Adam Lambert Sparkle Cow Says Queen Fans Are “Tards”

I got a comment on the other post positing that Queen fans are also ‘Tards’ from a Sparkle Cow. Here it is..

Whats the term you are using here a lot about David Cook “tards”: entitled fans or something like that? Seems to me there is suddenly many entitled Queen fans telling Brian May what to do with his band. A bit funny, that.

I had to answer them because they still don’t get it. But why am I surprised since they are stuck in a delusion they have been trying to rationalize away for three years now. It’s really about the music.

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No, there is a difference. Queen fantards do not do the crazy things that Idol fans seem to do. I’ve yet to hear of a flat Freddie or Brian May being toted around, birthday parties being set up with decorated cakes, trackers stuffed under buses, tattoos of band members or lyrics on someone’s feet or back. Granted there are always tards in most every fan pack, but I am just not seeing the same percentage or level of crazy that Idol fans bring.

Thinking the difference is that Idol contestants are on television for weeks on end, allowing those that aren’t real music fans to feel ‘connected’ to the Idol because of the tv exposure, hence the crazy overconnection i.e. pararelationalism that occurs. People who’s primary concern is the actual music would never act like that, just the ones that see something pretty and sparkly on tv and project all their desires upon, like the Sparkle Cows.

Basically most of the Idol contestants and some (many) of the winners are nothing more than televised karaoke singers. Daughtry isn’t. Bowersox isn’t. and there aren’t too many more than aren’t.. Nicki McKibbin has potential.

And it isn’t always their own fault. Guys like Cook hone their stagecraft by years of playing other peoples music in cover bands in bars throughout the country. Taylor did that. I can’t explain Clay Aiken, there is no explanation except to say the site is getting an unusual number of hits asking if he’s had plastic surgery, or did he do the female to male surgery pre Idol or is he doing the male to female surgery now. All very puzzling.

But it really does all go back to the music, which is what all you tards forget, falling in love with some guy you see on tv and listening to any stupid dreck he might record.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the comments below the Sparkle Cow someone pointed out that Queen is not Brian May’s personal band to do what he wants with. He was part of it, not the main part of it. Queen started out as four separate dudes with the same stake in the band.

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22 Comments on “Adam Lambert Sparkle Cow Says Queen Fans Are “Tards””

  1. Rubber Ducky Says:

    How very “I know you are but what am I?” level of juvenile logic.

    If it has to be explained to you, cow, you are too stupid to breathe.

  2. kara oakey Says:

    “Thinking the difference is that Idol contestants are on television for weeks on end, allowing those that aren’t real music fans to feel ‘connected’ to the Idol because of the tv exposure, hence the crazy overconnection i.e. pararelationalism that occurs. People who’s primary concern is the actual music would never act like that, just the ones that see something pretty and sparkly on tv and project all their desires upon, like the Sparkle Cows.”

    Well said. My post wasn’t meant as some sort of fan group one-upsmanship. I was merely expressing my disgust. If an artist wants to cover a Queen song…great. Even tribute bands are a blast, but everyone knows it’s tongue-in-cheek and the audience isn’t being lied to. If Brian May wants to form a band with a revolving door of front men, so be it….just don’t call that band Queen. Brian May isn’t, and never was, Queen. You can’t try to pass off some some craft fair velvet Elvis as a Ruebens. If you enjoy velvetty Elvis, piiia, that’s great…but don’t try selling him to me.

  3. sogosueme Says:

    “And it isn’t always their own fault. Guys like Cook hone their stagecraft by years of playing other peoples music in cover bands in bars throughout the country.”

    Tard moment. Indulge me…

    Cook didn’t spend years, or even a minute, playing other people’s music in a cover band. I think his first band Axium put out at least 6 or 7 albums of original music, including a couple of live albums. And then there was Cook’s solo pre-Idol album, for which he won a Tulsa Indie Album of the Year award (and Tulsa has a pretty vibrant and renowned Indie music scene). At most he might have played one, maybe two, covers a show, which is typical of many artists, including Daughtry.

    Now I’m not arguing that his original music is good, heh, but credit where credit is due, the guy is not just a karaoke singer.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      Not entirely sure I buy that just based upon old bar band experience. Most of the time you better have at least one set of covers or you’re not going to get much work…

      However, I could be wrong.

      • Fluffy Says:

        From my indie music manager days – the group I managed and the other ones we played with usually sprinkled in covers because, of course, the audience eats that shit up even if your own music isn’t really hitting them (especially since often they don’t know you or your music). I didn’t run across any that played mostly covers unless they were a cover band. And I have no beef with cover bands because unless you hit the jackpot and start making cash on your own music – cover bands are where the money’s at. My guys were well aware of that and often considered doing covers instead lol.

        I can see why you’d grab something like Idol to get your chance, and I can see why doing that can turn out to be not quite what you bargained for. On the other hand, you can go from sleeping on someone’s couch and working a day job driving a delivery truck and doing countless gigs at night and on the weekends (like one of my guys) to being able to make a living doing music – even if you’re not a superstar – so maybe the trade off is ok after all. I wouldn’t presume to speak for any of these folks 🙂 Mine never made it and they’re back to being just plain old people. They are in the majority, by far.

    • nonna-muss Says:

      As I was reading above I thought I was going to have to unbury my tard card from its hiding place in the backyard. Cook’s pre-Idol bands played all original music with a cover or two during the sets. I think both Axium and MWK were well known enough in the music scene in the Midwest to get gigs playing original music.

      I guess I can put my shovel away and leave my tard card undisturbed.

    • Beauxcefus Says:

      Then why do I enough his ‘karoake’ stylings and Idol covers MORE than his original material? *ponders* I admit to being underwhelmed with CD’S 1 and 2 post Idol, and I’m not completely sure why… Some artists and singers are like that – they come across more effectively and satisfying as singers of other people’s material… doesn’t always have to be covers – some just cannot connect with the audience in the same way with their original material as they may using co-writes, or singing material written for them… It’s nothing to be defensive about, it’s just one of those things…Be honest Cook Fans… has he released anything post Idol that resonated as strongly or sounded as good as him covering ABMB? Billie Jean? Little Sparrow? Music of the Night? TWIK? I know he’s got the goods – I’m not sure he’s found the right way/manner/method/formula/team to harness it and get those goods over more effectively.

      • Beauxcefus Says:

        That oughta read, “Why do I enjoy his karoake stylings”

      • freedavidcook Says:

        I liked his version of “Music of the Night” but there was nothing original about it. His inflections, pauses and vibrato were straight off the film version and the cast cd.

      • Fluffy Says:

        Some of his Idol stuff is still up there with my favorites too 🙂 – nothing wrong with that! I didn’t really like “Music of the Night” much but love “Billie Jean,” “The World I Know” and “Little Sparrow” lots.

        I seem to like the slower and/or darker stuff – I love “Goodbye to the Girl” from the latest album, and “Circadian.” Love “Finish Line” from Axium days and “Therapy,” “Lie” from his first album, and “Makeover” from Analog Heart. I don’t love every song he ever does. That might mean I have to hand in my fan card, though. One thing about the above-mentioned covers – they are amazing songs. Seems like there are a lot of folks who like his voice but not his songs so far. Maybe he’ll deliver a great one eventually (or not, you never know). I like a lot of his stuff but I wouldn’t put anything up there with those classics quite yet!

      • Rubber Ducky Says:

        You mean his covers of other people’s covers?

  4. Tess Tickle Says:

    At least the fans of Meatloaf are normal. I’m a huge Meatloaf fan, anyone else out there a fan?

    • Ali Says:

      I loved him in Rocky Horror lol!

      • Tess Tickle Says:

        lol, Ali, I was just kind of kidding, although I do like him a bit. Meatloaf said something complimantary about Lambert now the cows think Meatloaf is the greatest thing sinced sliced bread. Cow says “Well, you know, MEATLOAF said Adam can sing, and Meatloaf knows what he’s talking about”. The cows all jumped on the Meatloaf bandwagon.

      • freedavidcook Says:

        I cannot think about Mr Meat without remembering his epic meltdown last year on Celebrity Apprentice where he went nuts on Gary Busey, accusing him of stealing Loaf’s sponges and spray paints.

      • Tess Tickle Says:

        “Complimentary”, sorry.

  5. mousie Says:

    I did actually know a huge Queen tard. I used to work with her, and she seemed fairly normal. I went round for dinner and she had Queen pictures, a Queen clock and a Freddie shrine.

    She also went to conventions, they went to some holiday park and had their own cover band.

    There was apparently epic butthurt that the concert or concerts with Paul Rodgers clashed with the date that the fan club had been meeting for the last 25 years or whatever.

    I didn’t ask about tattoos and I am no longer in touch with her to find out her opinion on Adam’s singing. But I think it is fair to say that they have had much longer to hone their crazy.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      Guess I don’t know any Queen tards because the extent of my own tarding has been seeing original Queen in concert 5 times as they came to my part of the world including once in Germany when I lived there. I used to get the fan club magazine, have all the albums, one poster and after Freddie died I bought an official Royal Doulton china commemorative porcelain thimble for my thimble collection. No stalking, no Freddie clocks, no fan club meet ups. Used to post on the old message board ages ago. That’s close enough to tarding for me. Any closer and I’ll break out in a rash.

      Seems from what I can tell at the site that the more hard core fans are some of the younger ones not actually born when Queen was a ‘big deal’ My mother loved Elvis and I like one or two of his songs but I would never tard for Elvis. It’s a different world now I guess.

  6. B York Says:

    I must be a lousy fan in general. My generosity in buying almost all albums put out until they switched to CDs was: David Bowie, Genesis, The Who, Cat Stevens and Bruce Springsteen. Additional fan behaviour:

    Bowie: had a poster; saw him in concert ONCE during the Heroes tour; watched the midnight screening of the “Man Who Fell to Earth” a couple of times; dressed as him (Aladdin Sane cover) for Halloween one year; someone gifted me a book.

    Genesis: bought a rare collectible blue vinyl album (Spot the Pigeon); saw them in concert ONCE and saw Peter Gabriel ONCE; watched some very weird concert movie.

    The Who: traveled to see them in Buffalo; watched the midnight double header of “The Kids are Alright” and “Quadraphenia” many times.

    Cat Stevens: would sing the songs and exchange lyrics with my lover at that time in my life.

    Springsteen: saw him in concert TWICE (traveled to Toronto for the second one); had my boyfriend dress as him for Halloween (same year I did Bowie).

    I don’t think I’ve ever joined a fan club in my life. I laughed loud and hard when I found out that my husband was a member of the Don Adams (Get Smart) fan club as a kid.

  7. Piiia Says:

    OMG, I have merited a thread with my little remark? I feel so worthy!

    Now that I have personally experienced how little it takes to be called tard and sparkle cow and what not, I can’t take very seriously other accusations that are flying around here. You know so very little about me, yet you make sweeping assumptions nevertheless. I don’t know why you feel the need to make them, but since this is your sandbox, you have the right to make them, of course.

    About Queen: “Queen is not Brian May’s personal band to do what he wants with. He was part of it, not the main part of it. Queen started out as four separate dudes with the same stake in the band.” But he was part of it, even a founding member. And he is doing it with Roger Taylor, an other founding member. Both of them wrote material to the band. Freddy Mercury is dead and John Deacon retired. So I really don’t see why Brian May (and Roger Taylor) may not do what he/them want(s) to do with the band. Of course you don’t have to like it one bit, but I just thought it was amusing how some of you where telling him what he was allowed to do or not to do. I seem to remember how that was frowned upon behavior from some other fans. But now I stand corrected that it is a whole different thing when Queen fans do it.

    Still amused, though.

  8. Ali Says:

    Piia as usual I have no idea what you’re trying to say? Or why you are here if you are so holier than thou or us haha.


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