Posted tagged ‘balding’

2 -The Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets Chronicles:Chapter 2

May 18, 2011

When we last left Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets she was obsessing over Clay and throwing out racist remarks. She apparently is fond of making remarks like how she thinks BET (Black Entertainment Television) should be shut down. As a gal raised in the Deep South I always said some of the worst racists could also be found on the other side of the Mason-Dixon line.

Eventually her love for Clay was replaced by love for another Idol also-ran, Constantine Maroulis, he of the curly hair and ego the size of Detroit and its outlaying suburbs. That love must not have been so strong because Mary Ann/Holly didn’t make any effort to set up a Con board, she just added a section for Conny in her RHT board instead. Her inappropriate behavior got worse…

Once it came out that Constantine was dating someone named Kristen Zang she lost it again. Mary Ann/Holly started stalking Kristen, sending threats via MySpace and other social media. She did all of this while claiming to be a ‘close personal friend’ of Connys. Here she is as ‘Iluvconstantine’

“IluvConstantine wrote:
first of all, don’t try to justify yourselves. And secondly, I am not the names you mentioned. Everyone knows about Kristen. And as for her my space account. I happen to be on Constantines space account sending him an email when i saw her new pic on his top 8. I have to say she is looking sluttier these days from her Leo dicaprio days anyway.

I could care less about Zang. I just found it interesting when I viewed her page and saw Robyn’s latest comment like they were good friends.

Does she know how you people talk about her over here?”

Apparently Zang used to date Leonardo DiCarprio at some point before Constantine.

“IluvConstantine wrote:
Constantine and I are good friends. He has a special set up on his myspace for his friends and i do have his personal email and its not the one that was posted on this site. he knows what i think of some of the chicks he dates. i told him KZ is pretty wild and he says she is just a fun person. He also mentioned she is afraid of getting hurt. Yes, I do agree that cheating on her wasn’t smart. It’s one of the reasons why I chose to just remain friends with him. “

“IluvConstantine wrote:
don’t know why i bother explaining myself.

i do not bash kz on other sites. i don’t post on any other sites but the ai board. you people don’t know who i am, and i hate to say it but i am beautiful, classy and smart. I also make very good money so please save your jealousy remarks for someone else.

i don’t find kz that attractive. she is not a supermodel, she has practically fell off the face of the earth since leonardo and she broke up. She has not had a steady boyfriend since then…hmmm i wonder why? because she is a skank. Of course, she is going to be nice to Cons fans – ask Giddle. She has a major ego. And being with Constantine was another notch to her. yeah she still likes him but is playing games, because he is.
Now Charlize Theron – now that is beautiful. And I wouldn’t put it past Constantine to want a try at her. Too bad she has a boyfriend. Charlize is much classier than KZ. KZ is nothing but a flakey bar hound. Get Real people.

im speaking the truth.”

Ooooh, lots of that green eyed monster, Jealousy, in those remarks.

“IluvConstantine wrote:
ok, to answer some questions.

first of all, im starting to like this Ho chick. She is pretty and she is an animal lover.

Did anyone check out Gielle on Contantine’s myspace? She use to know him at Boston Conservatory. She moved to NY and recently lost a close friend. Constantine emailed her and as you can read in his comments sections she is already asking him out for food and drinks. So what happens when he is back in LA?

Let me tell ya. It’s easier to meet people on the east coast compared to the west coast. Constantine grew up knowing a lot of celebrities. (can’t go into it) He has Hollywood on his side. He is a cute guy so cute girls will want to date him. But mostly they appear to be models.

Right now, Constantine is a kid in a candy store. He has women coming at him in every direction and he is having fun. He was very serious with Ashley and is still hurt over that relationship. I do recall Ashley saying Constantine can be very manipulative.

Constantine is nothing more than a major geek in a beautiful man’s body.”

Many people had caught on by this time that this was Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets yet again. Someone called her on her lies on the board at American Idol Conspiracy and what did Mary Ann/Holy do? That’s right, throw L Anne Carrington under the bus by outing L Anne’s lies about being pregnant. For more info on that be sure to check out L Anne Carringtons Book Site.

“IluvConstantine wrote:
hey robyn dear. You don’t know me so watch yourself.

You are a joke about your conversations with KZ. Please. How interesting that all three of you jumped on her myspace account. Oh wow, I wonder why that is? Nosey bitches.

Ho makes a good point. I’m sure KZ found out about a lot of girls besides the three muskateers sleeping around with Constantine this past summer and she is not the type to tolerate it. I find it interesting though that she is still on his top two myspace page. Constantine told me they still talk but didn’t elaborate.

You don’t have to be so mean on the boards.”

She then took it to an entire new level by trying to claim she also slept with Constantine Maroulis.

“ As for me, yeah, I was with him, and my experience, not anything like yours. And I wouldn’t spill it on the boards. Sorry guys. But it could be why he still keeps in touch with me. And I will add that I didn’t just screw him either – he actually took me out in public not hid me behind a hotel room. Yeah, I’m very pretty, tall and blond. And I was not in the bar very long either.”

It was at this point that Constantine Maroulis blocked her on MySpace, told her to leave Zang alone and told her to fuck off.

And it continues on even with no way to contact Maroulis.

“IluvConstantine wrote:
Because I dated him before I fucked him. And it wasn’t hardcore the way you people make it sound. It was much nicer and more romantic. And we still keep in touch – gee, I wonder why? Maybe, because I didn’t make it easy for him, that’s all Im saying. He never calls me at 2 in the morning, he calls at normal hours or when he is town, we go out and have a bite to eat or talk about music. We actually have intelligent conversations, not the stupid crap you three talk about with him. It sounds like high school. And yeah, he is a pretty smart guy. Hate to disappoint you all. We have become good friends.

You know maybe if you girls really played your cards right with him, you could have developed a great friendship with him or even more. But you will never know that now, because each one of you just gave in to him. It is hard to meet people when you are on the road – he is not lieing here. And of course, he has a different girl in each state. He is not in any state very long now is he? Constantine goes for the classy, smart and respectable type, not the bar hounds that chase him down and make it obvious what they want from him. I bet he would “shit” if someone came to his hotel room and didn’t have sex with him. That’s the kind of girl that holds his interest. He needs a challenge.

Oh and hear is some news for ya. This KZ chick – dumb as a stump – nice person though – but a major slut. She will be in LA getting her share, I’m sure. She loves to plays games with the man. Keep your ears open.”

It was then that she called the employer of another Constantine fan (at the time, not now) that had actually had a relationship with Maroulis. She tries to get a lawyer fired by babbling out a crazy pack of lies. She called the lawyer too. I’ve heard the recording of the phone call. It ain’t pretty.

Here’s what the lawyer/stalking victim posted publicly to Mary Ann/Holly.

“OK, MaryAnn. Who is stalking who now?

If you call my boss again, I WILL file a restraining order against you. AND I will sue you for defamation of character, because calling my employer and telling him you are going to file harassment charges against me is slander. Not that you are going to file them anyway, but even if you were – you have absolutely no business doing what you are now. You are a psychopath!

I have your phone number now, since we have caller ID. And unlike you, I don’t make hollow threats. So you better knock it off or I will take legal action against you so fast it will make your head spin.”

Mary Ann/Holly then went on Constantine’s My Space page to deny it.

“3/29/2006 11:10 PM

The thing is that Constantine didn’t really do anything to deserve such harassment. He gave those girls what they had been begging him for all last summer…he didn’t promise them their hand in marriage. He is a single guy just having fun. But, he is not alone, I too have been slandered and lied about to no end and I haven’t posted on a message board in at least 8 months. Just don’t have the time. I will not give those two a response of any kind….my lawyers will handle it. They are just jealous and lonley young women.

My assistant and I both have reported those fake Constantine myspace accounts….I think there have been at least ten. I too have had to take down four on myself.

Hopefully, they will find a new hobby and leave everyone alone. Constantine recently has been unkind to me, thanks to them, and I’ve supported the hell out of him, but, I still wish him well with his career. I’m sure he will wise up one day. “

Another lie. Mary Ann/Holly doesn’t have an assistant. She was a PA at the time. She’s claimed at various times to have worked at Sony, been an advertising executive, worked as a lawyer and other outlandish careers that you don’t go from being a PA to. She’s got a faked Linkedin profile with some of her supposedly jobs listed.

Anyway, I have to go weed the garden and go to a lunchtime sales meeting at work. More later on this one.. If you get bored waiting for the next little bit be sure to check out and their article on the proper use of Sock Puppets. When I saw it I thought immediately of our squirrelly maven of Sock Puppets.

Idle Idol – David Cook Tards

April 15, 2011

When there’s nothing much happening in the world of any particular American Idol stars career or public life you can count on one thing. The tards will invent some of the most pathetic ‘NEWS’ speculating on everything from penis size to how crappy or wonderful the upcoming release is. Most of the time it’s nonsensical gibberish, the computer equivalent of a thousand monkeys with typewriters tapping and pecking out “It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times”

Sort of like a far dumber version of the tabloids. I always said my two fantasy jobs I would kill to have would be a) being a vocal coach for American Idol because every year a new naive crowd of starry eyed youngsters come in with very bad singing habits. My second fantasy position would be writing for Weekly World News just so I could make up all the strangest of stories like “Bat Boy Endorses Ed McMahon For President” or “Aliens Have Stolen The Corpse of Elvis Presley!” It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times..Right now WWN is claiming that Michael Jackson faked his death and that Sammy Hagar was abducted by aliens.

This week has seen a speculative shitload of stupid. Apparently No Longer Baldy tweeted about Pia Toscana’s Idol ouster, said she was talented. She tweeted back and said something about seeing him ‘Thursday’.

So what would the average non-crazy person make of those tweets? Perhaps that Cook was complimenting Pia because, wait for it, she’s pretty good. Her texting back to say ‘Thanks’ and ‘See you on Thursday’ might mean she’s happy a previous Idol winner thinks she’s good and both of them will be at next week’s American Idol results show.

But in funked up fan land they are taking it mean that Cook is boinking Toscana. Toscana, sounds like those crappy pasta dishes that Pizza Hut is pushing.

People have been doing ugly tweeting at Pia to leave Cook along. David has been receiving scads of tweets ripping on him and begging him not to date Pia. That’s when they’re not simultaneously freaking out in good and bad ways over the released lyrics of his soon to be released CD. Criticism, assumptions, and just out and out delusional spamming David Cook.

One of the ones jumping on the criticize Cook and driving some of the who’s he balling gossip is that ever popular and sane set of sockpuppets of one Holly/Mary Ann Ellis over at David Cook Uncensored. She’s talking to herself again and pretending it’s huge groups of different people while banning anyone with a clue just how much talking out of her ass she’s been doing.

Holly Mary Ann Sockpuppets seems to be on the internet 24 hours a day now. How she does that and holds down a job is a mystery to me. I’ve been told she’s had to take psych leave from her job before and the last time she was on DCU for hours on end it was due to being off for being ‘off’ mentally. Please Mary Ann, get help. Stirring up rumors and selling them to the tabloids can’t be healthy for your mind. Everyone knows your Sockpuppets so give that a rest too.

Baldy No More

March 18, 2011

Looks like the evidence is mounting that what I pointed out months ago is true. David ‘Baldy’ Cook has had something surgical done about the ‘Baldy’ part.

See for yourself…

Sort of the balding on my way to being a bitchin’ insurance salesman or middle manager look. That hairline is mighty far back and this was only last year.

and now…

Square fake-looking hairline that all former baldies with new fake hairlines sport. I wonder if he got plugs or the whole enchilada where they take a wedge of your scalp at the back and transplant it to your forehead? I’m betting on the latter, especially with the straight line hairline. No wonder he was only seen wearing those sweaty-looking knit caps for eons, hiding the Bride of Frankenstein stitchlines.

This is a photo of Jeremy Piven after having that type of hair restoration.

Better than going with a lace-fronted custom made wig like John Travolta. But what’s that silver whistle around his neck all about? It is a rape whistle to blow if Svagina or Needacock or Holly Sockpuppets gets near and tries to touch parts south?

You just do not know how tempted I am to go lurk at the charity brain cancer thingie Former-Baldy is running in. It’s right down the road a short hop skip and jump from my house. I want to see the hairline up close and sweating. And I want to point and laugh at the fraus that have spent thousands of dollars and traveled hundreds of miles to lurk around a charity event in vain hopes that a man young enough to be their son would notice them. It’s a win-win.

Speaking of which, sounds like there has been oodles of grumbling about how only ‘crappy seats’ were available to the concert he’s playing in conjunction with the charity run. Did it ever enter the heads of any of the droolers that perhaps actual, oh, I don’t know, cancer sufferers might be the ones with the good seats? The mental images of the usual gang of idiots trying to trample cancer patients to catch Baldy’s attention on stage is sick and amusing at the same time.

I’ll be back to talk about a certain tranny-assed douchebag’s grab for more fan money in a few…

ETA: bulletin board and chatroom open. You will need to register with Yuku to use it first. –

David Cook Uncensored – Ignoring The Facts Again

August 10, 2010

Late last night Sandy posted this comment about the recent happenings over at David Cook Uncensored – or as I refer to it David Cooktards Unhinged.

It sure has been slooooow lately at DCU. Members have become fed up with Holly/MaryAnn’s silly sockpuppet games and are jumping ship. This is just making her more and more desperate and she and her sockpuppets have been trying to pull rumors out of thin air to stir up interest in the board again. First there was the short video posted by David’s bandmate, Andy, which showed a blond woman at the table. Almost everyone thinks it looks like David’s manager but Holly and her sockpuppets keep insisting it looks like another cute, young blond who David MUST be secretly dating because he isn’t sitting next to her.

Then Holly pulls out an old photo and tries to tell the members that it was taken at a secret “private party” in the Philippines and tries to start a rumor about the mysterious brunette in the background. But several members recognized the picture as coming from a Skechers photoshoot and try to tell her the brunette is just a model. Holly still insists her Philippine source says it was taken there until one of the members posts a photo from the same photoshoot with the same brunette model in the background that was used in advertisements.

Next Holly posts another old photo taken in a bar that has some random blond in the background and tries to tell the members that it is Katelyn Epperly who was with David that night. Of course the blond girl looks nothing like Katelyn and it doesn’t even look like she is with David. And the photo was taken a full year before Katelyn even apppeared on Idol so it is highly unlikey she would have even met David then. But little details like that aren’t important to Holly when it comes to starting rumors.

Now, apparently someone on twitter tried to warn the cute, young blond(who Holly insisted was in Andy’s video) about Holly’s rumor-mongering and boy is Holly irate. She is threatening to ban members right and left if they do not post within a prescribed amount of time and has enlisted her gang of sockpuppets to root out the lurking traitors on the board while she “goes out to dinner.” Of course by now just about anyone with half a brain could figure out who the sockpuppets are. It’s just that obvious. What an idiot she is!

I had seen all of this over at Mary Ann Sockpuppet’s place and heard people discussing on other boards how she’s really grappling for the flimsiest of possibilities to tout as facts. Was just getting around to posting about Holly/MaryAnn inventing lovers and one night stands for Cook.

This is Mary Ann Sockpuppet’s personal modem operandi. Things get slow and dull in Baldyland and she invents a scandal, a love affair, a rumor and all her sockpuppets chime in on the matter. The difference is now most people are aware it’s a pack of lies without a shred of evidence or truth. It’s damn pathetic.

How does she do it? It’s simple. Example. Recent photo of David Cook from Busch Gardens Williamsburg.

If I were Holly/MaryAnn Sockpuppets I’d say he was balling that fat middle aged lady in the seat right next to the one it looks like he just emerged from. I’d give her an exotic modelesque name, perhaps lift a profile or two from Model Mayhem or some other modeling site. Or perhaps say he’s having nasty three ways with the he/she and super bald guy in the background. Give them D list celeb names and invent some sleazy story, sell it to the tabloids while getting the sockpuppets to chime in about how ‘disgusting’ he is.

He looks like all the frau avoidance maneuvers have left him aged now. Almost haggard looking. Perhaps it’s just the heat.

First American Idol Sex Tape!

August 7, 2010

Ladies and Gents we have our first AI contestant sex tape and nope, I’m not talking about whatever it was Frenchie was doing that disqualified her from the contest.

I expected this with gleeful anticipatory schadenfreude for a long time now. I just never thought it would be this Idol.

Top contender in the Idol sex tape was Constantine Maroulis, walking oral fungus of the greasy hair, tic tac dick, discriminatory fucking of various wenches and possible STD carrier. Only thing is I’m not sure one itty bitty tape or DVD could contain his over-inflated head. His ego would leave no room for Mini Maroulis aka Tic Tac Dick.

Or some very fuzzy camera phone video of some young buck, like Lambert or whoever, getting some chemically inebriated action while being secretly recorded. But not this…

According to Gossip Cop it’s Fantasia that’s on the verge of having her sex tape outed. Apparently the married man she’s knocking boots with is so exceptionally skilled in the bedroom arts she feels the need to record it all. You go girl, that’s bound to be the good good stuff.

Unfortunately this guy’s wife knows about the sex tapes and has referenced them in the divorce proceedings. Not so good.

So how did Baldy do tonight? He’s tweeting about Arnold Palmer’s for dehydration. Doesn’t the dumbass realize you have to drink water out in the summertime?

Anyone there care to tell me what went down with the Busch Gardens show? I could use a recap for this joint. Contact me at ithrowhissyfits(at)gmail(dot)com

Buubuububuuubaldy And The Jets

August 6, 2010

Or lack of jets. According to the tweets of Andy Skib and Baldy they are stuck in some gawd forsaken airport because of a canceled flight. I’m guessing Cincy or Detroit from the looks of the airport pictures being tweeted. Looks like Cincy to me. If they are not up in the air by now they’re prolly stuck till tomorrow. These smaller airports roll up the carpets and stop accepting flights before midnight. Biggest airport near W’burg is Richmond Intl. which still isn’t exactly what you’d call big.

Guess that kills any hope David had of playing golf tomorrow. He’ll be traveling to Busch Gardens Williamsburg.

Here’s hoping all the FucBunnies and tards make fools of themselves publicly and the photos and tales circulate around. I await with baited breath.

I’m sure pizza screamer – scam book maker Daina will be there with bells on and a newer scheme. How about Kimberly, the stalker that moved to Hell Lay just to be closer to Baldy & Co? Pink Bunny Ears anyone?

Crickets, Garters and Williamsburg

August 3, 2010

So I’m hearing rumblings that at Carrie Underwood multi zillion dollar wedding in Jawja that not only did David Cook get to squeeze in some of that golfing he loves so much, he ended up catching the brides garter.

I’m assuming you know how that works, dear readers, everyone does unless they live under a rock. The groom tosses the brides garter into the crowd of bachelors and old lore says the single man that ends up with the garter will be the next one walking down the aisle to marriage.

Makes me laugh because at most of the recent weddings I’ve attended the bachelors and bachelorettes have behaved as though catching the garter or the bouquet was the worst fate in the world. Non grappling going on.

I don’t think this signifies anything with ol’ Baldy beyond some hijinks at a wedding reception. But apparently it is being discussed by his fans. Most are saying what I’ve said, that it would be nice for him to actually be able to date someone without people going nuts and certain nutball stalkers speculating and selling those speculations to the tabloids as facts.

Watching all the careful nameless discussions referencing this person and place remind me of the movie Beetlejuice. No one will utter the name because like an evil horny demon she/he/it might appear.

Yes, everyone keeps referring obliquely to Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets and her puppeteering place, David Cook Uncensored. DCU is starting to look a little like a ghost town with the exception of all of the sock puppets. Almost everyone there has figured out that Mary Ann is completely and totally bat shiat crazy demented and departed for saner places. I can hear the crickets echoing from the almost shuttered DCU from here.

You just know it has to be driving Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets into fits of rage and despair. I’m sure she’s speculating based on rumors she made up which of the gals at Model Mayhem might be the potential bride. She’s planning and spamming tripe at the chosen victim, creating rumors, selling lies and talking to herself right now. She’s just doing it all mostly alone now. A tin foil hatter muttering alone in the dark.

If I could wave around a magic wand and make things happen like the goddess I wish I was I’d make David date, publicly, without fear of losing fans, without restrictions. Starting with the day of the concert at Williamsburg’s Busch Gardens. Baldy and date on the Tilt-O-Whirl at a 100 paces with the more crazy fans turning a blind eye to any of it.

Everyone needs love. Even balding musicians. Even nutballs. Just not with each other.