David Cook Tards – Tard Behavior

I’ve had just about enough from the Cook Tards than I can stand with their conspiracy theories, whining about Meet & Greets (why does he have to have those in the first place), whining about they aren’t THAT crazy (yes, you are) and a myriad of other petty things. I’m not in cahoots with anyone but myself. Crazy can be seen, diagnosed, prescribed, sniffed out, ferreted, determined, viewed, conjectured, parsed, etc,. by anyone possessing just a mere modicum of common sense – that commodity lacking so desperately in Tard Town.

Methinks you do protest too much ladies.

So – Open Post – Come up with what makes up crazy tard behavior and post it in the comments. I’ll pop in and add them to the list here.

1 – Offering a ‘favor’ of a sexual nature to any venue security to get near the headliner.
2 – Attending M & Gs so often Cook knows your name
3 – Putting down other fans for not being as extreme as you.
4 – Ignoring family, friends, school, work, responsibilities to chase Idol around the nation during his tour.
5 – Maxing out your credit cards in pursuit of someone young enough to be your son (or grandson!)
6 – Having an excessive number of photos taken with your Idol and regularly asking for their autograph when you already have it.
7 – Covering your middled aged gravity-challenged wrinkled body with tattoos of any and all descriptions relating to your Idol and/or his bandmates
8 – Buying your idol expensive gifts
9 – Stalking your idol and his band-mates in bars and restaurants.
10- Having private sexual fantasies about an attractive (to you) celebrity = normal. Sharing those fantasies with said celebrity, and the world at large = not normal
11- Voting as if your life depends on it in any poll that mentions their name, no matter how important it is.
12- Streaming music from websites constantly so that the artist gets money because you feel like their career isn’t gong too well.
13- Feeling like it’s your responsibility for someone’s career to the degree that you worry excessively that they’re not doing well and wondering what you can do to “help”.
14- Doing all you can to make someone a superstar as if it’s your job and regardless of whether the person wants to be a superstar.
15- Listening to your Idol’s music constantly.
16- Only listening to your idol or other artists they have recommended or are connected to.
17- Threatening the life, safety, career, friends, family or anything related to a person who is/was/may be or rumored to may possibly be involved physically, romantically or emotionally with your ‘idol’.
18- Freaking out because they were seen with some attractive (or not?) member of the opposite sex in case he may meet/like/date them.
19- Worrying, whining or crying because this person may actually dare to have an affectionate or romantic relationship with anyone but you.
20- Wearing earrings with the face of your Idol on it.
21- Baking them goodies or knitting, sewing, crocheting, needle pointing them something they don’t need or want.
22- Feeling the need to tell a complete stranger that you love them.
23- Watching TV shows, movies, sports teams only because they are the favorites of you imaginary boyfriend.
24- Pushing a teenage fan out of the front row at a show because they moved too close to you and your tard crew and Dave doesn’t want to see young new fans only your dumbass mugs in front of him swooning/drooling/thuding for the umpteenth time!
25- Emptying your IRA, leaving a steady job, and breaking your bank account to stalk a band around the country, then moving to the city where they reside.
26- Telling people that you are “friends” with your idol or their band mates.
27- Kissing the ass of a girlfriend of the band to get closer, even if she’s a total loser.
28- Being overly paranoid, defensive and quick to label anyone a ‘hater’ who does not view the objet de affection in the same light.
29- Hiding online activity or extent of support for Cook from family, spouse and friends.
30- Feeling embarrassed or ashamed to admit membership in Cooktardlandia to fam, friends, spouse for fear of ridicule. Why keep something so marvelous a secret if it is just the music one is interested in?
31- Professing to have a job, or a life, but spends all day and night on the boards commenting, tweeting…
32- Being old enough to be Cook’s mama or grandmama and spending all day and night commenting/tweeting/tarding over him
33- Excessive data gathering /chart graphing of the most minute things… the charts/graphs on DCO in the Chart James thread is a study in obsessive/compulsive behavior…
34- Not being able to accept that some people just don’t like Cook, or his music without requiring them to produce data or evidence to support WHY you feel that way. Questioning one’s intelligence or qualifications when voicing an opinion about Cook online not in keeping with theirs – especially in a review is a Cooktard trademark. An opinion is an opinion – it needs no further proof or qualifiers to hold or have one, except when not seeing eye to eye with a Cooktard.
35- Making sure you spam every possible website and twitter page of course with Avi of yourself leering at and no doubt clinging to said Idol who invariably is sporting “the deer caught in the headlights look.
36- Not being able to take the hint that you are a leper, a freak, an ubertard to the object of your desire, when his “paid” colleagues and friends, go online to call you out. “They must have been hacked! I’m not a tard…I’m his bestest friend ever…I clothe him, I feed him, I make love to him…ummm, I mean I have wet dreams…umm no I mean I want to support this young mans musical career. He is soooo good I can’t possibly just see the shows in my area. I have to go all over the country to watch him perform the same 12 songs, for the umpteenth time…and be sure he sees me beaming up at him from front and center. Sigh…thud…oh I love his third leg…he wears size 13 shoes, you know what that means *wink wink*…I’m having a hot flash”
37- You put a tracker under your Idol’s bus.
38- You push aside VIP guests to push to the front of the line for a special M&G
39- You steal/borrow VIP passes to go to a M&G
40- When called out for being a crazy you respond with lame assed justifications like “it’s a social connection, we have so much invested”
41- Making videos like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRscd97Rcdk
42- If you have nicknames for his male parts.
43- If you partake in online birthday cards for his mother, brother, dog, fourth cousin twice removed….
44- Trying to ‘out’ anyone that doesn’t agree with your Idol love by calling them ‘jealous hater’ or ‘homophobic’ or ‘stalker’
45- Getting reprimanded at work for using every computer in the office to vote for your favorite idol in some meaningless online poll.
46- Making statements to the press like this “He inhabits the song. He’s not singing about it, acting it. He feels it, and you feel it too,”
47- When you tweet to David that you need a hug because your dog is sick. Then tweet again and ask him to pray for your dog. (I swear, it’s real http://t.co/tDlC6SU http://t.co/2S92kHM )
48- The secret second and/or third credit cards hubby doesn’t know about, and the mortgage payments you were meant to give the bank but blew on plane tickets for a 15 minute show?
49- Online cards/candles for deceased relatives
50- Going to charity events, concerts etc that your idol might attend. Fine you want to meet them but there’s a time and place for it and they’ll see right through your plan.
51- Posting your idol’s personal details (address etc) online. Yes, it’s out there already and fine that you might be curious and look it up sharing it is just dangerous.
52- Going to multiple concerts and having no limits for where you will travel. Fine occasionally if you want to make a vacation out of it but not when it happens all the time.
53- Attending shows with your Idol’s fans only, all the time. It probably says something if you can’t find a friend, relative willing to go to any of these shows with you.
54- Buying 600 copies of the same album. I’ve seen people say they did it because it was in the store. Well leave it there dumbass, some other new fan might want to, like, buy it.
55- Giving 590 CDs as gifts to everyone you know. Just in case you make them a fan.
56- Playing 2 CDs but keeping 8 as “spare”.
57- Buying every conceivable format of an album even if it actually contains the same music.
58- Not taking the hint that people are talking about YOU. *hint, hint* 😉
59- Thinking you have to do all this stupid shit to prove you are a good fan. Even worse if you are trying to be the best fan.
60- Engaging in dangerous tour bus activity whether that be putting a tracker on it, following it, hunting it down or driving dangerously close to it.
61- Going through with ideas to make someone a “star” for personal reasons even when the idol’s label says not to do it.
62- Spending hours wondering what someone smells like. Worse, trying to actually smell them. On a related note, if someone says they sweat and smell after a show, believe them.
63- Ooooing at someone like they’re a 5 year old who just took his first steps.
64- Obsessively recording and uploading of concerts without working on the sound quality. If you’re serious that it’s “about the music” then take the recording of it seriously – you could have got some real gems by now.
65- Starting collections for gifts for your idols. Always remember that in most cases they have more money than you, they are not charity cases and it’s embarrassing for them when you try to buy them a car.
66- Sure watch shows/movies and listen to music your idol recommends or likes but do it with everyone not just the idol – it’s a great way to find new things. However, don’t like things just because they like them, know your own mind. This especially applies with sport, don’t support teams just because they do – that’s just dumb.
67- You think you stand a chance with your idol. Who knows maybe you do but remember that if they are going to be truly interested they’ll want someone who has interests aside from them.
68- Putting together photo books, or any media, to sell to other fans to help fund trips to see the subject matter. That’s just… wrong.
69- Treating your idol like they’re the second coming of Jesus Christ. Yes, he may well be an amazing person – friendly caring, supports charities, cuddles kittens, has pictures taken with babies blah blah BUT they are human. They DO have faults. They do have a finite amount of patient. Don’t test that out. Not treating them like God is especially important if the reason you like them is that they’re grounded – counterproductive much?
70- Spending more time analyzing the Idol’s hair, clothes and style than your own. They have a whole team to do that. You are allowed an opinion and it’s OK to express it but then stop. It’s not always important.
71- Don’t spend time hating on relatives or friends. The fact you care enough to do it shows that you are too invested but it is also totally disrespectful when you know those people are close. As an added incentive not to do it, you should know that people will talk and tell your King. Your king will then be pissed with you. Blood and friendship is thicker than fan dollars.
72- Attacking/bashing another fan on the internet because she is prettier/thinner/younger than you. As if YOU would have any chance with your obsession. Delusional tards!
73- Writing fanfic/slash or anybody reading it 24/7.
74- If you are an adult (not a 12 year old girl) and you decorate your home or a room with pictures, collages, scrapbooks, momentos and other assorted crap
75- When you start making dolls or pillowcases or other items with your Idols face on it you’ve veered into Creepyland.

Twitter Behavior
1 – Tweets about, or to, the object of your affection all day long.
2 – Saying good morning and good night, every single day
3 – Tweeting crap that fills their timeline so any real comments or questions are buried.
4 – Sending aggressive tweets to other fans just because you don’t agree with whatever they’re asking/saying.
5 – Worrying excessively if they don’t tweet for a few days.
6 – Following anyone that is remotely linked to your Idol.
7 – Complaining when the person tweets while you are out, asleep, gazing at their poster, whatever. Or asking them not to tweet while you are out, asleep, gazing at their poster, whatever
8 – Hiding twitter conversations by using codes or DMs. If it’s so bad that you don’t want people reading then maybe it’s a clue you shouldn’t be saying it.
9 – Hassling your idol on Twitter for news. Any news. Even when you know they can’t give you said news or there’s just nothing to say.
10- Don’t spend hours/days of your life tweeting old photos of your idol. Look at them in private if you must but public dribbling just looks weird. Even worse if they focus on specific body areas or you send them to the idol.
11- Don’t put the idol’s name in your bio. If you have to do that it says a lot. None of it good.
12- Ask yourself, should you really need a separate account just to tweet about an idol?
13- Also ask yourself whether you should need a private and public account just so that one can be used to send tweets the idol can see and the other can be used to have discussions you would rather nobody else reads?
14- Avoid usernames that are related to the idol. If it’s funny then fine. If it’s not then you’re a tard.
15- Ditto with having an idol’s pic as an avi on twitter. Even if you don’t want to use your face then just use something else.
16- If you have to shorten someone’s name to their initials constantly to save time then you’re probably typing it too much.
17- Remember that people can see what you’re writing and even if you’re account is locked your words can spill out. Don’t be two-faced or delete what you regret – people aren’t that dumb.
18- And take the hint when a real life friend or family member says “it’s creepy to see all those avi’s of David Cook on people’s twitter accounts.” Because obviously the person is not David Cook! Andrew tweeted this and yes, got tons of hate for it. Go figure?
19- Tweeting him videos of himself or tweeting him his own song lyrics.

Take it away…

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152 Comments on “David Cook Tards – Tard Behavior”

  1. Dukie Says:

    Maxing out your credit cards in pursuit of someone young enough to be your son (or grandson!)

    • Rubber Ducky Says:

      How about the secret second and/or third credit cards hubby doesn’t know about, and the mortgage payments you were meant to give the bank but blew on plane tickets for a 15 minute show?

  2. Sigosueme Says:

    Having private sexual fantasies about an attractive (to you) celebrity = normal. Sharing those fantasies with said celebrity, and the world at large = not normal

  3. Burt Says:

    Having an excessive number of photos taken with your Idol and regularly asking for their autograph when you already have it.

  4. cooktardx10sansdelusions Says:

    Covering your middled aged gravity-challenged wrinkled body with tattoos of any and all descriptions relating to your Idol and/or his bandmates.

    • Fluffy Says:

      Adorning said gravity-challenged, wrinkled body with any accessory bearing the likeness of your Idol and/or bandmates. (That’s special for earring lady, because as you can tell she has scarred me for life.)

      • 'NucksGal Says:

        I was sitting outside today talking to my neighbor. She was wearing a purple Justin Bieber tshirt & purple boots with the Jonas Bros on them.

        Oh wait, did I mention she’s in the first grade???

  5. itsaname Says:

    Buying your idol expensive gifts. Stalking your idol and his band-mates in bars and restaurants.

  6. Burt Says:

    Oh actually, can we do more than one? If so:

    Questionable Twitter activity: Tweets about, or to, the object of your affection all day long. Saying good morning and good night, every single day. Tweeting crap that fills their timeline so any real comments or questions are buried. Sending aggressive tweets to other fans just because you don’t agree with whatever they’re asking/saying. Worrying excessively if they don’t tweet for a few days. Following anyone that is remotely linked to your Idol.

    Voting as if your life depends on it in any poll that mentions their name, no matter how important it is.

    Streaming music from websites constantly so that the artist gets money because you feel like their career isn’t gong too well.

    Feeling like it’s your responsibility for someone’s career to the degree that you worry excessively that they’re not doing well and wondering what you can do to “help”.

    Doing all you can to make someone a superstar as if it’s your job and regardless of whether the person wants to be a superstar.

    • Burt Says:

      Listening to your Idol’s music constantly.

      Only listening to your idol or other artists they have recommended or are connected to.

      And another on Twitter: Complaining when the person tweets while you are out, asleep, gazing at their poster, whatever. Or asking them not to tweet while you are out, asleep, gazing at their poster, whatever.

  7. 'NucksGal Says:

    Threatening the life, safety, career, friends, family or anything related to a person who is/was/may be or rumoured to may possibly be involved physically, romantically or emotionally with your ‘idol’.

    Freaking out because they were seen with some attractive (or not?) member of the opposite sex in case he may meet/like/date them.

    Worrying, whining or crying because this person may actually dare to have an affectionate or romantic relationship with anyone but you.

  8. Dukie Says:

    OK, apparently I am a total idiot because I posted something already on the original list – obviously my brain has been scrambled from earthquakes/hurricanes!

    Carry on.

  9. nonna-muss Says:

    Baking them goodies or knitting, sewing, crocheting, needle pointing them something they don’t need or want.

    Feeling the need to tell a complete stranger that you love them.

    Watching TV shows, movies, sports teams only because they are the favorites of you imaginary boyfriend.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      Darn Nonna! What am I supposed to do with this big red quilt with the words “BEWARE!” spelled out in black with photos of the stalkers sewn in the middle of the patches?

      • nonna-muss Says:

        Actually FDC, he may like that one! Someone gave him (Cook) a blanket with his own face on it. Isn’t that what everyone wants, to sleep curled up in a blankie with yourself all over it?

      • Fluffy Says:

        If someone gave me a blanket with my face on it, I would most certainly hang it up on ceiling so I can look at myself every night before bed. Yup.

        (Why would anyone think he’d want a picture of… him… on his blanket?)

      • Burt Says:

        That’s hilarious. It’s one thing to buy a present but not personalized with their own face! That sort of thing alone shows the crazy.

      • songkat7 Says:

        Anyone remember the “black Jesus” painting a male fan painted for him, then presented to him at a radio gig? Rather uncomfortable moment, rather freaky painting…

  10. Ali Says:

    Pushing a teenage fan out of the front row at a show because they moved too close to you and your tard crew and Dave doesn’t want to see young new fans only your dumbass mugs in front of him swooning/drooling/thuding for the umpteenth time! And yes my young college aged friend said she liked him, but his fans are horrid and she wouldn’t be caught dead at one of his shows. So thanks AJ…umm I meant “the usual suspects” for helping out your man and bringing him new fans lol!

    I just finished that long post with over 300 comments and just noticed the Rca Ed controversy, as usual I’m failing at being a tard stalker, don’t have the stomach for it lately, because I missed it and I guess its all gone now? Can someone highlight what Ed said to the tards about this blog?

    • Burt Says:

      Actually Ali that’s a point, I still don’t know what page he linked to here (was it the main one or a specific post) and did he explain why? It still makes me smile that he even did it! 🙂

      • freedavidcook Says:

        I don’t even know what page he linked to. Just that he mentioned that the crazies needed to tone down the crazy and linking to FDC making fun of the crazy.

      • Ali Says:

        Burt and FDC I didn’t see it before it was deleted, and commented on that 378th or so comment lol, when I did get to click the links, it’s funny instead of the link he writes “link deleted because foolsapril is right, I shouldn’t post it” not exact quote…anyhow it says it’s sad he gets grief for pointing out they are being made fun of here, because of there tard behavior and how miserable he must be, acording to this blog…but he loves his job with a smiley lol. Sarcasm Ed? And he also says he gets paid to worry, haha. I’m loving Ed, or Dave, or whoever…

  11. Karen D Says:

    Emptying your IRA, leaving a steady job, and breaking your bank account to stalk a band around the country, then moving to the city where they reside.

    Telling people that you are “friends” with your idol or their band mates.

    Kissing the ass of a girlfriend of the band to get closer, even if she’s a total loser.

    • Ali Says:

      Haha Karen D. The kissing ass of the looser girlfriend gave this particular tard away lmao! Anyone want a horrid tattoo of the tour bus swirl insignia? She did haha!

  12. Thorazine Says:

    – Being overly paranoid, defensive and quick to label anyone a ‘hater’ who does not view the objet de affection in the same light.

    – Hiding online activity or extent of support for Cook from family, spouse and friends.

    – Feeling embarrassed or ashamed to admit membership in Cooktardlandia to fam, friends, spouse for fear of ridicule. Why keep something so marvelous a secret if it is just the music one is

    interested in?

    – Professing to have a job, or a life, but spends all day and night on the boards commenting, tweeting…

    – Being old enough to be Cook’s mama or grandmama and spending all day and night commenting/tweeting/tarding over him…

    – Excessive data gathering /chart graphing of the most minute things… the charts/graphs on DCO in the Chart James thread is a study in obsessive/compulsive behavior…

    – Not being able to accept that some people just don’t like Cook, or his music without requiring them to produce data or evidence to support WHY you feel that way. Questioning one’s intelligence or qualifications when voicing an opinion about Cook online not in keeping with theirs – especially in a review is a Cooktard trademark. An opinion is an opinion – it needs no further proof or qualifiers to hold or have one, except when not seeing eye to eye with a Cooktard.

  13. cooktardx10sansdelusions Says:

    Making sure you spam every possible website and twitter page of course with Avi of yourself leering at and no doubt clinging to said Idol who invariably is sporting “the deer caught in the headlights look…”

  14. Ali Says:

    Not being able to take the hint that you are a leper, a freak, an ubertard to the object of your desire, when his “paid” colleagues and friends, go online to call you out. “They must have been hacked! I’m not a tard…I’m his bestest friend ever…I clothe him, I feed him, I make love to him…ummm, I mean I have wet dreams…umm no I mean I want to support this young mans musical career. He is soooo good I can’t possibly just see the shows in my area. I have to go all over the country to watch him perform the same 12 songs, for the umpteenth time…and be sure he sees me beaming up at him from front and center. Sigh…thud…oh I love his third leg…he wears size 13 shoes, you know what that means *wink wink*…I’m having a hot flash” Haha, sorry, I’m bored tonight folks!

  15. Ali Says:

    One more…to dwell on the fact that “it’s a social connection, we have so much invested” ! WTF? This is from literatgal’s twitter about Ed’s comments saying not to validate him, “Ed’s come and go” lol.

    My point in past comments about these clueless losers is they can not wrap there little heads around the fact that Ed probably speaks for David as he does get paid to do a job, and also David’s personal friends have spoken against them (and his brother Andrew of course), but yet they pretend it’s not David’s idea, or thoughts? Delusion runs deep people!

    Of course literate gal is one of the tards that thinks Kira is her best friend lol! Of course Kira milks the tards, she’s broke, and an opportunist, so I don’t blame her, but I’m sure Neal must cringe every time he hears she is meeting them for a makeup session haha!

  16. nonna-muss Says:

    Making videos like this:

    • nonna-muss Says:

      If you have nicknames for his male parts.

      • nonna-muss Says:

        If you partake in online birthday cards for his mother, brother, dog, fourth cousin twice removed….

      • Rubber Ducky Says:

        Online cards/candles for deceased relatives

      • Ali Says:

        Nonna, looks like they took down the vid lol! Damn all the tards are reading here…if they can’t see there batshit crazy behavior by what’s outed here, and by David’s people speaking against them, then it’s hopeless, and Dave needs to speak up, and start over on his journey to live his dream as a young musician. Tell them all to get a life and move on.

    • Ali Says:

      commented below (wrong reply sorry) about the vid being gone, but it was another tard’s youtube channel that I was on…she is a famous one for the perverted close up crotch shots lol. Anyway, she deleted her channel lol. This one is still up. And still uber creepy, middle schoolish!


    • Pairing that particular song with the whole “video mon-tard” is laughable. And not in an enjoyable way, either.

      62000+ hits? Really?

      • freedavidcook Says:

        *Shaking head and laughing here* I love it when the stalkers try to spin that everyone else is a stalker but them. Keep on with your delusions because you’re just giving me more fodder to laugh over.

  17. Shenanigan Says:

    Spending hours and many posts pointing out in microscopic detail the wrong behavior of his other fans, so you will feel superior and non-tardish!

    Stalking his other fans, posting about them by name, occupation and personal idiosyncracies. Congratulating yourself on how much saner you are as a person, even though you spend endless amounts of time in your pursuit.

    Creating a fantasy kingdom with laws and rules governing the accepted and permissible fan behavior for a fan of David Cook.
    Pretending to be shocked and horrified when oblivious other fans do not follow your rules.

    Being ashamed of your obsession and masking it by accusations of obsession in other fans.

    Obsessing on David Cook’s hair, thinning or transplants or whatever. Making up degrading nicknames for him based on his hair.

    Creating an entire website devoted to stalking the fans of David Cook and, tangentially, a few other idols.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      Whateves hag. Don’t you have something better to do on the West Coast?

      • Shenanigan Says:

        Oooh, I guess what I wrote stung a bit? Oh, do you do these tardish things? Well, if the shoe fits…

      • freedavidcook Says:

        Yawn. Go tell it to your imaginary bf Cook. Or better yet got whine at RCA Ed that he needs to force me legally to take down the site. Yeah, that’s it…now scamper off

      • Fluffy Says:

        Why “If the shoe fits…” put into my head Bob Marley I do not know.

        And who the cap fit, let them wear it!
        Who the cap fit, let them wear it!

      • Shenanigan Says:

        Hey, just describing what I and everyone else can see. Nothing here but the facts.

      • nonna-muss Says:

        Everyone else?? Do you mean you and your weed friends? Why don’t you try seeing what David sees? Or is that too painful?

      • nonna-muss Says:

        PS-I always love when people like you show up Shenanigans. You think that you come here once, make a comment and burn us all with your wit and words. You so funneeeeee!

      • Shenanigan Says:

        Nonna, you know I have posted here before at length. You may be right and they may be wanting to clean out the fandom of any and all. We will see, we will see. Oh and I have never been involved in all the weeds and roses silliness, you know that. This site is long on conjecture, short on facts, not that it matters.

    • Fluffy Says:

      Let me see if I get this – this is a kingdom of detail-oriented, hair-obsessed, stalker stealth-tards? At least we have rules and laws, though. I didn’t know we had them so I am clearly an anarchist in this fair kingdom 🙂

    • Rubber Ducky Says:

      You really have no clue what stalking means, do you frau.

    • Ur_kidding Says:

      Oddly so many of the points in Shenaigan’s post point towards several tards, locked and unlocked, on Twitter… I see points 1, 2, 3, and 4 on Twitter on a regular basis by “fans”.

  18. YoTaylor Says:

    Getting reprimanded at work for using every computer in the office to vote for your favorite idol in some meaningless online poll.

    • Fluffy Says:

      I just had this awesome mental image of someone running around the office and voting on everyone’s computers when they were at lunch. I blame it on the hurricane that these things amuse me right now.

  19. Ali Says:

    Haha shenanigans…tard outed, tard outed…wait…they all come here, Ed knows, RCA knows, David knows of this blog. And the tards know Dave and gang knows, but they can’t stop doing what they do, and poor David…he’s doomed with these ubertards, like hitting his head (and Ed’s and Andrews, and all others that speak for him) up against a brick wall! Delusion runs deep.

    David does not want you tards…he wants new, normal, probably young impressionable fans, who are not pre-post-menapausal, focusing on every body part, and embarrassing him in public, and online. Why don’t you get this shenanigans…or maybe they do, but as literate gal professed. They have too much invested…they can’t give up on him, and justify wasting the last few years, and there savings, and kids college funds to support there best buddy, pretend boyfriend?

    • Shenanigan Says:

      So Ali, you are young? You are pretty? You are a David Cook fan who is worthy of the privilege? And at the big stadium shows, the very big stadium shows, all of the fans are young and pretty and worthy? No one is overweight, no one has bad skin, no one is shy or awkward or not dressed in the best, newest clothes? And all of the fans at the big stadium shows for the biggest stars, say Gaga for example, pass the inspection and look just right? And I guess they all are great dancers too, right? So no one is shy, self-conscious, has maybe a big forehead or funny hair, or gets bullied sometimes and their feelings hurt. And none of the big stars are over 30. Good to know, good to know.

      So, if David Cook wants to be successful like those other huge stadium fillers, he should eliminate everyone who is too old, too heavy, too skinny and gangly, too awkward, not dressed well enough, not “fun” enough, not popular enough, not rich enough. And when he sang that song “Innocent” by Our Lady Peace he was just being a poseur, because he doesn’t really believe those things, he is just acting. Good to know, good to know.

      • Cooks_FUFL Says:

        Hey Literate Gal! How are ya doing? Thank God you changed your profile pic on Twitter, because that last pic you had of yourself was just NASTY!

      • burt Says:

        “So, if David Cook wants to be successful like those other huge stadium fillers…”

        And that right there tells you all you need to know. Has he ever actually said that? Is that anyone’s wish but the uber-invested fans?

        I certainly don’t think all his (or anyone’s) fans have to look like models – that’s obviously not going to happen and it should not be the case. But the point is that in a “normal” arena/stadium situation, hell at a smaller show even, all those normal people aren’t fantasizing about hooking up with the act on stage and even if they are, they are not actively trying to make it happen. The majority of fans do not follow people round to every show they do, especially when it’s to the detriment of their personal relationships and finances.

      • freedavidcook Says:

        Only other group besides Idol Tards I know that does that are Dead Heads – Grateful Dead fans – but even at their most stoned they aren’t acting a tenth as crazy as the Idol Tards.

      • Ali Says:

        Oh hey, so shananigans is literategal lmao! So how much did Kira milk you and Kelly for the makeup lessons lol. I’m sure middle aged women as yourself need to know how to paint your zombie faces on for stalking the burlesque show of your favorite guitar player…or I should say David’s best friend. Got to give it to Kira for taking the opportunity when it comes, I wouldn’t have the stomach for it.

      • Fluffy Says:

        You know, that fall-back defensive “You’re just saying that because we’re old/not pretty/not fun” thing… it’s missing the point. I don’t think he cares if his fans are young or pretty or whatever – well, I’m sure like any young dude he’d like more dudes and hot girls but whatever. The point is that the behavior is even more mortifying coming from people who are old enough to know better. It’s NOT normal to tweet him good morning love every morning and every night. It’s not normal to try to befriend his mom/dad/Ryan Star/bandmates/girlfriends of bandmates/brother to get closer to him. It’s not normal to throw a fit when you can’t get access to him, to try to meet him at 100 different shows, to sit in the front row every.single.show for 100 shows… It just isn’t. It is especially not normal to be old enough to be his mom and be wearing something with his face on it howling at him like you’re in heat. Do I think you have to stop lusting after people when you’re older? Shit, no. My mom has a neverending lust for David Beckham and she’s heading to 70. But you know what? When she sees him play? She doesn’t wear Beckham earrings and stand up on her seat and howl “I LOVE YOU BECKS!” She keeps it to herself because she’s old enough to know better, no?

        I don’t think I’m superior to any fan, and I’m a damn big fan. I met him once, and that was cool, and I haven’t tried to meet him again. I went to a few shows, but would never dream of traveling to every one, even if I could afford it (makes more sense to donate some of that to cancer research – I bet he’d like that better). I admire the guy, I like his music. I think he’s cute, but could care less that my sister thinks he looks like an alien mated with a potato (that’s what she said, I don’t know why, I laughed very loud). What I DO think is I have a shit ton more common SENSE than some of these people.

        Oh, and I post here because people make me laugh and I’m bored out of my mind sometimes and want to snark and laugh at other people’s snark. Not ’cause I’m a hair-hating stalker fan 🙂

      • Shenanigan Says:

        Good grief, you guys. I am not Literategal, who is quite a nice person by the way. So don’t use what I say as an excuse to bash other people. I am not a principal player in all this, just an observer who hates, hates, hates it when people are cruel, as FDC has been. You know that the further extension of the gang-up-on-the-“others” ends up in bullying, war, genocide… It all starts with the assumption it is ok to be cruel, because “they” deserve it. That’s when I start seeing people as a bunch of murderous chimpanzees! But Literategal has nothing to do it and her friendships are no one else’s business.

        Burt’s 12:25 pm post was a good one. It is always cheering to see some rationality.

      • freedavidcook Says:

        Chimps huh? Sounds like an associate of a certain bad writer that I know.

      • Fluffy Says:

        That’s quite a leap, to genocide and murdering monkeys. Heh.

      • Rubber Ducky Says:

        *looks for box of tissues for the cry baby frau*

      • nonna-muss Says:

        Rubber Ducky, while you get the tissues, I’ll go grab my violin.

    • Black Angel Says:

      I think it’s very creepy when a woman old enough to be David Cook’s mother or grandmother have a thing for David Cook. Perfectly acceptable to love his music, but anything beyond that is unacceptable and that includes posting shit on the tard boards. Why aren’t these grannies paying attention to their husbands/family is what I would like to know. If they are bored, find a worthwhile hobby instead making an utter fool of yourself and possibly ruining a young man’s career, because a crazy old bat does not attract sane, normal people.

  20. Karen D Says:

    We have a new one!

    When you tweet to David that you need a hug because your dog is sick. Then tweet again and ask him to pray for your dog.

    (I swear, it’s real http://t.co/tDlC6SU http://t.co/2S92kHM )

  21. Burt Says:

    I love how so many hardcore fans are taking offense to all this not because they think it applies to them but because they think it somehow implies they shouldn’t exist as dedicated fans. Nobody is saying that.

    I actually think David is thankful and grateful to have fans, even the bunch we talk about to a degree. I’ve heard him get upset in an interview when talking about the fans support and what it means to him. I believe he is sincere when he thanks everyone because there are times he doesn’t have to say anything or be anywhere near as complementary. Of course he appreciates people taking time to be interested in him, to buy his music, to buy tickets, to support his charities, to want to say hello when it’s appropriate and even to vote within reason.

    The wider point we’re making (I think and sorry if I’m wrong on this) is that you can do all that without making yourselves, and by associated him, look bad. You can be “good” supportive fans without causing him problems and while still having a normal life. But you do have to realize all this applies to you and actually make the changes. Just because we see it, doesn’t make us bad. And I’m just going to say this… for those of us that are fans, I’m sorry to say that it does kinda make us better fans (in a way at least) because we support his career without negatively affecting his life. Posting here doesn’t cause him any problems it just shows him there are other people who find the behavior strange and that we appreciate what he goes through.

    • Ali Says:

      Yes, exactly…what Burt says!

      And I’m not liking his choice (yes I think it is his choice for the most part) in music he’s recording now. But that doesn’t mean I’m not a fan, still love his raw vocals and I like him personally and hope to hear a broader range of music as he continues his career. And many of the musicians I enjoy, I have been on and off again with there recording choices. But with David I have an especially soft spot for him, because of all the crap he is forced to put up with by his so called “regs”! Insanity, he does not deserve.

  22. Burt Says:

    Some more for your list FDC (sorry if any are duplicates):

    Going to charity events, concerts etc that your idol might attend. Fine you want to meet them but there’s a time and place for it and they’ll see right through your plan.

    Posting your idol’s personal details (address etc) online. Yes, it’s out there already and fine that you might be curious and look it up sharing it is just dangerous.

    Going to multiple concerts and having no limits for where you will travel. Fine occasionally if you want to make a vacation out of it but not when it happens all the time.

    Attending shows with your Idol’s fans only, all the time. It probably says something if you can’t find a friend, relative willing to go to any of these shows with you.

    Buying 600 copies of the same album. I’ve seen people say they did it because it was in the store. Well leave it there dumbass, some other new fan might want to, like, buy it.

    Giving 590 CDs as gifts to everyone you know. Just in case you make them a fan.

    Playing 2 CDs but keeping 8 as “spare”.

    Buying every conceivable format of an album even if it actually contains the same music.

    Not taking the hint that people are talking about YOU. *hint, hint* 😉

    Thinking you have to do all this stupid shit to prove you are a good fan. Even worse if you are trying to be the best fan.

    Engaging in dangerous tour bus activity whether that be putting a tracker on it, following it, hunting it down or driving dangerously close to it.

    Going through with ideas to make someone a “star” for personal reasons even when the idol’s label says not to do it.

    Spending hours wondering what someone smells like. Worse, trying to actually smell them. On a related note, if someone says they sweat and smell after a show, believe them.

    Ooooing at someone like they’re a 5 year old who just took his first steps.

    Obsessively recording and uploading of concerts without working on the sound quality. If you’re serious that it’s “about the music” then take the recording of it seriously – you could have got some real gems by now.

    Starting collections for gifts for your idols. Always remember that in most cases they have more money than you, they are not charity cases and it’s embarrassing for them when you try to buy them a car.

    Sure watch shows/movies and listen to music your idol recommends or likes but do it with everyone not just the idol – it’s a great way to find new things. However, don’t like things just because they like them, know your own mind. This especially applies with sport, don’t support teams just because they do – that’s just dumb.

    You think you stand a chance with your idol. Who knows maybe you do but remember that if they are going to be truly interested they’ll want someone who has interests aside from them.

    Putting together photo books, or any media, to sell to other fans to help fund trips to see the subject matter. That’s just… wrong.

    Treating your idol like they’re the second coming of Jesus Christ. Yes, he may well be an amazing person – friendly caring, supports charities, cuddles kittens, has pictures taken with babies blah blah BUT they are human. They DO have faults. They do have a finite amount of patient. Don’t test that out. Not treating them like God is especially important if the reason you like them is that they’re grounded – counterproductive much?

    Spending more time analyzing the Idol’s hair, clothes and style than your own. They have a whole team to do that. You are allowed an opinion and it’s OK to express it but then stop. It’s not always important.

    And more Twitter pointers:

    Hiding twitter conversations by using codes or DMs. If it’s so bad that you don’t want people reading then maybe it’s a clue you shouldn’t be saying it.

    Hassling your idol on Twitter for news. Any news. Even when you know they can’t give you said news or there’s just nothing to say.

    Don’t spend hours/days of your life tweeting old photos of your idol. Look at them in private if you must but public dribbling just looks weird. Even worse if they focus on specific body areas or you send them to the idol.

    Don’t put the idol’s name in your bio. If you have to do that it says a lot. None of it good.

    Ask yourself, should you really need a seperate account just to tweet about an idol?

    Also ask yourself whether you should need a private and public account just so that one can be used to send tweets the idol can see and the other can be used to have discussions you would rather nobody else reads?

    Avoid usernames that are related to the idol. If it’s funny then fine. If it’s not then you’re a tard.

    Ditto with having an idol’s pic as an avi on twitter. Even if you don’t want to use your face then just use something else.

    If you have to shorten someone’s name to their initials constantly to save time then you’re probably typing it too much.

    Remember that people can see what you’re writing and even if you’re account is locked your words can spill out. Don’t be two-faced or delete what you regret – people aren’t that dumb.

  23. Ali Says:

    And take the hint when a real life friend or family member says “it’s creepy to see all those avi’s of David Cook on people’s twitter accounts.” Because obviously the person is not David Cook! Andrew tweeted this and yes, got tons of hate for it. Go figure?

    • Burt Says:

      Yeah, I read about that here. I don’t follow Andrew but good for him, it has to be weird for anyone who know the person not to mention the person themselves.

      Actually, that’s another point for the list:

      Don’t spend time hating on relatives or friends. The fact you care enough to do it shows that you are too invested but it is also totally disrespectful when you know those people are close. As an added incentive not to do it, you should know that people will talk and tell your King. Your king will then be pissed with you. Blood and friendship is thicker than fan dollars.

  24. Burt Says:

    Has anyone sent this post to any idols for their own submissions? Or to their siblings or friends? Or rcaed? 😉

    Just imagine if they dared to add to the list… 😀

  25. nonna-muss Says:

    Who wouldn’t pay big money to see one of the Idol’s say this to their worshippers? (sorry, only vid I could find with the important parts)

    • Burt Says:

      lol I could totally imagine Adam Lambert being the man for that job. I could also imagine Chris Daughtry tweeting that link when his fans go batshit crazy. Obviously, I imagine them all thinking it.

    • Ali Says:

      Or show it on a screen on stage before one of his shows lol! Of course the stupid tards would just laugh along and act like he’s not talking about them haha!

  26. undercooked Says:

    Hi, I don’t post here very often. Probably twice in the past couple of years, but I do lurk.

    I voted for Cook when he was on AI but I didn’t care for his first album so I lost interest. I find it more interesting to follow the going ons of the OTT fans.. I’ve never been to a Cook concert so I have never witnessed any of the behavior first hand.

    I think Burt is right. Adam would send that link where I don’t think Cook would. I think Cook made the mistake of not setting boundaries early on. I think Adam set boundaries as soon as he started touring on the AI tour. He’s even said some offensive things like “some fans smell.” LOL. He wore earplugs at the buses because he couldn’t take the screaming. Ha Ha. Best tweet he ever made was “entitlement is not sexy.”

    I think Adam’s OTT fans are now mostly OTT with each other and other fan groups and not with Adam. They know Adam will tweet about it if he’s pissed enough. Then the OTT fans will turn and reprimand each other. LOL.

    I think Cook is just too polite. I know Cook tried once to regain control and he got shot down. I don’t know what the answer is for him. Do you all really think this OTT fan behavior is hurting him? Is it really that big of a deal? Or is it just internet drama? I am still waiting for him to produce an album I will enjoy as I do like his voice. He’s a nice guy. I hope things work out for him.

    • Amusedbyfandom Says:

      Well if you go by RCAED, no, the small minority of OTT idiots don’t hurt Cook or any other idol. Ed stated:

      “I’ll say this: One of the good things to come out of this four year experiment is that I’ve been gradually convinced that this tiny poisonous fan contingent common to all fan bases is a powerless as I had hoped (Claymates notwithstanding, although HITS would have overcome any harm even they caused to their hero’s career), and that the ruling, healthy fan majority will largely be OK, short of the occasional irritation of being embarrassed by the minority groups’s unruly behavior.”

      So, I’ve got to think Ed/RCA/19 have more insight into the lunatic fringe than any of us can imagine and plan on dealing with it in some way. Least I hope, lol.

  27. Black Angel Says:

    Here’s a good one. Attacking/bashing another fan on the internet because she is prettier/thinner/younger than you. As if YOU would have any chance with your obsession. Delusional tards!

  28. nonna-muss Says:

    Here’s something I don’t get. I won’t direct my thought to one particular person, because it happens here occasionally. Why do some people come here to tell us we’re wrong/big meanie poo poo heads/jelly haterz/whatev? We don’t go to their boards like DCO, WNH, AO, Soul Patrol boards or wherever and troll to call them tards. Just curious.

    • Amusedbyfandom Says:

      Guilty conscious perhaps 😉

    • Fluffy Says:

      Maybe they are elected to speak for the tribe… Or maybe they have a secret spaceship like the Glamberts (Planet Fierce?) and when someone says something bad about bb or bb’s fans they assemble their troops and send out an envoy? 🙂

      • freedavidcook Says:

        I hold a counseling license through my state and while I’m not practicing I have to keep taking continuing education, stay current in the field, etc,.. right now I’m reading a book on narcissism as part of the curiculum and they have an ENTIRE SECTION on the fantard phenomenon. It is considered part of a narcissistic personality disorder. I’m going to list the characteristics here when I finish the book. I didn’t realize it is that common.

      • nonna-muss Says:

        Interesting FDC. Hurry up and finish the book so we can see the list! The whole psychology/sociology of fandom is fascinating.

      • Shenanigan Says:

        Projection – attributing one’s own unacknowledged feelings to others; includes severe prejudice, severe jealousy, hypervigilance to external danger, and “injustice collecting”.

      • nonna-muss Says:

        Ohhhhhh, you mean like when the tards call others bad fans and spam comments sections and toss hateful comments to anyone who doesn’t think that David walks on water?

      • Fluffy Says:

        Oh, do keep going. The projecting, murdering monkeys, genocide… all terribly entertaining, especially when pontificated in big, $5 words.

      • Shenanigan Says:

        Actually, Fluffy, that definition was from online, not my words at all.

        Going to quit pointing things out, though, as I think I have plenty to fix in myself. When I’m perfect, I’ll get back to you!

      • Fluffy Says:

        So the point of the copying and pasting was? To assume that you know the motivations of posters and box that all in with a tidy definition?

      • Shenanigan Says:

        The point was that this site has spent a lot of time accusing people of obsessing over David Cook when that is also a form of obsession, just sort of approaching it from the side. So perhaps they “project” their feelings onto other people, it is a defense mechanism. But I don’t entirely understand it and am too tired to figure it out tonight.

        One thing though, not that it matters, but I don’t do the things you all are saying are OTT. Just hasn’t worked out that way.

        Have fun, go to a show, enjoy the ride.

      • freedavidcook Says:

        But I know that you have, Shenanigan. At the very least you have said ridiculous things about his music. Interesting direct quotations of you have landed in my lap.

      • Fluffy Says:

        I think people poking funs at over-the-top fans = defensive and projecting fans in hiding is a stretch in most cases. I really do.

      • Fluffy Says:

        Poking fun. I don’t know what funs are. Maybe an overload of fun.

      • burt Says:

        I always assumed it was because poss here are often aimed at the fans and so those fans feel the need to come and accuse everyone of being evil and mean. That’s despite some of us not being mean and not making fun but actually worrying about their behavior, questioning it and spending most of our time doing this 😮 at what we read.

        I also agree with Fluffy that writing about the OTT fans doesn’t equal defensiveness or projection. I can see what people do is crazy and they can’t. I wouldn’t do it because it’s just weird (and well, I just don’t have the time or inclination) not because I manage to hold off those feelings off by posting here.

  29. nonna-muss Says:

    Just thought of a tard twitter move! Tweeting him videos of himself or tweeting him his own song lyrics.

  30. just don't get it Says:

    ok, i will admit it – i am guilty of a few of these from time to time. Yes I am a tard. They say the 1st step is admitting you have a problem, right?? LOL I think the next post should be a 10 step program for a recovering tard.

    • cooktardx10sansdelusions Says:

      Yep self-professed tard here too…But they say having insight into one’s “condition” is half the battle in getting over it (assuming that is one’s goal) – so not sure I’m quite ready for the 10 step program just yet. Soon, soon. But that’s the thing, if the loonies who inhabit Cooktardlandia would just acknowledge, even just for a moment, that yes their behaviours and actions, thoughts and words,all mark them as anything BUT casual fans, then at least they might be able to take a step back and maybe even just laugh at the absurdity of it all, which is what I try to do – otherwise I would be even more insufferable than I already am. Oh well, most likely I am, in fact, delusional thinking that any tard in this fandom will ever see the light.

  31. AJunkie Says:

    Hahahaha blah blah blah blah blah!

    *edited because I feel like it*


  32. Thank God that Adam Lambert has sane fans!! These Cook fans are NUTS.

    • Karen D Says:

      Oh yeah, someone who claims to have grabbed Glambert’s dick on stage is going to call other fans nuts. Hysterical.

  33. nonna-muss Says:

    I was a full blown tard myself. I’ll tell you what opened my eyes….going to a show. Not just any show, but a casino show. I saw the way these women would run screaming after him, how he had to duck and weave, how the only thing they talked about was him, how they spent the entire weekend looking for him or band members. I saw what I never wanted to be. That was it for me because when I saw that I realized that I was there to get together with friends and go to a show. That’s really what it’s all about, isn’t it?

    Yes, I’ve confessed, I’m half-tard, but no more of the scary kind of tarding for me. I go to shows, I buy his music and I keep up with his professional activities. I’m now more fascinated with his tards than I am with him. lol

  34. Black Angel Says:

    Not sure if this is on the list…

    Writing fanfic/slash or anybody reading it 24/7. Sick.

  35. Black Angel Says:

    Here’s another one…

    If you are an adult (not a 12 year old girl) and you decorate your home or a room with pictures, collages, scrapbooks, momentos and other assorted crap. So creepy!

    • freedavidcook Says:

      When you start making dolls or pillowcases or other items with your Idols face on it you’ve veered into Creepyland.

    • Rubber Ducky Says:

      Sticking photos of your obsession on a vibrator

      Bragging about the vibrator on forums

      • nonna-muss Says:

        OMG!!! BAD HORRIFIC FLASHBACK!!! I remember a vibrator being talked about—an omnibod or something that you plugged your iPod into and it vibrated to your loved one’s voice. They were talking about which songs worked best. *now I feel slimy*

        Dammit Rubber Ducky, I thought I had permanently erased that from my memory, now I have to start all over again. Ugh.

      • Burt Says:

        Ew. Horrible, horrible, horrible. I wish I had not read those two posts, thanks Ducky and Nonna.

      • Rubber Ducky Says:

        You’re welcome, Nonna 🙂

  36. just don't get it Says:

    speaking of making items – has anyone seen the folks with the guitar pick necklaces??
    admittedly, it’s not as good as the infamous earrings!!

    • nonna-muss Says:

      I thought of another one. Grown women repeatedly using words like *thud*, *guh*, *squee*, *le sigh*, *drool*, etc. to describe a young man whose music they enjoy. You frauen keep saying it’s all about the music, those words don’t make it sound that way.

      • burt Says:

        I’ve got another too:

        Over-analyzing song lyrics. Listen to them, maybe spend a few minutes thinking about it but don’t waste hours or days thinking and discussing it and trying to link it to something in the person’s life. This especially applies when the song was actually written by someone else or if the idol openly says they sometimes write songs about women when they are actually about something else.

      • burt Says:

        Oh and another:

        Don’t get shows taken off the air because someone makes a comment you don’t agree with. (RIP E!’s Daily 10 – proving the Lambert fans are just as crazy as the Cook fans.)

      • Karen D Says:

        Aah and don’t forget the purposeful misspellings by adults. “rocken” “Loven” “pantz” and random capitalization as if you are 5.

  37. burt Says:

    I have another but I don’t know how to word it. The background is this – last night Gavin Degraw had a concert shown on AOL. The Cooktards watched to see what they have to sit through at the shows coming up. I read various comments but the most striking was to do with something that apparently happened during the show – Gavin sat on a woman’s lap during a song (sounds kinda weird to me but I wasn’t watching so maybe it was a sweet moment). Questions followed about why David doesn’t do that, imagine if he did that etc but it was the replies that amused me most, they were all centered around him not doing it because of how the crowd would react and how he would never make it beck on stage. All true but I didn’t see one person comment that he wouldn’t do it because it just isn’t the sort of thing he does because it doesn’t fit the style of the shows. How can they spend so much time thinking about someone, watching videos and all that stuff but still not understand what his shows are about? It’s beyond me.

    If anyone can word that into a list item then feel free. I’m too tired to think straight!

    • songkat7 Says:

      This reminds me of seeing a video once of a concert where David went into the audience and continued singing. Several were holding up his arms, and one woman ran her hand down from his bicep, down his side (his arm was raised), slowly down his thigh to his knee, all the while bowing her head, completely overcome.

      First of all, personal invasion of space much? Secondly, who are you bowing to? He’s just a man.

      Another tard was proud of the fact she laid her lips on his neck during a photo op during the Idol tour. Just “took the opportunity”. Really???

      I also met someone at another artist’s concert who bragged about grabbing David’s ass while he walked by her in the crowd. She was very proud of the fact that “hey, it was there, so I grabbed”.

      WTF?? Why is that okay? Why on earth do people like that think they have the right to grab him at all?? This wasn’t a handshake or a hug – this was grabbing him without permission. I just don’t get it. Had he been a woman, it would have been properly referred to as assault. Is it different when it happens to a guy?

      • Black Angel Says:

        It’s never OK to grab someone. It’s almost like he’s not even human. He’s just an object. It’s sad what an entertainer has to endure just to get his music heard.

      • songkat7 Says:

        Black Angel, I completely agree.

      • SmelledTheCoffee Says:

        Gotta love Faith Hill for this one

      • nonna-muss Says:

        I remember a video of him early on in the first tour that he went into the crowd. He seemed fine, then his entire face changed. I’m sure he was grabbed and I’m afraid to guess where. He looked stunned and saddened.

      • Black Angel Says:

        I heard about Faith Hill telling someone off, but never saw the vid, so thanks for bringing that over. Good for her. This is what you have to do. You have to stand up for yourself. I actually respect entertainers when they speak up. Most of them don’t because they are afraid of losing fans, but it’s better to lose those fans, than to lose your dignity. I loved it when David spoke up that one time and I wish he would do it more.

      • burt Says:

        Sad. It’s never OK to act like that with anyone. If he were a woman then it would be looked at differently. Women are such a strange breed when they get worked up in that situation, I guess some just have no control. Some really do give the rest a bad name.

        It’s interesting that on one hand they look at him like he is God but on the other they treat him like a piece of meat so irresistible they just have to get a piece. Really feel for him. It can’t be nice for any male performer to have to face that.

  38. SmelledTheCoffee Says:

    Ran across this. Didn’t get directly from DCO so I hope it’s correct. Someone please send Ed the above “you know you’re a tard when….”. He seems open to any and all suggestions. Including kissing their asses.

    Ed’s latest: Thanks for all the feedback re: VIP packages surrounding the tour. I’ll pass them along to the folks considering them, and keep you posted about any actual confirmation.

    I’ve also requested password-protected concert ticket pre-order windows that we can supply fans registered to the DCO mailing list for each date on the tour. I can’t confirm that this will happen, but the request has been made.

    Sorry to all of our ex-U.S. resident fans, still waiting on a tour – I hope that you’ll be next.

    Yes, we stopped working “TLG” at HAC few weeks ago, continue to work AC, and should have a second single confirmed and on the schedule shortly. Rest those request line muscles while you can!

    Yep, as discussed, it’s not impossible for a b-side/outtake to wind up a single – just unlikely.

    Our music license team is always pitching David’s songs for TV and motion picture use. We’ve had a few close calls already and other projects are in discussion – love your suggestions.

    I’m waiting on some final decisions as to the next batch of fan-submitted photos to be used in the DCO header. Thanks again for all of your entries – so much great stuff in there!

    Thanks for all of the comments, pro OR con, all of our discussions last week. Both sides are useful to a healthy debate, and something is learned every time. I know it helped me rethink some concepts moving forward, like giving up once and for all on reaching the lunatic fringe (I’ll leave that up to David’s security on tour), not trying to define moderation when everyone has their own definition of obsession, and thus hopefully spare all of you many wonderful fans from having to hear this stuff again and again. I’ll have some additional changes to announce soon, which I think will help DCO moving forward

    • Rubber Ducky Says:

      Second single? Why bother wasting the money?

      • Fluffy Says:

        I’m thinking they won’t waste much, will just throw one out there and see what happens. I’m surprised he’s getting another one, but can’t imagine they’ll invest much in it.

      • Karen D Says:

        Ummm…to try to boost sales? Adam Lambert’s first single flopped so they quickly threw another one out. Judas didn’t do well so Lady Gaga quickly put out another. So David should only have one chance?

      • Rubber Ducky Says:

        Yes. The album is shit. Move on.

      • Karen D Says:

        In your opinion. I happen to think the album is good.

    • burt Says:

      “I’ll have some additional changes to announce soon, which I think will help DCO moving forward”

      Changes to help DCO move forward? Uh-oh.

      • Amusedbyfandom Says:

        I think the album is good too Karen D, and yes plenty of artists, the so called superstars have had the first single off their new cds flop and put out a second or in GaGa’s case a third. Beyonce still hasn’t gotten a hit song off of her new cd. There’s no reason Cook shouldn’t be treated just like every other artist given the current state of the music industry. Time for Idol tards to step out of the unrealistic idol bubble.

  39. AJunkie Says:

    You are no different then the cooktards, but what is weirder is that you are OTT obsessing about the fantards. That is even more creepy then the cooktards. hahahahaha

    Hahahaha blah blah blah blah blah!
    *edited because I feel like it*

    No your can dish it out but can’t take it #BAR

    • Black Angel Says:

      It’s not creepy. It’s funny. So, thank you Cooktards for the many laughs.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      Miss Junkie, also known as CookedinFlorida and simply Florida on many boards. First of all, that name, Anodyne, are you admitting to a pill addiction, like to Oxycontin? You better skedaddle before I get out my Roundup and blast you Weeds back to your very roots.

      What you’re doing following Cook around is sick and is a type of narcissism. Please get some mental health counseling.

  40. Dan Says:

    Methinks you all are more Cray Cray than Cook Tards! lol!

    add spending HOURS coming up with this!! Haha

    • nonna-muss Says:

      It doesn’t take hours to ‘come up with this’. Twitter and google are very wonderful things and direct us right to the ‘Cray-Cray’ <—–Tard word.

      And AJ, at least we don't follow you tards around, show up wherever we think you might be and convince ourselves that you are our friends. We don't ditch our families to follow you around the country. We don't angst over your careers, wait with baited breath for your every tweet. Get depressed if you don't tweet or spend half the day wondering why you haven't tweeted. We don't put our lives on hold waiting for Cook's tour dates to see where YOU all will be. The list is endless of the things we don't do that Cooktards do. We have a little blog, we post on it. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's quite simple.

    • Fluffy Says:

      If it makes you feel better to think that people who pop online a few times a day for a laugh and snark are just as crazy as people who obsess 24/7 over someone they don’t know… ok, then.

      You should send a more well-spoken representative over here to plead your case. HA HA HA NEENER NEENER YOU’RE CRAZY TOO… well, it’s just not all that convincing.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      Waves at WeePoleScott. Sounds like someone is so deluded with their pararelationalistic behavior that they cannot tell wrong from right. Whatever you Cook Stalker.

    • Rubber Ducky Says:

      Hey Scott, how often do you wank when thinking about the rug wearer?

      • Ali Says:

        Lol, nonna he wanks to his bb Dave and then he washes up and goes on twitter to diss the bro Andrew lol. Me thinks weepolescott is jeals hater of the bro cos, the bro called him out for his tardness, and he can not be so delusional as to believe Dave really isn’t creeped out by him. That would mean all his 401k he blew on following him all over the country was for nothing! Didn’t get in his pants…and his bro (and Dave of course) has got his number haha! I’m sure scotty boy (and his frau pack) is on the “list” come tour time.

  41. Black Angel Says:

    Cooktards, we’re trying to help you. It really is not healthy to waste away your life over someone who you don’t know and, more importantly, has no intention of wanting to know you.

    If you like the music, fine, but keep it in perspective and know what the priorities are. The priority is your life and your family, not a stranger’s life.

    • nonna-muss Says:

      But….but….but….Dan IS friends with Cook and band, at least in his own mind. Maybe Dan should take his “Fine California Whine” back to pontificating on twitter.

      *methinks and *cray-cray gave it away 😉

      • Black Angel Says:

        I really dislike tards like Dan and some poor, gullible, over-invested frau is believing every word.

        Thank God I stepped away from the madness.

  42. Ali Says:

    Yeah the only ones who use the phrase “cray cray” are the tards who turned on each other, jealous of other tards getting closer, in there opinion to “the inner circle” so they started using “cray cray” to point out those undesireable’s. Like a high school click? Now I guess we know them as the roses and weeds lol, thanks to Anodynejunkie’s blog lol.

    FDC and Nonna said it best, we come here to laugh and be grateful we see the line in the sand about tarding over a musician from a reality show. We don’t stalk them. They stalk him. End of comparison.


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