First American Idol Sex Tape!

Ladies and Gents we have our first AI contestant sex tape and nope, I’m not talking about whatever it was Frenchie was doing that disqualified her from the contest.

I expected this with gleeful anticipatory schadenfreude for a long time now. I just never thought it would be this Idol.

Top contender in the Idol sex tape was Constantine Maroulis, walking oral fungus of the greasy hair, tic tac dick, discriminatory fucking of various wenches and possible STD carrier. Only thing is I’m not sure one itty bitty tape or DVD could contain his over-inflated head. His ego would leave no room for Mini Maroulis aka Tic Tac Dick.

Or some very fuzzy camera phone video of some young buck, like Lambert or whoever, getting some chemically inebriated action while being secretly recorded. But not this…

According to Gossip Cop it’s Fantasia that’s on the verge of having her sex tape outed. Apparently the married man she’s knocking boots with is so exceptionally skilled in the bedroom arts she feels the need to record it all. You go girl, that’s bound to be the good good stuff.

Unfortunately this guy’s wife knows about the sex tapes and has referenced them in the divorce proceedings. Not so good.

So how did Baldy do tonight? He’s tweeting about Arnold Palmer’s for dehydration. Doesn’t the dumbass realize you have to drink water out in the summertime?

Anyone there care to tell me what went down with the Busch Gardens show? I could use a recap for this joint. Contact me at ithrowhissyfits(at)gmail(dot)com

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