Archive for March 2011

Adam Lambert – Lady Gaga Tard

March 31, 2011

For once I’m not writing about some ridiculous Sparkle Cow or Cooktard. It seems according to Perez Hilton and reported in US Magazine that Madam Lambert crashed Lady Gaga’s birthday bash and behaved worse than most of his move over the top fans. He was super drunk, screaming, jumping on tables, knocked a hole in the ceiling, etc, in general acting like a foolishly drunken tool. Gaga asked security to remove him. They did. Ha.

The funny thing is the comments by his tards. They are busy busy busy, busier than Kerry Kolsch with a computer and secret files on AT&T and that chicken joint that hires underage fundamentalist home skoolers to work unmercifully. They are seeking ways to excuse his behavior.

Sure, folks get super drunk all the time. But most of us don’t crash parties and piss off our betters. Adam sure seems to like his chemical intoxicants.

Unchained Melody? Bitch Please!

March 30, 2011

Looks like the potential for an idiot fan war is supah high right now. Too bad it’s not the Cooktards and the Sparkle Cows squaring off. That I’d pay to see.

Nope, it’s the internut rumble will be between the fans of Constantine “Greasy-skeavy butt-sexing-teenagers” Maroulis and Clay “Oops I ruined my face” Aiken. Turns out that on Clay’s last cd he recorded ‘Unchained Melody’ and now Constantscum has done the same thing. Cons fans are expecting him to sing it on ‘American Idol” this week.

Right now it’s only a few fans that have realized that Constantine has recorded the same song as Clay and are grumbling about it but expect it to turn into a full fledged stupids rumble if Conny sings it on this weeks AI. The explosion in Clayland will be epic as they rush forward to attack Contards by proclaiming that the song belongs only to Clay from now on. Waves upon waves of stupid.

Speaking of stupid, I’ve been watching the fall-out and comments on the People magazine article of Constantscum and his bambino. The whole nasty gang has been at it, Studiolady (cough, cough, usually an L. Anne pseudonym or Debbie), Judyes (she who once street-teamed a parrot) and a host of other familiar names. The comments are worth the uncomfortableness of the pictures of Constantine whoring out an innocent child for publicity – People Magazine.

The baby’s Momma, pretty Angel Reed, has started a blog with some very nice photos of the baby and herself too as well – Angel Reed’s blog. Proud momma and beautiful pictures of the baby. What makes the blog both wince-worthy and comical at the same time is that Constantine’s same fans that were busy bashing momma during the pregnancy and afterward, are busy signing up as followers and kissing Angel’s derriere right now. I predict the moment she says something on the blog they dislike they will turn on her like a pack of ravenous piranhas on an innocent lamb that wandered into the water.

I wish Angel and Malena well and to stay far far away from the insano Contards like Little Skatertard and others just as nutty.

Sell Out?

March 22, 2011

Someone brought up an interesting idea in the comments. Has David “Unbaldy” Cook sold out recently? Does the fact that he had hair replacement/prettying up, worked with Ryan “Cheese Ball Pop” Tedder, released a cheezy remake of a 80s hit and appeared in a fashion magazine mean that he sold his soul to the Devil wearing Prada for financial success?

I’m not entirely sure. What do you think?

Poor Japan

March 19, 2011

Haven’t the millions of Japanese affected by the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear aftermath suffered enough? Not if the hardcord Adam Lambert Sparkle Cow fans can help it. They want to send “Aftermath” CDs to a population without homes or audio systems. Yeah, makes about as much sense as anything else they come up with.

I’ve been playing with Xtranormal and some tweets and rewritten tweets to animate the insanity of it all. Enjoy or just leave me death threats. Either way is okay.

Hasn’t Japan Suffered Enough?

Baldy No More

March 18, 2011

Looks like the evidence is mounting that what I pointed out months ago is true. David ‘Baldy’ Cook has had something surgical done about the ‘Baldy’ part.

See for yourself…

Sort of the balding on my way to being a bitchin’ insurance salesman or middle manager look. That hairline is mighty far back and this was only last year.

and now…

Square fake-looking hairline that all former baldies with new fake hairlines sport. I wonder if he got plugs or the whole enchilada where they take a wedge of your scalp at the back and transplant it to your forehead? I’m betting on the latter, especially with the straight line hairline. No wonder he was only seen wearing those sweaty-looking knit caps for eons, hiding the Bride of Frankenstein stitchlines.

This is a photo of Jeremy Piven after having that type of hair restoration.

Better than going with a lace-fronted custom made wig like John Travolta. But what’s that silver whistle around his neck all about? It is a rape whistle to blow if Svagina or Needacock or Holly Sockpuppets gets near and tries to touch parts south?

You just do not know how tempted I am to go lurk at the charity brain cancer thingie Former-Baldy is running in. It’s right down the road a short hop skip and jump from my house. I want to see the hairline up close and sweating. And I want to point and laugh at the fraus that have spent thousands of dollars and traveled hundreds of miles to lurk around a charity event in vain hopes that a man young enough to be their son would notice them. It’s a win-win.

Speaking of which, sounds like there has been oodles of grumbling about how only ‘crappy seats’ were available to the concert he’s playing in conjunction with the charity run. Did it ever enter the heads of any of the droolers that perhaps actual, oh, I don’t know, cancer sufferers might be the ones with the good seats? The mental images of the usual gang of idiots trying to trample cancer patients to catch Baldy’s attention on stage is sick and amusing at the same time.

I’ll be back to talk about a certain tranny-assed douchebag’s grab for more fan money in a few…

ETA: bulletin board and chatroom open. You will need to register with Yuku to use it first. – http://fdc.yuku.com/

Viva Las Vegas

March 8, 2011

From the chatter various places in the David Cook funked up fandom it looks like there is some high-gear ‘guh’ing going on. And some ‘thud’ding and assorted other middle school terms for fantarding reactions. Credit cards are being charged and plans made to abandon families, pets and jobs to go to Vegas.

Cook and pals are playing at this year’s Pet-A-Palooza in Vegas on April 9th. Worthy cause but kind of a ghetto showcase. This and the remake of “Don’t You” make me wonder if we’ll be seeing within five years signs in front of bars nationwide “American Idol’s David Cook – 5 Dollar Cover Charge – 2 For 1 Draft Beer”

While vajayjays are exploding over the impending release of CD numero dos some of the craziest of the crazy have already booked hotel rooms and flights to Vegas just to hear Baldy sing a couple of songs on the bill with other performers. It’s a bargain, 8 buck tickets and flights plus hotel rooms are always discounted in Vegas.

I’m hoping this means we’ll hear of all sorts of over the top tarding and wild doings from the Cooktards. It’s been a long time since they’ve had an opportunity to get up close and personal with David. Doings will be at a fevered pitch. Many scrapbooks and quilts will be presented along with crap for his dog.

And That’s All Folks?

March 3, 2011

Yesterday it was announced on David Cook Official that his sophomore CD is forthcoming and if you pre-ordered it you would would receive a free download of Baldy singing “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” for this year’s American Idol.

D’oh! I can hear the hardcore frauen fapping to this already.

As the album release date approaches along with the Cancer Run thingee we’ll be witnessing more witless tacky behavior. I can’t wait!

Adam Lambert has been thrilling the Sparkle Cow herd by posting about not wanting to see a sea of his photos when he’s on Twitter as everyone’s avatar. It’s led to some very cringe-worthy Glamphotos by the herd.

So who all will have the huge crazy fan following this year? Will it be Turbin and his screechy Madam-alike ways or someone else?