David Cook – Adventures of Pizza Delivery Boy?

or Anatomy of the Tard Pack:

Last night Cook took an action that seemed sweet and nice on the face of it but after viewing the photos it’s pretty obvious it was an odious task. Probably something ordered by RCA management, another thankless task in a sea of crapola you must do to flog your new CD. He had to deliver pizzas to the whining tard masses lined up inside NYCs Union Square Best Buy. Same chicks that were complaining that the NYC popo prevented from lining up on the sidewalk that morning because they didn’t have a city permit to form a line. Heh.

Let’s examine this photos. David looks to me like a pizza delivery boy that just realized that he’s about to be stiffed for the tip on a big order.

Daina the Pizza Screamer Tard should have been creaming her whatevehs because he brought her and pals pizza.

He looks like this knowledge has cruelly sunk in. Someone on another board wrote this after viewing the pizza delivery photos…

The Five Stages of Living with a Frauen Fanbase:

1) Denial: “That will never happen to me. I’m not anything like Clay Aiken or Taylor Hicks. I sing CURRENT music and I’ll get lots of young, cool fans.”

2) Anger: “Why are all of these heifers in the front row AGAIN? I specifically geared this tour toward college students, but all I see is the same group of ugly trolls, night after night! And who are these idiots with light-up bunny ears?”

3) Bargaining: “Okay, let’s try something new. We’ll start passing out wristbands at the BACK of the line. If we can get some normal fans in the front row, my life won’t seem so pathetic.”

4) Depression: “I never should have auditioned for American Idol. I’ve ruined my credibility and my career. I’m no different than Clay and Taylor after all…these fraus are going to stalk me forever. I wish I was dead.”

5) Acceptance: “Okay, look. At least my tards are actually buying albums. They do provide me with enough money that I I don’t have to bartend anymore, so there’s that. And if I ever need to get laid in a pinch, I’ll just enlist the help of some alcohol and a paper bag.”

Then there’s stage 6, where Clay and a few other Idols are. Cook’s not quite there yet.

6) Milk your tards for every single penny you can wrest from them.

Last night the tards were tweeting photos of Cook and pals warming up and others they’d taken breathlessly pressed up against the glass like crazed paparazzi. Sad. Pathetic.

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71 Comments on “David Cook – Adventures of Pizza Delivery Boy?”

  1. Jen Says:

    I don’t know about that last one. That Paramount Hotel was almost $400 a night all to see a 5-song set. Though I guess that was the hotel jacking their prices up because they knew they could. It was about $275 immediately after it was announced. (I sure as shit wasn’t paying that but I was curious so I checked.) lol

  2. Jen Says:

    Also, how must he feel to see the same people at Six Flags and then again at Paramount and then again at Best Buy. Poor guy.

  3. freedavidcook Says:

    The hotel saw an opportunity and jacked up their prices. According to my husband that’s good business practices and capitalism in action. He had nothing to do with that I’m sure.

    It must be discouraging to see the same old faces at every event.

  4. Ali Says:

    Yeah, I’m sad for him but as FDC pointed out in her 5 step program…he may not have the hip fans, and legit career he would have hoped a recording contract would have brought him. But at least it beats bartending! And he will get to the point of just using the frau pack for his own bank account lol.

  5. burt Says:

    The pizza thing will have just been a PR thing. Didn’t he do the same thing with the last album? We have to remember that the hard-core contingent make up such a small proportion so while they were gloating about it, there will have been others there that thought it was good of him. The joys of promotion!

    It’s difficult to judge whether he’s picking up new fans. I look at his @ replies sometimes and it does seem like there’s a good mix of people tweeting him lately so there at least it’s not the usual suspects. I use that as an indication because it’s the sort of site where people will randomly send “celebs” messages. He’s also got a decent number of followers. I don’t think he’ll ever shake the truly dedicated crowd but I think every artist has a group of “dedicated” fans.

    I just watched an interview (and if I feel sorry for him for any reason – like I do with anyone promoting something – it’s the tedious interviews/questions he’s done for the last couple of months) where he said again that he is looking to tour with someone else as support. I can see where the tards are coming from in that it’s a shame after he’s released a “better” record but it makes sense as a way to pick up new fans. If he does it, it will be very interesting to see how they behave and react. My money is on badly and not very well.

    To comment on another post here… I wonder if they have any idea of the affect they can have on his career with the way they act at shows, being OTT etc? I assume it’s all subconscious but it’s interesting to wonder – they promote him well (for some of them it’s like a job!) but do they want him to get bigger? If he gets ridiculously big they will lose the closeness they enjoy so I can’t see they would want that? I have to confess that I actually sort of understand that because, selfishly, I don’t want anyone I like to become too huge – I hate the thought of hearing music I like everywhere, seeing someone everywhere, competing with thousands of people for tickets and I don’t think Beiber-esque fame is good for anyone – but I wouldn’t act like an idiot to prevent it! Anyway, hopefully any new fans won’t be put off – it wouldn’t put me off seeing him because I’d either give as good as they gave or just stay away. I’m sure plenty of others will do the same and surely not everyone came away from his past tour having noticed them. Right?

    • freedavidcook Says:

      I have heard tales of newer fans being extremely turned off by the crazies doing things that pushing them away from the stage or any other area they think they have special access to and telling the newbies that it’s only for ‘real fans’, they deserve it because they have been fans from day one. I’m sure there are oodles of stories out there where the pack has shown their asses enough to the newbies that they decide it’s not worth the trouble to be a fan.

  6. Ali Says:

    Yes its unfortunate but FDC is right about the newbie’s being turned off by the tards. Many of them posted here at one time or other, Burt. I attended a couple of the college shows in my area, because I was employed in a University system. I went with a college intern of mine who was a bigger fan than I, to one of the shows. We didn’t get in line early, but it wasn’t crowded because of a sporting event on campus. So no biggie to walk up front to the stage right?

    I have no idea how so many of the middle aged crowd got into a closed show, but some I recognized from online, and knew to be the biggest bitches to newbies. My friend, an actual student and a cute girl, was elbowed and asked “where did you come from?” we were in line for these spots!” and they threatened us with security. Though the young college security guys just rolled there eyes. I said something like “I’m sure David would prefer looking at her up front” lol. So we stayed and ignored there taunting. Ironically during an audience participation moment, where Ryan Star came on stage with David, and asked who wanted to join the band as tambourine player?…guess who got pulled out on the stage by Ryan and played the whole song? Yep my cute college friend lmao, and the frauen looked about ready to cut a bitch! She got a nice hug from both Ryan and David and slipped David her phone number as he left the stage. He said it was his first phone number on the tour (said it into the mic facing the tards) and thanks for making his head big. He was very cute and shy about it, red in the face lol.

    I think it was a nice slap in the face for the pack of tards and it may have given him hope that the college tour would actually do what it was intended to do…bring him young, new fans and get rid of the stalkers. But hell hath no fury than an over invested, middle aged, bored wife/mother, who demands validation from the young object of there obsession. Poor guy.

    • Burt Says:

      Funny story! Seems so odd to me that he/his people didn’t ever instruct venue security to deal with them. They must have known all this, even if not straight away, so why do nothing to discourage it? Sure the herd would’ve been pissed but there’s so few of them so wasn’t that better than annoying however many other fans? So weird. Still, I hope that anyone not at the front didn’t see/realize it. That’s gotta be possible, right?

      I’m not one for standing up front at shows but this makes me think I’ll make an exception if I ever see him live. Just to mess with their heads. I’d be with a man too – a shock for them and David.

      So, the Best Buy show was 20 minutes long. Worth the wait for them do you think? πŸ˜€

      • Burt Says:

        Oh and also meant to say, carrying on from something I said earlier (God knows where, I’ve lost track!) if he opens for other people what will happen about getting to the front? They’ll have other rabid fans to deal with. It’s gonna get interesting for your sure…

      • Jen Says:

        Seriously. There were people who were going to wait in line for 24 hours for a 20-minute set? What?

  7. In the first pic (and my new wallpaper–the pained look is for real, I am sure), with the blue-gloved security guy bringing up the rear, it looks more like Dave has been given some sort of community service to do as punishment. I noticed that Neal wasn’t around for der Frauen Feeding Frenzy (hereafter to be known as the FFF). He, at least,seems to have maintained some sort of professionalism in this whole thing. If Cook was sincerely wanting to do this he would have at least smiled. The scowl says it all. I can ,almost hear him now: “Thanks for buying 27 cds,14 vinyls and a couple guitars… now choke on this, cow.”

    • Burt Says:

      The more I look at those photos, the more I laugh. He’s not one for always smiling but he’s not even vaguely smiling in any of them and it does look like he’s being marched along. The temptation to do something to certain pizzas has to have been immense.

      I feel sorry that people have to do crap like that to help sell music. See, if I was there (which I wouldn’t be!) I’d be thanking him in a kind of “thanks, even though I know it wasn’t your idea and you would rather be elsewhere” kind of way but judging by Twitter the cretins were more “Oh Dave, that’s so good of you, thanks for thinking of us. Blah, blah, blah…”. They just have no idea that some stuff isn’t done personally by him just for them.

    • Jen Says:

      Neal actually panders to them a lot more than David, particularly the LA contingent. David is hardly ever at shows in LA with the rest of them. Even just last week, David wasn’t seen at Andy’s show, though Neal and Andrew were there. Don’t know how long they stayed after though.

  8. Burt Says:

    Is anyone watching the live feed of the autograph session right now? Funny. I think I might have just seen someone show him a tattoo!

    I wish someone else was watching, you could be spotting faces. Well backs anyway!

    • Karen Currie Says:

      Nice catch.

      This from cool_shades Twitter:

      Hey Becky had time to show Neal her tat! yay! lol
      about 2 hours ago via web

      • Burt Says:

        lol! I can’t say anything else on that!

        I felt weird watching but I’m happy I did now. It gave me a weird insight into what these people go through on a regular basis and how really, it would be better to just run into them and talk to them like humans.

        I do hope the file makes it online for everyone to see.

    • Jen Says:

      I shut it off after the performance but it looked like other people’s were archived. Maybe I’ll look this weekend. lol

  9. Learning Says:

    Maybe the guy with the blue gloves is to keep Dave from running away.
    I’d like to be a fly on the wall during his talks with his “management team”. I wonder what the threaten him with to force him to give up his dignity like this.


  10. L Says:

    I have to copy and paste Daina’s twitlonger before she deletes it. This shit is GOLDEN.

    “@thedavidcook I am legit upset, and I never, ever like to bother you with this petty shit. We were first in line to talk to you, got physically pushed and rushed like cattle past you. We lined up early after being told we could, then got kicked out hours later. Then we were told we could line up at 9pm the noght before for wristbands, then that backfired and they let people line up at 7:30. Then we were told we could come back for the show at 4pm, and they let people squat at 2:30. The whole thing was a clusterfuck that your fans did not deserve. All I wanted was to get you to sign my photobook after waiting a year and a half. I don’t like to “use” this… I don’t want any special recognition, but it’s the same book I spent months personally compiling for you, your fans, your band, family to raise money for your choice charity. I did this with the help of a ton of your fans, many of whom are like extended family to me. I was told no. Fine. I put it away. Then, after it was already back in my purse, I was threatened by the security guy as if I was going to pull it out, all ninja style. Not that I would have had the chance even if that was my super secret plan, since I was physically pushed past you anyway. One of the guards actually said to my friend, “Remember, they don’t know you.” Neal has called me by name, so at the very least I know HE knows me. You have told us time and time again you see us as family. You’ve called us by name and shared laughs and tears with us at times. In my eyes, that means, in a way, you kind of do know us, even if only by face. That statement to me seemed to say that RCA’s belief was that you didn’t care what any of us would have to say to you… but I’m sorry, I wasn’t there simply to have a named scribbled on paper. God forbid, I wanted to say hi to all the guys, and say something quick to you on one of the biggest days of your life, and one we’ve been waiting forever for. Then, of course, we hear later that you were taking more time, telling the security to chill out and personalizing cd’s. I’m a tad disillusioned. You were and always be the best thing about these stupid things we do to show our support, and you have me as a fan forever. I would have liked to say something other than a rehearsed sentence, but that’s all I had the chance to do. I would have liked to tell you, quickly, that this album means so much to me. I could have done it in a few seconds, but instead, huge men put their hands on me, which is unacceptable. So I’ll just say now that I missed you, I’m glad your back, and ‘This Loud Morning” is the most beautiful piece of art I’ve heard in years, if not ever. Your passion and love showed in every song, and it was worth the wait. That said, the cd signing… not so much worth the wait and bullshit. If you don’t sign on tour like the “old days,” and the only chance I ever have to talk to you is at one of these things, I’m sorry to say, I may not be there. I will be in the audience, cheering you on, but I may never speak to you face to face again. Not if it will be like that just was.Your name in sharpie on a cd cover isn’t worth the hours spent waiting for it, getting dicked around by Best Buy personel and physically man handled by RCA security. Sorry. I do love YOU though. Don’t ever doubt that. ~Daina

    PS, You sounded amazing tonight, and I’m sorry that got overshadowed with the bad experience that followed. And thank you for the pizza. That was an amazingly thoughtful gesture. Too bad you wasted all that money on a bunch of people you “don’t know.” ”

    No words.

    • Jen Says:

      Ooh thanks, I was just coming over here to mention that. I just don’t even know what to do with that.

      • Karen Currie Says:

        I think I might just have to flail.

        Absolutely scary that anyone would actually put that shit out there. I was about to say “Is she nuts?” but I guess that would be redundant.

    • Ali Says:

      OMG that is so priceless! I think it’s true…yes David and RCA is trying to shake that herd, literally. She even refers to herself as cattle, ironic. And still as she try’s to guilt him, she wants to tell him how she will always love him though she may never get to talk to him face to face again haha. And poor heifer was manhandled and disrespected lmao?! Now she knows how all those fans she did the very same thing to feels! Clueless bitch doesn’t want the truth, she knows he’s done with them, so her only recourse is to cry foul and try to guilt trip him. I’m sure he and RCA are loving this!

      Congrats on what’s more than you could have hoped for Mr. Cook. Congrats on finally breaking the heart of your number one tard, Daina baldy jr. lol. Maybe now she’ll go home to her long suffering husband, and use some of that dumb book money she’s been scaming fans on, for actual charity now! As well as the money she blows stalking the poor guy.

      Thanks for posting L. I haven’t had the stomach to troll there twitters today.

    • Burt Says:

      haha! I was going to mention this tweet too.

      OK, so I sat through the signing with a smile on my face – it was like being a fly on the wall at something I’d never otherwise see. My thoughts:

      – The security guard *did* look keen to move fans on (all of them) and there were no hugs or photos allowed either.
      – They were being herded through like cattle – I laughed to myself.
      – David didn’t seem as keen to talk to the earlier people but as I don’t know them I don’t know if that was herd avoidance.
      – Those guys did so well to look interested and make small talk as best they could but you could see they were having odd “moments”.
      – They had a good laugh with a woman who said “how can I get hold of you guys, I swear I’m not crazy.”

      That tweet is immense! Good timing – he’s had a long day, on a high (I presume) and she sends that? I guess it’s fair enough in principle if you feel badly treated but bearing in mind the stalking these people do, why is she pretending she’s never going to see him again? Why such detail? Why would he care about half of it? Also, see! I told you they thought he got the pizzas himself! Un-fucking-believable.

      I might actually have access to a file of the signing and I’m tempted to go back and see if I can spot her.

      It’s not how I’d want to meet him (I’m not aiming to) but I don’t know what they expected. Weren’t there 100 people to get through? There’s only a certain amount of time and poor guy looked tired, he’s not going to sit there all night. Didn’t stop someone from giving him her dog to hold though (that was one of them too, right?).

      It’s a strange situation and I’m not convinced he’s trying to shake them off (not after the pizza thing), I think he would be stupid too at this point – he needs a balance of new and dedicated fans for a while. I don’t know if he actually did anything wrong, obviously security will have been set but often at these things the artist has little control over it. As far as I can tell, at other events he’s been obliging with photos and talking to them. But this madness will only get worse if he tours with someone else and I’m not sure how they’ll cope (which is why it always seemed odd that they claim to want him to be a huge megastar).

      I have to say as a fan, I hate the idea of seeing him in a bigger venue supporting other people. Not because of worthiness but because he has said he prefers small venues and the connection with the crowd. I know he’s aiming for a bigger audience and it might not be forever but it makes me feel uncomfortable somehow and I can’t help but be a little angry at the weirdos that may just have pushed him beyond what he wanted. And tweets like that really aren’t going to help. I just don’t know what they’re thinking.

      • Burt Says:

        Damn it, I always forget something! Meant to say, that’s one of my favorite kind of tweets – I love you but I hate you too. I won’t ever see you again, but I’ll always be there in the crowd. So dramatic. Calm the fuck down and become a normal fan who is just happy with whatever they get, he doesn’t owe you anything just because you’ve spent hours putting together a book.

      • Jen Says:

        It’s particularly insane that she tweeted it AT him instead of just as a rant to her friends. It’s one of the biggest days of his life and you want to potentially bum him out with your petty bullshit? That’s what makes you a good fan? I think not.

  11. burt Says:

    Be a fly on the wall of a CD signing. See what sights you spot in amongst the craziness. See what it’s like for someone to have 100 (?) people walked past you at speed. And come away with a whole new appreciation for David and the guys. Go on…


    • Karen Currie Says:

      That was so incredibly disturbing to watch at times. The sliding of the cds across the table (“Let’s get this over with”) and the lack of alot of eye contact from Dave must have crushed some of the faithful.

      They all looked beat. I am guessing they couldn’t wait to get out of Best Buy’s cattle call.

      I think if that is what fame is supposed to look like, tending bar might not be such a bad idea.

    • burt Says:

      Yeah it didn’t look good so I can understand disappointment but it was never going to be any better in that environment (was that his first signing like that?). I also noticed the periods of little eye contact, often he looked up like he was thinking “shit, I didn’t say hello, where’s that person?”. I guess they were just trying to get through it and still come across nice, must be a hard balance if you’re tired. Makes me wonder if it’s how he would have chosen it? I doubt it but it was probably the only way.

  12. Karen Currie Says:

    That was almost painful to watch. I would think if there is EVER another one of these signing things it will hopefully not look like herding cattle threw the door to the abbatoir like this one did.

    They looked completely drained but were still expected to play nice.

    Moooove along there, big girl.

  13. Jen Says:

    Not 100 people at the signing, try 300. The first 200 got the acoustic performance too and the next 100 got just the signing. After such a long day I’m not surprised they tried to get through that many people quickly (I haven’t had a chance to watch it though). Not to mention that the store still had regular customers there. AND it was a CD SIGNING, not a meet and greet. They knew there was going to be 300 people there – what did they expect?

    • burt Says:

      Ah, I wasn’t sure if it was 100 or 200 for the performance alone. They did even better than I thought then – good for them to be looking that perky.

  14. nonna-muss Says:

    I made this comment in the wrong place so I’m making it here too. Sorry FDC.

    I heard from someone that was there yesterday that Daina and crew complained to Best Buy so much that were brought side stage. Don’t know if it’s true or not, does anyone know?

    • Jen Says:

      Do we know who she was with? I’m not sure who was in her crew.

      • Ali Says:

        She deleted that tweet shortly after it seems. Because I checked her twitter after reading it here. She was with a group, but didn’t get the names. Pretty sure the tard Chele is her friend, and krunkjess. It’s probably true since she says in the tweet how the big burly guards manhandled her lol. Maybe she’ll sue Dave haha.

  15. Rene Says:

    Lambert milked his fans by putting out at least eight different versions of his first CD–all available on Amazon (check it out). Didn’t take him long to figure it out. Remix, accoustic, live, new arrangements of the same songs, and more.

    Have to say I never knew Cook’s fans were so desperate or old. Same as with Lambert’s fans. The older fans have money and no problem throwing it around to get as close as possible to their idol.

    On the other hand, I’ve seen very respectful older fans at concerts who don’t act like that and it seems unfair to categorize all older fans as tards.

  16. Sara Says:

    Not sure why Clay gets dumped on so much but he doesn’t deserve it any more than Cook or Lambert. Its all the same fraus but at least Clay was the first victim and the other guys had a heads up what was coming. I never saw Clay have to stoop to handing out pizzas either.

    • Rubber Ducky Says:

      But he still sells himself to frau packs and does private events to the rich ones. What a prostitute πŸ˜† It’s inevitable that Bolt On will do the same soon, once he’s dropped and low on cash.

  17. Thorazine Says:

    Very good point Sara. Come to think of it, I can’t recall any Idol alum except Cook in recent Idol memory, winner or runner up, taking on the pizza delivery boy role as part of their pander to the base plan to sell a couple CD’s, lol. Especially when you have to pander to the elements of his base like TattoGirl, Baldy Jr. and the other assorted rag tag bunch of loons, freaks, wildebeast that stalk him relentlessly. Those pizzas must have been topped w/the last remnants of his dignity and pride, with a ball or two thrown in as a bonus. All for naught it appears, as this CD is going to flop majorly saleswise… 45-50k predicted for its debut,compared to 280k 3 years ago… Instead of pizza’s, mayhap he shoulda wore crotchless chaps or something… you know, gotta give the fans what they really want to sell that product!

    Best. Week. EVAH. πŸ™‚
    ”resumes crunching popcorn”

    • nonna-muss Says:

      Actually, this is something Cook has done (the pizza thing) since day one. It depends on the circumstance, but he’s sent donuts out to the crowd on a cold days. He’s sent bottled water out to the crowds on hot days. On days where there was a line for his show and the weather turned dangerous or angry he’s arranged to have the crowd brought in early. For a Valentine’s Day show he hand-signed a Valentine card for every audience member and put one on every seat in the venue. So yeah, the pizza was just a gesture he’s always made from right after he won Idol.

      As for the sales for this week, the economy is very different than it was even just three years ago. I knew you’d be here to gloat Thorazine. Still better than a lot of others have sold on the sophomore album. I’m keeping all my popcorn at the ready for when Madam’s next record comes out and is a complete flop like his last one. That’s going to be fun meltdown to watch.

      • burt Says:

        I didn’t know he (the label/whoever) had done all that stuff. Certainly above and beyond what he has to. It’s very easy to be cynical but it is possible that he’s a thoughtful guy just being nice, not just to the hardcore contingent but to a wider group of fans. I do give him credit for doing it because he would have had a choice.

        Thorazine, you are just making me laugh now – keep going! Like Nonna, I knew you would gloat but it’s so ill informed you just look stupid. I’m not going to say it all again (mostly because you clearly don’t read anything) so in brief… there are many factors, it’s a different time and it’s not all about the fist week. Remind me, who is your person? For all the hatred, there has to be an AI person you support. Do tell so that when the time comes, we can go through figures with you.

      • nonna-muss Says:

        I know Burt, it’s quite comical that Thorazine sat waiting with baited breath for the numbers. It would seem to me that with such an economic downturn and the overall lack of album sales in general that has taken place that she would compare numbers with other albums also released this week. For instance, Beyonce’s album has sold 182,000 copies less than her 2008 release. Perhaps she should take some night classes at the local college so when her label drops her she has ‘something to fall back’.

        It’s a shame for Cook that Billboard is expecting his album to be in the top 10 in sales this week. The poor thing must be crying in his pillow every night. I suspect RCA has no inkling of what’s going on in the industry to know what a success or failure is. I sure hope they have Thorazine’s number to help them make these important decisions!

      • Jen Says:

        You know, I saw Beyonce’s numbers but I didn’t really think about it that much. So Cook’s numbers didn’t go down that much more than Beyonce’s and she’s huge. Hmmm.

      • Rubber Ducky Says:

        It’s got nothing to do with the economy. That record just sucks. Only the hardcore will buy it. Most other people don’t remember Bolt On exists or don’t want yet another Nickelcrap clone.

      • Jen Says:

        I love it. Music is subjective, blah blah blah. You’re not going to change your mind.

      • Rubber Ducky Says:

        Judging by his awful sales figures, most people agree with me πŸ˜†

    • Cooks_FUFL Says:

      Thorazine, did David fuck you or a loved one/friend over at some point? Why such hatred? Or did you want him to fuck you and he turned you down????????? Why spend so much time on someone you obviously loathe?

      I happen to enjoy quite a few songs on the CD–A LOT. In fact, I have listened to those songs repeatedly since the deluxe CD came in the mail on Monday. That’s right, I bought the deluxe CD that came with the “Making of” DVD, and my name is on the liner notes of “This Quiet Night” along with so many other fans of the lad. (BTW, there is a “Holly”–just “Holly” listed on there, so I guess Mary Ann Ellis used her alias for the extra CD. She “squeed” about it on DCU before it went kaput.) Call me OTT, call me a freak, I don’t care. I have calmed down majorly over the 3 years of his post-Idol career, but I still like the guy and his music, and I hope he does well, with this CD and with all his future endeavors.

      Having said that, one of the reasons I have calmed down and backed away from the lunacy is because of his stalker fans–the regulars, the middle aged horny housewives, the grandmas, the socially inept losers who have no life outside their fantasy man, and the ones who believe he “owes” them something and who think they are oh-so-close to him (Daina, CelticsFaninNH or whatever the hell her name is, Scott, etc.) They are the ones who make him the laughing stock that he is, and for me, it’s a sad sight to see. Did you guys catch the fat fan that actually gave each guy a TOOTHBRUSH for the upcoming tour (at the Best Buy CD signing)? Seriously…WHAT. THE. FUCK. WAS. THAT?? David and the guys each deserve an Oscar for not laughing their asses off right in front of her face. That CD signing was one big cluster-fuck, and it was poorly organized and handled, but no matter what people may think, David did NOT have anything to do with the logistics of it.

      When he tours, I will go see him when he is in the area. If he comes out to talk with fans after the show, I will be there (done it before, will do it again). Will I hang around venues for 10-12 hours again for GA shows, so that I can be near the front? No. Will I buy him dental floss for his pearly whites? No. Will I follow him around to any local venues, hoping that he will fall in love with me? No. Will I enjoy the man and his music, and continue to be a fan of the guy, because I like and respect him? Damn straight I will.

  18. Thorazine Says:

    ”still munching popcorn” πŸ™‚

    NEW REVISED: Hits Predicts David Cook Album Debut Between 38-43k


    He and Archuleta will once again be #1 and #2 – This time in biggest percentage drops for alum sophomore CD’S… He shoulda ordered more pizzas πŸ™‚ His is more embarrassing because he is an Idol winner – one whose fans have insisted was on par with the Clarkson/Underwood/Daughtry triumvirate as the most successful Idols. Well, there goes that, lol… Even in this bad economic climate, those 3 will still sell wayyy more than this their opening week – Scotty will probably sell more than this next week w/an album of cover songs…. The meltdown next week will be EPIC. Going to be celebrating 4th of July weekend on a sandy beach, no more popcorn and Idol related laughs till next week – tootles! πŸ™‚

  19. w.dark Says:

    I’ve listened to part of the new album. I’m not overly impressed – but I didn’t really like the last one either. Whereas I did like his pre-Idol recordings much better. (Auto-tune needs to die… but it’s more than that too.)

    After having seen him perform live, I do have to say that I’ll go back to see him in concert anytime. But I probably won’t be downloading the new album onto my mp3 player or phone. Some artists are like that — much better, more dynamic, more interesting when they perform live. And some artists suck live and are amazing recorded. It’s rather rare to find someone who excels on both fronts.

    Unfortunately, if you don’t have a recording that is a true representation of your music, you aren’t going to put asses in the seats. I’ll probably end up putting out my $15 for the album out of some sense of… duty? But I’ll probably never take it out of the wrapper. I may be wrong – maybe I just need to give it another listen. But I doubt it.

    As for the whole Best Buy fiasco: hahahahahahahaha!

    I’ve done a couple of signings at Best Buy (or book stores) in the past. Security and management are there to make sure people move along quickly and with no dawdling in front of the (band/author/actor etc.) It sounds to me like Daina and crew weren’t treated any differently than anyone else is at these shindigs. It’s simply her sense of entitlement (from getting away with this shit for so long, no doubt) that lets her believe she was mistreated. Hopefully Cook learned a thing or two about keeping these people at a distance.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      Actually they should be grateful that they were allowed so close to the signers. When I had President Carter sign my copy of his newest book Borders hustled us in a few at a time where we were frisked by Secret Service before handing over the book to be signed. You stood ten feet away behind a velvet rope till he signed and the SS agent handed your book back. Imagine how incensed Daina and pals would have been had they had to deal with that tight of security.

      • w.dark Says:

        I got to shake Tim Burton’s hand and say Hi. But that was it – however long it took for him to sign his name (not personalize it) was how long you got. Then, if you weren’t ready to move on, staff were collecting your signed stuff and “helping” you move out of the roped-off area.

        A president I can understand having more security! But the whole point of these signings is to promote a certain product – and rarely do they sign items not being promoted. I lucked out with my favourite author earlier this month. It was a reading/ Q&A/ Interview (paid tickets) and she signed afterwards. She didn’t personalize, but she interacted and asked questions of us even! And I was able to get any books signed, not just the current release. It was a treat, but not how those things go usually.

    • Karen D Says:

      Auto-tune does need to die, but David is not a performer who uses it.

      • w.dark Says:

        Are you certain about that? Listen to something like Come Back To Me on CD, versus any live performance. His voice doesn’t even sound the same.

      • Karen D Says:

        Um…he sounds almost exactly the same live. Of course things will sound somewhat different recorded in the studio. Less raw, etc. He does NOT use autotune. You can hear when autotune is used.

      • on the edge Says:

        But that’s the point, he sounds “ALMOST exactly.” Not EXACTLY. You may be thinking of the Autotune-to-the-extreme employed by Kanye, Ke$ha and T-Pain, but when used for its original purpose it’s nearly indetectable. It seems like EVERY singer gets put through Autotune when recording these days, even the ones who don’t freakin’ need it. Maybe digital tracks have made it necessary? IDK.

      • Karen D Says:

        Nobody will ever sound exactly as they do in studio! The environment isn’t the same, plus all of the effects they put on it (reverb, etc) He doesn’t need autotune. He can sing in key all by himself, thanks. No idea why you feel the need to claim he can’t sing in key.

      • WilcoisAwesome Says:

        Karen – every artist uses auto tune, just not in the way that it’s been unpopularly characterized in recent years. All auto tunes was invented for, was for pitch correction. That is, when a singer is flat in hitting a note, you can manipulate the program to bend that note to reach the desired note as it’s intended. Just because you can’t hear the notable tell tale signs of auto tune usage, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Some artists use it more often than others. Some producers leave in the imperfections, because it gives the album some semblance of character/rawness.

    • on the edge Says:

      Eh, I’d say if there are songs you like then download them individually…you are under no moral obligation to get the whole thing. Now, I did download the whole thing because I like the whole thing but for most albums I do the math. If the album is on sale for 7.99 (for example) and I like more than 8 tracks, I’ll download the whole album. Fewer, and I’ll just do track-by-track.

      And technically I didn’t pay for it because I used an iTunes gift card I got for my birthday, lol!

      • nonna-muss Says:

        “And technically I didn’t pay for it because I used an iTunes gift card I got for my birthday, lol!”

        OTE!!! That not being a good fan!!!!11!! You’re supposed to buy multiple copies and spend the grocery money on the new album. I’m so, so very disappointed. πŸ˜‰

        I bought the whole thing too. πŸ˜€

  20. learning Says:

    “Autotune needs to die”

    Maybe you are on to something here, Dark. The thing I liked about baldy was his vocal expressiveness. Some how on his recordings that voice is boring to me. Maybe the autotune tunes out all the quirkiness that give a voice character.

    Even if this album is a disaster, I hope he regroups and keeps trying -just far far away from rabid grandmas in heat.

    • burt Says:

      I’m glad this got raised. I have no idea if he uses Autotune – I mean, certainly not in the same way as some artists do but whether it gets used to tidy up vocals, I don’t know.

      The thing I enjoy most about him is his voice and I always think it sounds better on live recordings – a very rare thing in my experience. It’s like it gets toned down somehow when recorded – no offense meant to him, I still think it sounds very good but just not as… powerful or impactful (did I just make up a word?).

      On the latest album I thought the vocals weren’t always as clear as they could have been in places (maybe just me and maybe I need to get my hearing checked) but then in the making of documentary he says “I don’t want the lead vocals to sit on top of the song because I feel like it takes away from the song, this isn’t a vocal technique album” so it was obviously a conscious decision and he achieved what he wanted because they do indeed blend in. Maybe he/the producers/the record label do not appreciate how much people want to hear his raw voice, as well as the music?

  21. learning Says:

    Yeah his raw voice is what sold me on him. (I watched AI to laugh at it). I never saw him as a big hall kinda guy and pictured seeing him at small venues as a regular fan. But his fantards ruin it because 1) comments about his wedding tackle ruin the show and 2) people will think that I am one of the frauen.

    • on the edge Says:

      WTF is “wedding tackle?” You couldn’t be talking about his…oh gosh, um, ew?!

      • learning Says:

        Yes it very gross.

        On a video of a life performance, he poled over a mike to some one in the audience who immediately made comments about genitalia. Not something that I want to pay money to be a part of.

      • freedavidcook Says:

        Haven’t you seen any of the “Austen Powers” movies where he constantly refers to his dick and balls with strange euphemisms? “My twig and two berries, my meat and two veg, bits and pieces…”

      • on the edge Says:

        It’s been a while since I saw an Austin Powers movie (thank gawd they stopped at the 70s). When I think of genital euphemisms I think my fave is from “There’s Something About Mary”; “franks and beans, franks and beans!”

        I guess wedding tackle caught me off-guard since it implies marriage and that ain’t happening unless one of the frauen traps and tags him.

    • Fluffy Says:

      Wedding tackle? Oh boy.

  22. osujenn Says:

    LMAO @ wedding tackle. And I thought I’d heard them all!!

  23. karma police Says:

    omg i think David and the band handled this signing very well, even though they probally just wanted to say fuck off to some of them. and
    Thorazine u kinda sound like that obsessed Celine from DCU that had a chip on her shoulders…. hmmmm

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