Posted tagged ‘Andrew Cook Hero Tard Slapper’

David Cook Relocates

June 14, 2012

…and the stalkers are already planning on moving to Nashville or visiting to ‘bump’ into him. ‘Bump into him’ is tard-talk for ‘Stalk’

Yeah, Nashville, home of the Grand Ole Opry, Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge and the Tin Pan South Songwriters Festival. But whenever I think of Nashville I think of this great classic film and my ex.

Apparently Cook was spotted by a Cooktard shopping in a Target store in the vicinity. He wasn’t alone. He was with the mystery girlfriend.

This caused some sort of meltdown last night in Cooktardlandia. Once it came out he’s with someone the tards went nuts. How nuts? Apparently one of the saner ones had to actually verbalize this to shut some of them up.

PSA To My Timeline: If you were a fan of David Cook before it became known he has a girlfriend, and you no longer are a fan, please do us both a favor and unfollow me. I really enjoy talking to genuine fans of David Cook and refuse to watch so-called “fans” throw away his cds, talk bad about him, etc just because he has a girlfriend. Those people who are doing this, either were never really a fan or live in a completely different world than I do, where they think he is owned by he fans, and I don’t want to be part of your reality. Get a life!!!

If any of my followers don’t see my side of things, and you unfollow me,that’s fine. I understand. I am here as a DAVID COOK fan and enjoy my time here. I refuse to let it be ruined by haters or fans who believe a fellow human being like David shouldn’t have a life outside of his music career. He’s a human like everyone else on this planet!!! He’s allowed to have a private life regardless of what you “fans” think or feel. As a whole, we are a wonderful fanbase and I love you guys but I will not allow the haters/attention getters get in my way of staying a lifelong fan of David Cook!!!!

Some smarts for a change.

Perhaps we all should chip in or host a bake sale to get Cook’s sig-o a body guard and printed ‘Whos Who’ of tards with photos.

Wonder how many tards are making plans to move to Nashville? Are Coolshades and Wehoscott shopping for real estate in Nashville now?

I have been waiting for this moment with baited breath for some time. Stay safe mystery gf.


Did everyone see that some random tard called Andrew Cook an ‘asshole’?  LOL

David Cook – Tard Into You

November 21, 2011

The usuals are doing the usual thing, which is going to every meet and greet, moaning about anyone that gets even one tiny scintilla of more attention from Dale..oops, David than them, spam-tweeting the Grammys about Cook, tearing apart anyone younger, more attractive or half way normal that expresses interest in Cook and lastly, bashing the crap out of David’s brother Andrew Cook.

Andrew came on the tour recently to run the VIP events and merch tables. The hard core Cooktard pack hates Andrew. Hmm, could it be because he seems to clearly see what variety of disgusting nutballs they are? Or is it because he doesn’t take any thing off them, he’ll tell them off. Someone needs to. He also seems to have a great sense of humor and levity to him that his big brother doesn’t quite manage. But then I too would be cranky if that crowd was drooling over my knees and legs the say Earring Granny and the others seem to be fond of.

Really. Back of the knees?? When did this turn into an erogenous zone? Was it something mentioned in some weird HBO series on extremely weird sex? I’m clueless because I do NOT fathom the why of the knees. Seriously Earring Granny tweeted “OH! I love the back of his knees! “ and other droolings.

But the winner of stupid crazy irrational tour stalker title this week is awarded to Becky. Becky aka Bleed_Into_One on twitter has been chumming the waters in the sea of stupid again because she’s been having a fit over so many things this week.

You know Becky, she’s the one that always sucks up to Neal but talks trash about Neal’s girlfriend Kira behind Kira and Neal’s back.

Currently she’s engaged in harassing two college girls who got into a M & G for free. She’s been posting that it’s obvious that they must have given Andrew Cook sexual favors, i.e. handjobs or blowjobs for the privilege. She’s ignoring the fact that the girls say it was a lady that brought them in. Imagine that, young attractive fans. I know that has to be driving her around the bend.

Here’s what Becky said on twitter –

bleed_into_one becky/becks @
@Mysticpurz @AheadofStraight andrew probably gave it to her after she did him a “favor”

More Becky about Andrew

@cookienerd0006 @FallBackIntoMe I can’t stand him so I’ll have no problem. I won’t suck up. Just give me my lanyard and gtfo my way lol

@sandypat66 @cookienerd0006 he doesn’t know anything about being vip coordinator either but he is

And she’s upset about what happened at one of her million VIP packages. What happened? Did David mention he’s seen her more than he’s seen cousins this year?

“bleed_into_one becky/becks @
@cookienerd0006 I’ll tell you when I see you about my cleveland vip experience that should tell you how I feel about rude peeps even Dave

Becks is stamping her little feet over this like a two year old screaming “ITSNOTFAIRITSNOTFAIR!!!!!!!111111eleventy” with all her brainless stalker pals.

bleed_into_one becky/becks @
@NinasFeet her blog cracks me up. She REALLY likes run on sentences and that “making dreams come true” shit? I call BS.

That’s her words about the blog of one of the college girls.

When it came out that one of the young college gals had talked to David and he mentioned that he had two new dogs it suddenly became the business of Becky. She was speculating that David was a ‘bad’ pet owner and he couldn’t possibly be having a girlfriend, friend or relative looking after his critters because Andrew was on the road with him. Becky has made it her mission to find out about if he did get new dogs.

@DCisMyIcing that actually really aggravates me. Who’s watching them? His imaginary girlfriend? He is on tour he doesn’t have time.

–erynmarie07 Eryn Marie
by bleed_into_one
David said he can neither confirm nor deny the rumor that he has new dogs.

What David should tell Becky and pals is that he can neither confirm nor deny that this is any of their f*cking business. It’s really not. Why does it matter so much to Becky in the first place? She doesn’t own him.

And Sassycatz is the Top Tard Runner Up with her desperate tweets to Bruce Springsteen begging him to add Cook as his opening act. Silly rabbit, Springsteen oh so rarely ever has an opening act. The Boss doesn’t need one. Tweeting hims is a futile naive gesture. Her tweets..

–Bruce!!!!!! Make David Cook your opener on your European tour. He’s more than worthy of your trust!

–David is an earnest young rocker who deserves his consideration as a rising star who can carry the torch.

–If Bruce Springsteen is going overseas, @thedavidcook should be going with him. He is worthy of that honor.

She also twitter bitch-slapped other Cook fans for daring to watch the Cook-less AMA awards. Her tweets

–David has a new album out and a new single that is gaining traction. He should be on an awards show about music. He isn’t. Do not watch it.

–I don’t understand why David fans would watch a show that will never have him on as a guest or feature his music. Why would you support it?!

–I won’t watch but he should because I want him to be mad that they won’t support his music & that of other rockers!

–@thedavidcook watch the AMAs and ask your friends why a prominent awards show will not support up and coming rock and roll, like you!

Complaining about the lack of Cook on teevee.

Sassycatz Sassycatz
I mean, David actually has a new single to promote. Some people would see that as reason to show up on TV shows that help to promote artists

Becky and Sassy – busy harassing newer more casual fans, trying to back set drive micromanaging Cook’s career, so jealous it’s sad, talking trash about Cook’s brother, spamming the Grammys. I salute you – Bad Tards of the Week…

To the two college ladies that got into the meet and greet for free you are welcome here anytime you like. Ignore the crazy jealous old ladies losing it because someone was nice to you.

More Google Searches – Lost Count Now..

April 14, 2010

Dear David,

I’ve not been paying much attention to the Google searches leading here until today. Most of them are porn involves like “My Little Porny” or “David Cook Andy Skib Neal Tiemann Slash” Porn’s not my thing. I find it rather boring, same old in and out, even though I know lots of folks adore it.  Nothing wrong it.

But to have your fans openly Googling for sexual based fan fic for you and your band is pretty far over the line of appropriateness.  Real person fiction is creepy as hell.

The porn searches of the horny and desperate not related to you really make me laugh..

Sub male in blonde torture cook porno video – Not a clue. This must be some sort of hentai action I’ve not heard of involving cooks and chefs. It keeps popping up here again and again. Someone please elucidate in the comments.

Insane Cook Porn – Again, What. The. Hell?

Young men & boys love big cock – Hey, who doesn’t? I know Adam Lambert prolly does. But I bet you don’t.

Baldy marry – Someone is curious to know when you’ll be tying the knot.  I’m betting they think they’d fill that bridal slot perfectly. I can see some frautard complying a dream wedding scrapbook with all the crap she fantasizes about you. Run!! Take my advice, don’t do it till you’re 30.

Who is CooCoo – Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs. That describes perfectly some of the frau herd.

Idletard point & laugh – Sic transit gloria mundi  or so passes worldly glory. Idletard may have bitten the dust, but the laughing and pointing at the tards it embraced lives on forever.

Insane Cook brothers – I don’t know, you and your bro Andrew seem rather sane to me most of the time. However, being stalked by those fat old ladies is enough to drive anyone around the bend. Your poor brother is probably traumatized for all time and eternity because your frau hit on him with pictures of you as them. I don’t think he’s a fan of  ‘The closer the kin, the deeper it goes in.’

Kerry Kolsch frau tard – Someone was looking for the most insane of all the Adam Lambert fraus. The one that insists that it’s a conspiracy involving 19E, Chick Fil La, AT&T, the state of Arkansas, devout Southern Christians and a laundry list of others that was to blame for Adam failing to win Idol. Wonder what she’s blaming Adam’s massive post Idol blunders on?

and lastly,

Big John Bret Michaels – Poor old Bert,, er, Bret Michaels is having a time of it right now. He had appendicitis in Texas and had to have it removed. This is on top of his weekly televised humiliation at the hands of  Donald Trump and his team mates on Celebrity Apprentice. Looks like 2010 is not shaping up to be one of his best years. Last week Bret was crying onscreen. I didn’t know he had it him in to weep like that. After years of making fun of him on all those shitfest “Rock of Love” programs he actually comes away very differently on Apprentice.

But I still needs me some Big John.

You need a Big John too to keep the freaks away at your gigs.


April 13, 2010

Dear David,

Before I went to bed last night I saw the first of the ugly twitter mess between your brother Andrew and your Tards. As I’m sure you know by now Andrew had a Twitter Party and the heifers showed up all with photos of you as their avatars.  Andrew told them that it was creepy and inappropriate. They exploded with typical herd mentality and fury, accusing Andrew of rudeness, telling him off before going to whine to you that he was borderline rude.

Props to Andrew for telling it like it is. It IS freaking creepy that they all have photos of you as their avatars on Twitter. I can just imagine the EEWW! factor for Andrew from the ones hitting on him for some booty with your photo.  *Shuddering*

Also creeps me out that the most Googled terms leading into here are people looking for porn or slash starring you. Excuse me while I go throw up.

Looks like it was your usual gang of idiots, pizza screaming tard Daina mixed with the others.  Hopefully they’ll flounce off to their little corner of the internet and take a time out now. They need it, just like a pack of misbehaving toddlers.

But Andrew rocks for telling them how creepy they are.