For Your Entertainment

To paraphrase Lady Gaga, whom I adore, if you kill a Sparkle Cow you have to make a glittery burger.

All is not so well in Sparkle Cow Adam Lambert fan land and they’re blaming a variety of folks, like Top Idol.

Melinda of Top Idol has been kind enough to feature Wickedly Dark’s review of last night’s Lambert turn at the mike in Toronto. The Glamination Abomination rolls on. Wickedly Dark was as honest as always and that’s not sitting well with the Cows. Apparently the truth hurts fuckballs.

The other thing that’s making me laugh like crazy going down at Top Idol is the wondrous Tard Art contest. I think Deez should win with her glorious Tardstine Chapel ceiling. It is brilliant.

But the Cows are choosing to be outraged by an entry by one of their own, 8SourCandy’s Glambert’s Travels, also a really great entry. They are claiming it’s homophobic, which I do not get at all.  It’s a funny, not insulting to Adam, parody of Gullivers Travels, which is a classic piece of literature which is NOT homophobic.

This is what Websters defines homophobia as “irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals” which is in no way what 8SourCandy’s entry is. I guess when you’re a hardcore flailing Adamgasming Sparkle Cow you have to check your intellect and common sense at the door to the Tard Clubhouse.

Between her entry and mine, as seen below…we’re mightily pissed off the Sparkle Cows to the point where one of them set up a sock puppet Twitter ID, _Technologysux. This charming sock puppet started tweeting David Cook and Chris Allen that 8SourCandy was a super homophobic and I was a ‘maimer’. So so stupid. like either of them gives a rats patootie about Tard Art.

I have been thinking about Adam and those silly spikes since the first time he wore them on the Idol stage. I kept thinking it looked like a wardrobe malfunction just waiting to happen. A few too many energetic head tosses and something gets speared by a spike. I’m not stating I want Madam to take a spike in the eye. It would just totally screw up his heavy eye makeup and the blood would pool in his skin craters. I’d cringe. But his costumes make me worry that this is a real possibility.

_technologysux, you want Adam maiming and Tard Art? You got it. My redoing of a few pieces of bad Madam Fan art.. Enjoy. Pity you have no sense of humor.

Onion Dome Haired Adam

Open wide and say yumm

No tards were harmed making these travesties. Direct all hate emails to IThrowHissyfits(at)Gmail(dot)com

ETA: 8SourCandy is an Adam Lambert fan but not a insano Sparkle Cow. Sorry I didn’t make that clear. 8 I miss your posts over at Top Idol. Please come back!

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14 Comments on “For Your Entertainment”

  1. Daf Says:

    LOL. This is my first visit to FDC! Hilarious 🙂

  2. deez Says:

    LMAO….you should post these in Wickedly Dark’s recap thread. The planet would explode in a mushroom cloud of moo.

  3. LMAO Says:

    Wickedlydark is an overinvested Cook fan. As if we couldn’t guess. Her tweets to him are begging him to be more hard edged blah blah blah. She does photo essays on him. ROOOOOOFLMAO. All you have to do is watch youTubes of the show to see there’s nothing wrong with Lambert’s voice. There are several. On the other hand there’s something wrong with WickedlyDark it seems. She’s accused of **** on the stupidest whiny website ever. Just google her. Willy Wonka and you’ll see the reports. She’s an animal lover. That should tell ya something right there lol. And while you’re there check out HER photo. LMFAO FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRR. I’ve never seen a more lovely lady in my life LOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLL. You worsters are like shooting fish in a barrel. So moronic. BTW you sweetheart, WD …no photos? From “a photographer”? LOL you fool.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      I edited your post because you had some inflammatory personal attacks in it and I don’t tolerate personal attacks with real names attached. If you don’t like it, too bad, this isn’t a democracy, it’s a dictatorship and I’m fucking Stalin.

      First, WD is not, has never been, will never be, a Cooktard. Fan perhaps. Tard no.
      Second, this site you mention is nothing but a board filled with whiny jerks with entitlement issues posting how their reading comprehension failed or how they expected the world on a beer budget. The large corporation I work for LAUGHS at the postings there. The site is not credible.
      Third, everyone is entitled to their opinion, not everyone is going to think Adam farts rainbows and belches sugar plums. I don’t understand how Adam fans cannot accept that not everyone thinks he’s great and it has nothing to do with homophobia. It’s personal tastes. How on earth do you get that emotionally invested in a virtual stranger?
      And finally, Adam has terrible singing technique that will eventually kill his voice. He has no breath control, no ability to inject vocal variety, no staying power. He sings like an amateur. I’ve sung for over 30 years now, everything from rock to opera and I still take lessons from an opera master. He could benefit from a few years of lessons. I’m surprised the AI coaches didn’t correct his glaring flaws. There’s a reason he cannot do more than 55 minute sets and it all goes back to improper technique.

  4. LMAO Says:

    LOLLLLLLLLLL

    USA TODAY Staff
    Brian Mansfield (35 friends, send message) wrote: 6h 54m ago
    Radio’s most-played Idols, according to Mediabase:

    CARRIE UNDERWOOD 16320
    DAUGHTRY 15109
    KELLY CLARKSON 13723
    ADAM LAMBERT 8736
    KRIS ALLEN 6403
    FANTASIA 3109
    DAVID COOK 2865

    • freedavidcook Says:

      I think it really depends on the part of the country you’re in. Here the radio stations are playing LLWD by Chris Allen twice as often as anything by Adam. Last summer many of the Florida radio stations were playing CBTM by David Cook over that song from the disaster movie 2012 done by Adam. And on Christian radio Chris Sligh is the undisputed king followed by Chris Allen, Phil Stacey, Mandisa and Melinda Doolittle.

      I don’t know exactly what you thought you were proving with your little list.

  5. nonna-muss Says:

    FDC! How’d that Sparkle Cow sneak in here?? And hey LMAO, I tried to watch one of Madam’s videos. My ears spontaneously combusted. If that screeching is what you call singing I feel sorry for you. Don’t you have anything better to do than cyber stalk Wickedly Dark? You’re scary. Go away.

  6. w.dark Says:

    LMAO! (er, I actually meant ROFL I guess) Jesus – what the hell did I miss?

    The cries of Cooktardiness kill me. I’ve been as open about liking him as I have about liking Adam. But jesus – neither of them walk on water. And I’ll have a good laugh at both of them with failed albums… because the albums fucking sucked ass!

    Also – no photos? No. No photos. I don’t have my camera attached at the hip. SOMETIMES I like to just enjoy a concert, have a beer, and soak up the atmosphere. Hard to do when you’re focused on getting pics.

    Besides – the thought of someone using my photos to squee over the glambulge just icks me out.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      It was the same old same old false ancient history that Mithra passed along to Kerry Kolsch and the Cowtards. Real name along with allegations. I edited all that out.

  7. Rachel Says:

    Fuck you.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      How erudite and classy you are, you Sparkle Cow! Obscenities are the defense of the dullard. Don’t you have a Bedazzler and a Wal Mart piece of extra large clothing to work on? Run along.

  8. 8sourcandy Says:

    Check your facts! I am NOT a Sparkle Cow. In fact, if you check with the person who submitted the definition, she will assure you I am not.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      My dear, I never called you a Sparkle Cow. I said that the Sparkle Cows are offended by your clever and appropriate photoshops. Read with meaning please.

  9. 8sourcandy Says:

    and to the cows…

    I AM A BISEXUAL WOMAN WITH TIES TO TWO GAY ORGANIZATIONS! I FUCKING MARCHED ON WASHINGTON LAST FALL!


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