Archive for February 2012

Queen Fans Beware of Adam Lambert’s Sparkle Cows

February 28, 2012

Oh lawdy, the news continues. Apparently Queen + Madam are playing another date, not just the Sonisphere Fest at Knebworth. They will be playing a week earlier in Moscow at the Olympic Arena. Moscow Russia, not Moscow Idaho. Info about that has come out in a press release from Queen Official. Ticket sales haven’t started but warning for the Sparkle Cows – the site is auf paruski (in Russian) so better get your favorite translator to help you buy those tickets. I’m wondering why there’s a photo of “House” star Hugh Laurie on the site and not one of Queen but have to wait for my favorite Russian translator to come home from work and be my peravochic. I suspect Hugh is playing or hosting something in Moscow.

So the real question is, how many Sparkle Cows versus how many Queen fans will travel to Knebworth and/or Moscow? And will there be blood and glitter on the floor of the venue.

Dear Queen fans, this is what you can expect from Adam Lambert’s Sparkle Cows. They are aggressive, very aggressive. They will elbow, instep stomp, shin kick, shriek, push and accuse of homophobia anyone that tries to stop them from pushing through the crowd and right up against the stage. I’d recommend wearing a pair of steel toed Doc Martins to deal with them. You’ll see them coming from far away, a herd of fat glitter and paint middle aged women with unfortunate hair. They’ll come in lock step and try to mow down anyone in their way from the front of the stage. I oh so wish to be a fly on the wall the second Brian May has to look down in that sea of deluded sparkling fug at his feet. The look on his face will be worth seeing.

You lot are about to come into contact with the craziest most obsessional fan base you’ve ever seen. They’ll likely attack anyone that tries to bottle Madam. As the gigs get nearer they are going to start clashing with any Queen fans on the boards, probably saying things like ‘Queen should be GRATEFUL to have Adam!” and act like Madam is more talented than Brian or Roger Taylor. They will be frustrating, they will be obtuse, they will be unreasoning. Good luck because you’re going to need it.

ETA: This wonderful video by a Queen fan comparing Madam’s singing to Gene Pitney… they both have goaty notes.. maaaaaahhhh

Adam Lambert & Brian May Ain’t Queen

February 26, 2012

So it turns out that the news Adam Lambert had been babbling about being the lead singer for Queen this summer before suddenly retracting wasn’t entirely stupid rumor. I was very sad to hear this considering I have adored Queen since I first saw them in my teens. I saw them on the stage of the Uris Theater on Broadway, NYC in May of 1974. I’d hitchhiked to NYC with my best bud to see my all time favorite band, Mott The Hoople, but Queen opened for Mott and that was that for me. I divided my teen tarding between hunky Pete “Overend” Watts and Freddie Mercury with Freddie eventually overcoming my love of Overend.

I loved Queen. Queen with Freddie Mercury. Not any of these mish-mashed Queen with a variety of people wanting to fill Freddie’s old ballet slippers. Queen stopped being Queen with Freddie Mercury’s untimely passing. You cannot consider anything really post-Freddie as Queen, more like half Queen, half something else. A different creature all together. More like a cover band or a karaoke band.

Of the three remaining members I have to say the only one left I have any love or respect for is the bassist John Deacon. John wisely realized that Queen with another singer is not only not Queen but some vile travesty. He retired since there was no more Queen.

But Brian May couldn’t accept that he should move on, free of Queen and make his own music beyond those two failed solo albums he did. He couldn’t leave well enough alone. He’s spent his post-Queen time either whoring out the hits of the band as fodder for commercials, putting new lead singers in place, creating ‘musicals’, whining that the planet doesn’t go vegan entirely or stop smoking plus trying to rescue various animal groups. While there’s nothing wrong with animal rescue I want to know what the hell is wrong with the man. Is flying around the world to view eclipses, playing with his stereoscopic photos and badger rescue not occupying enough for a guy pushing 70? Is he out of money? What, what? Stroke? Senior dementia?

I have to blame dementia. Or attention whoring. I can’t decide which one is responsible. Have time to waste? Bore yourself with Brian’s whining and whinging at his own blog.

Now Madam thinks he is up to the task? Madam, lover of shrieking and constant overuse of melisma? Judge for yourself.

Madam & Kris “Who” Allen singing with Brian “Attention Whore” May and Roger “Damn I’m Desperate”
Meadows Taylor

Compare with the master, the real champion Freddie Mercury

Sorry, Sparkle Cows, Adam Lambert ain’t no champion. He didn’t win “American Idol” and he’s not the champion of Queen. He’s not fit to hold Freddie’s old jock strap

Taking a gander over at the official Queen fan site I see that most of the hard core Queen fans are no more pleased than I am at the appearance of Adam in the Freddie slot.

Some interesting posts from Queen Online that seem to echo the general consensus that Madam plus what’s left of Queen is a terribly bad idea.

All this talk of Adam Lambert & Queenextravaganza is really just a state of cognitive dissonance. We, Brian & Roger all want MORE Queen. We want more of that magic from the four members of the greatest Rock band of all time. What a thrill. The amount of entertainment and good times millions of people have felt because of that “Magic”. 15 albums, DVDs, live bootlegs. It’s still not enough. But that’s a good thing. “Always leave them wanting more” is the key in showbiz.

But here is the reality. As great as Brian May, Roger Taylor & John Deacon are Queen would NOT have achieved this measure of greatness without that fearless, lunatic Freddie Mercury. He’s the main one that made them the champions. Freddie Mercury, with all his human foibles and bad personal choices, was one of a kind. He lived his life the way we are all too chickensh** (or wise) to do ourselves. He did whatever he wanted, he tasted everything, he tested all waters, pushed all envelopes, crossed all lines. The greatest rock & roll singer of recorded history.

Queen does not exist anymore. No matter how many “Queen +” projects they regurgitate. The Queen name should only be associated with Freddie Mercury’s involvement. There’s vault material with Freddie- there is more magic possible from the true Queen- outtakes, live shows, video. But without Freddie there is no Queen.

It’s as if Roger woke up one morning and said. Hey 40 Years? Let’s see if we can lose all credibility in the next ten years and obfuscate our memories of who really was the biggest creative force behind the band. The one who talked them into having another go at this band thing. The one who brilliantly named them. The one that designed their logo and image. Oh and just happened to make them millionaires by writing their first three hits. Who was that “one”? Hmmm Frank Merlin? Francis- Freddy Fender- aw who knows. Fast forward to 2021. Yeah, “Queen +”. “I remember them. They had like a different singer every few years or something, didn’t they?” but I know the names Roger Taylor & Brian May and they must be Queen cause they say so. Queen + $$$$.

Re: Dream Queen+Adam Lambert Set List

My dream Queen+Adam Lambert set would be something like this:

Brian walks out on stage at the first gig and says ‘sorry, folks, me and Rog misjudged this one – probably not for the first time – we can’t go on stage and play an entire set with an X-Factor winner. It wouldn’t be right. You can collect a full refund on your way out. Cheers.’
My ideal setlist:
1. 45-minute warm-up acoustic set with Brian and Roger.
2. Lambert joins them on stage and announces to get ready for the best Queen-related concert ever.
3. Huge movie screens drop down.
4. The long awaited Live at Hammersmith concert [or insert your fav Queen concert here] begins in Hi Def, 3D stereo as Lambert leaves the stage.
5. Audience enjoys the best Queen concert ever

The Queen fans may not be in love with the idea but the Sparkle Cows are living in delusion land as usual. They are starting to whine that Queen fans aren’t accepting of Lambert as the singer because, get this, they are a bunch of homophobes. Yes, Sparkle Cows trot out their most tired and ridiculous of all stupid excuses. Like no one could tell that Freddie Mercury was gay? Seriously?

I think when an iconic band has been around as long as Queen has, and when the lead singer tragically dies, there is a sort of understandable loyalty among the die hards to the music and the deceased. I remember, for instance, after Elvis’ death, as other entertainers started doing his songs, there was backlash. So the reaction isn’t surprising. I think some die hards fear Adam will become a permanent fixture in the band and “replace” Freddie, which ain’t gonna happen.

I also understand that not everyone will love Adam as I do. That’s ok. There’s room for all of us. The only time I get irked by Queen fans bashing on Adam is if they say he can’t sing (gotta be tone deaf there, lol ) or if it seems to be coming from a homophobic attitude, which is hilarious considering Freddie’s sexual preference. Some of the bigoted fans accepted Freddie as long as he played the DADT game, I guess, and can’t handle Adam’s openness, and then there are those who are still in denial about it.

Hey, Adam’s not for everyone. But it sure looks like a lot of Queen fans enjoyed him at the EMAs! I’m not concerned about those temper tantrumming over this. Adam’s gonna blow them away at Sonisphere!


Ah, KatieJ, bucking to be mod over at AO unsuccessfully yet again. Freddie Mercury was NEVER DADT. He was out. Adam disdain has nothing to do with sexuality, but sheer talent. Putting Madam in Freddie’s place in the band is like asking Justin Bieber to fill in for Pavarotti in an opera.

More babbling from the Sparkle Cows…

am sure that some Queen fans will not like anyone who sings with Queen, and some will never like Adam no matter what he does. Those who call him a karaoke singer obviously don’t know anything about him at all. Adam fights the stigma of emerging from a reality show, and, of course, being gay. That is unfortunate FOR THEM. Nothing will change those whose minds are made up. Perhaps others who are less rigid will learn something. I don’t look for Adam to gain lots of fans from the rock and metal world; however, this is an opportunity for Adam to gain critical acclaim for his work and get huge amounts of publicity, publicity which I hope his management will capitalize upon. There will always be haters. As Adam himself has said, they serve to give him motivation. He is going to do a great job and hearing him sing live will be a test for their preconceived notions.

dont understand that Queen’S fan’s to batching Adam like that. Sad because that is not Adam to ask to Brian May or Paul Taylor that he want to be there frontman for that one concert at july 7 so its because Brian & Paul like the Adam’s voice and they like him very very much.

So why the Queen’s fan’s not understand that… The frontman they have the name of the singer are Paul or Roger dont remember for already many years tell me if there fan’s b****ing that guy like they b**** Adam’S? Poor guy..they accept now that guy for be the frontman and that guy dont want to replace Freddie like Adam’S dont want too. He just accept that huge invitation of Brian & Paul for give to Freddy’S memories. Thats it…

And like Katie,J said if they like Freddie considerating that Freddy’s orientation sexual life…its just hilarious like she said. Adam feel he always are a huge fan’s of Freddie and he will never want replace or mimic or tried to be Freddie…so its a little bit funny when you look all that.

On a bored evening recently I read through those Queenonline forum threads about Sonisphere. They were saying the place was busy because they had 70 or so posters logged in. The most negative posters were commenting again and again, magnifying their gripe. Many posters said that they weren’t planning to go anyway, regardless of the singer, and it seemed like the most negative posters were unhappy with almost everything Queen had done since Freddie passed decades ago. In spite of that in the newer posts, more members seemed to be coming to terms with the idea as other members argued the merits.

When we look at the fact that AO has about 500 fans online at any one moment, and is one of many many adam fan communities, (another one I frequent has about 250 members online each day, and 3,000-4,000 other viewers), it gives you a sense of how small that particular pool of Queen Online fans is compared to us, and the larger Queen fanbase as a whole. On another Adam site there are already more than 50 members who have bought Sonisphere tickets for example.

So basically I ended up feeling a little sorry for that particular forum, and the blustering and hair-pulling in the “purist” rock fan and Queen fan world makes very little difference because those Sonisphere tickets are very likely to sell out regardless of the complaining of a small portion of Queen fans who really weren’t planning to make the effort to go anyway.

I think there are plenty of Queen fans who are okay with, or enthusiastic about the idea. I’ve heard the Sonisphere forums are general positive on the idea, although I haven’t checked myself. For hardcore ‘Freddie or no one’ fans, I empathize, and think the antipathy really has little to do with Adam. A different singer would fall short for them in different ways, but would still fall short in their eyes.

Those poor Queen fans have no earthly idea what they are in for with the Sparkle Cows. This should be interesting to see as the Sparkle Cows go even nuttier and attack.

Harrassing David Cook’s Management? That’s Smart, NOT!

February 25, 2012

Sassycatz and Angie, come on down, you are the next contests in the Tard Is Wrong contest.

Thanks to alisha in our comments we get to see this little gem from Cooktard extrodinare Sassycatz.

Sassycatz: I hope you all know that DAVID’S MANAGEMENT has a twitter account:

@debrakay23 We’ve been bothering RCA forever. Now’s XIX’s turn. They’ve not been doing their job.

Sassycatz: I didn’t know they had a twitter account but now that I do, watch out! They are on NOTICE!!!!!

Sassycatz: @ImperfectSong Sorry, expecting them to do their fucking jobs, which I have not noticed them doing at all.

Sassycatz: If anyone has a problem with that, stop following me right now because I am going to be on their tails.

So Sassycatz is harassing XIX Management, trying to get others to join in and freely admitting to having done this to RCA records? Some poor flunky is having to read her online repeated bullshit attempts to harass them. So so classy Sassycatz! Tard points for you!!!!

And how does Webster’s define “Harrass”?

Definition of HARASS
transitive verb
a : exhaust, fatigue b (1) : to annoy persistently (2) : to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct
: to worry and impede by repeated raids
— ha·rass·er noun
— ha·rass·ment

Stay classy Sassy!

And on another off-note it seems that David Cook’s former guitarist and friend Neal Tiemann just got wind of Angie’s precious little book filled with photos of Cook and everyone surrounding him, including some of Neal and MWKs with their lyrics and other possibly copyrighted materials. Like the whole book isn’t intellectual theft of property and copyrights in the first place. He’s pissed and Angie has backed off by removing the materials related to MWKs and Neal in an attempt to appease him. Too bad, I was looking forward to seeing Neal lose it and take her to court over her obvious attempt to bleed the tards for money with other peoples copyrighted materials. Good luck with that. I sincerely hope no one is dumb enough to pay a dime for this ‘book’.

Who does Angie think she is? Pizza screaming book scamming tard Daina?

As usual send all your hate mail to me at the usual addy. See ya!

Adam Lambert Fans Suck At NoH8

February 22, 2012

It is with much amusement that I’ve been watching Adam Lambert’s fans scramble to explain why his newest single and video seem to have flopped. Some are blaming it on the label not spending any promotion dollars, others say he has been repressed in his genius by TPTB but mostly they are blaming it on plain old vanilla garden variety homo-hatin’. The fact that the video is filled with pretentiously painful overacting by the Glittery One or the less than dulcet tones of the song never seem to enter their minds. It’s always homophibians (their word, not mine) Evil homophibians did it, along with every other career no-no Adam has had.

The Sparkle Cows cannot accept that perhaps their golden boy might possibly be a high-handed prima donna with less than marketable product. The great unwashed public has spoken. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation at all. It’s more to do with tastes, the market and quality of the product.

Yeah, it’s not like any of them are actual LGBT activists in the first place. They only speak up when it involves Adam. Before they discovered Adam I suspect many of them had nothing but disdain for alternative sexualities. They’ve sure been silent on the recent overturn of Prop 8 in California Not one of them or their Idol have addressed the growing problem of suicide among bullied gay teens. They never comment on these things, they never respond, give time or money to LGBT causes unless Adam tells them to. Some gay activists they are.

During the last few Republican presidential hopefuls debates I’ve hung out in Adam’s brother Neil’s chatroom and just observed what many of the Adam fans there had to say during the debates. Scarily it seemed like a significant number of them expounded on their political beliefs like card-carrying Tea Party members, the type not exactly open to the needs of the LGBT community. That’s when they weren’t licking Neil’s ass like it might get them two steps closer to Adam.

But I have to admit I’m curious after Lambert announced he was no longer going to be doing the glitter thing any longer, that his style would be more organic. What exactly does that even mean?

I know one thing about it, whatever that style is I can see a bunch of his Sparkle Cows copying it like good little cult members. The leader is good the leader is great…..

The Dave Cave – David Cook Fan FullyCOOKed

February 13, 2012

This keeps popping up in comments and many times in my email box. It’s a video made by a tard that goes by the nom de plume “FullyCOOKed” After seeing the video I don’t think she’s fully cooked, more like half baked. See for yourself below.

Seriously, what grown person does this? It’s just plain old creepy and wrong in a ‘it puts the lotion on it’s skin or it gets the hose’ way. I would love to know how FullyCOOKed explained her masturbatorium to her significant other. “Uh honey, you know I love you but Dave is my world now… don’t come into this room without knocking or giving me a ten minute warning..” Any other being would realize upon seeing this thing that they aren’t held in much respect or love at all.

Boggles my mind that FullyCOOKed took the video, uploaded it and posted the link for everyone to see. Whoring for attention again? Trying for alpha tard status?

The only time it’s okay to go this nuts papering a room with a strangers mug is when you’re a hapless teenybopper in love with whoever 16 Magazine is pushing this month. Grown-assed women NOT in the mental hospital do not do this..

Adam Lambert Sparkle Cows Rampage

February 6, 2012

One thing has been very intriguing this week. Watching the Sparkle Cow Herd try to analyze Adam’s new video for his so-so single and the premature squealing when he announced prematurely that he would be joining Queen on tour this summer.

Madam claims he was quoted out of context on the Queen thing but rereading the text it doesn’t seem much like it. It comes across more like ‘I was high when I said that’ Twinks, blow and booze – the breakfast of champions. But before he retracted his words even Rolling Stone and other legit media outlets picked up on it.

The comments of the Sparkle Cows on the articles are some of the funniest stuff ever. This one has to be Kerry Kolsch in disguise or one of her sycophants..

Darlene Moak | 33 minutes ago

This is to the people trying to make some sort of point (however lame) regarding who actually won American Idol. Adam SHOULD have won but people in Arkansas (Kris Allen’s home state) have so little to do that they successfully stole the win from Adam. And which singer do we currently hear anything about? I don’t think it’s Kris Allen (with apologies – Kris is a great guy & he & Adam get along extremely well).

Dumbass, the article had nothing to say about Kris Allen or gaming the winning. Sore loser still after all this time.

On to the video for “Better Than I Know Myself” – It’s theme is familiar to anyone viewing music videos through the years, the duality of self. Pink did it in “Sober”, Alanis Morisette did it in “Isn’t It Ironic” along with many other artists. You get Bad Adam and Good Adam. Good Adam seems to be a carbon copy of last year American Idol also ran James Durbin. Adam looks most Durbinesque in this video. Is there any symbolism in the cow skulls used in the shoot I wonder? Veiled reference to the Sparkle Cows?

Instead of a normal reaction to a video by one of your favorite artists the Cows have gone way overboard again and proclaimed this The Second Coming of Michaelangelo!! An explosion of artistic genius along with imbuing every scintilla of the video with hidden meanings while creaming over ‘Dark Adam’. Get your puke buckets ready.

This thread does bring up something interesting, though. On one level, I think it the video illustrates the struggle Adam went through to embrace his sexual orientation. The two dualities look like the younger Adam, with all that ginger-hued light, and the older, more experienced Adam in the darker frame. The anger he displays is understandable as a manifestation of the frustration and self-doubt and feeling of being trapped that anyone might feel who couldn’t express who he really is. Anybody would react that way. And the way in which the “dark” Adam is the one who breaks through further suggests that moment when self-acceptance occurs. It’s not that the “dark” Adam is in any way “bad”, which some people seem to be interpreting it to me, it’s that he’s in a dark place emotionally, and he’s trying to find a way to get out of it. To reach out to himself and say “We can’t keep on living separately like this, we need each other or we’re not gonna make it, we’re gonna run out of air, if we don’t get outta here the fire in our blood is gonna burn us up and our heart is gonna split open.” On one level it is an illustration that repressing any part of yourself will destroy you.

Forgot to add this– That’s why at the end he’s out in the open, free, he’s integrated his dueling halves, and he’s ready to launch into “Trespassing”, to tell the world that he’s not gonna be kept out.

Make their faces crack
there’s no turnin back.
Let’s GO!

Anything Adam does has something to do with sex. Eye-wink

@Sastenio- I have a thread about all the contrasts in the video and I have been going through frame by frame and picking things out. You are really good with symbolism and explaining it. There is a giant white chess piece, the knight, as a sculpture on the dark side. LightAdam tries to engage DarkAdam into playing Chess. On the Chess board the white pieces are moved and the black pieces have only one move made and that is the knight. Any thoughts? It seems to me that not a single frame’s details were random selected. I even tried to enlarge the books to see what they were.

Really, this video is a tremendous work of art. If, as I define it in the Theater Appreciation class that I teach, art makes you think and question your own values, this certainly qualifies. I have read so many different (though related) interpretations, each valid and interesting. And every time I watch I (and so may of you) see something I’d not noticed before.

Has anybody mentioned the difference in the “framing” of each side– the dark side looks as if the viewing hole has been ripped open, while the light side has smooth edges? Also the difference in the film quality– the dark side is jittery and herky, while the light side is smooth and clean.

Also, I love it that the bridge is the only part of the song filmed in equally split screen– both Adams singing together where the layering of the vocals is the most obvious and exposed.

@lauriellen, I hadn’t noticed the individual chess pieces before, but I think you’re right that nothing in the set of this video was randomly done. Regarding the knight, the first thing that comes to my mind is the meaning of the Knights in a deck of tarot cards–they are all messengers of some sort. So I could hazard a guess that the two knights in each frame are a symbol of communication between the two Adams. I would also guess light Adam’s attempt to play chess symbolizes an attempt to intellectually grapple with the issue(s), while dark Adam is essentially saying “Dude, screw that, we can’t think our way out of this” to that approach, literally tearing pages out of books and displaying emotional havoc–which actually is the approach that leads to an escape.

Either that or we’re reading waaaaaay too much into it all. Maybe we’re reading our text “too close”, as it’s called in academia. Actually though, as I said, I think every little thing in this video has meaning. I agree with @MoovieBassets, it’s brilliant.

Well, I tried to say it, and my post got poofed, but I feel so strongly about it, I’m gonna try again! LOL

I really think that, for different reasons, Adam’s BTIKM video is truly as brilliant as MJ’s Thriller was in it’s day. Some may not like me making that kind of comparison, but I remember clearly the effect MJ’s Thriller video had on the music video industry, and somehow BTIKM feels much the same way to me.

It may be because it’s struck a somewhat “personal” chord in me (Maybe it has for others, too.), but…this video is truly beyond BRILLIANT for oh so many reasons.

There…I said it out loud…now I feel better. lol

Oh, bitch please! “Thriller”???? Seriously???? If Sparkle Cows know what’s good for them they will stay far far away from the Michael Jackson tards. They make the Sparkle Cows look like a Sunday School class.

But not everyone is creaming their 6XL panties in anticipation of “Trepassing” This site has it listed as the 5th least anticipated musical release of 2012. But he seems to labor under the delusion that all the Adam crazy fans are either 12 year old girls or the offensive flamingly stereotype of gay men. He doesn’t understand about the middle aged crazy that is a Sparkle Cow. Strangely enough there is very little Sparkle Cow attack mode going on in the comments of the article. Perhaps the Cows haven’t seen it yet?

Thanks for the laughs all you over the top super invested Madam fans!