Archive for November 2010

Idoling

November 30, 2010

I’ve been trolling around the internets today reading all the Idol gossip while I wait for this migraine to pass. Lots happening today even if none seems to have stirred up the hornet’s nest of fandom.

News OK reminds us that this is Clay Aiken’s 43, err, 32nd birthday as well as providing some amusing Dead Wife Douchebag Danny Gokey quotes. He’s claiming to be the reason that Idol went back to the well, trekked back to Milwaukee this summer for auditions. Whatever dude. Just don’t make me look at your horrible scary nightmaresque Christmas album cover.

TOO LATE!

Oh dear Gawd this must be what Christmas in hell wearing an old diaper around your neck is like. Just looking at that picture is enough to evoke the Christmas Clap. By the blood of Jayzuz depart!

Kara Shit-For-Brains DioGuardi is writing a vapid tell-all that will spill the beans on American Idol it was announced today. Having endured two seasons of DioGuardi’s silly inarticulate nonsense I imagine a ghost writer will be writing this tell-all. If Kara did it herself it would be leaflet sized and largely gibberish. (Note to L. Anne Carrington, this is the way you get crap writing published, achieve some fleeting fame and exploit it. Just don’t steal it or flog it on a million different sites)

Examiner.com is reporting that He Who Shall Not Be Mentioned will be jetting back to Gay Paree for some R&R. Their source is, get this, a message board where the Herd That Shall Not Be Mentioned hangs out. Some mighty flimsy sourcing.

TV Latest is claiming that they have the spoilers for the format for this year’s American Idol. It’s too little too late I think. Idol was a creature of it’s time and now that time seems to be over. There’s sagging ratings, view disinterest, a familiarity that seemed to be contempt as well as a declining quality of contestants. Lots of factors killing it. Changing the format is merely a band-aid on a corpse.

There’s a rumor going around
that Glee’s Charice and David Archuletta are a romantic pairing but so far Charice is denying it. If true then it would prove that Archuletta isn’t the boy-child mental defective that many thought.

Ryan Seacrest might be the only smart one connected to the show still left. He reportedly signed a 60 million dollar radio deal with Clear Channel communications.

Lee Dewyse – Fail Whale

November 27, 2010

There was an interesting article a few days ago at Yahoo Music about how merely winning ‘American Idol’ is no longer a guarantee to stardom or even financial success.

Take, for example, this year’s winner, Lee Dewyse. His official first CD was released and so far the sales have been mega awful compared to every other Idol. He only sold about 40,000 of his new CD “Live It Up” in the first week and it entered the charts at #19. Piss poor for an Idol. Piss poor even compared to He Who Cannot Be Named. Clarkson sold millions straight out of the gate.

According to the statistics Carrie Underwood is the Golden Idol. She’s been far and away the most successful and commercially accepted than the others.

Looks like Taylor Hicks was the most disrespected Idol by 19E and the industry. I guess that explains partially why he’s with a touring company with a old dog eared former Broadway show singing his one song. Doesn’t get any respect.

This quote about David ‘Baldy’ Cook made me laugh out loud because I think it sums up the frustration in Cooktardlandia.

-He’s taking way too long to record his next album; in an age of short attention spans and declining “Idol” interest, will people still care by the time he follows up David Cook next year? Let’s hope so.

I had no idea Kris ‘Who’ Allen even rated enough to be on Forbes Top Ten Idol earners list. But apparently his songwriting abilities have earned him serious bread this year. I know the local Christian stations around here played “Live Like We’re Dying” all the damn time.

He’s on the Forbes list of top 10 Idol earners, mainly due to his many songwriting credits and widely aired Ford commercial. (Readers may be surprised to learn Kris had out-earned his supposed rival Adam Lambert as of May 2010, when the Forbes list was released.)

Dewyse’s tanking makes me wonder if America just has American Idol fatigue and just does not care any longer. Only this upcoming season will tell.

Thanksgiving Came Early?

November 22, 2010

I hardly know where to start this morning there’s been so much happening in the last day in crazy fan land. It’s like a fully cooked stuffed Butterball with all the sides and trimmings magically appeared on my dining room table!

First, there’s ugly ugly infighting over in Cooktard land over the ‘official’ photo of the MWK tweeted by Neal Tiemann’s girlfriend Kira Von Sutra. The tards have been attacking her and others because, get this, the photo didn’t include Baldy too. Another group of tards fought with the attacking tards and Kira tweeted her real friends to watch the freaks fight while they laughed. Reading the tweet feeds as this was going down was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

So now there is freakout in tard land over that MWK gig in late December because many have bought gig tickets, plane tickets and hotel rooms instead of figgy pudding or Red Ryder Air Rifles for their children. They are afraid now that David is going to be a ‘no show’ for that date. Life’s a bitch and airlines don’t exactly issue full refunds.

Yesterday was the anniversary of You-Know-Whos career serious suicide. Last night I watched Pink dance and sing all over a set that seemed very much like the one he stumbled and shrieked over last year at the AMAs. She’s pregnant and wearing high heels and still nailed it. I just wish she would have done ‘What Do You Want From Me’ instead of ‘Raise Your Glass’

Last night (at the same time) was E! Networks True Hollywood Story premiere of He Who May Not Be Mentioned story. The most revealing bit of a largely uninteresting hour was when he laughed over the Arkansas Conspiracy pushed by one Kerry Kolsch. A journo asked about the AT&T/Arkansas thing and he replied “I heard about the conspiracy theory and I just laughed.”

Apparently he’s under fire right now for smoking dope on stage in Amsterdam while doing the Jimi Hendrix song “Purple Haze” The song choice is questionable considering Jimi’s family is extremely anti-drug, but hey, he’s in Amsterdam, where it’s legal. Light up, err, lighten up.

The absolute hysterical thing about it is that the Herd Who May Not Be Mentioned are rushing around everywhere that’s criticizing He Who May Not Be Mentioned and going nuts in their usual way and spamming all the reasons why it was a-okay for him to do that. Always fun to watch them. Dopey yet predictable.

ETA: according to tweets by loonies and a tweet by Neal Tiemann it’s not MWK playing, it’s Andy Skib’s pet project To Have Heros (I think?) playing. The usual pack of idiots is busy licking Neal’s ass today and sucking up.

http://twitter.com/#!/nealfingtiemann

Taylor Hicks On Teevee

November 21, 2010

Looks like Taylor Hicks is reduced to doing one of those ridiculous celebrity clip shows if what I saw on Biography Channel tonight was correct. Tay-Tay will be featured on ‘Celebrity Ghost Stories’ on Dec. 4th telling about the time he was sleeping at a pals home in Savannah and got creeped out in the middle of the night. It was either a ghost or a midnight burrito gas attack, who can tell with these things. I guess none of those celebs on the show ever heard of infrastructure sound.

I guess any televised publicity is good.

Does Taylor still have tards or did they all die off?

Sarah Palin & American Idol

November 19, 2010

Open mouth and insert Manolo-clad foot. Who’s chewing on her shoes? Sarah Palin, you know her, daughter knocked up in high school, ran for Veep, was a half-assed governor of Alaska for half a term, claims to see Russia from her house, doesn’t believe in global warming, darling of Fox News, dumb as a box of retarded rocks, couldn’t tell an interviewer which magazines & newspapers she read, ad infinitum… I don’t have enough room to list all the silly things she’s done since arriving on the world political stage.

Palin describing the size of Levi Johnson's Johnson

Sarah Palin, who’s daughter Bristol is currently on a reality talent show for dancing “Dancing With The Stars”, bashed American Idol and all it’s sad sack and winner contestants in her upcoming book. “America By Heart” is the name of this tome. I am wondering if it’s a coloring book?

Here’s what she said about AI according to AOL News and other news outlets (with the exception of Fox) –

Bristol Palin has been featured on ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars,” but Sarah Palin has a few words for Fox’s “American Idol.” She refers to “talent-deprived” contestants who suffer from “the cult of self-esteem.”

“No one they have encountered in their lives – from their parents to their teachers to their president – wanted them to feel bad by hearing the truth,” she writes. “So they grew up convinced that they could become big pop stars like Michael Jackson.”

Pot please meet Miss Kettle.

The funny thing about this is that word got out to David “Baldy” Cook and he tweeted asking his tards to ‘splain’ it all to him. I hope it makes him laugh as hard as it did me when I first heard of Palin bashing Idol. I think it’s safe to say she wouldn’t have been getting Cook’s vote anyway. Nor he who shall not be named’s vote either. She’s pissed away all the AI fan bases votes too. Way to go Sarah.

I adore her hypocrisy! It’s hysterical! Does she think that Bristol would still be on a competitive dance show if Bristol were not the daughter of someone infamous?

Also find it great that Vote For The Worst has kept Miss Bristol on the show along with the Tea Partiers and Right Wing Nut Jobs that elected Sarah governor in the first place. Good job everyone!

David Cook: Dissed by Peppermint Patty

November 18, 2010

I think Baldy’s 15 minutes of fame are starting to wind down.

Today his fans decided to jam twitter with 2nd anniversary messages in commemoration of his album release. They are still waiting for album numero dos without any end in sight. The goal was to get David Cook on the trending subjects list at Twitter. They failed.

Peppermint Patty from ‘Peanuts’ comics was trending today on Twitter. Cook, not so much.

He’s been teasing his hard core frauen by twittering he was flying or in a hotel room but offering zero clue as to where or why. It’s driving them round the bend trying to figure out the clues. Personally I think he is screwing with them for fun. I hope so.

It’s On!

November 10, 2010

I’ve been watching the American Idol news and there’s just not much happening. I was very amused by Kid Rock saying that Steven Tyler must be nuts to pee on the sacred institution of Rock and Roll by being an Idol judge. Scroll down the page at The Hollywood Reporter for the exact quote by Kid Rock

Sort of have to agree with Kid, but my fears are different. If Idol had an obviously less than sober Paula Abdul how is Steven going to get through this without chemical inducements? Being an Idol judge is enough to send the most sober of individuals into the arms of chemical intoxicants. Should be interesting at least to watch how he does on the show. Maybe that fall off the stage did some permanent damage?

Answering back Kid Rock’s comments Steven trotted out that same lame old excuse people use to justify all sorts of dumb crap, “U R just a jellus-hater” Riiiggght! His remarks at USA Today.

And btw I will never mention a certain Idol also-ran again. The kindest thing I can do is make like the mainstream media and put him and his on auto-ignore. Too bad because some of his music is on my Ipod in my workout dance grooves.