Posted tagged ‘Andy Skib’

Congratulations to Jennie Nye & Andy Skib…

September 27, 2012

….and sorry about the freakin’ clueless fans obsessing over getting the happy couple a wedding gift. I would not be surprised if the crazier/bolder don’t try to crash the wedding. I hope that on Saturday everything goes smoothly and stalker-free. May the girl with the bad tattoo stay far away.

Turns out over at a certain Facebook page – Skiblets – – they are having drama over this wedding gift idea. Apparently the bridal registry wasn’t publicly posted for the fans but you know how some seem to have superior Googling without Probable Cause skillz and found the Macy’s registry.¬† Some think, and rightly so, that since Andy didn’t include the fan base in announcing the wedding registry it is not appropriate to send a gift. Typically the same ones that usually trample all over the rules of society think they have every right to send a gift and anyone that thinks otherwise is a hater. Drama has ensued.

I am just happy that a few members of Skiblets have enough common sense to realize that sending a wedding gift from the registry isn’t such a good idea. Be happy for them instead of sending any gift. Love is getting rarer in our world it seems and they’ve been lucky enough to find it in each other.

Bus Full Of David Cook Tards…

August 16, 2011

… too bad they’re not going off a high cliff into the rapacious jaws of hungry alligators. That scenario would make these silly photos much more amusing.

Okay, so there’s this group of Cooktards at DCO that call themselves the “Busted Girls” and “We R Busted”. They like to refer to David Cook as “Master” and make insane amounts of photoshopped pictures of them and Cook on adventures together on the tour bus. There is mention of spanking and paddles, pictures of paddles, talks of paddling as punishment and as a treat. It is all so so.. 6th grade… not even middle school. And it’s all over on a thread at DCO. They wonder why we think they are a bunch of nut cases.

They even have their own Twitter too.

I was going to post a few of their photos here but I think not. I don’t want to go near them with someone else’s ten foot dick. When I first took a look at the series I’m sure my jaw dropped and my eyes bugged out by the sheer silly spectacle of it all. Again, this is not what normal rational adult human beings do when they are the fans of a singer/musician. The best thing they could do to support Dave and the guys is a) buy the music, b) buy the merch and c) go to the concerts. Nothing else, no bus fantasies, no spanking fantasies, no ignoring your little kids to the point where you are feeding them PB&J for every meal for days on end while you photoshop your stupidity lust fantasies of being in a Non-Baldy Bus-riding getting-spanked harem.

How long will it take them all to go bi for Cook? Eventually in every sexual fantasy-laden tarddom some decide to handle the sexual tension by going gay with each other as it’s the closest any of them will ever come to Cook’s crotch. Are we near that point in Cookdom yet>

Fess Up! Who Is Webhoscott?

July 22, 2011

I’ve been on vacay again with spotty internet availability for the last few weeks. Amish country, Rock and Rock Hall of Fame, Kaintuck and other parts near the Ohio River. Casinos, craps tables and drinks. No American Idols, heh.

So when I do come back in when the slow assed dialup at these places lets me I see that the self-professed ‘Weed’ and pal of Ninas Feet and other silly self-named ‘Weeds’ is fighting with the ‘Roses’, whatever those are besides the bushes with the smelly flowers. Wehoscott is on a tear, ramage, snit, whatever you wanna name it.

Why? Who? What?

Then someone sets up a fake Wehoscott account on Twitter named ‘Webhoscott’ and starts twittering David Cook and band mates some pretty funny stuff about moobs and pretending to be ‘in the know’. Lots of Scott titty twisting going on. Now it’s down.

Looks like someone outed all of Wehoscott’s info using it too. I wonder how he feels about that considering he’s leaked all kinds of sheisse, true and untrue, about Cook and pals. Karma bites again. After seeing all of the info on Scott and his photo I have to say it’s pretty creepy when you combine it with the stuff he’s tweeted, like smelling Cook that time, talking smack about Andrew leeching off his brother and other really inappropriate remarks.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the culprit was one of those ‘Roses’ or even a whole vase of them. Would love to know who took him on like that and what type of threats Scott used to get the twitter account pulled. Perhaps he has incriminating photos of the Twitter founder with a goat, manatee and Martian hooker. His ‘career’ swag could not possibly be as important as he pretends after finding out what he does and for who. Certainly not enough to have insider info on Cook and Co. and not to get Twitter accounts removed for TOS violations.

David Cook Anthemictfln -Sick

July 7, 2011

Smell The Coffee posted a link in the comments the other day for something I hadn’t viewed before, a Tumblr account filled with photos captioned in some pretty disgusting ways – Anthemictfln. (Warning: view at your own risk)

I don’t quite know what to say except Eeeww! Sample below.

Seriously, who does things like this? Who feels the need to be so disrespectful to someone they claim to love? I hope that the people doing this are silly young teenagers but I have a feeling it’s all those panting middle-aged Cooktards doing this stuff while their hubby drinks beer and watches tv. Grow up, seriously, grow up and stop doing disgusting things like this.

Viva Las Vegas

March 8, 2011

From the chatter various places in the David Cook funked up fandom it looks like there is some high-gear ‘guh’ing going on. And some ‘thud’ding and assorted other middle school terms for fantarding reactions. Credit cards are being charged and plans made to abandon families, pets and jobs to go to Vegas.

Cook and pals are playing at this year’s Pet-A-Palooza in Vegas on April 9th. Worthy cause but kind of a ghetto showcase. This and the remake of “Don’t You” make me wonder if we’ll be seeing within five years signs in front of bars nationwide “American Idol’s David Cook – 5 Dollar Cover Charge – 2 For 1 Draft Beer”

While vajayjays are exploding over the impending release of CD numero dos some of the craziest of the crazy have already booked hotel rooms and flights to Vegas just to hear Baldy sing a couple of songs on the bill with other performers. It’s a bargain, 8 buck tickets and flights plus hotel rooms are always discounted in Vegas.

I’m hoping this means we’ll hear of all sorts of over the top tarding and wild doings from the Cooktards. It’s been a long time since they’ve had an opportunity to get up close and personal with David. Doings will be at a fevered pitch. Many scrapbooks and quilts will be presented along with crap for his dog.

Blue Christmas

December 17, 2010

Looks like a Blue Christmas for the David Cook Tards. Sure, Tulsa is all happening but so far he is a no-show. According to the few I’ve talked to there’s been either no David or David in deep deep disguise that no one recognizes. I had a feeling all along he was going to be nowhere near Tulsa.

But the usual suspects are there, including Coolshades of the Skib tattoo that looks like a bruise and her ability to eat ten tacos at a time (so I’ve been told) along with Daina and her hooves tattooed with Cook lyrics and the others of their freakish cult. I’m sure the hotels and restaurants of Tulsa will benefit by their largess. So some good will come of it, it’s not all Cook-Stalking but stimulating the local economy. Anyone care to guess how many dollars one of these Cookards is going to drop on the slim hope of seeing Cook?

(Edited to ad: Conflicting reports on Daina’s presence. I have heard she is there and she isn’t. Big whoop. I’m sure she wants to be there either way)

Poor Andy Skib.

For the sprinkles on the Christmas cake of nasty fandom I hear that some (most) of the fans are upset by Cook’s holiday message he posted at Cook Official. Now why are they upset to be wished ‘Happy Holidays’ and thanked for their support? It’s actually very nice for all it’s brevity. Because they think it sounds like Cook will not be around or back at the site until the New Year. Now heaven forfend, they might actually have to go two or three WHOLE WEEKS before there is any Cook news! I’m sure they’ll wither away and die without any scrap of gossip or news to chew on and keep the flame alive till the New Year. Not.

I did get a kick out of Cook’s picture on the bottom of the site. He’s on the famous Abbey Road in London. Too bad he didn’t let his merry band of crazy followers know when he’d be there because there is a webcam at Abbey Road anyone can access. I used to use Abbey Road as my fake money exchange location back when I was a Nigerian Scam Baiter. Nothing funnier than seeing some confused looking Africans carrying a briefcase wandering on the crossing while you’re thousands of miles away chuckling over them falling for you setting them up. If David had announced it could have tied up Abbey Road cam for ages and left them all scanning all the public cams (Edited to add apparently he did tell the fans. Bully for him.)

Not sure how many updates there will be here till the New Year because, well, it’s that time of the year. Busy, busy. I’d like to take this opportunity to say Merry Christmas, Happy Eid, Kwaanza, Festivus For The Rest Of Us, or whatever holiday you celebrate. Yes, even you crazies I wish you peace, joy and love (can you tell I’ve had too much eggnog?). Here’s hoping we have lots of stupid things to talk about in the New Year.

The Agony Of De Feet

September 27, 2010

Enough about Adam and his mooing herds. Time to poke fun at one of the ugliest feet tattoos I’ve ever viewed.

Remember Daina the Pizza Screamer Tard? Screeching into David Baldy Cook’s mike that she loved pizza? Her of the thinning hair and portly physique? The tard that took every other tards Baldy photos, had them bound in hard cover books and then charged nearly a hundred smackers apiece selling those books of their own photos back to the Cooktards? Yeah, her.

She has a new tattoo and for once I’m agreeing with Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets about tattoos. It’s ughly, it’s fughly, it’s a do not want.

Cast your gaze upon it and tell me it doesn’t make you think about biker bars and athlete foot fungus tv ads.

Black nail polish adorning those hoofs and all. Apparently this is some crappy lyrics written by Baldy or Andy Skib on the tops of her feet. I keep picturing those hoofs crammed into too tight pumps with the tattoos bulging upward like tacky bloated pillows.

This is still not going to help her in her quest to bang Baldy and crew.