Crickets, Garters and Williamsburg

So I’m hearing rumblings that at Carrie Underwood multi zillion dollar wedding in Jawja that not only did David Cook get to squeeze in some of that golfing he loves so much, he ended up catching the brides garter.

I’m assuming you know how that works, dear readers, everyone does unless they live under a rock. The groom tosses the brides garter into the crowd of bachelors and old lore says the single man that ends up with the garter will be the next one walking down the aisle to marriage.

Makes me laugh because at most of the recent weddings I’ve attended the bachelors and bachelorettes have behaved as though catching the garter or the bouquet was the worst fate in the world. Non grappling going on.

I don’t think this signifies anything with ol’ Baldy beyond some hijinks at a wedding reception. But apparently it is being discussed by his fans. Most are saying what I’ve said, that it would be nice for him to actually be able to date someone without people going nuts and certain nutball stalkers speculating and selling those speculations to the tabloids as facts.

Watching all the careful nameless discussions referencing this person and place remind me of the movie Beetlejuice. No one will utter the name because like an evil horny demon she/he/it might appear.

Yes, everyone keeps referring obliquely to Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets and her puppeteering place, David Cook Uncensored. DCU is starting to look a little like a ghost town with the exception of all of the sock puppets. Almost everyone there has figured out that Mary Ann is completely and totally bat shiat crazy demented and departed for saner places. I can hear the crickets echoing from the almost shuttered DCU from here.

You just know it has to be driving Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets into fits of rage and despair. I’m sure she’s speculating based on rumors she made up which of the gals at Model Mayhem might be the potential bride. She’s planning and spamming tripe at the chosen victim, creating rumors, selling lies and talking to herself right now. She’s just doing it all mostly alone now. A tin foil hatter muttering alone in the dark.

If I could wave around a magic wand and make things happen like the goddess I wish I was I’d make David date, publicly, without fear of losing fans, without restrictions. Starting with the day of the concert at Williamsburg’s Busch Gardens. Baldy and date on the Tilt-O-Whirl at a 100 paces with the more crazy fans turning a blind eye to any of it.

Everyone needs love. Even balding musicians. Even nutballs. Just not with each other.

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3 Comments on “Crickets, Garters and Williamsburg”

  1. Sandy Says:

    It sure has been slooooow lately at DCU. Members have become fed up with Holly/MaryAnn’s silly sockpuppet games and are jumping ship. This is just making her more and more desperate and she and her sockpuppets have been trying to pull rumors out of thin air to stir up interest in the board again. First there was the short video posted by David’s bandmate, Andy, which showed a blond woman at the table. Almost everyone thinks it looks like David’s manager but Holly and her sockpuppets keep insisting it looks like another cute, young blond who David MUST be secretly dating because he isn’t sitting next to her.

    Then Holly pulls out an old photo and tries to tell the members that it was taken at a secret “private party” in the Philippines and tries to start a rumor about the mysterious brunette in the background. But several members recognized the picture as coming from a Skechers photoshoot and try to tell her the brunette is just a model. Holly still insists her Philippine source says it was taken there until one of the members posts a photo from the same photoshoot with the same brunette model in the background that was used in advertisements.

    Next Holly posts another old photo taken in a bar that has some random blond in the background and tries to tell the members that it is Katelyn Epperly who was with David that night. Of course the blond girl looks nothing like Katelyn and it doesn’t even look like she is with David. And the photo was taken a full year before Katelyn even apppeared on Idol so it is highly unlikey she would have even met David then. But little details like that aren’t important to Holly when it comes to starting rumors.

    Now, apparently someone on twitter tried to warn the cute, young blond(who Holly insisted was in Andy’s video) about Holly’s rumor-mongering and boy is Holly irate. She is threatening to ban members right and left if they do not post within a prescribed amount of time and has enlisted her gang of sockpuppets to root out the lurking traitors on the board while she “goes out to dinner.” Of course by now just about anyone with half a brain could figure out who the sockpuppets are. It’s just that obvious. What an idiot she is!

  2. Jessie Says:

    I think we must share a brain Sandy. Couldn’t agree with you more if I tried. I go there for a good laugh. Let’s face it, if you want actual info the WNH and DCO are much better. It kills me how some of these women actually believe they are somehow superior because they only visit DCU. They actually believe that it’s ok to put up pictures of women who may? have had some contact with Dave and then go on to follow them on twitter and discuss and disect them ad nauseum. I wonder how they’d feel if some board had their pictures up and were discussing their lives. My guess is they’d be pissed and all self righteous like “how dare they do that”. I’m actually disappointed in some of the regulars whose posts I quite enjoy. They’re all on there posting to make sure they don’t get banned and kissing Holly’s ass.

    As for the sockpuppets, there are so many of them I’ve lost count. There are over 700 members who have never visited the board. I figure they must all be sockpuppets because who would go to the trouble to join a board and not visit even once. All the sockpuppets are in their mid 20’s, but the average age of most regular posters is definitely mid 40’s. Holly used to claim to be 26, but I’ve noticed now that she’s taken away her age completely. Two of the most vicious sockpuppets Diane and Sharon say nasty things to other posters and yet never get told off. Of course if someone disagrees with one of them, then Holly swoops in and slaps the disagreeing poster down. So much for uncensored. Lately I’ve noticed some of Holly’s posts are getting nasty. I guess she’s having trouble separating her sockpuppet personalities. There are still members that believe everything shes say though. Not exactly the sharpest tools in the shed. Within weeks of joining, I knew something was off. It’s just so obvious. How they don’t see it is beyond me.

    • Sandy Says:

      Hi Jessie,

      The thing she does with the sockpuppets IS so obvious. I didn’t take me long to figure out what she was doing. She has probably made up hundreds and hundreds of fake accounts. A while back she was bragging about how the board was “growing” every day. Well, a lot of that was her creating fake members to inflate her membership totals in an attemp to make people think the board is more popular and busy than it really is. It’s so obvious when many never even log on or are just brought in on occasion to back her up and there are probably less than a few hundred active members. And despite the fact that she keeps threatening to ban lurkers who never post because she thinks they are spies, she never bans the hundreds who have never logged in or posted. She just brings them out every now and then to say how great she and the board are when she feels under attack or when she needs some new voices to start or support her rumors.

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