Attention David Cooktards!

You guys are falling down upon the job of tarding. Adam ‘Madam’ Lambert’s Sparkle Cows are talking about raising the money to buy Madam his dream car, a Maserati. David ‘Baldy’ Cook twittered his dream car the other night. The Batmobile. Specifically the 1966 Batmobile. Says it’s on his Xmas list.

I may cry this is so beautiful. Mom, this is officially on my Xmas list. http://www.uncrate.com/men/cars/concept/1966-batmobile/

So… why aren’t you guys trying to hold bake sales, raffles and contributions for Baldy to have this in his Christmas stocking? You’re letting another Tard pack out-tard you guys! Where’s Mary Ann when you need her?

Actually this sounds like old Baldy is poking fun at Madam and the Sparkle Cows. I doubt he wants his tards to buy him a Batmobile. But it would be funny if they did.

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7 Comments on “Attention David Cooktards!”

  1. Natasha Says:

    Oh, the Cooktards are out in full force, no worries. Here’s a TwitLonger from one of them:

    1. David is the most photogenic, gorgeous, masculine, thudacious male on this earth!
    2. David is the man of my dreams, 5’11” of magnetic hormonal upheaval. Too bad I am decades older but his
    agelessness makes me feel nearly 28. Talk about turned on? How’s about turned on for over 2 years? Just let me have his right leg….
    3. No one sings better than David, past, present or future, NOBODY! Nobody has better stage presence than
    David, not even Bon Jovi…and no band has a better drummer than Kyle…uh uh…no way.
    4. I love every hair on David’s head, all the different styles, colors, his hair ROCKS! zTHUD
    5. He will hopefully go double platinum with what he is working on now! I totally believe in him, have confidence in him, and will probably need a paramedic when his new album comes out because I will be knocked out cold from such BLISS, his voice, the music, eargasms…..have to call 911 hee hee.
    6. RCA really listens to David, they KNOW how valuable he is, besides the fact that he is brilliant.
    7. RCA tells David what to do, he responds with his wonderful personality and they work things out! RCA is in the palm of his left hand!
    8. OK, let’s do some more lips, legs, smile, face!

    • on the edge Says:

      And this is from a middle-aged gay man…talking like a squealing tween.

      WeHoScott has the same delusion as the Sparkle Cows…”Once Adam/David meets me, he’ll automatically turn straight/gay for MEEEE…”

      • nonna-muss Says:

        That was from Scott? Bwahahahaha. He’s got to creep Cook the hell out. NOT because he’s gay, no way because of that. He’s just an effing FREAK. If it was a woman of any age that acted the way he does I’d say the same. No wonder Cook prefers to stay home and watch TV! Look who his neighbors are!

  2. songkat Says:

    This must be a fill-in-the-blank game they’re doing, I’ve seen a few versions of this today. They must really be bored.*eyeroll*

  3. Natasha Says:

    Actually the tweet is not from Scott. It is from one of Cook’s fanatic older-than-cougar aged female fans. I love the statement that RCA is in the palm of his hand and listens to him because they know how valuable he is to them and he is brilliant.

    I want what she’s drinking.

  4. freedavidcook Says:

    She needs to give me a swig or twenty too. I need a vacation from reality.

  5. Kory Says:

    If David Cook wants a 1966 Batmobile replica Mark Towle is his man at gotham garage give me a call (605)254-5259 my name is Kory or email gothamgarage@gmail.com Call me Dave


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