Adam Lambert’s “Ass-Passing” err.. “Trespassing”

So I’ve only listened to a few songs off his new release and was neither impressed or disgusted. It sounds about like I expected something coming from Adam Lambert might sound. It’s just not my cup of tea, but neither is Cook’s music or much of anyone elses from Idol. The only two Idol contestants that I’ve broken down and bought the entire CDs of are Chris Sligh and Crystal Bowersox. Long live Mamasox!

Did download two songs from Lambert’s last CD to use on my gym mix with Pink, Shakira and Britney.

It does amuse me that the Sparkle Cows are attacking anyone that’s even slightly lukewarm on the CD or who damns it with faintest of praises much less negative reviews. Most of the reviews seem really mixed even if numbers are high right now. But we all know those numbers are only insanely high this week because the Sparkle Cows are each maxing out their credit cards buying copy after copy after copy like all good fantard groups do.

And all this nonsense about Adam being the first openly gay celeb to have a hit record. Oh, please, everyone knew Freddie Mercury wasn’t straight nor was K.D. Lang or Elton John. Sounds like something marketing dreamed up to be pushed by the Sparkle Cows.

Since I haven’t heard the entire CD yet I’m in no position to sound off on it. I did hear “Cuckoo” and didn’t much like it. Too contrived. But someone did sent me their own review after listening this week and I’m posting it here.

I wrote this whilst listening to Ass Passing. It did, however, make me fart. So there’s that.

His overall tone really annoys me, it’s so nasally and shrill but at the same time sounds like so many other singers, well a poor clone of them. There’s nothing distinctive about his voice. Or the material.

Trespassing – basic beat, repetitive, emotionless, autotune

Cuckoo – this sounds (melody wise) so done to death, like the first album it’s a clone of things past. That chorus

Shady – Ditto to Cuckoo, done to death. Ah this is the Sam Sparro song, a reject of his I think. Truly bland.

Never Close Our Eyes – I’m bored by the opening….oh and there we go with the beat that seems done by a cheap drumbeat. Number six on the programming I suspect. Nothing new, another clone of other crappy songs. I’m sure I heard its grandad at aerobics class in the eighties.

Kickin In – Pseudo house start goes to a dead dull beat. Well that was a big build up to boring. The chorus is reminiscent of trying to rip off Michael Jackson but failing. Somewhere around Thriller era.

Naked Love – Yodelling start emulates Gaga….are most of tbe beats/rhythm taken from a RuPaul album? Nah Ru puts a bit more effort into it. Layered vocals and lots of autotune and there’s the yelling…boring

Pop that lock – the title reminds me of his shitty Pop goes the Camera song pre Idol Ahahaha this song is stupid and wow I think I lost IQ points listening to the dumb lyrics.

Better than I know Myself – Awful start trying to pretend to be Kraftwerk then going straight into trite emo pop ballad mode. No wonder this bombed.

Broken English – SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING I couldn’t listen to more than the first 30 seconds of this

Underneath – Madam pretends to be touchy feely with a piano then puts on tight undies. A red river of screams? Is this an ode to TOM? I am bored listening to the screeching. Oh more screeching. And then some more. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAA AAAAWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Chokehold – Another slow and boring song with Madam whining about some shit. Sheets? Tight undies? He has a thread he’s hanging by, people. Enthralling stuff. Repeat the same thing over and over….Repeat the same thing over and over….Repeat the same thing over and over….Repeat the same thing over and over….Repeat the same thing over and over….blah.

Outlaws of Love – Oooo more moody Madam. Say that fast three times. Look he’s pretending to be a gay activist now after years of being indifference to the fight. The gays will see through this crap. More shitty lyrics, they’re on a level of Jack and Jill. Now he’s whining, always on the run my god stop the clichés. Borrrringggzzzzzzzzz ack now he’s mooing, must be to make the herd rub their udders.

Runnin – Axel F theme? No it’s Madam trying to be macho and failing. No shrieking so far. Bleh more clone pop music. And now the shrieking and repeating one word over and over and over….lots of filler doing this. Ooo thumpity thump drums and more repeating something. I sense a theme here. Screaming again.

Take Back – Slow start with piano then some jump to another cheap beat. Autotune arama on this one. Thank fuck this one’s only about three minutes long. Screaming. Boredom. Now I am thinking about going to the bathroom to give me an excuse to walk away from this but I have one song left.

Nirvana – Finally at the end and it’s as meh as the other songs. Slow, crappy beat, stupid lyrics. All these songs are the same, just at different speeds. Oh more tight undies singing.

Overall – crappy clone pop music. Nothing new, nothing distinctive. And such a scattered mix of by the numbers pop music too, this could be sung by any puppet on the charts. So much autotune too. Bletch. Thank fuck the songs are short.

What trite lyrics, in general. Unmemorable stuff, I cannot even hum any of it a few minutes after hearing it.

Reading this was more entertaining

I doubt the Sparkle Cows like it much.

Will be watching to see what the sales figures do in week two. The kicker will be a month out, two months out to see what Lambert’s chances are in trying to beat the Idol Sophomore Curse of being drop kicked by the record company.  I’ll be listening to  Kris “Who” Allen’s new CD too. I suspect it will be equally crappy.…myself-elliterat-lol

Explore posts in the same categories: 19E is EVIL, Adam Lambert, Adam Lambert is next, Adam Lambert Trespassing Review, American Idol, Chris Sligh, Crazy bitches, David Cook, David Cook American Idol Insane Fans, Fantards, Frau, Insane Fans, Kris Allen, Sparkle Cows, Trepassing Review, Trespassing

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79 Comments on “Adam Lambert’s “Ass-Passing” err.. “Trespassing””

  1. nonna-muss Says:

    This reviewer just saved me a butt-load of time. Thanks for taking one for the team!!

    I will listen to Who’s? album this weekend though. I liked his last album and suppose I’ll like this too. I dig the singer/songwriter sound when I’m in relaxation mode and sipping a glass of wine.

  2. Tess Tickle Says:

    I too find Lambert’s voice extremely irritating. A cow once said to me “well, even though you don’t like him, you HAVE to admit he’s got a good voice. No, I don’t have to admit it. He’s got a high pitched, shrilly voice, and if you listen to his crap with headphones on (which I did ONCE and regretted it instantly) you can hear the spit in his mouth. Blech. That’s not a “good voice”, it’s a voice that bothers the hell out of me. Whoever wrote this review, thanks for being honest and not ass-kissy like other reviewers are.

  3. Jason Says:

    Lambert stumbles his way to #1 on Billboard this week.. the moment the Cows have been dreaming of.. and these idols are getting more press than him today:

    Ace Young (engaged)
    Dianna Degarmo (engaged)
    Phil Phillips (WGWG #5)
    Jessica Sanchez (robbed, lol)
    Kelly Clarkson (new TV Show)

    The only stories I have seen about AssPassings being #1 I had to look hard for. And they are about how shitty it sold.

  4. Nist Says:

    I’m not a Lambert fan, but I find him easily avoidable. Some of the fan warrers make it seem like he’s inescapable.

    Anyways, it appears the David Cook Street Team has been officially organized – and they have a MISSION!!! OMG!!!


    Fan-Driven Initiatives, Gifting, and Support

    To support the music of David Cook and to promote it through collaborative fan efforts.

    First project for the team – they’re still trying to gift David’s latest (and currently invisible) single and have a list of tips for doing so. Here are a few:
    *Most of us might have already done this one. Each one of us buys 5 copies from iTunes and 5 copies from Amazon ( a total of 10), gift them to people in your life OUTSIDE the fandom, so we bring new fans in.

    *Print out several copies of gifts you purchase. iTunes gives you that option of printing or emailing. Have them with you. When you’re out and have opportunity to talk about song, you can hand one out to an interested person. This is a great way to spread it out to people you might not have an email for.

    *Try to reach some young people. I asked close friends for their kids’ emails. If a ripple effect starts in colleges and workplaces, how awesome would it be?!
    *lolz* *lolz* *lolz*

    In other news, some tards are pissed at Andrew Cook for “insulting” fans. All he did from what I can see is tweet the following:

    ‏From Dawn@dawnlovesdavid:

    @MrAndrewCook Do you always have to be rude Andrew?

    From Andrew Cook ‏@MrAndrewCook:

    @dawnlovesdavid do you guys have to be rude and ask me about David? He has a twitter…right? Let me check…..yep he does

    David’s former band MWK is playing a (rare) show in LA tonight so tards from all over the country have flown in, including coolshades (she of the very large Skib portrait tattoo), Kristen, Jules, Tracy, and Debrakay. Plus all of the LA regulars, of course. coolshades really is more interested in MWK than David, but most tards bought tickets long ago assuming David would be there – but supposedly there are strong indications that he won’t be. So they’re trying to keep a stiff upper lip about those airfare/hotel costs and claim they’re going for “the music”. 🙂

    • nonna-muss Says:

      Great find Nist! I’m assuming that this mess, er…umm, street teaming is happening at Cooktardlandia Official? If I gifted people who are not fans (family, friends) they’d lock me up! They know I’m a fan and have been for 4 years, if they were interested they would ask me, right? My brother-in-law loves Skrillex, if he started gifting me their songs I’d mark them as spam and tell him to knock it the fuck off.

      I ❤ Andrew.

      I wonder what questions coolshades will accost poor Andy with tonight. Poor Andy, he knows it's coming. I guess they all assumed David would be there since he's no longer with RCA and is a free-agent. I guess since Andrew tweeted that he's in KC for a wedding they're all assuming David is too? I guess Andrew and David are joined at the hip and this wedding invitation couldn't possibly have been extended to Andrew alone. I mean, in tard think Andrew is only Andrew because he is David's brother.

      My other question: what makes this street team so all-sure-fired-up-positive that David wants them to do this? Why do they all insist that he must become a huge arena filling rawk gawd. He's said himself that he just wants to be able to earn a living and be happy. They're so intrusive into every possible aspect of his life (as he noted at the Night of Hope when he looked at his watch and asked them if they knew his poop schedule too).

  5. nonna-muss Says:

    Ha! I just followed the link you posted Nist. I see who the organizers are and I am not surprised, well, I take that back, I am surprised that MBenz01 isn’t involved.

    • Nist Says:

      LOL at your lack of surprise! If you look at the followers on the newly created Twitter account @StreetTeam_DC, I think you’ll be even less surprised at who’s already on there. 🙂

      You asked the million-dollar question: does David want them to do this? I think he tweeted twice that his single was available during the week it was released, and that’s all the promoting he’s done (and tweeting twice, that’s a lot of self-promotion for him). But of course, certain people feel they have to take up the slack. Because they’re mind-readers and music industry experts, too!

      I especially love the tip about harassing – oops, asking, friends for their children’s emails so they can gift them. Nothing like getting an unsolicited email from someone you barely know (and your parent’s age) telling you what kind of music you should listen to.

      I completely forgot about coolshades’ long compiled list of Andy questions, from which he is to pick numbers after every MWK appearance and she then asks the corresponding questions. Oh man, oh man. 🙂 David is probably happy she switched obsessions but Andy’s probably not. Wonder how early she’ll get to the bar to make sure she’s directly in front of him while’s he performing.

      • nonna-muss Says:

        I wonder how many of Andy’s friends will ask to take a picture of her tattoo tonight. 😀

  6. Thorazine Says:

    LOL – These Cook ignoramuses will never learn… Street teams to boost sales for someone who has lost a big label contract are like pissing in the wind, but let them keep up their delusions – all the more for us to poke fun at…I’d long assumed there were shadow fans who propped his sales up on Itunes, to give the impression there were fans outside their crazy asses that liked his shitty music. He had bumps after performances NOBODY but them gave a crap about, so these street teams and comments just sealed the deal for me, heh.

    Cook appears to be trailing in Archuleta’s wake, going to Manila and other spots in Asia to see if he can draw interest. Seems to me they were more into Archuleta then, and now – MJ’s posted a ton of info about his recent tours there that were pretty successful from what I gather… he may have another rude awakening in store for him if the Asians have forgotten about him too, lol Will the street team be doing some recon over there, flying ahead of David to help drum up support? Keep us posted…

    • nonna-muss Says:

      Your posts would be more valid if you knew what you were talking about in respect to the Asian tour and his popularity there. Pay attention!

      • Thorazine Says:

        ROTFLMAO! What popularity in Asia? Want to take on another bet with me about that, lol… 🙂 I don’t talk about things without knowing more than just a little bit about what I’m talking about, so let me know if you’re interested in going on the record about this so called Asian popularity and what I think will be the reality when he touches down there… Go ahead, take your time – I got nothing invested, so I’ll wait for you, heh.

    • Rubber Ducky Says:

      I look forward to footage of the granny army accosting people on the streets, forcing ghetto copies of Baldy’s music onto people.

      • nonna-muss Says:

        I got street teamed hard once by the Michael John’s tards. They scared me and it was quite the turn-off. If the Cook tards start spamming radio stations, etc. regarding Cook it will have the same effect.

      • Thorazine Says:

        You. SLAY. Me. Don’t stop 🙂

      • nonna-muss Says:

        Right back at you Thorazine! Your butt hurtedness over Cook not living up to your expectations is hysterical. Keep it coming! It’s hilarious how you track the career of someone you could care less about. LOL.

      • freedavidcook Says:

        I am so so jelly! I only get street teamed by the Mormons

      • Rubber Ducky Says:

        Did you get offered some ass cake?

  7. freedavidcook Says:

    and what exactly did you really want to say, Mouse? Squeak, squeak!

    • Tess Tickle Says:

      I wish you’d let her play with us, FDC. There’s nothing I love more than an uppity cow.

  8. freedavidcook Says:

    Hey MmmmBop! You’re banned again..

    • nonna-muss Says:

      She must be busting to chime in about Ass Passing. It’s the best album since The White Album by the Beatles!!

      • Rubber Ducky Says:

        The day it’s in the bargain bin is the day the herd moo that it’s just a tactical step and Madam’s only a nanosecond away from superstardom!!!!11one!!

        The cows are excited that he managed to get 5,000 people to a show he had at a Six Flags

        😆 How very pathetic 😆

      • nonna-muss Says:

        And sadly out of that 5,000 only 1% are actually from New England I’m sure. It will be the same 5,000 fans flying all over the country to attend the shows.

  9. Tess Tickle Says:

    Awww, did holier than thou Mmmmtwat try to post? I sure do miss that sanctimonious bitch and her passive agressive comments.

  10. rageandzephyr Says:

    street teaming? really? seriously, cook is probably the happiest he’s been since idol right now no thanks to them. am i the only one who feels second hand embarrassment?
    off topic – read the other day on one of his sites how they thought he was moving to Nashville ’cause his new gf lives there. lol
    also, i’m new here but you guys are all awesome!

  11. Thorazine Says:

    Nope – that would be TLM… And FYI, not FYE, I was responding to Rubber Ducky, who ‘gets it’, and never fails to crack me up w/their pithy zingers and insight. They are not a delusional bore who bristles at criticism , snark, sarcasm or plain old shit talking about someone they don’t know. I too think Cook seems pretty happy lately Rage… Probably happy to be getting a bit of a breather from those old warhorses and battleaxes who’ve now taken to the streets to spread the gospel of Jayzus, er, Cook!! lolol…

    • rageandzephyr Says:

      Thorazine, at the end of the day Cook seems genuinely thankful for his fans
      because he knows there comes a time when he’ll be lucky to have at least one. i like his music, but i must say i’m a bit confused right now as to where he’s going with it – i can’t really tell his genre any more, snooze rock?

      • nonna-muss Says:

        I agree that he seems happier. I also agree that I don’t know what he meant by his music taking a new direction. It sounded very similar to TLM to me!

      • burt Says:

        I’m glad it’s not just me! He said new direction, I thought it was going to get interesting with the tards (would they follow him to dance music?!) but then I heard it and thought “it’s the same”. I wonder if he means that it’s more of an acoustic, laid back vibe? I don’t totally see that but live performances have had that feel I think? Maybe someone should tweet Andrew and ask. 😉

  12. Thorazine Says:

    lol – My last comment was supposed to be in reply to nonnymuss… dunno what happened.

  13. burt Says:

    Good to see you back FDC! For a moment there, I was worried I missed the memo about you moving. Happy to see the regulars are back too. Hello! 🙂

    As for Lambert – I actually did read about his number 1 somewhere but it was followed by the sales details. Still, good for him I guess. I’ve not listened to it, is it any good? I didn’t mind the last album but it was a bit “here are some songs other people wrote and let me record” – it was obvious because each song sounded musically like the person who wrote it. Kinda freaked me out.

    And Cook – Well, the street team thing is hilarious but really, it sounds no different to what they’ve been doing for years. It’s not like it did him any good and I honestly don’t think he cares. He seems happy – I think I read that his RCA deal was one record with an option for a second so I’m inclined to believe him when he says it ended amicably – they presumably didn’t want to release a third and he was no doubt tired of them (which is based on nothing more than him seeming to have bigger plans than he never got to fulfill e.g. touring). If he was unhappy about being a free agent, I’m sure he would have made a bigger thing of saying he was looking elsewhere rather than he was just unsigned.

    To anyone gloating about him losing the deal, I assume you know that’s normal in the music business? It happens all the time, sometimes people sign elsewhere and sometimes they go independent but the situation is far from the end of the world. I know many musicians who are happily earning a living without a label and they don’t have any name recognition of the financial security he has. Like I’ve always said, if he can release music and make a living then good for him. I’ll buy it, listen and carry on living. I’m not going to take on the role of promo manager for him though unless he wants to pay me some of his millions and tell me what he actually wants. 😉 The idea of boosting sales figures myself then trying to force other people to listen is stupid, all it achieves is to make you look obsessed because you so obviously spent the money to “gift” it. Weird. Also, after all the criticism directed to RCA and how his career was handled, it will be interesting to see where they direct the anger now. I see that he’s not exactly promoting the single heavily himself and isn’t he with the same manager and management as the last year (after the move from 19?)?

    My first thought when I heard he was moving was nothing to do with his girlfriend (I’m still happily clueless on that front) but how long it would take certain tards to suggest something between him and Carrie Underwood. That is where she lives, right?

    (I’ll get it out of the way for you… yes, I wrote a lot. I know, I know. It’s been months though so forgive me. Just this once.)

  14. Tess Tickle Says:

    I hear tell that Ass Passing is sinking fast.

  15. karma police Says:

    I didnt hear adams new cd yet either and i really dont care to his voice is very screechy, sometimes you wonder who does the counting to see who is #1, anyhow as far as cook goes i thought all new artists switch managers and record labels often, an as for a girlfiend…… well i hope he is staying single right now and enjoying his touring

  16. David is happy and content about his departure from RCA and I think it’s the best thing that has happened to him. I love the new music but then I an a cooktard so what. Right? hahaha

    • Rubber Ducky Says:

      Hi nanna! Is it Learn To Use The Computer In The Recroom Day at the home again?

    • Thorazine Says:

      With Dave being all SENSITIVE (tm rascalete) and all, I’d think he’d be drowning his shame and sorrow in booze, lol. That’s what sensitive (tm rascalete) singers like him do. According to your neverending tripe, golly gee he’s the most SENSITIVE (tm rascalete) singer who ever lived! I’m getting teary eyed and sensitive (tm rascalete) just thinking about how sensitive (tm rascalete) Cook is 🙂 Now skedaddle off Granny and go buy a couple dozen more shitty copies of that single he sang on Idol to keep him outta the poorhouse, hee.

      • Sorry to hear that you are a sensitive ??? man or woman or what?? I guess you are jealous because you are not getting enough attention. Hope you feel better soon HONEY< hahaha

      • OH At least I don’t hide behind a fake name. I wonder who you are on Twitter that takes so much time reading my post. I guess you don’t have a life. Keep reading and I will keep posting. hahahaha

      • (@rascalete) Says:

        Both Cook and Tiemann played sensitively and powerfully. goodbyetoallthat Nov 12, 2010 – 3:54 PM

  17. Ali Says:

    Hey good to see lots of the regs back again…so anyone have any news on the MWK show? Any meltdown’s when Dave didn’t show? And Coolshades must surely have a massive “recap” posted somewhere by now lol?

  18. Ali Says:

    I posted this and it showed up as a reply up the thread, idk why, so reposting it?…Hey good to see lots of the regs back again…so anyone have any news on the MWK show? Any meltdown’s when Dave didn’t show? And Coolshades must surely have a massive “recap” posted somewhere by now lol?

  19. Rubber Ducky Says:

    Madam’s new video is just awful 😆 RCA recognize that he’s a shit dancer who looks more like he’s having an epileptic seizure, and have chosen to go for tight, close shots of him flailing around like a beached whale. The cows think this is genius 😆

    It also looks like ten bucks was spent on it; the advertising pot is empty. Three failed songs, huge dive in sales for week two means Madam’s getting cut from RCA soon.

    Maybe he can put out a Kickstarter funded album of duets with Clay next?

    • freedavidcook Says:

      I don’t know about an album of duets with Clay considering it looks like they are still having some sort of bitch monkey feud that even the fans are engaging in. I’d pay to see them on celebrity boxing together.

      Stick a fork in Adam because he’s done. The next album will be like Chris Slighs third one, recorded in someone’s basement with the recording time bought by fan donations to Kickstart. Those fifteen minutes are almost up.

    • Tess Tickle Says:

      That video was hilarious, I honestly laughed out loud and thought for a minute the video was a joke, a parody of something, but it was for real. He has on more pancake makeup than a clown, his “dancing” is, is, is, well, I have no words and his pained expression through the whole thing made him look constipated. The lyrics are juvenile and stupid and the video made no sense.

      I have a feeling Madam won’t be getting too much more money thrown at him after this crap. He’ll be turning tricks at crappy venues for a handful of diehard cows with more money than sense. Also, why in the hell doesn’t he just embrace the ginger? How much freaking money does he spend daily trying to cover up the fact that he was born red haired and freckled? He and Claylene are both gingers, they can join forces, hit the cruise ship circuit together and sing duets for the captive passengers.

      • Thorazine Says:

        This video looks like it cost all of $two.fiddy to put together. I LOL’d at the futuristic lawn guys? w/their smoke blowers near the end. So CHEAP LOOKING! Everything from the costumes to the set to the nonsensical theme – CHEAP! It does look like the money train has dried up for Glamby. Everything about his look is sooo old and tired and dated – he’s starting to look like hard 30 years old in the face too. And I think the song and the CD sucks BALLS. Screechy McScreecherson with nothing new to add to pop or dance music. RCA and his mgmt need to give up on trying to make him happen. He ain’t what’s happening, never was, never will be. He’ll be a wonderful addition to Vegas in abouta year, he will put together a heck of a cabaret act that should pack the Cows in. But this pop star thing is OVAH.

      • freedavidcook Says:

        The fact that the video looks like they spent no money on it is very telling. The RCA moneytrain is over. Again, like Cook, if you cannot turn a profit on the money they invest in your career then you’re a goner before long after the second CD drops and fails. A 70K first week bounce? Strictly Cow attempts to make it a SUPER HIT for their glittery one. Second, third and fourth weeks will show that Trespassing has no legs, just a bunch of busted old cows. Numbers dropped so much on the second week. Handwriting on the wall. Thanks for reminding me of those silly leaf blowers that blew smoke. Downright silly. Synchronized floor scrubbing? Oh please, super silly. Not taking the pill? Again, oh please, if Madam’s interviews are anything to go by he’d have been beating up the others and going face first into that pile of pills. So much ridiculeye in that video.

    • BYork Says:

      So it wasn’t just me that thought this MV ridiculous 🙂 Another trademark Lambert production:

      Over-the-top “acting” CHECK

      Ridiculous trying to be sexy “dancing” CHECK

      Hanging a whole concept on the literal interpretation of a phrase or two CHECK

      This album’s two MV released are worse than the ones he put out for his first album.

      • freedavidcook Says:

        Did you notice that he seemed to be wearing way more clothes and makeup than the dancers? the whole damn hokey contrived thing, pills, check, scary futuristic type scenario that completely has nothing to do with the lyrics? check… magical dye jazz hands? Check.. Madam the rebel? check. Non dancing Madam pretending to dance while everyone else around him dances, check check and check.. cheapest production values since “Food Of The Gods”? check..

      • nonna-muss Says:

        That video is a train wreck. I can’t remember the last time I saw a video that was so opposite of what the lyrics/’medoly’ sound like. That’s tanking fast. Next!

      • Tess Tickle Says:

        He did have some awesome jazz hand moves, so there’s that I’ll give to him.

  20. Rubber Ducky Says:

    Madam has given up on finding new fans now and is now pandering to the herd. He’s even dressing just for them now.

  21. cuddles Says:

    I’m enjoying the international superstar’s massive fail. A shame more cows don’t drop by to defend El Screecho.

  22. cuddles Says:

    Uh oh. Looks like I’m in spam jail.

  23. Thorazine Says:

    The Cooktards need to hang this shit up – Pssssst —-> didja know June 6th is Global Gifting Day – they’ll be gifting or trying to give that shitty single of his nobody wanted the 1st time. They just… pitiful. 🙂


    The Last Song I’ll Write For You – Callout

    David has asked only one thing of us so far: keep sales of “The Last Song I’ll Write for You” going. On Wednesday, June 6th, we will do a one day gifting effort and sales push on iTunes and Amazon in collaboration with our international teams. Like any other trending or voting effort, this means planning and organizing. If we work together in a specific time period, we’ll make a difference.

    Gifting limits: Although we had put a limit of 5 per Amazon and 5 from iTunes, we have heard from other fandoms that the limits are: 2 per checkout at Amazon (if you buy 10 gifts, you need to check out 5 different times), 8 per individual personal purchase on iTunes, but gifting to others is unlimited since who downloads is what’s counted. Using different accounts works too. This is not to say, let’s buy 8 copies for ourselves and gift 800 copies each, but we can be a bit more generous than just 5 copies.

    Gifting Instructions

    If you are willing and able to help, here are some ideas to prepare for Wednesday:

    1. Make a list of friends and family members who might enjoy the song.

    2. Buy several copies of the song as an iTunes “gift” and choose the “print” option. This gives you a printout with a redemption code. Pass them out to friends and people who are interested in hearing the song.

    3a. Post on your Facebook: If anyone would like a copy of David Cook’s single, I have a few free downloads available.

    3b. Or post on Facebook: If anyone would like a free download of David Cook’s new single, check it out here:

    4. If you know people from any of the other Idol fandoms, reach out to them, ask if they would like a free download and either send them to the fill-in form, or ask them to DM you their email address to receive an iTunes gift download.

    5. When talking with neighbors, colleagues, dry cleaner, salon stylist, etc, mention that you’re enjoying a new song by David Cook. If they sound interested, ask if they would like a free download.

    6. Make a second account on iTunes. Sign up again with a different email, just in case it’s needed for gifting. iTunes will allow you to use the same credit card on multiple accounts.

    7. If you’d like the street team to gift to people, please fill in this form or email to us at

    The email addresses of donors and recipients are not made public on the website for their privacy. No one will be able to see them unless we send them a link.

    This is our chance to give David a gift that he really wants. Let’s do it!

  24. SueD Says:

    Someday you will have children. It’s sad to know you will trash them , or other relatives if one of them is gay. Maybe its you. Sure do go to great lengths to establish your point. Point taken.

    • freedavidcook Says:

      I love it that anytime anyone is even ever so slightly critical of Adam or says they don’t care for his music then the Sparkle Cows immediately moo that the person is either a closeted homosexual or very homophobic. So klassy

    • Rubber Ducky Says:


      Hey Sue, we’re all homerphibians here!!!1 😆 Pray for us to your god, Fatty Madam. He will grant your wishes after you buy 1000 copies of Ass Passing. Just be sure to ship some copies to the troops, they love a chance for target practice.

      • freedavidcook Says:

        I wish one of the Sparkle Cows would gift me with a copy of the CD… It might be good for scaring little kids off the lawn..

      • Rubber Ducky Says:

        You can always use a copy as a frau pooper scooper!

  25. Beauxcefus Says:

    I don’t give a damn about Adam being gay. I just think his music SUCKS, and that he is undeservedly overhyped and overpimped – and he looks like a disco chicken wearing ugly clothes and too much makeup – oh, and he can’t act or dance for shit. Makes him and his fans utterly mockable to me. He’s a big boy, he can take it – it’s the fans who get all butthurt when someone doesn’t fawn all over Screechy McScreecherson. Tough. That utterly laughable and cheap ass video for NCOE is should be nominated for best comedy.

  26. Rubber Ducky Says:

    This craptastic album is bombing so fast 😆 The herd now claim it’s because he’s too ‘intelligent’ for radio 😆

    They won’t admit it just sucks and is a derivative mess 😆 When is RCA going to drop him?

    • Rubber Ducky Says:

      The cows are on fucking drugs now:

      The question is not if Adam is better than Top 40 Radio (although any of Adam’s music is as good or better) but bigger than Top 40 Radio~ in more ways than one. Not only on the inside but also on the outside~Adam is a phenomenon that cannot be compartmentalized like radio today with its demographics and target audiences. Adam transcends generations of people from young to old. Some say Adam is an Indigo. Adam strikes a cord with mature audiences, regardless of age. Adam is legendary~People who have become legends do not follow but lead the way and blaze their own trail and are respected for it like Clint Eastwood and Johnny Depp, for example. Adam is the caliber of Zeppelin, Queen, The Doors, The Beatles, … Adam’s insrument is his voice. Bubble gum music? Oh, no. Adam’s albums speak for themselves. Each song on FYE could have been played on a different station~Adam is blazing a new frontier with Trespassing~the rules have not been written. Radio is a hard nut to crack but when has that stopped Adam or his fans? Problems are opportunities~

      😆 and they believe this shit.

      • Beauxcefus Says:

        Oh HELL TO THE NAW!!! (tm Whitney Houston, RIP)

        Caliber of… Zeppelin? The Doors? Beatles??????

        It’s ON LIKE DONKEY KONG with these simple bitches… I. Just. Can’t.

      • freedavidcook Says:

        I think I need to do a delusions of the Herd post soon. The excusing they are making for the CD falling from #1 all the way down into the hundreds are comical. It’s homophobia, Adam is too good for the radio… it all gets too ranty and confusing.

      • Dani Says:

        OK, so she got me, had to google it.

        2: Universal term for an indigo child- a child who is believed to have special social powers. Usually these children are nothing more than victims of ADD or ADHD.

        No disrespect, one of the sweetest kids I know has ADHD. Never heard of this term.

      • Jason Says:

        OK so the failure is here obviously… I mean, if we’re now fast forwarding to the part where he is too good for radio.. too good for people .. etc etc etc. One thing I notice about all the Adam ‘comparisons’ over the matter how head-scratching (Clint Eastwood? really??) there is always a common theme…THESE OTHER ARTISTS ARE POPULAR; and without anyone buying multiple copies of their shit.

        Is LZ too good for my classic rock station? Nope just heard Heartbreaker 10 minutes ago. Johnny Depp too great of an artist for people to go to his movies? Uh, no… the ‘Pirates’ series made over a Billion dollars. The Beatles?..ok I made the point.

        Maybe it’s time to start comparing him to other genius artists that no one really cares about or remembers. Unfortunately I cant think of one right now.

      • freedavidcook Says:

        Klaus Nomi???

      • Rubber Ducky Says:

        Dani, Indigo children is a bullshit term a scammer made up to milk gullible and desperate parents who want to believe their kid is a special snowflake.

    • Jason Says:

      Yeah sure.. a more douchey Klaus Nomi.

  27. Mal Says:

    Everyone has a right to their opinion–but it can be done in a respectful way otherwise people don’t take you seriously –name calling and such is what even my students at school are learning not to do. Makes for a better society–don’t ya think?

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