Archive for January 2012

Happy 30th Birthday Adam Lambert

January 29, 2012

Alright so this is the first Glamcake I’ve seen from the Glamping Herds..

She’s got the cupcakes bearing Adam’s likeness. It’s all there, all the fugly frauliness you could ever imagine.

Congratulations Adam, this is what you have to look forward to on your next tour. No hot twinks or even young people. Just cupcake bearing grannies in polyester.

ETA: Birthday Sluts

Also if you have a strong stomach you might want to peruse the group card they got together over at AO – Group Birthday Virtual Card There was another card but some wag posted many funny farcical messages that made the Sparkle Cows very angsty until the messages were edited out. Unforch the Sparkle Cow editing it missed some prank messages even while editing out the beyond obvious ones. C’est la vie!

Sparkle Cow Meltdown In Adam Lambert Herd

January 24, 2012

Someone forwarded me a link last night about one of the mods on the many Adam Lambert boards posting her swan song. She’s outta there like lettuce through a Colitis sufferer. Plus she’s calling out the bad behavior on the way out of the pen.

UlliAdamFan (@Glam_Ulli)

Posted Tuesday 24th January 2012 from Twitlonger

This twitlonger will make some of you very happy. Letting you all know that I just resigned from ALF.

I will also delete my twitter account in the morning. To the ones I have gotten so close with, pls DM me your email and I will stay in touch.

I just feel too old to put up with this kindergarten mess anymore.Twitter was so much fun in the beginning when we were all happy for Adam

Now its a big competition who is the biggest fan.
Not to mention the entitlement of some of them.

I should have known how evil some of the fans were when my Dad died and I received a tweet that it was Karma that he passed away:(

To Barb , I remember what started your hate for me, you were upset that I was tired of looking at all your pics all the time. I unfollowed you when you know who forwarded the email to me where you were so upset that we didn’t get you a M&G through DonorsChoose. Talk about entitlement.

You can twist things and lie but it is what it is.
I’m tired of everyone switching things around to suit them best.

And yes some of the crazy bitches gang, have really earned that title..why anyone would call themselves this, is beyond me.

One last time, I did not become a Mod because I threw thousands of dollars at donorschoose, some of you need to get your story straight.

Also I never bought a M&G so this is all rumor as well.

To Tommy’s tour mom, I hope some day Tommy and Dia will find out how you got to be so called “friends” with them. Yes I remember Fantasy Springs.

Sorry for being so vocal and getting some of your feathers ruffled.

I was here for Adam and to support him nonstop.
I will always support Adam and his charities .

To my buddies , I will sure miss you crazy guys, love you bunches.

I will sign off now before my head explodes.

To the haters, I will see you around at concerts

Ulli xoxo

It’s every bit as bad as I expected because these same things happen in every single Tard Town. You get a hard core cadre that loves acting completely without restraint and ruins it for the ones that aren’t that way. They also chase off any new fans or people even slightly interested in the tard target.

Good luck Ulli. They’ll talk shit about you for years and blame you for the sins of the world. With each retelling they’ll add stupid crappy lies until you surpass Hitler in evilness. Expect to get snubbed at concerts and fan gatherings or to have people suck up to you only to spread with an evil twist anything you’ve said.

PS: To the Sparkle Cows trying to post comments here today. Cool yer jets. I will eventually approve your comments once I’m finished at work. Some of us cannot sit around online masturbating all damn day.

What Not To Do: David Cook, Adam Lambert, Taylor Hicks, Whoever Fans

January 23, 2012

A couple of fans posted online prime examples of just what you really DON’T want to do to attract the notice of anyone, much less your favorite American Idol. Kind of reminds me of this Weird Al Yankovic song parodying the musical stylings of Taylor Hicks.

First up is a silly page some lone Taylor Hicks frau posted ages ago as ‘advice’ to meet Taylor. Thanks Black Angel for posting this in the comments. It’s a primer of what NOT to do. Just do the opposite of what this stalker-frau says.

1. Look up when he is having a show. You can go to his website or follow him on Twitter @TaylorRHicks and on Facebook.

Okay, so there’s nothing wrong with looking up where anyone will be playing..can’t object to that.

2. Send him a message, so he will be familiar with you(optional)

Yeah, you do that so he can print off your photo and name to give to his security team with strict instructions to keep you far far away from him.

3. On the day of the concert, if it is General Admission get there around lunch time(Unless the concert is a hometown concert, then you need to get there around 6am) The Soul Patrol does camp out in any kind of weather!

Camping out for anyone is a sign that you’ve already slipped over the edge into over involvement in your mind only and tard dom. Put down the sleeping bag and go wait till a reasonable hour like a sane normal person, not some crazy cat lady waiting for a new batch of kittens at the pound.

4. Talk to the fans that come up. And get familiarized with Taylor and his band members. Most of the time, Taylor sends them out to distract fans so he can run inside and do soundcheck.

If Taylor, or anyone, is getting people to distract that masses so he can run inside for the soundcheck then you’ve already entered the zip code of Crazyville. Don’t add to the population, allow the poor beleaguered and hounded headliner to pass unmolested.

5. If it is a casino show and you are inside the casino, realize, Taylor Hicks may have passed by you one hundred times and you did not even know it. Soul Patrol knows the disguise and where to look for Taylor and his friends. And try to book a room at the hotel, if you want to stalk Taylor.

The writer realizes what she’s trying to do is not normal and for once calls it what it is, stalking. If Hicks or any other Idols are walking about in disguises it’s surely because the fans are acting like K Mart shoppers during a Blue Light Special. Just don’t.

6. Try not to stalk him. You will end up on his hate list.

But,,, but…you are advocating stalking in everything else on the list.

7. Find fans that do not seem, obsessed. They are most likely cool with the band!

Sooo you’ll stand out as the crazy one in the ‘normal’ bunch?

8. Try to get in the front row. Dance, sing, holler, correct him on the lyrics, and he will notice you. Or make a giant rainbow poster confessing your love for him. Seriously, dont do that!

Advocating typical front row frau antics that have been going on in every frau pace. How is correcting the singer singing his own lyrics going to garner you positive attention? He’s just going to think you’re an assclown and he’d be right.

9. Dont leave right after the concert is over, unless the house lights come on. Taylor always comes back on and do two or three more songs, depending on how he feels.

I believe this is known as an ‘encore’ and most performers do it, unless there’s a hot blonde and a pile of Peruvian Marching Dust a foot high awaiting them in the dressing room.

10. Depending on how big the crowd is, that is your chance to really get to know Taylor. Talk with him about sports, but dont drag on and on forever. Buy a CD or print off a picture of him to sign.

When last we left off our Taylor Tard she was talking of encores. How did we get from encores to chatting about sports? How ’bout them Packers?

11. If the show is at a casino, or has a place with a bar, or if a bar is nearby, that is where Taylor is! But if you do run into him again, don’t be all up in his business.

Yeah, just try to buy him a million drinks so he’ll pass out and not notice you’re trying to gargle with his balls. Smooth move.

More sage ‘advice’

No Stalking
Don’t badmouth Taylor around fans
Don’t act all creepish around people.
Do NOT get wasted drunk.
Do not put your hands all over Taylor
Get there EARLY!

I heard that this particular author did get wasted at a Taylor concert so I guess she knows.

If not careful, you could possibly be banned from all Taylor shows. A Taylor Hicks show is pretty simple to attend. And it is really fun!

Sweetheart, I’m sure he added you to the list the second you started spamming him on Twitter that you were coming to see him real soon.

Then she lists supplies you should bring for your attempt to ‘stalk’ ooops, ‘meet’ him.

Camera(a good one. His fans love to show off all the picture they have taken.)
Picture(for an autograph)
Breath mints( if you are going to make your move)

Strangely enough the things you know she’s dying to bring, like lube and a ball gag, are strangely absent from the list.

Earlier this week we saw other do not repeat behavior from Cook fan. Look at this Twitter timeline. The author deleted the tweets but while they were up she was melting down over David Cook or even Andrew Cook not twittering her back. Ha. Read from the bottom up on the tweets…

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
i can’t believe i did it for someone like u.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
can ignore me. i’ll do too.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
i wanted one thing u don’t know to do. simple. talk.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
i don’t want a gdbye. i wanted was a hello.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
someone that just do.. sing songs gdbye!!!!!!!!!!!

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
i’m frustrated? nope.. in panic with me. hw i can be so stupid?

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
to me lixando!

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
u just think in fortune… put it in ur ass..

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
but i’m wasting my time..

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
don’t matter to me what u are? famous or not.. to me lixandu!

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
answer with ur face without send others to do it for u.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
know for more crazy…” the less” u’d should to do is answer.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
i’ll let to u think in ur atitude to someone here that wrote to u.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
u know what i really miss. be so stupid in think that u could answer me as a man. and not as a child.ur atitude is so..

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
and nope mr.andrew wont have fight anymore. i know what is a NOT.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
and more this guy deserve receive all love .. all girls.. be happy with ur girls.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
i deserved. write words to a piece of the stone.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
thank u for all ur hard time to read here and answer me with kind “jokes”

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
and more… today u show me what i shouldn’t do anymore.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
hw stupid i’m. think that u’ll could like someone like me. but i have a heart to say what i feel..and i know say sorry. and receive one NOT.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
@MrAndrewCook what do u think…. was funny watched a stupid here.. good. ur words will help me

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
@MrAndrewCook or so say stupid shut up! i don’t want any with u.. u don’t see… i’m much for u!

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
@thedavidcook u could just have said.. stupid woman stop to write.. cause i don’t like u.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
@thedavidcook hw can u ignore a person like u do?

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
@thedavidcook and wrost do jokes…. Have u one heart? u read it?

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
@MrAndrewCook i just wanted understand hw can?

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
@MrAndrewCook hw can a man ignore and be so cold.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
@MrAndrewCook no.. i don’t understand hw can a man read it and be so cold. and haven’t one word to say.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
@MrAndrewCook just tell me hw can someone to be so cold. so ice.. one piece of a stone.. that haven’t a HEART!

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
sorry… for write fools … again hurt myself here. i’m stupid.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
well. i think i haven’t any to do here … i already read what i needed … and i know what is one NOT.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
eh. cool show. was funny….that good someone liked here.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
let me lov u.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin…

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
don’t matter. i still can dream with a true love.

MarcyaLin Marcya Lin
@thedavidcook can survive a love in distance? question for u?

Don’t do this. Please don’t do this to anyone.

Adam Lambert Plastic Surgery?

January 19, 2012

According to someone in the comments here they believe Adam Lambert has had plastic surgery since the end of Idol. I tend to think not because no plastic surgeon worth his salt would do nips and tucks on Madam without dealing with his heavily pitted skin first. Spackle and sandpaper that stuff. It needs it.

Compare for yourself and please vote below. I’m curious as to how many believe he’s been playing “Oops I Ruined My Face.”

Looks to me like he’s gained weight and has a different hair style. His nose could really use some definition of the bridge and narrowing of the bridge because it looks like he got hit with a football right on the bridge. Oh Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.. oh my nose!

Clay Aiken – Dude Looks Like A Lady & David Cook & Adam Lambert Fans

January 15, 2012

Last night someone pointed out to me that there is a new competition between David Cooktards and Adam Lambertards. Something called “American Idol Smackdown” on radio station 98.7 out of Tampa, Florida. They are asking fans to rate if Lambert’s new single or Cook’s is better. So far the comments are pretty tame but I have a feeling this has the potential to turn into Crazy Cakes Land soon enough. That’s when the Glamcows stop rushing all over the interwebs trying to rationalize and defend the Glittery One over his recent alcohol fueled slapfest.

Some wag that sounds almost like Kerry Kolsch suggested that the two people voting that they disliked both singles must be people that voted for Kris Allen and David Archuletta. Hey, at least Archuletta got a big honking Christmas special this year on PBS. Did Adam or David get a Christmas eggstravaganza anywhere on teevee? Oh hells naw.

Plus, Allen and Archuelette fans seem a tad more, I don’t know, sane and rational than Cooktards or GlitteryBovines.

The other amusing fan delusional behavior this week has been the angry angry Clay Aiken Grannies, the Claymates, trying to pretend that Claylene hasn’t had something new done to his face. Photos were released this week of Clay posing for his upcoming turn on “Celebrity Apprentice”

Judge for yourself….

Depends are twisting all over Granny Fannys as the Clay Fantards rush to say that he’s not had anything done at all beyond a TMJ jaw fix. Bullshit. He’s as stitched, pulled, stuffed as a cheap carnival stuffed animal prize. There’s more filler in that face than a bargain hotdog made of hooves and assholes.

One plastic surgery website had an interesting theory back in 2009 as to way Clay is dabbling in such heavy plastic surgery.

What genius in Clay Aiken’s entourage decided that plumper lips would make him look more masculine? Whomever they are, they should be fired. Clay looked more manly when he started out than he does now. The shag haircut, the glass, heavy layer of foundation, and plumped up lips make him look like someone testing the waters before they decide to get a sex change.

Damn, he’d make one very ugly woman. I hope this is not why he’s been indulging in facial enhancement.

Origin of David Cook’s ‘Weeds’ & ‘Roses’

January 6, 2012

So this last week and the week before the Twitter drums were being beaten to a bloody pulp by the Cooktards demanding he tweet. His tweeting twittering has fallen off and now it seems that his tweets are usually about things like upcoming shows and merchandise. Some claim it’s not him tweeting but someone in his camp.

Has that stopped them from tweeting him good morning, good night and happy pooping? Nope.

But someone in management must have put the screws to his nuts and done a hard turn because at the height of the whining and obsessing by the over involved he finally tweeted and it sounds like him. Poor guy. Too bad he cannot tweet without being spammed relentlessly.

I received some interesting info on the origins of the whole stupid ‘Weeds’ and ‘Roses’ split. It had something to do with Ladynsearch and her scrapbooks. She put one together labeled –“The D.C.O Cookie Cutter Scrapbook – This Is The David Cook Official Online Scrapbook Dedicated To All Things David Roland Cook” I have screencaps of this monstrosity and I would post them here but I don’t want to provoke a heart attack or apoplexy in Scrapbook Granny.

The Scrapbook started it all. Apparently the maker used a lot of fan photos of David Cook in this scrapbook, fan taken photos of Cook that she didn’t get permission to use. She violated various peoples copyrights to put together this online scrapbook. Some who ended up having their photos lifted, photoshopped, cropped and used without their express permission got so angry that this whole Weeds and Roses split began in fandom.

The comical goodness of this scrapbook is reams of very questionable poetry written to Cook from Ladynsearch. She’s competing with the Vogons for worst poetry ever.

Her poetry reminds me of this clip at about 3:31 in…

Actually I think I would rather hear the Vogon poetry and Gruntos poetry than anything in that scrapbook.

But if you’re a horrible glutton for torture almost as bad as water boarding here’s her site complete with bad bad poetry – Ladynsearch

Ladynsearch Twitpic Account with lots of uh…’borrowed’ photos someone else, many someone elses own copyright
Ladynsearch MySpace
Ladynsearch Twitter Account with an obscene number of tweets
Ladynsearch YouTube Account
Ladynsearch Flicker Account filled with purloined photos