David Cook Fan Fic Time

Nuttin’ here to see… move along

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48 Comments on “David Cook Fan Fic Time”

  1. Ali Says:

    Really? So this is the famous tard kim powell’s fanfic everyone’s been talking about lol? Well like nonna said on the last post, she pointed her imaginary lover to this site (he’s known and been here, as has Andrew) just in time to read her sick fantasies about him…I’m sure he will be charmed by her, and flattered too hahaha!
    Sicko! Why did she feel the need to post this crap publicly online?

  2. nonna-muss Says:

    Anyone else picturing the guys on the bus laughing their asses off right now while Cook is in the commode puking violently?

    • freedavidcook Says:

      Wonder if the new guy has figured out yet what the primary fan base is? I’m dying for someone to write a tell all on the backstage hijinks and aggressive crazy fan action on Idol tours.

      Looks like the Lambert fans are getting ready to bring the cray cray too. Some tard by the twitter handle MusicisMagic62 started following me on twitter, twitter sent me a notice, boogied into her profile on twitter just in time to see her trying to rally the DC and AL troops to take down the site and me. Good luck with that dumbass since that enabled me to a) block you and b) report you for threats. Smooth move Exlax.

      The thing I found interesting is that she’s claiming those of us here are crazy bad fans who stalk the Idols. How is pointing at the insanity that occurs in the fandom, like icky real person porn fics, objectification of body parts, and just generally behaving like a 12 year old on a quest to waylay Justin Bieber, crazy fans? It’s the people DOING the nutty things that are crazy, not those here that enjoy the music, don’t go to every show/M&G, get these guys tattooed on our bodies, abandon families, put trackers on buses, ad infinitium that are totally crazy & inappropriate.

  3. Amusedbyfandom Says:

    Well Musicismagic62’s campaign isn’t going to get off the ground no matter what. Not a lot of overlap between Cook and Lambert fans and there are quite a few of us on this site who are fans of David.

    I will never support making fun of people simply for their looks, age, race, etc. but loony behavior is fair game and I think this site has played a role in shaming the worst offenders and getting them to sit down and STFU.

    In other news of a few ruining things for all: Thanks to Kristen and angelangieKC recording the VIP soundcheck and putting the audio/vids up on you tube, word is that cameras and phones are now banned from soundcheck.

    • Jen Says:

      And people are pissed and saying it’s not fair and they don’t like rules. It’s the ONE thing he’s asked for. But of course, like children, the fans can’t be trusted, despite being grown ass women. I hope he sticks to it – Lord knows he needs to make some boundaries.

      • nonna-muss Says:

        What’s not fair is that these idiots ruined it for anyone else going who wanted to take pictures of their experience. That’s what pisses me off. Ruining things just to be Queen Tard for a Day. We could have all lived without hearing Dancing in the Dark until he was ready. He gave them a special treat and they trashed it. I bet he’ll never do a song that’s not ready again either. I’ve said it several times, how much more generous can this guy be to his fans? Why do they spit in his face?

      • burt Says:

        It’s a weird thing – I think he tries his best to be available for fans when he can and bearing in mind that we all know what some of them are like, I wouldn’t blame him for backing off but he doesn’t. If anything, doing the VIPs makes them able to see him more. But to abuse all that when they’re asked one simple thing just shows how little regard they have.

        Maybe mentioning things here is wrong because it highlights it more and could bring things to his/his managements attention leading to bans that affect the “normal” fans but if we do not mention it they can get away without everyone knowing. It’s a weird situation because as someone who likes to sometimes watch the videos of the covers, acoustic performances etc (i.e. anything that it’s the same thing repeated 100 times) I want them to carry on doing all that. I just wish they would do it all respectfully and not obsessively.

  4. Ali Says:

    …and I notice another thing about this fic and how the bsc fans think…why do they all think he sits alone jerking off in his dressing room? Like he wouldn’t be getting laid by some hot, young thing…yeah right ladies, dream on. Beyond retarded.

    • nonna-muss Says:

      Because he is a virgin!!!!11!!!eleventy!!! He is waiting for just the right frau to come along to teach him all he needs to know. Get with the program Ali, lol.

      • Ali Says:

        Oh that’s right nonna, he’s pure as the driven snow, thanks for the reality check lol! He will be seeking one of the frau pack to deflower him shortly, it’s time now ladies, he will be ripe for the picking after getting all hot and bothered reading this fanfic 😀

        Karen P. some have said Kim is on that “list” but someone posted she asked him about this site? I don’t know who and where they got the info, but it’s like she wanted to be sure he didn’t know who she was? Or if he did that she could defend herself? It makes no sense her pointing him here…but we assume he has been here by previous evidence lol. If he hadn’t read this crap she’s writing about him before, then he will now…add it to evidence against her insanity when he files the restraining order.

      • burt Says:

        “Emily” can’t be that big of a fan if she’s not calling him “Dave”. Also, nice to see the arena ambitions are alive and well.

        The whole thing is just 😮 – imagine how it must be for him and his friends to read. I love how these things totally show up their lack of knowledge about musicians and what happens behind the scenes of a show.

        I noticed the Twitter campaign about this site last night. If any of those deluded idiots are reading let me echo what Amusedbyfandomas said – I will never comment or laugh based on how someone looks, I think that’s uncalled for (I’m sure you’ve looked back and seen the big discussion on it, right?), but that’s not what most of us here do. We point out and comment on the mad behavior. A lot of us ARE fans of David and for some of us, it IS about the music. Sorry to rain on your campaign parade there. All of us here know that the reason you don’t want the site up is that it highlights your crazy behavior and you would rather David didn’t read about it. Well, newsflash, if you don’t want him knowing about you for the wrong reasons then don’t act crazy. Whether he, or his team, read here doesn’t matter, he would find out anyway. But for “normal” fans this place means we can come and think “ah good, it’s not just me that finds it all strange. There “are” normal fans out there.”. Sorry, but I don’t think that’s bad for David.

      • nonna-muss Says:

        The thing about these campaigns is that they think we are mean to David, we’re not. We (most of us anyway) are fans as Burt said. We are not mean to David. We like David, we’re hoping to help David. Think how nice it is for his security team to know what’s going on. The thing of it is, we probably don’t even know the half of it. I’m sure he’s got even more crazy to deal with than we would ever want to know.

        Burt, I think what sent the cuckoos over the edge was when RCA Ed referred to this site (and linked it!) telling them to behave or they’ll end up being discussed here. That’s what put the antennae up.

        So, for all of you crazies, behave yourself and you have nothing to worry about. David has almost 240,000 twitter followers yet only a couple of dozen fans are discussed here. Doesn’t that tell you nuts something? If you are discussed here you are not behaving in a way befitting a lady (or man) over 21. Capiche?

      • Jen Says:

        Ali, Kim tweeted about asking him about “a certain site” or something like that, obviously talking about here.

    • MissyM Says:

      Because he’s waiting for them. And any young hot thing he might be it or was ever with is a slut and no good for him.

  5. That was incredibly disturbing.

    If a guy wrote this crap about a woman and sent it to her it would be considered sexual harrassment.

    And this “person” has been to M&Gs this tour?

    He needs to have someone from his management perhaps send her a “message” in a way she might understand.

    What a freaking whack job!

  6. Fluffy Says:

    Definitely I sit around dreaming of David telling me he wants to fuck my pretty ass. Yum!

    • Fluffy Says:

      See what happened? My brain was fried to cinders reading that shit and it made me post in Yoda-like-speak. Definitely sit does I!

      • nonna-muss Says:

        Oooo Fluffy, I think you should write some David/Yoda slash fic. 🙂

      • Fluffy Says:


        I’m still shaking my head over the notion that he’s getting a hard on from these shows and scurrying off to his dressing room to relieve the pressure, so to speak. But hey, if there happens to be a nice stalker who will show up and take care of it for him, hooray! He’d love that! Especially if he can spill himself deep in her ass! (Pardon me while I vomit now, thanks. Think about Yoda! Little nekkid Yoda showing up in the dressing room saying, “Whacking off, you are, young Cook?”)

      • Fluffy Says:

        (Dude, seriously though, if you write that shit that’s… well… but if you post it publicly I’m just really freaked out.)

  7. Sosueme Says:

    I think I’m most impressed with his superhuman recovery time. Does this woman have zero experience with actual, real-life human sex? And unprotected, unprepared anal sex? Really? That’s her secret fantasy? I am equal parts grossed out and fascinated.

    • burt Says:

      It certainly raises some questions, doesn’t it? I think if anything these stories totally expose the lack of real life contact these women have had with men. I know it’s fiction, but come on!

      • Fluffy Says:

        I just… I mean, ass-fixation and unrealistic erectile recovery expectations aside… why in the hell wouldn’t you hide this shit away in your super sekrit journal under lock and key? I mean, I’m sure lots of people have some freaky fantasies now and then but when you put it online… you’re just flat out creepy.

    • MissyM Says:

      Obviously she doesn’t have a clue about a man’s recovery time. And about unprepared anal sex. Maybe someone should educate her for when she does meet him and he tells her, he can’t take it anymore, after reading all of her fan fic he just has to have her right then and there. Some one tell her to make sure she has lube with her. Yea only in her sick dreams of him.

  8. just dont get it Says:

    the only place this stuff belongs is Penthouse forum. that’s what it reminds me of.

  9. EyesWideOpen Says:

    This is just sick. And sad. And embarrassing for David. The shit he has to put up with. I wonder if all this is really worth the price of fame. I truly feel bad for him, his band, and any girl he may want to be serious with. Whack jobs.

    • 'NucksGal Says:

      The ones I feel sorry for are his young fans (under 18), the kids who innocently google a singer they like & end up finding this crap.

      Or his family for mercy’s sake!!! Would you want your parents or (God Forbid) your young nieces & nephews coming across that (no pun intended) when they are innocently looking up stuff about Uncle Dave. I would HATE the sicko-bee-otch that was responsible for my family reading that!

      Think it if you want. Write it (privately) if you must! But DON’T POST IT ON LINE!!

      Can you really be that stupid????????

      (insert gagging noises here…)

  10. Amusedbyfandom Says:

    The comments here are making me want to read this crap so I can comment too, lol. But fan fic gives me the willies. Back during the Idol tour days, checking the internet for tour reviews, I stumbled across some David Cook and Archuleta fan fic….I will be forever traumatized.

    • nonna-muss Says:

      That’s what I thought. I got through the first sentence ok, but that was it. I was already disgusted by the second sentence. I once stumbled across David Cook and Andy Skib porn. Luckily I realized what it was before I got to any yuck. What in the hell is wrong with people? I honestly do not understand.

      • Amusedbyfandom Says:

        I guess I could understand what’s basically porn writing, but why not use fictional characters if the goal is expressing yourself through writing. Why involve real people and why make those real men who are known to be heterosexual into homosexuals? What’s the appeal?

  11. Beauxcefus Says:

    This heffa is just plain N.A.S.T.Y. Have your fantasies, but keep them to yourself. Some things are just flat out nobody else’s business. Folks like this heffa have no class, self esteem or self worth, and thus have no shame in making themselves look this cheap and trifling. Or ‘triflin’, like my granny used to say. Triflin’, common,nasty beyotch.

  12. Jen Says:

    I have to say I don’t really relish the idea of David (or Andrew) coming in here and seeing this. lol

    (I’m not generally bothered by fic as it’s been around for decades, but I am bothered by fic that is teeeeeerrible. Jeri writes awful fic too but she has the good sense at least to put it in a locked forum. lol)

    • Ali Says:

      I never thought I would here anyone say Jeri, anodynejunkie or whatever she calls herself now has good sense but yeah, I agree…posting this crap publicly then going to meet and greets with your fantasy guy is all kinds of sick! Just wrong…

  13. nonna-muss Says:

    I know this is off-topic, but the last comments section is so full.

    Saw this tweet from last night’s show:

    Just chased @thedavidcook down the street in Boise like silly teenage girls. Too late–they already ate their nachos!

    Based on her avi, she’s no teenager.

    • Beauxcefus Says:

      Boise looks like podunkville, so this was probably the most action this town will see for months. There were only 13 VIP’s sold for Boise. Not for nothing, but this tour feels kind low budget, and chintzy. I know they’re playing small to mid-size theaters and venues, but is this the best DeGraw and Cook’s mgmt could do? Would booking them in more upscale venues possibly deter some of the lunatic fringe?

      Not so certain now that this tour pairing is going to do either of them any favors, from a standpoint of attracting new ears or buyers of their respective music. DeGraw could and probably would be more suited to more upscale and artsy type venues, due to his musical style and versatility. I don’t know of anything offhand what would really suit David… seems all he has left are the lunatic fringe, he must cater to them whether he likes it or not in order to stay afloat – they know it, he knows it, we know it, and it makes me sad his options have dwindled to this.

      The LF are doing him no favors this tour, and apparently did him none on the last either… where are the new fans and new ears going to come from with these hyenas scaring them all off? All I can do is LMAO at the freaks and geeks in the VIP photos, and LMAO reading tour stories, cause their ain’t much else to crow about.

      • nonna-muss Says:

        I’ve seen quite a few people that experienced him for the first time because they were there for either Carolina Liar or Degraw who loved him. I don’t think Gavin is more ‘upscale’ nor are his fans. I’ve heard multiple accounts of rudeness, drunkeness and bad behavior about Degraw’s fans. Also, the majority of the people that have done VIP have never met David before if you read the accounts. As for judging people based on appearance, we’ll leave that up to you Beaux since you’re so focused on that.

        PS-I saw pics of a Colbie Calait (sp?) meet and greet yesterday and they looked no different than Cook’s. I’ve seen pictures of Degraw’s fans, no different than Cook’s. Do you expect the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders at these things? It’s middle America, that’s what people look like. Sorry if normal people don’t meet your high standards.

  14. Black Angel Says:

    This fanfic crap makes me sick to my stomach. How can someone claim to like someone and be so disrespectful? This will earn you nothing but contempt.

  15. MissyM Says:

    I think I just threw up in my mouth after reading that fan fic. she’s a real nut job.

  16. MissyM Says:

    One more quick comment on the fan fic. I liked the fact that she was so polite and said please. Who the fuck says please when they’re getting it up the ass?

  17. kcsan Says:

    In case the people here don’t know this, there are lots of fan fics that are nothing at all like that one. Many are simply romance fantasies. That one is nothing but porn and quite disgusting. As for Anodyne Junkie (Jeri), I haven’t read anything by her and don’t intend to. She isn’t my favorite person. She does do charity work, and I admire that. But she is basically all about Jeri. Just like Angie is all about Angie. Very selfish, self-important people essentially. But I have to say that some of the things she said in her post made a lot of sense. David does not need hundreds of people tweeting nonsense to him constantly. And it’s rude to be yelling “I Love You” at concerts all the time, especially when he’s trying to talk to the audience and it interrupts him. I think he knows we love him. I recognize Jeri at concerts and I have never seen her behave badly ( other than being quite full of herself), but I have seen some, particularly Jess, behave badly. Now, there’s more than one Jess, so she may have had a different one in mind than I do. I’m talking about Krunkjess. I’ve seen her scream at Neal Tiemann (trying to get his attention) as if she owns him. She really made a proper ass out of herself. He ignored her of course.

    • songkat7 Says:

      Sure, there are a lot of “romance fantasies” in fanfic, but what is the point of fanfic in any form about real people? Fiction written about characters that people play is one thing, but to write and read these fantasies about real people is creepy, plain and simple.

  18. I have no words for this. Was looking around for a twitpic of Cook supposedly touching someone’s pregnant belly and found this masterpiece of insanity.


    • burt Says:

      Er, wow. That’s… no. I have no words for it.

      When will I learn to not click on links posted here? No good ever comes of it. 🙂

    • Emerson Says:

      . For heaven sakes David is a grown man writing something that is this ridiculous. I can only think that therapy is badly need for anyone to write about such crap and then put it up on the internet. Please get help, anyone with this kind of mind-set has some serious mental problems.

    • Karen D Says:

      Here’s the photo you were looking for.

      • Haha thanks for finding that. He looks like a proud daddy. WTF?????? Did he ask to do that? Or did she ask him? I thought women were usually pretty particular about people touching their pregnant bellies.

      • Amusedbyfandom Says:

        I would bet all the tea in China that she asked David. Just don’t see David taking that kind of liberty with someone he doesn’t know. JMO.

        Warning….Tard thought coming: the man does love kids and will make a great dad one of these days.

      • If and when that happens (and I’m sure it will be when) he had better ship his baby mama off to some foreign country to give birth, and then go with her too, cause the onslaught of hand-made baby apparel, quilts, wall art, etc. will be astounding. Half will have rainbows, I’m sure 🙂

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