Adam Lambert Sparkle Cows Rampage

One thing has been very intriguing this week. Watching the Sparkle Cow Herd try to analyze Adam’s new video for his so-so single and the premature squealing when he announced prematurely that he would be joining Queen on tour this summer.

Madam claims he was quoted out of context on the Queen thing but rereading the text it doesn’t seem much like it. It comes across more like ‘I was high when I said that’ Twinks, blow and booze – the breakfast of champions. But before he retracted his words even Rolling Stone and other legit media outlets picked up on it.

The comments of the Sparkle Cows on the articles are some of the funniest stuff ever. This one has to be Kerry Kolsch in disguise or one of her sycophants..

Darlene Moak | 33 minutes ago

This is to the people trying to make some sort of point (however lame) regarding who actually won American Idol. Adam SHOULD have won but people in Arkansas (Kris Allen’s home state) have so little to do that they successfully stole the win from Adam. And which singer do we currently hear anything about? I don’t think it’s Kris Allen (with apologies – Kris is a great guy & he & Adam get along extremely well).

Dumbass, the article had nothing to say about Kris Allen or gaming the winning. Sore loser still after all this time.

On to the video for “Better Than I Know Myself” – It’s theme is familiar to anyone viewing music videos through the years, the duality of self. Pink did it in “Sober”, Alanis Morisette did it in “Isn’t It Ironic” along with many other artists. You get Bad Adam and Good Adam. Good Adam seems to be a carbon copy of last year American Idol also ran James Durbin. Adam looks most Durbinesque in this video. Is there any symbolism in the cow skulls used in the shoot I wonder? Veiled reference to the Sparkle Cows?

Instead of a normal reaction to a video by one of your favorite artists the Cows have gone way overboard again and proclaimed this The Second Coming of Michaelangelo!! An explosion of artistic genius along with imbuing every scintilla of the video with hidden meanings while creaming over ‘Dark Adam’. Get your puke buckets ready.

This thread does bring up something interesting, though. On one level, I think it the video illustrates the struggle Adam went through to embrace his sexual orientation. The two dualities look like the younger Adam, with all that ginger-hued light, and the older, more experienced Adam in the darker frame. The anger he displays is understandable as a manifestation of the frustration and self-doubt and feeling of being trapped that anyone might feel who couldn’t express who he really is. Anybody would react that way. And the way in which the “dark” Adam is the one who breaks through further suggests that moment when self-acceptance occurs. It’s not that the “dark” Adam is in any way “bad”, which some people seem to be interpreting it to me, it’s that he’s in a dark place emotionally, and he’s trying to find a way to get out of it. To reach out to himself and say “We can’t keep on living separately like this, we need each other or we’re not gonna make it, we’re gonna run out of air, if we don’t get outta here the fire in our blood is gonna burn us up and our heart is gonna split open.” On one level it is an illustration that repressing any part of yourself will destroy you.

Forgot to add this– That’s why at the end he’s out in the open, free, he’s integrated his dueling halves, and he’s ready to launch into “Trespassing”, to tell the world that he’s not gonna be kept out.

Make their faces crack
there’s no turnin back.
Let’s GO!

Anything Adam does has something to do with sex. Eye-wink

@Sastenio- I have a thread about all the contrasts in the video and I have been going through frame by frame and picking things out. You are really good with symbolism and explaining it. There is a giant white chess piece, the knight, as a sculpture on the dark side. LightAdam tries to engage DarkAdam into playing Chess. On the Chess board the white pieces are moved and the black pieces have only one move made and that is the knight. Any thoughts? It seems to me that not a single frame’s details were random selected. I even tried to enlarge the books to see what they were.

Really, this video is a tremendous work of art. If, as I define it in the Theater Appreciation class that I teach, art makes you think and question your own values, this certainly qualifies. I have read so many different (though related) interpretations, each valid and interesting. And every time I watch I (and so may of you) see something I’d not noticed before.

Has anybody mentioned the difference in the “framing” of each side– the dark side looks as if the viewing hole has been ripped open, while the light side has smooth edges? Also the difference in the film quality– the dark side is jittery and herky, while the light side is smooth and clean.

Also, I love it that the bridge is the only part of the song filmed in equally split screen– both Adams singing together where the layering of the vocals is the most obvious and exposed.

@lauriellen, I hadn’t noticed the individual chess pieces before, but I think you’re right that nothing in the set of this video was randomly done. Regarding the knight, the first thing that comes to my mind is the meaning of the Knights in a deck of tarot cards–they are all messengers of some sort. So I could hazard a guess that the two knights in each frame are a symbol of communication between the two Adams. I would also guess light Adam’s attempt to play chess symbolizes an attempt to intellectually grapple with the issue(s), while dark Adam is essentially saying “Dude, screw that, we can’t think our way out of this” to that approach, literally tearing pages out of books and displaying emotional havoc–which actually is the approach that leads to an escape.

Either that or we’re reading waaaaaay too much into it all. Maybe we’re reading our text “too close”, as it’s called in academia. Actually though, as I said, I think every little thing in this video has meaning. I agree with @MoovieBassets, it’s brilliant.

Well, I tried to say it, and my post got poofed, but I feel so strongly about it, I’m gonna try again! LOL

I really think that, for different reasons, Adam’s BTIKM video is truly as brilliant as MJ’s Thriller was in it’s day. Some may not like me making that kind of comparison, but I remember clearly the effect MJ’s Thriller video had on the music video industry, and somehow BTIKM feels much the same way to me.

It may be because it’s struck a somewhat “personal” chord in me (Maybe it has for others, too.), but…this video is truly beyond BRILLIANT for oh so many reasons.

There…I said it out loud…now I feel better. lol

Oh, bitch please! “Thriller”???? Seriously???? If Sparkle Cows know what’s good for them they will stay far far away from the Michael Jackson tards. They make the Sparkle Cows look like a Sunday School class.

But not everyone is creaming their 6XL panties in anticipation of “Trepassing” This site has it listed as the 5th least anticipated musical release of 2012. But he seems to labor under the delusion that all the Adam crazy fans are either 12 year old girls or the offensive flamingly stereotype of gay men. He doesn’t understand about the middle aged crazy that is a Sparkle Cow. Strangely enough there is very little Sparkle Cow attack mode going on in the comments of the article. Perhaps the Cows haven’t seen it yet?

Thanks for the laughs all you over the top super invested Madam fans!

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28 Comments on “Adam Lambert Sparkle Cows Rampage”

  1. Tess Tickle Says:

    Jesus, are these moronic women serious? How they read so much nonsensical crap into every little thing that he does is mind blowing. The video was hilarious, his “acting” was so over the top it was laughable, and the song sucks. It was pretty funny to watch without sound though, cartoon sound effects would fit the video perfectly. They must have had a very low budget, you can kind of tell. Also, I do think he must be trying to look like Durbin, the similarities are really noticable.

    • nonna-muss Says:

      Did one of those Sparkling Bovine say that she’s looking at the video frame by frame??????? Who has that much time to kill? I watched his video and once was enough. The Durbin resemblance is uncanny. The storyline is one that’s been done to death. *yawn*

      That article about the least anticipated record releases is too funny. I especially love how he screencapped some of the herd’s comments of outrage from his last article. That was like the yummy icing on the cake!

      • Tess Tickle Says:

        What was funny in that article is how they think Lambert’s fans are teenagers. That made me laugh. Oh, if they only knew.

      • nerdgirl Says:

        Sparkle Cows mental development is at the 12-year-old level, so people may get confused. It is hard to imagine that this kind of drivel coming out of grown up women.

  2. B York Says:

    The video is such a literal interpretation of some pretty cliched lyrics. I couldn’t bear watching it with sound more than once but I saw how the edit went to a quick close-up of the “bare” tree branches to the word “winter”. So powerful, not.

    I think the acting is so over the top that it’s hilarious. Some of the fans interpret it as intentional, as if it’s some inside “wink, wink” joke, therefore making the video so incredibly deep on multiple levels. LOL.

    I’m starting to think that his lack of acting skills limited how far he would ever get in Broadway musicals. If he were really the second coming vocally, why did he never manage to get anything but understudy to supporting roles.


  3. “On one level, I think it the video illustrates the struggle Adam went through to embrace his sexual orientation.”
    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    And WTF with the chess pieces? Really?

  4. Rubber Ducky Says:

    I started cheering when Madam started choking in the video.

  5. Amusedbyfandom Says:

    Imagine what these tards could have done with the Zapruder film. Would have put those magic bullet theories to rest right away, lol.

    The video is as cliched and boring as the song. The overacting with his angry fierce face is comedy gold ( I’m pretty sure laugher wasn’t the goal). The song still hasn’t made any impact on CHR, after this many weeks it probably won’t. Wonder how the sparkle cows will handle that.

  6. Mr. Nero Says:

    There once was a sparkling herd
    who after much mooing concurred
    Madam’s shit didn’t stink
    but they’d learn, you would think
    that you really can’t polish a turd.

  7. Beauxcefus Says:

    My prediction —> Lambert is going to pretty much flop like Cook and Archuleta w/his singles and CD saleswise and on radio. Saving my comments on Kris’s until it’s his turn at bat, but it’s much the same. The handwriting is on the wall, there seems to be a pattern playing out for these 2nd CD Idols. The lies, spinning and delusions and udder disbelief that America and the US music industry and radio is over Adam will create meltdowns in the Glambert fandom that will be tons more entertaining than watching Cook’s tards sputter and spin and come to grips with his failure. Lambert’s PR team will give him a big push and promo, but it will come to naught. His 15 mins are up, he’s no longer the shiny new and kinda interesting poster boy that the gay and mainstream media will be devoting lots of attention to. It’s going to get ugly (and fun!) at places like MJ’s with the excuses and delusions… tripling my popcorn order for this rollout 🙂

    • B York Says:

      North America is too homophibian for the likes of David Hasselhoff and Adam Lambert. He’ll be a hit in Germany 🙂

      • freedavidcook Says:

        Funny you should mention that B York. Back in those days between ‘Knightrider’ and ‘Baywatch’ I was living in Germany. Flipping through the 3 or so channels I got I tuned in just in time to see some cheesy variety show announce, ‘Eine grosse American star (my German is in fail mode now – Herr David Hasselhoff!!!’ and out he strutted in too tight jeans, hairy hairy chest on display and some ridiculous light up leather jacket to sing, “Looking For Freedom” I nearly fell off the sofa in surprise. And the silly song ended up being a huge hit in Deuschsland!

        I can see Madam doing quite well on the Eurotrash Electronic charts. He’d been huge in Germany.

      • nonna-muss Says:

        Now’s the time on Schrpockets ven vee donce!!!

    • Rubber Ducky Says:

      It’s the normal cycle. The contestants don’t pick up any fans outside the Idol bubble. And at ;east 50% of them lose interest and move on within months of the season end. That’s why they pump out the first album so quickly. Years have gone by and the add audience are primarily tv viewers first, music fans a long second. Madam’s 2nd album will be full of dreck reject songs written by b list song writers who know the songs are duds and sell them off. No one bar the herd will want to buy it.

      And so it continues. S11 is about to bring out new suckers.

  8. just don't get it Says:

    I would have to say that the last AI contestant that has actually increased their fanbase since being on the show would be Chris Daughtry? And overall i think there would only be 3 – Kelly, Carrie and Chris. Anyone agree/disagree?

    • Amusedbyfandom Says:

      Can’t disagree on the face of that but dig a little deeper and the story is more complex.

      Carrie is country, a genre that doesn’t give a shit if you were discovered on Idol. Her genre embraced her.

      Kelly after trying to go for a more mature sound with “My December” and getting slapped down by evil Clive Davis, she had to go back to doing the same female empowerment glossy pop that Katy Perry, etc. are doing in order to get play on Top40 radio.

      Chris had tremendous success with his first record and has been selling less each time. His latest single has been top 10 I believe on HAC but gotten very little play on TOP 40 radio unlike his previous hit singles. After all these years, he still gets almost no spins on rock radio. A charity concert Daughtry performed to benefit military veterans in late 2011 only managed to sell 60% of tickets. I don’t know how his current is selling. Anyone?

      When Carrie, Kelly and Chris came off of Idol, the radio climate and support was very different than it is now. The changes in the music industry have been immense since their respective time on Idol. It becomes an apple to oranges comparison after a while.

      • Amusedbyfandom Says:

        Crap, missed a whole word: current tour* is selling

      • Rubber Ducky Says:

        Creed clones have fallen out of favor. So PWE is in the same slide into obscurity as the rest. The only one with actual, worldwide, stardom and longevity is Kelly.

      • nonna-muss Says:

        All of PWE’s songs sound exactly the same to me. I never could like him, no matter how I tried.

        The good thing that David has going for him is his songwriting. He’s got a few songs out there that he wrote, not top 40, but his music is out there whether he’s singing it or not. Arrows To Athens comes to mind as one band he wrote for.

      • Amusedbyfandom Says:

        PWE? I’m assuming that’s Chris but someone needs to explain that one to me, lol.

      • nonna-muss Says:

        It’s Chris, it stands for Penis With Ears.

      • Amusedbyfandom Says:

        LOL, thanks Nonna, I never would have guessed that. I’ll never look at Chris the same way again. 🙂

      • freedavidcook Says:

        Ick! I’ll never look at a bald man the same way again.. thanks for the visual Nonna

  9. Twat Says:

    They want to ride him so bad and turn a gay man straight!!!! Lol lol.


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