Futbol Imaginary Zexy-Time
So Sir Baldy and pals played last night during a professional soccer game in that most hip city, Salt Lake City. I don’t have all the details of the gig, nor do I really want them. Did they rush out to make shau on the field between games or sumfin? Whatever, I’m not a fan of his music.
But what peaks my interest are all the silly tweets on twitter about being ‘stage fucked’ last night by Baldy and crew. Reality check time, having sex and watching someone on the stage are two distinctly different activities. I know those fans are obsessional about Baldy’s wang being ten feet long or some such nonsense but still.
There is no such thing as ‘stage fucking’.
There is crazy delusions of the mind and overweening ‘I haven’t gotten laid in so long that a stiff breeze on my arm makes me cum.’ Ladies, there’s no shame in being between male companionship that provides those essential sexual services but, for the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster please buy a sex toy and stop mistaking concerts by strangers with sex.
Besides, most of you tweeting about your stage-gasms are already on the David ‘Baldy’ Cook security team watch list for insanity. Oh yes, I know for a fact that such a list does exist complete with photos and information for security. You fantasize about being fucked by Baldy, while his security guys eye fuck the crowd looking for loonies. You have a better chance of being struck on the head by a solid gold meteorite than having hot sexy time with Baldy.
Go console yourself with another case of Twinkies. Besides, he’s probably crap in bed, most musicians are. They are spoiled bastards, used to just laying back and letting the fawning groupies do all the heavy lifting.Explore posts in the same categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Baldy, Crazy bitches, Daina scamming tard, David Cook, David Cook American Idol Insane Fans, David Cook Baldy, David Cook insane fans, Fantards, Frau, Heliotrope, Insane Fans, Krunk Jess, Mary Ann Holly sockpuppets, mental illness, Needs a vibrator, Never been laid, Stacy, Too horny for sausageYou can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.