Archive for October 2010

Spanx Anyone?

October 30, 2010

I haven’t been paying attention to any of the American Idol fan drama and I’m out of the loop on the probable killer Daughtry tard Elisa Baker too. I’ve had my fill of Idol like others that write about it. I have a life, family and career too. That was until I glimpsed the glamping gif at Top Idol. Take a look and tell me what lurks between the lo rider pants and flimy shirt. What do you see?

Madam Lamebert, errr, Adam Lambert, seems to be sporting a pair of fat girl support girdle situation like Spanx with his black lo-riders. I wondered how he could be touring and eating the zillion calorie food without appearing to plump up like a cooked Ballpark frank. He has a tendency to, uh, um, how do I say this nicely so it’s not perceived as an attack by the Sparkle Cows, become fluffy or Butterball up?

Lambert’s weight seems to fluctuate wildly sometimes. So it seems like he’s taking the William Shatner approach. Man-girdled up like a burrito wrapped extra tight.

Adam FINALLY Does The Right Thing

October 18, 2010

So Madam just tweeted that he did a It Gets Better video. About. Freaking. Time.

One of the things that is so incredibly frustrating about him and his Sparkle Cows is how they howl about gay rights but where the chicken meets the dirt there’s zero action. He could use his voice, as many gay and straight celebs have, to bring attention to the problems of LGBT teens being bullied into suicide but until today he’s been silent.

Too bad the Cows aren’t going to follow his lead and make any sort of real action in the name of gay rights. They’d rather sit around on the internets and bitch that the reason he’s not more famous is because everyone is a homophobe. Hypocritical blowhards.

Update #1 Elisa Baker Chris Daughtry Tard

October 17, 2010

Every couple of days as new details emerge in this case I’ll update with the latest information available on Chris Daughtry tard/possible stalker and probable child murderer Elisa Baker. I’ve Googled without probable cause extensively running as many names combination as possible trying to find her old Chris Daughtry tarding and drooling without any success. I did find one Daughtry tard in that area but the photos don’t match. That’s not to say it’s not her using someone else picture.

They still haven’t found the body of Zahra Clare Baker yet, not with all the cadaver dogs and technology of modern criminal investigation. Wood chip piles searched, ponds drained, bags of evidence along with mattresses from the family home and no body yet. I think this is because this is a semi-clever Tard the police are dealing with. She actually thought she’d get away with it, planned the crime and went for it.

The father has to be the most pussy-whipped man on the planet to be a) covering for his wife and b) being uncooperative with the cop shop. I hope when law enforcement finishes their investigation that they put both of the Bakers under the jail house. They make me sick.

Zahra spotted at furniture store three weeks ago. From The Australian

Money & legal troubles follow Zahra’s parents. Apparently they paid nothing they owed anyone and liked to threaten people – From The Hickory Daily Record

No record of Zahra being home schooled – The Hickory Daily Record

Who is Elisa Baker? – lots of background information on Elisa Baker, things like screen names, married names, kids, etc. Someone did an exhaustive search but failed to turn up the Chris Daughtry angle – From

ETA: Elisa’s MySpace has been removed by MySpace admin. She was ‘gothfairy6668’ there. There’s nothing there now. If anyone has any idea what or who she used to post as at the Daughtry boards please email me at ithrowhissyfits(at)gmail(dot)com. There is someone going by the name of ‘Elisa’ that is a North Carolina Daughtry Tard on YouTube but the photo doesn’t really look like her. What do you think?

ETA @ 5:30 EST

Zahra kept in attic according to former neighbors – From Prime Writer News Network

Zahra’s disappearance highlights troubles in the flawed NC CPS – Charlotte Observer

New timeline in the disappearance of Zahra From The Hickory Daily Record

Sparkle Cows, AMAs and Homophobia

October 14, 2010

The AMAs announced their lineup of acts and the nominations for the 2010 American Music Awards and the Cows are LIVID! Not only is Adam Lambert not appearing in this years lineup of talent, he’s not even nominated for a single thing.

The Sparkle Cows are upset because people like Ke$ha, Katy Perry, Justin Bieber and others are involved while Madam is being completely ignored. Let’s examine this shall we?

Last year Adam had his first post-Idol appearance on the AMAs and proceeded to grind out a very unprofessional and repellent performance. A whole lotta shrieky face humping crotch fingering dancing like a fat kid on crack falling down making out with another musician followed by flipping birds at the audience. Surly amateur hour. The network was pissed off by the complaints and no one was impressed except the hard core Cows. Enormous flop and his attitude ensured he’d not return to the AMAs.

Who can blame the production staff and management of the AMAs? No one wants to take a chance on a loose cannon that will not do on live television what had been worked out in rehearsal. No one wants an FCC fine.

The figures for “For Your Entertainment” weren’t impressive either, meaning there’s not much chance that the AMA people would give him any awards. Units sold and industry buzz usually factors strong in how they determine who’s nominated. Between the bad performance and the middling sales there’s no reason to have Adam anywhere on the AMAs again.

So what is the reason the Cows are claiming that Madam isn’t getting any AMA love? They are claiming, yet again, that it’s because of homophobia. You know.. that cause so near and dear to their hearts that they ignore it when it comes to voting on ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ or fighting for the rights of anyone else in the LGBT community like those kids that were bullied till they killed themselves. If it involves their Glittery One, then it’s homophobia in their world. Some poor kid being called a faggot by his school mates? Not so much in Sparkle Cowlandia. Cow logic is a twisted thing.

In that regards they share with they Idol Madam. He’s not much of a gay rights crusader either. People like Ellen and other celebs, gay and straight, were pleading for understanding, peace and acceptance of LGBT peoples during this last wave of bullied gays committing suicide. Adam didn’t comment, mention it, say a word. Very strange.


Lamebert’s off in Asia playing right now, where he was forced to tone down his act for Malaysia so as not to offend the local sensibilities. At least he cooperated this time, unlike at the AMAs last year.

I hear he’s playing nightclubs in Australia that hold no more than a 1,000 people. Such international sucksess!

Elisa Baker: Lying Daughtry Tard & Suspected Murderer

October 13, 2010

Today’s updates on this horrifying case involving an emotionally overinvested Chris Daughtry fantard.

Looks like police think she ran Zahra through the company woodchipper of her husband. According to CBS police cadaver dogs hit on the woodchipper and some brush and wood chip piles. Baker must have watched ‘Fargo’ a few too many times.

Further background on the family from the Australian press at

Elisa Baker due in court momentarily says CBS Greenville NC

A look at Elise Baker’s MySpace page from The Daily Mail in the UK. Just wait till they trace all her Chris Daughtry fantardery online.

…and there’s a million more articles but none with any real news. No one seems to know what happened to Zahra’s birth mother and only a few outlets are reporting that Elisa Baker used to make grandiose claims of writing music for Daughtry. If she was running around bragging in real life about her delusions of working with Daughtry there’s just no telling what type of internut bat-you-know-whattery she was involved in on the Chris Daughtry message boards.

It is looking increasingly likely that this crazy, mean as a twitched mule, tard cruelly killed her stepdaughter and that Dad covered it up. Makes me sick.

A Tard Snaps & Kills (Maybe)

October 12, 2010

Interestingly enough someone from the Chris Daughtry tard pack has established herself as the most demented liar. She also proves my theory that living in that type of obsession does weird things to your sense of moral values, messes with your mind and makes you possibly dangerous to those around you.

Meet Daughtry Tard Elisa Baker – She’s already admitted to writing the phony ransom note and the cops think this is a murder even if no body has been discovered. ETA @ 11:55 – More info at ABC News

The sickest thing is the person she possibly murdered is a defenseless disabled child, her step daughter.

She’s obviously up to her eyeballs involved in whatever happened to her step daughter Zahra.

HICKORY, N.C. – Investigators cast doubt Monday on accounts given by the father and stepmother of a missing 10-year-old whose battles with bone cancer left her with a prosthetic leg and hearing aids in both ears.

A search warrant revealed Monday that police dogs had detected the smell of human remains on cars belonging to the couple. Hours earlier, the police chief said investigators were having trouble finding anyone outside the household who had seen Zahra Clare Baker alive in the last few weeks.

The warrant filed in a Hickory court didn’t indicate that police found any remains in their search Sunday. It said the dogs detected the smell on a sedan and SUV.

The couple had told police they discovered the girl was missing on Saturday and that one of them had seen her sleeping in her room hours earlier. Yet Hickory Police Chief Tom Adkins said investigators were having difficulty with that account.

“We don’t know the last time anyone saw her,” he said an afternoon news conference. “We’re having a difficult time establishing a true timeline.”

When the search warrant was filed hours later, police declined to comment further but said Adkins would issue a statement Tuesday morning.

Zahra’s father, Adam Baker, said during a morning TV interview that it was possible his wife could be involved in the disappearance, which was reported after a fire in the home’s yard. Elisa Baker was arrested Sunday on about a dozen charges unrelated to the girl’s disappearance.

Adkins said the father was cooperating with police, but Elisa Baker wasn’t.

A reporter saw what appeared to be remnants of clothes among burned branches from the fire at the house.

The search warrant said that police responding to the fire early Saturday found what appeared to be a ransom note addressed to Adam Baker’s boss on the windshield of Baker’s car. Police went to that man’s house, and found him and his daughter to be fine.

“Mr. Coffey, you like being in control now who is in control we have your daughter,” the warrant quoted the note as saying. It asked for $1 million dollars and said “no cops.”

On Saturday afternoon, Adam Baker called to say his daughter was missing.

Zahra was described by family friends as shy but constantly smiling, in spite of her health problems. The stepmother could be short-tempered toward her, two former neighbors said, but the woman also fought tears when a charity fitted her for hearing aids a few months ago.

“I just hope I can get my daughter back. I miss her so much,” Zahra’s father, Adam Baker, told ABC’s “Good Morning America” on Monday.

The girl’s stepmother told her husband she last saw Zahra sleeping in her bed at 2:30 a.m. Saturday, about 2 1/2 hours before the fire was reported. Adam Baker said he was panicked after the fire, but didn’t immediately check on his daughter.

The police chief said he wouldn’t rule out any suspects, including Adam Baker.

Adam Baker was asked if he thought his wife was involved and said, “I wouldn’t like to think so. On what I’ve heard so far, it could be possible.”

On Monday, several of Adam Baker’s friends stood outside his one-story house in Hickory, a city of 40,000 residents about 50 miles northwest of Charlotte.

“I just don’t have a good feeling about this,” said former neighbor Kayla Rotenberry. “She was such a sweet girl. This is just a nightmare.”

Rotenberry said she and her fiance were good friends with the Bakers when they lived in the nearby town of Sawmills, and saw Zahra often. The couple was skeptical of the girl’s stepmother, in part because she claimed to write songs for musician and “American Idol” finalist Chris Daughtry, and told other far-fetched stories, Rotenberry said. Daughtry’s manager said he was unaware of any connection between Elisa Baker and the singer.

“We just got to the point where we didn’t believe her. We knew they were lies,” said Rotenberry, 23.

The stepmother also had a short temper, Rotenberry said.

Rotenberry said about six months ago she noticed that Elisa Baker’s hand was swollen. “She told me that she was trying to spank Zahra, but hit her on her prosthetic leg,” she said. “When Adam asked her about the injury, she said she fell and hurt her hand. She didn’t want him to know. She knew he would be mad.”

Another former neighbor, Brandy Stapleton, 22, of Lenoir, said that Elisa Baker told her the same story about how she injured her hand. “She wasn’t the person everyone thought she was.”

Adam Baker was from Australia, and met his current wife over the Internet, Stapleton said. Zahra’s mother lives outside the U.S.

Zahra had two hearing aids, which were left at the house, and a prosthetic left leg from the knee down, police said. She was being home-schooled, but had attended public schools in the past.

The child had lost part of her hearing during chemotherapy for two bouts of cancer, her stepmother told the Independent-Tribune of Concord-Kannapolis in May during a charity event where she got free hearing aids.

Family friends said the girl also had the prosthetic leg because of cancer.

Elisa Baker was arrested Sunday on charges including communicating threats, writing worthless checks, larceny and driving with a revoked license. It was unclear whether she has an attorney.

She has two daughters and a son from a previous marriage. The mother and son don’t have much of a relationship, the man said, after he stayed with his father when they divorced. The daughters went to live with their mother.

Still, 22-year-old Douglas Proctor said he had spoken to investigators about his mother and was dismayed over news of the case.

“It’s not something that you want to open up a paper and see,” he said, adding he’d met Zahra only once.

Okay, so being a fan doesn’t automatically make you mentally demented but years upon years of obsessing just might.

ETA @ 12:05 am I’m going to keep adding links as I find them with new info on this case since it involves the craziest of the stalker chicks.

CNN Nancy Grace video 10/12/2010

Glamberts Panty-Twisting A-Go-Go

October 6, 2010

So now we’re descending deeper into the quagmire of weirdness that is post-tour American Idol later in the fall. Nearly 18 months has passed since Adam Lambert came into second place and thousands of Sparkle Cows came in their panties. That’s a long time to be in a fever pitch of excitement. Once the tour ends and the infighting begins the subjects that pop up get really really weird.

I’d been meaning to write about the Glamberts for a few days now but I had to force myself. I am suffering from Glam-fatigue. I keep hoping I will wake up to find out that the Cows and their Glittery toolish God have been instantaneously teleported to Jupiter or some equally remote place. No such luck.

Let’s look at the topics of stupidity among the hard core Glitter-Grannies.

Terrorism Travel Woes – So the herd has been worrying and whispering about Madam being a TARGET for terror in Japan and other places. Yeah, like the Taliban is going to avoid blowing up real targets, like military bases, strategic supplies and population centers so they can kill a pop star. A baddddddd pop star!

Also, there has never been a terrorism alert issued for Japan or the Philippines and other places Madam is soon to play. I suggest you Sparkle Cows take a world geography class or three at your local college. The last time I looked at the globe Japan was a lonnnnnng way from Europe and other places identified as possible terrorist targets. The list of places that the US State Dept has listed can be found here. Take a valium or some dandy electroshock therapy.

Kris Allen has a new single – This is just so silly that they are losing it over this. Allen did, you know, win the competition. He is the American Idol. He’s going to release records every now and again. Sour grapes.

Eau Du Madam – Some tards are spending pages and pages waxing poetical about how Madam must smell like sunshine and puppies and unicorns dipped in chocolate. It’s hella creepy and very over the top. You don’t talk about other peoples smells, unless you’re gently suggesting someone needs deodorant. This is just wrong. But funny. Thanks for the laughs Cows.

Madam in Bali with his Twink Dancer Boyfriend – Mysterioso Man is right about one thing, Madam loves his Twinkies, errr, Twinks.

So this is going to increase tourism to Bali, according to the herd. They obviously have no clue that Bali is already a huge tourist trap with most of its revenue coming from tourism. Neither Adam or Julia Roberts and her crappy movie, “Eat. Love. Pray” (and dump your husband for no reason and bang other guys in exotic locales) will influence anyone but some dumb middle aged middle class Dora Dumbbells to fly to Bali and pay triple what everything really costs.

Drum roll please, today’s funny idiocy from the Sparkle Cows…..

Pink is Jealous of Adam! – Pink announced that she’s releasing a Greatest Hits CD soon and one of the tracks will be “Whatta You Want From Me”. The Cows are mooing that Pink has NO RIGHT to do this even if she is the one that wrote the song and kindly agreed to allow Madam to record it. They consider it only Madam’s hit, not Pink’s.

Listen for yourself and tell me who does it better?
Madam –

Pink –

Cows, it’s ridiculous for you guys to take any type of offense because, dur-de-dur (ala Carlos Mencia), she WROTE the damn thing. It’s HER song to do whatever she wants with. Just be grateful she didn’t sell it to some advertising agency to hawk hemorrhoid cream or athletes foot spray after she allowed Madam to record it. Adam is not worthy to kiss her foot. She’s an artist, he’s a karaoke star who copies other artists inflection by inflection in a shameless manner.

You idiots just keep it up. I need the laughs and I love that you lot are completely killing his career day by day.