New American Idol Judge

Apparently the brainiacs at 19 Entertainment are actually considering putting Bert, errr, Bret Michaels in Simon’s old judge position. While it could be interesting (imagine the possible RoL-style hijinks) and rife with possibilities it’s also another likely sign that Idol has jumped a fleet of sharks and is now circling the drain. This article goes on to state that Bret is rearranging his touring schedule and that Simon Cowell pitched Bret as his replacement. Not the first place to print this speculation.

What would Idol look like with Bret as a judge?  Bret as a judge strikes me as someone who would be like the bastard love child of Randy Jackson and Ellen DeGeneres, a genuine Plaquemines parish mistake. You could count on Bret to be as nice like Ellen and as meaninglessly jargonistic as Randy. Instead of ‘Yo Dawg’ you’d get ‘Wassagoinon’ and ‘die-a-beettus’. Bret could never fill Simon’s blunt honesty mixed with sarcasm daily requirements. Add in his inappropriate sexual bantering for extra creepiness. It would be a cluster-you-know-what if they pick Bret.

Loved Bret on ‘Celebrity Apprentice’, loathed him on “Rock of Love’, liked his turn on Idol with Casey James, but he’s just not right as a judge. Bring Bert on as a mentor for a week, now that would be nice, just don’t ask him to take over for Simon. We need a different kind of nasty.

However, Bret might be able to give David Cook some tips of wigs and hair extensions and tattoo care.

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One Comment on “New American Idol Judge”


  1. Oh no. You know what just occurred to me? They’re going to milk this all the way to January. There will be guest judges throughout the audition rounds as they keep their permanent replacement under wraps.

    It’s gonna be a loooooooooooooooooong summer in this crazy little American Idol world we live in.


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