Earlier today one of my more sane friends that likes David Cook pointed out that the hardcore lunatics at David Cook Official and other sites had dubbed his pop-fest new single “The Last Goodbye” with the nickname ‘Larry’ Turns out this is not even an isolated incident either. All of his songs have nicknames that would make even a middle schooler cringe over the moronicness of it all.

Nicknames for songs? Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea exactly how retarded that sounds? Why? Are the song titles thought up by the writers and TPTB at the record companies not enough?

Okay, so I can see reducing a song title down to the initials, like the Sparkle Cows did with “If I Had You” to “IIHY” and other titles. I can even see them calling him ‘BB’ but I cannot understand naming someone’s penis a ‘Rainbow’ or renaming songs. Penises and rainbows don’t have ANYTHING in common that I can find except perhaps for a little H2O. Stop renaming stuff stupid titles like ‘Larry’ and ‘Rainbow’ or risk losing what tiny credibility you might still have left.

I used to think that Adam Lambert’s Sparkle Cows were the craziest of fans but I now see Cooktards take the whole nasty cake. Eww, rainbows and penises and creepy names like Larry!

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15 Comments on “Nicknames?”

  1. Ghausia Says:

    Thanks for ruining rainbows for me. 😦

    • freedavidcook Says:

      Honey, they’ve ruined rainbows for me too. Before when I looked at a rainbow I thought about the promises of the Almighty. Now I think about Baldy’s dick, ew! I’m pretty sure that’s super wrong!

  2. burt Says:

    Firstly, you just made me actually lol on a train. If only I could share the funny with everyone.

    Secondly, 😮 is this for real? Like, actually for real? Larry makes no sense. I know some are struggling with abbreviations because titles are similar but Larry? What the fuck? I can’t even think about the penis reference. Do they think it’s magic? I guess it’d need to be to do it’s business with them in sight. *meow*

    You know, I was listening to a “Dave” interview yesterday and was struck that he sounded genuinly thankful for his fans despite the interviewer subtly trying to say they are fruitcakes. It’s not the first time. At Christmas he thanked everyone for their loyality which seemed odd when some are far too loyal. I know he has to say nice things and keep them onside but it makes me wonder if he’s either in on the huge joke and laughing along (FDC do you get many visitors from LA?!) or just isn’t as scared by them as we think he is/should be.

    • WilcoisAwesome Says:

      Which interview? He’s starting to ramp up interviews with stations, which is awesome! He seems to be CBS station friendly – we only have one station here in Chicago that plays him and is part of the “Fresh XXX.X” brand.

      As for the rainbow correlation to his..uhm…penile area….I think it has something to do with the song “Time of My Life”.

      • Burt Says:

        It was Mix 94.1 – brief mention but he could easily have changed tone or hinted he agreed. He’s done a crazy number of interviews, not heard them all – he’s bad at updating (understand, he’s busy and well, a guy!) and I can’t keep up with info (another example of why they should try to control them on Twitter it’s so hard to follow actual news) but from what I heard, I don’t envy him being asked the same questions over and over. It’s his job but I totally see where that blog was coming from now! It’s a credit to him how he makes an answer sound like it’s the first time he’s given it.

        Just can’t even go there with the Rainbow. Those women. They put all “normal” fans to shame. He does know there are normal fans, right? I wish there was a way to reassure him of that because he has to wonder sometimes.

      • Burt Says:

        Vlog. Not blog.

    • WilcoisAwesome Says:


      Oh God…inadvertently making fun of the crazies…best..interview…ever!?

      I love that you can tell exactly who sent in these questions.

      • burt Says:

        I know right? I really do wonder if he’s totally in on it all.

        The day after his rain CD admission, I saw comments about people having rain/storms and sleeping really well. 🙂

      • on the edge Says:

        You know what sucks? I like thunderstorms, falling asleep to thunderstorms, and will sleep straight through a severe thunderstorm warning. Always have. But now I can’t like it without looking like a tard.

  3. nonna-muss Says:

    They do that so they can talk on twitter without anyone being able to search them. I searched Larry on twitter and sure enough, right there, only minutes ago. (I’ll leave names out)

    “because you have MUSIC on the brain, blame Larry”

    Then it’s buried in with tweets in which people are actually talking about someone named Larry. Then they can say what they want without David or anyone seeing it.

  4. WilcoisAwesome Says:

    What’s the significance in the name Larry? Or is it just a random name they picked? I thought maybe it was because they were going to try and have TLG trend tomorrow and I’d read that if they are talking about it too much before Thurs it won’t trend due to the Twitter Algorithm and its almighty powers.

  5. burt Says:

    Aha! I did vaguely wonder about it being a code to hide talk from searchers. Stupidly I thought it was far too much effort.

    The trending is also a viable reason after they failed recently but they’re still happily RTing any crap so they should probably lay off that too. It’d give us all a fucking break.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      Every cult has their own lingo to keep out outsiders and nonbelievers. This just looks like more of the same.

  6. Thorazine Says:

    Cook sucked tonight on Idol. This Last Goodbye song is a turd, it just don’t fit his voice no matter how hard his fans try convincing themselves otherwise. I heard the Ryan Tedder touches loud and clear in this song tonight, and they don’t sound good on Cook. I was embarrassed for him up there.

  7. Mona Says:

    Larry came from here: David beat the group in a poll.

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