Posted tagged ‘Carrie Underwood Christmas Special’

Ending…

December 1, 2009

….with a bang not a clusterfuck.

Listen up David,

As was pointed out yesterday in the comments now is the dangerous time for you in Fantardlandia.  Now and few remaining gigs.  Get more security, add a few more strong arms and for the love of blubber, stop the meets & greets.

Why?

Because with the end of your tour the tard stakes get ratcheted up to an entirely new level of daring and insanity.  I expect the tard antics to get crazier as the possibility of meeting/seeing you starts to evaporate like water in the Sahara. Expect assaults on the tour bus, lies to get inside your hotel/bus/rehearsal/toilet time/whatever.  The concert shrieking will get louder and the same old faces will act sillier.

The end of the tour just has to hold them until your Christmas special with Carrie Underwood airs.  But after that your tard pack faces a long amatory desert with no you while you work on your album.  The tard meltdowns will be so spectacularly ugly.

Good for me, bad for you.  You actually have to suffer through the stunts, I merely get to point and laugh along with everyone else.

This Is It

October 28, 2009

Dear David,

I saw you twittered from the Nokia last night that you were at the premiere of “This Is It”  Smart of you to be seen on the red carpet as a way to see and be seen. Various media outlets have the same interview with you and Adam Lambert. Keeping your name out in the media is smart.

What is not smart is feeding the fraus media tidbits like your upcoming Christmas special with Carrie Underwood. Which sounds kind of dreadful considering you didn’t even bother to perform seasonal music. You need to more carefully consider which media turns will enhance your career and which will just drive your fans to newer heights of insanity.

Like, very possibly, making up stories and selling them to tabloids to drive board traffic. Those people you really don’t need as fans because it’s really all about them and their needs, not any real appreciation of your music.

So Not Rock & Roll

October 25, 2009

So this week you participated in two very different very not so rock & roll type projects, ABC’s “Home Makeover” and the unnamed Carrie Underwood Christmas special. So “Home Makeover is a worthy project, but not so much rock & roll because it’s so middle America, which can be already sometimes. You’re pretty ‘middle American’

But a network Christmas special?? That’s so not done by real rockers. Pop flavor of the week, sure. You will never see Keith Richards on the telly set wearing a Santa Hat and singing of peace on earth. Does Metallica appear in ‘The Christmas Carol’ in Edwardian clothing? Nope, not done usually, with a few very awkward exceptions as seen below.

Now that has to be one of the most uncomfortable looking televised sing alongs I’ve seen. For all the cheery banter before hand Der Bingle looks somewhat horrified, like he just witness Bowie bang his dog on the front lawn before trying to snort the mistletoe. It’s not very rock & roll even it’s hella awkward. The thin white duke momentarily sold out.  I’m sure he didn’t think it up, his management did in a fit of madness.

Just like someone on your management team thinks it would be good for you to do something similar.

I think you’re coming to a fork in the road soon where you will have to decide if you want to earn credibility as a rocker or be the typical post-Idol idol and be Mr Pop pandering to middle America and the frauen. Only you hold the power to decide which.

BTW, for this Christmas get help for Neil. I heard some disturbing rumors about him and the frau and his drinking. He really needs help.