Our lovely typical American Idol tard hunting for uppity skeleton bitches. I can’t wait for Mad Men to return. I almost tard for it. Less than two weeks now. I would advise any of you wasting your time watching Idol to make the switch to Mad Men, or Breaking Bad or any of the excellent original series popping up on cable networks these days. Just don’t start tarding over Jon Hamm. Mmmkay?
How about that American Idol tour, huh? Canceled dates, lackluster performances and low low low attendance. This morning looking at the coverage of the AI concert in Central Park for ABC’s Good Morning America things look dismal for Lee Dewyse and pals. Three hundred people turned up. Not very far away at Rockefeller Plaza thousands upon thousands have shown up to see Lady Gaga perform.
Somewhere in the offices of 19 Entertainment I’d bet there are confused and dismayed executives starting to realize that American Idol is done, over, kaput, dead on arrival. Would love to be a fly on the wall at the next planning meeting in their office. I can smell the panic from here. I do feel sorry for Crystal “Pigpen” Bowersox and Casey James even though I feel pretty sure both of them are going to have musical careers post-Idol. The others including Dewyze? Not very likely. This is it for them.
Look for more AI tour dates to cancel. Looking at the seating charts at my own backyard arena only a tiny fraction of tickets have sold and those are only the ones right up against the stage. 19E cannot afford to operate a huge tour machine at a loss.
Also I’ve been watching the outrage in the David Cook twitterverse this week. David attended a UFC event last week and was spotted sitting next to a beautiful woman. So the tards are speculating and twittered, spewing outrage and other nonsense about his next door seatmate when no one even knows if they were together or strangers. In the minds of his fans David is not allowed to date or screw unless it’s one of them. So idiotically middle school. I hope he got laid.
Nary a word about him attending a violent sport like MMA. Which really makes me laugh. Whenever I am home and Sven is watching UFC I tease him that the only difference between gay porn and UFC is boxing trunks and lack of lube. Could be worse, he could be attending that fake wrestling crap shown on TBS. At least MMA is a real sport.
It’s also being reported that Clay Aiken has split up from his boyfriend due to some change of relationship status on MySpace. Yawn. Are there still Clay Tards?
And the Adam Lambert juggernaut tour rolls on, selling out like I’m sure 19E wishes the AI tour would. It amuses me that his tards, the Sparkle Cows, are willing to stand in line for literally days to be the first ones to stampede through the cattle chute and be nearest to the stage for a show they are seeing again and again and again.
Isn’t it a bit like eating the same food for every meal for a month. At first it seems like heaven on earth, your favorite meal again and again but before the week is out you decide due to repetition that you hate and despise it now.
I don’t know how they can do that. Especially with the record heat wave we’ve been experiencing here on the East Coast where most of the recent venues have been. How can you wait all those hours in air officially declared to be hazardous to your health? Not to mention lack of restrooms, hygiene challenges, sweating like a hog and the mind numbing boredom of waiting for hours.
One of the funniest things about the tour is the fact that the Sparkle Cows have seized upon the idea of waving glow sticks, blue glow sticks, around whenever Adam sings the line from WWFM – ‘Thanks for loving me, you’re doing it perfectly.’ They are thinking that they are responding to his love for them and showing love back. Uh, Sparkle Cows, Adam didn’t write that line and it has nothing to do with any of you. Pink wrote it, she had none of you in mind and then Adam recorded it. If anything it’s probably a frightening reminder to Adam every time he sees glowing blue that he has the craziest most obsessional fan base of any American Idol contestant.
Oh, and old news. Constantine, The Greasy One, has managed to knock someone up. Guess he switched from butt sex finally.