Divine Punishment of Arkansas?

We all know that The Glittery One’s most unusual defender/conspiracy theorist Kerry Kolsch has no love for Arkansas due to her belief that there was a state-wide conspiracy to give local hero Kris Allen the win above all else. We’ve all heard Kerry rant, rave and wear her tin foil hat while screaming about Arkansas and Chic-Fil-La. But what does God have against Arkansas to open such a huge can of whoop-ass against the residents?

I was traveling back from Louisiana when I heard that first freak winter tornadoes had laid waste to swaths of the Arkanian countryside, killing folks and upwards of 50,000 poor chickens. This was quickly followed by blackbirds by the thousands falling dead from the sky and fish going belly up. No one knows why any of this is unfolding in a matter of hours in Kris Allen’s home state but it’s freaking me out. Now it’s starting to happen in my home state of Louisiana.

Did Kerry get a Voodoyenne to put a curse on all of Arkansas for conspiring with AT&T, Chic Fil La and a cast of others to make sure Adam Lambert didn’t win? I like to read various conspiracy theories for fun but I’ve always thought hers was a bit too out there. It’s just a tv contest, not the fate of the world hanging in the balance.

Yes, yes, Kerry, We’ll crown your Idol king if you just call off the Silence Of The Chickens curse. Purty please?

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8 Comments on “Divine Punishment of Arkansas?”

  1. B York Says:

    Pretty creepy stuff. I read somewhere that 500 blackbirds met a similar fate in Louisiana.

  2. Rubber Ducky Says:

    I’d like to know just exactly where Ms “I Am Not A Real Lawyer” Kolsch was at the time of the deaths.

    • KmKolsch Says:

      Hate to break it to you Rubber Ducky but I am a real lawyer. Go check the Florida Bar. As for where I was at the time of the birds deaths? That would be the high limit room at Hard Rock in Hollywood Fl. I would never voodoo up the killing of innocent birds or fish. God must have an issue with Arkansas, but thank you for thinking I am so all powerful.

      • freedavidcook Says:

        Uhhh, it was meant in a tongue in cheek playful way, not seriously at all. No one is that all powerful.

      • nerdgirl Says:

        No one is that powerful, except for Kris Allen. Kris Allen is so powerful that he can defeat anybody and change the course of history!

      • Rubber Ducky Says:

        Kris Allen is Second to None! He came first, afterall 😉

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