uncomfortable’ and ‘amateurish’ not to mention ‘old ladies wearing ugly Crocs’. She offered to write a review for this site but I think I’ll merely post her pictures without her name. She don’t want death threats and ill spelled ranty messages here along with demands her boss at media outlet X fire her ass for having a personal opinion about something she did on her off hours.

Smart girl. Right now those numb nut Glammits, those vile Sparkling Cows are trying to flood The Washington Post with demands that they fire Chris Richard or they’ll cancel their subscriptions. As if any of those dullards actually reads the Post must less has a subscription. Nimrods, you have to be a customer, a real legitimate money spending customer, of something for any company to take you seriously.  As if!  You guys only read when it a) it’s a tabloid or b) Madam is mentioned in passing form.

Fail again. Sparkling glittering soon to be hamburgers.

Oh, yeah, Adam went for the cheap easy thrill for the crowd by predictably kissing his band member onstage again. Yawn. So so edgy.

Saturday Secrets Sunday

June 27, 2010

The Title reminds me I haven’t looked at Post Secret today. It’s been ages since I sent in a Post Secret. Once Frank published the funniest one I sent in. What the secret in this title refers to is a Live Journal Community called Saturday Secrets.

Someone over there altered and posted my entry for Top Idol’s Tard Art Contest. The quick mixed media drawing I did in a few minutes with various markers and pens and gold foil of Adam Lambert accidentally impaling his eye on a spike from his costumer?

I thought I’d thoroughly explained my lack of wishing bad things on Adam and about the drawing in an early posting but apparently some of the batshit crazy Sparkle Cow herd has chosen to willfully ignore my own stated motives. So I posted on their Live Journal this below. Reposting it here because I’m sure the shit-stirring mod that posted it at SS will immediately erase my posting.

There’s way more fun things to do, like poke fun at Casey James crazy fan, the Bussone lady, that took her family with her to stalk him at the Detroit airport.

I am the creator of that quick stupid drawing. It was done solely as a joke because I do wonder about those spikes. Never have I wished harm on Adam. I think Adam would see the humor in it. In fact I’m going to ask him to sign it when I see him soon. I am neither a Kris or Adam fan. I do like some of each of their songs equally. Nor am I a David Cook fan. I actually told him when I met him that I wasn’t a fan of his but I was of  making fun of the crazies that follow him around and greet all of his doings as sacred actions.

All of you are taking your fan following for Adam Lambert way too seriously. I don’t get the vibe that Adam is that serious of a person. I’m sure your strong devotion scares the hell out of him. You can be a fan of someone without being over the top frightening and scaring off most of the sane rational people in this world. It’s not hard and it would sure leave you with enough time to have a life instead of sleeping on the sidewalks in front of the venues and other less than rational actions.

Also, you do not have permission to display that drawing here. I am the original copyright holder as the creator and I’ve only allowed TopIdol to post it for her contest. Please remove it immediately or I will get Live Journal and Image Shack to remove it for copyright violation.

Smack A Bitch Up!

June 23, 2010

The thing about Cook Tards is at least they never threatened physical violence against anyone that I know of. I’m sure they dreamed about snatching the women rumored to be Baldy dates baldheaded but no one dared post it.

Adam Lambert Tards? Hmmm, not so much.

Turns out that after Top Idol posted my entry to the Tard Art contest and 8SourCandy’s some of the Sparkle Cows said this was sure evidence that all of us, TI, 8SC, WD and myself were literally dangerous to Adam.  Uh, Sparkle Cows, none of us have ever uttered a wish for his harm. In fact in my art piece, the only of the bunch with blood, it was a self injury via costume. Nothing we’ve said or done has ever indicated that we ‘hate’ him or are planning any type of violence against the poor man.

Just because someone finds a performers music banal and manufactored does not indicate that they are going to get all stabby on the performer. It just means they’ll never buy a concert ticket or CD.

In contrast you have thrown sex toys on the stage, slept on the streets for days, chased his bus, spammed his Twitter account with all sorts of nutbar things, behaved like he owes you something. In short most of the Sparkle Cows have behaved in ways that only the obsessional and mentally ill act.

Do you know who murders celebrities or harms them? Fans. Do the murders of John Lennon and Rebecca Schaffer? They were killed by fans. Overzealous sicko fans emotionally invested in someone that doesn’t know or give a crap if they even exist.

You guys, you Sparkle Cows, are a danger to Adam. But then again I’m sure you’re a danger to everyone in your lives. You sure have been posting some ugly threats towards others lately.

This is being posted today on Twitter. You know Twitter, that place that the Library of Congress is saving and cataloging every single tweet, even these threats, which I’m pretty sure violate New York state law?

ETA: Someone just told me these were off one of the many Adam boards. Still tacky and illegal.  A threat is a threat. What stupid bitches you all are. Adam must really be proud of his fans.

pollyness if anyone sees melinda green of TopIdol near Nokia tonight, please bitchslap her for me, ok? TYVM.

runawaysu Hey Adam fans who are going to Adam’s show 2nite, can you glamsmack rickey and topidol morons for me? Thanks!!!

For Your Entertainment

June 20, 2010

To paraphrase Lady Gaga, whom I adore, if you kill a Sparkle Cow you have to make a glittery burger.

All is not so well in Sparkle Cow Adam Lambert fan land and they’re blaming a variety of folks, like Top Idol.

Melinda of Top Idol has been kind enough to feature Wickedly Dark’s review of last night’s Lambert turn at the mike in Toronto. The Glamination Abomination rolls on. Wickedly Dark was as honest as always and that’s not sitting well with the Cows. Apparently the truth hurts fuckballs.

The other thing that’s making me laugh like crazy going down at Top Idol is the wondrous Tard Art contest. I think Deez should win with her glorious Tardstine Chapel ceiling. It is brilliant.

But the Cows are choosing to be outraged by an entry by one of their own, 8SourCandy’s Glambert’s Travels, also a really great entry. They are claiming it’s homophobic, which I do not get at all.  It’s a funny, not insulting to Adam, parody of Gullivers Travels, which is a classic piece of literature which is NOT homophobic.

This is what Websters defines homophobia as “irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals” which is in no way what 8SourCandy’s entry is. I guess when you’re a hardcore flailing Adamgasming Sparkle Cow you have to check your intellect and common sense at the door to the Tard Clubhouse.

Between her entry and mine, as seen below…we’re mightily pissed off the Sparkle Cows to the point where one of them set up a sock puppet Twitter ID, _Technologysux. This charming sock puppet started tweeting David Cook and Chris Allen that 8SourCandy was a super homophobic and I was a ‘maimer’. So so stupid. like either of them gives a rats patootie about Tard Art.

I have been thinking about Adam and those silly spikes since the first time he wore them on the Idol stage. I kept thinking it looked like a wardrobe malfunction just waiting to happen. A few too many energetic head tosses and something gets speared by a spike. I’m not stating I want Madam to take a spike in the eye. It would just totally screw up his heavy eye makeup and the blood would pool in his skin craters. I’d cringe. But his costumes make me worry that this is a real possibility.

_technologysux, you want Adam maiming and Tard Art? You got it. My redoing of a few pieces of bad Madam Fan art.. Enjoy. Pity you have no sense of humor.

Onion Dome Haired Adam

Open wide and say yumm

No tards were harmed making these travesties. Direct all hate emails to IThrowHissyfits(at)Gmail(dot)com

ETA: 8SourCandy is an Adam Lambert fan but not a insano Sparkle Cow. Sorry I didn’t make that clear. 8 I miss your posts over at Top Idol. Please come back!

Thin Line Between The Dark Side & Sanity: Adam Lambert Fans

June 16, 2010

And these bitches have crossed it, the Sparkle Cows have been providing me with hours of amusement reading through their idiotic butt-licking comments over on the VH1 page hosting the “If I Had You” video. They are all outraged that after you listen to his latest Eurotrash Disco Pop offering the video rolls right over to Kris Allen’s “Live Like We’re Dying” A capacious amount of the Mad Cow herd accidentally placed their mindless praise for the Glittery One on Kris Allen’s video.

Some select comments –

brownie commented | 4 hours ago

stop with kris’s video, it’s all about adam now!

Reply to this comment  |  Edit  |  Delete  |  Flag

ChuckM commented | 4 hours ago

Love this video. BUT WHAT IS ADAM’S VIDEO GIVING KRIS ALLEN’S VID A FREE RIDE? Stop the roll through linkage please.

EdyC commented | 4 hours ago

VH1 PLEASE FIX this site..I DO NOT intend to suport Kris’s Video!!

girlsnight commented | 9 hours ago


does this go to KA song—-Are we being forced to support him? wonder how many votes he has gotten because Adams fans do not know they are posting on K site–come on guys–FIX THIS–let K. get his votes on his own

So Adam’s fans are too genuinely dumb to realize how to use VH1’s commenting system and cannot avoid their cursed Kris Allen. Newsflash heifers, it’s not that difficult to figure out. Epic failure.  Kris Allen WON American Idol so I’m afraid you’re stuck with occasional reminders of him. Suck it up, live with and stop pretending Lambert is the shit.

The song isn’t horrible. As I mentioned yesterday I kind of like it. But I just about ruined my keyboard reading this drivel

Wow-thiswas wonderful! Sort of ‘Hair’, meets “Burning Man’ meets a little West Hollywood. There was SO MUCH joy in the song and the performance, and my only criticism is that I didn’t have time to drool over some of the fabulous costumes. (Adam makes top hats sexy again. Whee!) I wanna put on some black color liner and romp in the woods. 😀 Adam, thanks for the love and heart and spirit you put into your music

I want some of whatever it is she’s smoking because I can’t see/hear this in that video.

Look at some of Kris’s video and see the confused comments stretching back a few days now at VH1. Ha.  Some people are too stupid and should never be allowed on the internet, like Adam Lambert fans.

Makes me laugh because I hear “Live Like We’re Dying” way more on local radio than anything by Adam.

Screens? Really? Seizure Inducing Forest Parties?

June 15, 2010

According to Variety that plantation system with the Idol slaves, 19 Entertainment, is being sued by the American Idol band and backup singers.  Apparently AI and 19 have purposely screwed them out of any royalties via the performances being endlessly sold on Itunes. For shame, 19E! Pay the musicians what is owed them. Without the band and backup singers we’d have to listen to the mawkish squawking of Adam Lambert and pals without music softening the blow.  However will the Lee Dewyses of this world know how far off key they are without backing?

Speaking of mawkish squawking Adam Lambert’s new video has been released. If you’re prone to epileptic seizures do not watch as there is happy seizure inducing lazer flashing towards the end.

Adam looks like a mulleted S&M version of Adam Ant in the beginning on his way to what we call around here a ‘field party’ A field party is a bunch of people getting together outside somewhere with music and dancing/screwing/whatevering after licking a bunch of cane toads or the mushrooms on the cow turds. I don’t like the video, if I want to watch that kind of jackassery all I have to do it crash the party on the farm any Saturday night it’s not raining.

But… I have to say as much as I think the video sucks I kinda like the song. I can see this turning up on the Zoomba Dance class rotation soon. It’s just the kind of stuff I listen to when running on the treadmill down at the gym or punching the speed bag. “What Do You Want From Me” is already on my gym rotation list. I adore Pink and Adam sounds most Pink-like on that one.

Shout out to Kerry Kolsch: Notice that the video is sponsored by AT&T.

Chris Sligh noted this morning that Adam always sounds like the artists who wrote the songs and I cannot argue with that. He does.

Looks like Ryan Seacrest can rest easier, his stalker is in jail for two years now. Which kind of makes me laugh that Ryan has stalkers. Are we sure these aren’t just old hump and dumps of a man firmly in the closet?

But the biggest Idol ‘WTF’ news came that some loony tard visited David Cook’s hometown and went around to his two childhood homes. Trespassed around one, looking into the windows and removing the screen if the photos are right.


This is creepy and crossing the line...

..and this is creeper and law breaking..

This is so wrong and creepy and borderline stalking. To the tard: have you lost your entire freaking mind? At least by twatting the photographs everywhere Cook’s security team knows what you look like to add you to the list of crazies. Sick freak.


June 14, 2010

I don’t get it. Does it always follow American Idols that their twitter pages are filled up with ridiculous crap from their followers? Mostly it looks like championship mindless ass kissing with stalker-like statements thrown in.

Yesterday I made the mistake of looking at Cook’s Twitter stream after he innocuously tweeted about watching the Boston Celtics. Suddenly all his silly fans were Boston Celtic fans, lockstepped lemmings foolishly goosestepping over the high dive cliff of stupidity.  Do they really think he believes all of them were Celtic fans before he announced his allegiance?  The scaries were mixed in, the chicks that make You Tube videos about his body parts like some strange fetish,  the ones that have temples to him with burning candles before photographs that they pray to. Sexual come ons, etc. etc.  Do they not realize that the Library of Congress is going to save all this super embarrassing girly drooly shit? I would love to know what future generations will make of this.

It does make me laugh that he tweeted about Twinkies being too deliciously fattening and that Nabisco responded by tweeting about their 100 calorie packs. Now that is information he needed.  They should hire him to do a commercial just so that the fantards will respond by buying those nasty things in bulk. Their sales would skyrocket.