David “UnBaldy” Cook’s Sophomoronic Debut Week
I guess I shouldn’t be calling Unbaldy’s new CD release ‘sophomoronic’ considering all I’ve heard is that first single. I hope for the sake of his musical career that it reinvents music, blows away the critics, earns him newer less crazy fans. But the way the fickle finger of fate seems to work it’s probably going to blow goats it will be so mediocre.
However Wehoscott is busy shouting everywhere that it’s going to be like the second coming gang banged sparkle unicorns rolled in ice cream, sprinkles and chocolate syrup. He claims the earth will move, uh, honey, if the earth moves while you’re listening to “This Loud Morning” you should probably check to make sure you didn’t fall out of your chair.
No Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets updates as she’s been super quiet, like a spider in hiding planning out her next move. I know where I hope it is to. I wonder if she’s going to participate in the tard madness that is Cook’s release week next week. Pennsylvania is a mere hop, skip and proverbial jump from NYC and the New Jersey Six Flags he’ll be appearing at later in the week.
Me? You could not PAY me to go anywhere near a Six Flags. They smell like ass and are crammed with the type of folks I try to avoid without adding the sweating like a mule madchens and fraus of his crazy fan base. The smell will be horrendous! Something like high noon in the slums & favelas of Rio.
The most fun part of watching the David Cook insane fan base squeal over this is the contretemps over the private show he’s giving at NYC’s Paramount Hotel in Times Square. If you’re a hotel guest you get to attend this show along with VIPs and contest winners. This is happening mid morning the day of the CD release so tards are scrambling to book rooms. But many of them are complaining that even as the hotel advertises its rates of starting at 200 bucks a night for this event the cheapest is from 375 upward. I don’t blame them, have to make hay while the sun is shining, I’d raise the prices too just to milk some of that frau lust. Capitalism is a bitch sometimes. Normal rates are $200. If you ring up hysterically demanding to be on the speshul bolt on floor, they slam you with ‘Jesus fucking christ not another horny old bag” fees
I am curious as to how the hard core wack pack is going to jostle from one event to the next quickly if they cannot stand in line for all of the events. Shortly after the Paramount show Unbaldy is due at the Best Buy in Union Square. To attend this event you have to be one of the first 200 to buy his CD when it goes on sale at 12:01 am on Tuesday morning. You’ll get the chance to have him sign your CD and attend a show. Tards are already talking about lining up on Monday morning to be first in line.Explore posts in the same categories: Uncategorized
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