Queen Fans Beware of Adam Lambert’s Sparkle Cows
Oh lawdy, the news continues. Apparently Queen + Madam are playing another date, not just the Sonisphere Fest at Knebworth. They will be playing a week earlier in Moscow at the Olympic Arena. Moscow Russia, not Moscow Idaho. Info about that has come out in a press release from Queen Official. Ticket sales haven’t started but warning for the Sparkle Cows – the site is auf paruski (in Russian) so better get your favorite translator to help you buy those tickets. I’m wondering why there’s a photo of “House” star Hugh Laurie on the site and not one of Queen but have to wait for my favorite Russian translator to come home from work and be my peravochic. I suspect Hugh is playing or hosting something in Moscow.
So the real question is, how many Sparkle Cows versus how many Queen fans will travel to Knebworth and/or Moscow? And will there be blood and glitter on the floor of the venue.
Dear Queen fans, this is what you can expect from Adam Lambert’s Sparkle Cows. They are aggressive, very aggressive. They will elbow, instep stomp, shin kick, shriek, push and accuse of homophobia anyone that tries to stop them from pushing through the crowd and right up against the stage. I’d recommend wearing a pair of steel toed Doc Martins to deal with them. You’ll see them coming from far away, a herd of fat glitter and paint middle aged women with unfortunate hair. They’ll come in lock step and try to mow down anyone in their way from the front of the stage. I oh so wish to be a fly on the wall the second Brian May has to look down in that sea of deluded sparkling fug at his feet. The look on his face will be worth seeing.
You lot are about to come into contact with the craziest most obsessional fan base you’ve ever seen. They’ll likely attack anyone that tries to bottle Madam. As the gigs get nearer they are going to start clashing with any Queen fans on the boards, probably saying things like ‘Queen should be GRATEFUL to have Adam!” and act like Madam is more talented than Brian or Roger Taylor. They will be frustrating, they will be obtuse, they will be unreasoning. Good luck because you’re going to need it.
ETA: This wonderful video by a Queen fan comparing Madam’s singing to Gene Pitney… they both have goaty notes.. maaaaaahhhhExplore posts in the same categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Adam Lambert, American Idol, bitch slapping & shrieking, Brian May, Brian May Insane Whore, Crazy bitches, Fan clash, Fan Wars, Fantards, Frau, Insane Fans, International Dumbasses, middle age crisis, Queen, Queen fans, Roger Taylor, Sparkle Cows, The Ultimate in Ugly Americans, Those poor RussiansYou can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.