David Cook – Adventures of Pizza Delivery Boy?
or Anatomy of the Tard Pack:
Last night Cook took an action that seemed sweet and nice on the face of it but after viewing the photos it’s pretty obvious it was an odious task. Probably something ordered by RCA management, another thankless task in a sea of crapola you must do to flog your new CD. He had to deliver pizzas to the whining tard masses lined up inside NYCs Union Square Best Buy. Same chicks that were complaining that the NYC popo prevented from lining up on the sidewalk that morning because they didn’t have a city permit to form a line. Heh.
Let’s examine this photos. David looks to me like a pizza delivery boy that just realized that he’s about to be stiffed for the tip on a big order.
Daina the Pizza Screamer Tard should have been creaming her whatevehs because he brought her and pals pizza.
He looks like this knowledge has cruelly sunk in. Someone on another board wrote this after viewing the pizza delivery photos…
The Five Stages of Living with a Frauen Fanbase:
1) Denial: “That will never happen to me. I’m not anything like Clay Aiken or Taylor Hicks. I sing CURRENT music and I’ll get lots of young, cool fans.”
2) Anger: “Why are all of these heifers in the front row AGAIN? I specifically geared this tour toward college students, but all I see is the same group of ugly trolls, night after night! And who are these idiots with light-up bunny ears?”
3) Bargaining: “Okay, let’s try something new. We’ll start passing out wristbands at the BACK of the line. If we can get some normal fans in the front row, my life won’t seem so pathetic.”
4) Depression: “I never should have auditioned for American Idol. I’ve ruined my credibility and my career. I’m no different than Clay and Taylor after all…these fraus are going to stalk me forever. I wish I was dead.”
5) Acceptance: “Okay, look. At least my tards are actually buying albums. They do provide me with enough money that I I don’t have to bartend anymore, so there’s that. And if I ever need to get laid in a pinch, I’ll just enlist the help of some alcohol and a paper bag.”
Then there’s stage 6, where Clay and a few other Idols are. Cook’s not quite there yet.
6) Milk your tards for every single penny you can wrest from them.
Last night the tards were tweeting photos of Cook and pals warming up and others they’d taken breathlessly pressed up against the glass like crazed paparazzi. Sad. Pathetic.Explore posts in the same categories: Uncategorized
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