Posted tagged ‘David Cook Uncensored’

RCA Drops David Cook!

May 10, 2012

About an hour ago David announced that that he no longer had a recording contract with RCA. David Cook was from their pool of official artists. He no longer has a contract with RCA at all plus he has left 19 Entertainment management.

There’s no official word from RCA yet but it’s just a matter of time. This rumor has been buzzing since shortly after This Loud Morning was released and ended up with less than stellar sales numbers. The unofficial word was that this would be announced shortly after Cook’s “American Idol” gig tonight. Just didn’t anticipate that Cook himself would release the news before the official talking heads at RCA.

Well what next? Looking for another label and performing more new songs on television shows? This could be either a really good thing or terribly bad. Will certainly be interesting to watch and see where Cook goes from here.

Once thing is for certain, once David Cook Official goes dark his frauen will have to put up a soooper seakret board on a free boards site and move their twaddle there. Sucks to be them.

Speaking of which one of them hacked Cook’s momma’s Twitter account for a day or so. I don’t know what was said or who did it but apparently Beth Foraker is pretty pissed off I’ve been told. I would be too. So not called for at all, particularly on the week of Mothers Day.  Sounds like something Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets of the defunct David Cook Uncensored might do..

Happy Muthas Day whoever did that..

David Cook Tards: Fightin’ For A Space In The Front Row

September 12, 2011

Back in the stone ages when I was a mere 15 I used to be totally insanely mad about a band called Mott The Hoople. A very virile and masculine-looking bunch in high boots, glittery makeup and a lead singer that made Bob Dylan’s tunelessness seem like crystalline pure notes. I was so insane for them I hitchhiked up to big old bad NYC at 15 to see Mott and lure Peter Overend Watts into my hotel bed. Didn’t happen but he’s still a sexy devil even at his age. Lord Ove, hit me up sometime. I’d even let you fish for the carp in my 250 gallon rain water container. And other things.

But I digress remembering my ancient days of tarding even if Overend makes me want to tard hard again…

There used to be an old Mott the Hoople song I loved…

….and it included the lyric –

“Everybody hazy, shell-shocked and crazy
Screaming for the face at the window
Jeans for the genies, dresses for the dreamies
Fighting for a place in the Front row”

It’s that “Fighting for a place in the front row” that concerns me tonight. We’ve had a few Gavin Degraw fans visit here to recount their non-tardness but claim that they are always in the front row and will fight for that. This bodes ill because there are a number of Cook Tards that are expert front row obnoxicons. They’ve been known to step on feet, curse out, push, shove, elbow, sneer, insult, cry, yell and other tactical maneuvers trying to get near that young peen on the stage. How else do they get the fifty million crotch shots needed to squee over at DCO and the departed lair of Mary Ann Holly Sockpuppets DCU? Oh, won’t someone think of the droolers needing their millioneth happy snap of David Cook’s unpointing pants!

I’m not sure the Cook Tards are aware of it yet but tickets for the shows are already on sale at a special pay Gavin fan site, so it’s likely if it’s not a general admission show that the front rows will have already been snapped up. The Gavin fantards are getting them first, not Cook’s herd. Oh, the huge manatee!!

Has to be karma again considering how Ladynsearch, RoseC and others were busy whining to his brother, Andrew Cook, that Andrew wasn’t playing Cook songs. Andrew was in KC and was DJing over at, where he used to DJ when he lived in the area. The Cooktards were busy twittering and tweeting him their outrage over his betrayal of the bro by his music selections. As usual lots of ugly bashing of Andrew but at least he will tell them when they’re all behaving like See You Next Tuesdays. He told them off. None of them picked up on the fact that he did play a song that Cook had written for another band.

Add in the disgusting fetishisticness about everything to do with Cook’s appearance singing the National Anthem at yesterday’s Chief’s game and their silly belief that they got RCAEd fired (he’s not, dumbasses) and you have enough bad behavior to make bad karma take notice of the bunch.

PS to Lord Ove – I’m kidding (No I’m not!)

David “UnBaldy” Cook’s Sophomoronic Debut Week

June 23, 2011

I guess I shouldn’t be calling Unbaldy’s new CD release ‘sophomoronic’ considering all I’ve heard is that first single. I hope for the sake of his musical career that it reinvents music, blows away the critics, earns him newer less crazy fans. But the way the fickle finger of fate seems to work it’s probably going to blow goats it will be so mediocre.

However Wehoscott is busy shouting everywhere that it’s going to be like the second coming gang banged sparkle unicorns rolled in ice cream, sprinkles and chocolate syrup. He claims the earth will move, uh, honey, if the earth moves while you’re listening to “This Loud Morning” you should probably check to make sure you didn’t fall out of your chair.

No Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets updates as she’s been super quiet, like a spider in hiding planning out her next move. I know where I hope it is to. I wonder if she’s going to participate in the tard madness that is Cook’s release week next week. Pennsylvania is a mere hop, skip and proverbial jump from NYC and the New Jersey Six Flags he’ll be appearing at later in the week.

Me? You could not PAY me to go anywhere near a Six Flags. They smell like ass and are crammed with the type of folks I try to avoid without adding the sweating like a mule madchens and fraus of his crazy fan base. The smell will be horrendous! Something like high noon in the slums & favelas of Rio.

The most fun part of watching the David Cook insane fan base squeal over this is the contretemps over the private show he’s giving at NYC’s Paramount Hotel in Times Square. If you’re a hotel guest you get to attend this show along with VIPs and contest winners. This is happening mid morning the day of the CD release so tards are scrambling to book rooms. But many of them are complaining that even as the hotel advertises its rates of starting at 200 bucks a night for this event the cheapest is from 375 upward. I don’t blame them, have to make hay while the sun is shining, I’d raise the prices too just to milk some of that frau lust. Capitalism is a bitch sometimes. Normal rates are $200. If you ring up hysterically demanding to be on the speshul bolt on floor, they slam you with ‘Jesus fucking christ not another horny old bag” fees

I am curious as to how the hard core wack pack is going to jostle from one event to the next quickly if they cannot stand in line for all of the events. Shortly after the Paramount show Unbaldy is due at the Best Buy in Union Square. To attend this event you have to be one of the first 200 to buy his CD when it goes on sale at 12:01 am on Tuesday morning. You’ll get the chance to have him sign your CD and attend a show. Tards are already talking about lining up on Monday morning to be first in line.

Chapter 16: Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets Chronicles

June 10, 2011

So now that Holly proclaimed that they were closing David Cook Uncensored it seems that all they did was change the name. Now it’s David Cook News Board.

Compare for yourself – all attempts to search for David Cook Uncensored lead to the newly created David Cook News Board on Foromotion. Very curious. Has someone not read Shakespeare and his take on names, something about a rose smelling just as sweet if it were named something else. Well, I’m not smelling anything as sweet as a rose, more like something extremely fishy and foolish.

How goes the room mate hunt I wonder? Will the new room mate be annoyed by the operation of a pet sitting business out of the same location? Are there business zoning ordinances that perhaps someone is breaking? So many questions I’d love to know the truth about.

What Other Fantards Do You Know?

June 9, 2011

I’m not going to talk about David Cook’s failed single, intra-fan wars over the single, Kerry Kolsch goes Green Acres or some of the restless silly in any of the other fandoms. I’m not even going to pick on Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets today as I sense she’s busy trying to get that room mate for her townhouse advertised in the papers and changing the name of ‘David Cook Uncensored’ to the ‘David Cook News Board’.

Just a caution: If you answer an ad to rent a room in Yardley, Pennsylvania please make sure you Google your potential landlord’s name.

Instead I’d like to ask you what other crazy fandoms you laugh over and follow. Please share in the comments.

Are there any over-involved fandoms or folks out there that make you laugh besides the crazy American Idol ones? I know there are tons of crazier than the most horny Claymate fantards out there of many different things, everything from beauty pageants to plastic model horses besides the garden variety sort following actors/musicians/politicians. Share what crazy fan groups that bear examination, laughing and pointing.

I had my very own fantard spotting this morning – I had a tard-spotting today at Target but I didn’t know it until the silly gal was driving away.

I was minding my own business, standing in line to buy some random junk for the house when the whole damn register belt ‘Tha-WHUMP!’ Looked up and saw a 30sih-40ish woman with an ass the size of Cincinatti but with a regular fatty above the waist. Weird looking, like someone sawed a very fat chick in two and a regular fat gal in two and then reconnected the wrong bits. Oh she was rocking the sartorial splendor of a hot summer day in the Virginia Piedmont. She wore a the squished and dusty pair of black Crocs with faded to mid-gray old black stretch pants with a t-shirt resplendent with a photo of the two leads of the “Twilight” series with the motto “Twilight” above it.

Okay, so it’s not a crime to not know how to dress appropriately for age, body type and social situation. I ain’t no (to steal L Anne Carrington’s phrase) ‘stuck up skeleton whore’ ‘SWANKY’ (yeah, I’m fat) but what she wore didn’t do her any favors. But I didn’t think anything much of it, maybe it was the first thing she could find. No idea about trip to tardtown yet.

This big old redhead keep yapping at first about how ‘sorry’ she was that the store Hoverround cart she was riding rammed the checkout stand. She was told, no problem. And then it got weird.

Miss Hoverround started to speak, very sotto voice, muttering to herself like the crazed shopping cart lady in the park that tries to preach to the squirrels. She started softly enough before she proceeded to mutter just loud enough for us to hear about how some people didn’t realize they were taking up space in the handicapped line without being handicapped. WTF? It was the only line open and I had 3 items. She complained about the smallness of the aisles for the handicapped, how Target had no respect for the handicapped, blah, blah, blah and other bizarre mutterings. The cashier and I just kept staring at each other and rolling our eyes over Lil Miss Fatty Handicapped.

Let me state here I have no problem with fat people in general but I do when they need to walk and clearly refuse to do so because the store offers a Hoverround cart for the aged or infirm. At that point I had no idea if she was or wasn’t handicapped.

I get my shit and get, go over to the Starbucks inside our Target to get a Venti Latte, it’s hotter than hammered hell here. I get my iced coffee just in time to see Miss Handicapped get off the store rascal and oh so slowly waddle out the front door with her two bags of junk food. (Did I mention she had ice cream, ho-hos and fritos along with other high fat low nutrition things? Yes, I’m being super stupid judgemental..) We were going out to the parking lot at the same time, in the time it took her to walk out to her vehicle (near mine at least 30 spaces from the front door) I had my stuff in the car, the cart put up and I was sitting in my car, curious why she wasn’t parked in the Handicapped parking section right next to the store. She finally got in her mini van and pulled out just in time for me to read about twenty Harry Potter and Twilight bumper stickers on the back of the car, including a couple for fan fiction websites blaring proudly the links.

Oh how I wished I’d have been able to reach my cell phone camera I would have photographed this nutty Twitarder/Pottertard in all her glory. Suddenly I understand the five foot wide ass and lack of social skills. I wish I knew her username on Fan Fiction dot net and the other sites because I have a sneaking suspicion she probably writes scads of Harry Potter getting boffed by Edward the vampire porn. It would be laugh and point worthy.

So, what other crazy fantardships do you know of out there. Let me know in the comments.

Chapter 15 Is It? Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets Chronicles

June 7, 2011

So I’ve sobered up enough to update the Sockpuppet news. Highly recommend if you get to visit the Palm Beach/Hollywood/Ft Lauderdale Beach area that you take the nightly cruise up the intercoastal canal that goes by the mansions of the sinfully rich and ridiculously famous. It’s even more fun with a banana daiquiri in a hollowed out coconut in your hand. Stop and get some of that delicious cake over at Grampa’s Bakery in Danai Beach too!

During that interlude in the sun I temporarily forgot about Mary Ann/Holly and her highly fabricated tales till I saw this posting about 90 minutes ago at DCU

We decided to shut down the board.

No one is forcing us but we just don’t feel it is fun anymore.

Because there are so many gullible people out there that are also confused about the lies being told, they are afraid to post here. This is a board that allowed members to have free speech within limits of course, but we just don’t find it fun anymore running this board. We also have about 45 new members just waiting activation but we are tired of dealing with trouble-makers.

I am sure if David goes public with his girlfriend we will all know about it.

We both have many other projects to pursue and we want nothing to do with the idiotic fans out there anymore.

We also learned that there is a court order in progress against that blog which is currently blocked that has caused much distress to this board and I am sure the woman who is seeking a possible lawsuit against the blogger. We don’t know the details, but it was what we heard. We don’t want any part of that nonsense.

We don’t anticipate David selling much on this second CD. He will do well, but it will probably be less than the first CD.

Good Luck to everyone out there…

No lawsoots… no court orders, nothing that I’ve seen. Also, how will they even know where to send it considering I’ve been accused of being Top Idol and Idletard AND someone from the Pink board. Don’t you have to know who is behind something to sue them? Good luck with that one.

The most they’ve been able to do is claim that charming photo with the dog and the webpage made with photos lifted from other websites is a copyrighted piece of intellectual property and take down two photos. Big whoop. They are hosted other places all over the internet. Besides, something has to be original to be copyrighted and none of those photos used to design the website actually belong to the webmaster. I could simply rehost them along with the scads of other Sockpuppet photos and information I have yet to post, including many involving the mods, at some place like a Russian hosting company that would not honor your claims of copyright. Besides, all of these photos are freely posted willy nilly on various boards.

Oh Miss Sockpuppets, your thin veneer doesn’t hide your real truth.

Please take down your board, you would be doing David Cook a very big service if you did. There would be less speculation on fake romances, no more attempts to sell made up information to tabloids, and other bits of idiocy. No one would stalk women even slightly connected to him any longer and he could stop watching over his shoulder when doing the show on the East Coast.

Take up knitting or gardening instead. It’s safer for you Miss Sockpuppets and it’s safer for Cook.

Chapter 13 (D’oh!): The Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets Chronicles

May 29, 2011

*did you think you were going to be able to get away from my posting more of your insanity merely because I’m now somewhere between Miami and Palm Beach? I don’t think so.*

So Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets is now SURE I am Top Idol. Wrong again dumbass.

I will decide who gets in this restricted thread so I can keep a tighter reign on it. This GF thread is not a big deal but some members have made it a bigger deal than it is. They are turning discussions of public figures into something else and going overboard. It is simply gossip in the same manner as other news publications such as Just Jared, TMZ, Perez Hilton, VotefortheWorst, Radar and others. All celebrities who have girlfriends etc, are discussed in ALL news media including that crazy blog and no I do not read over there. I had visited a few times and that was all I needed. Filled with so many indiscrepancies. And yes, I do have Melinda Green’s ip address to give to authorities if needed. But her posts do not concern me. I refuse to waste my time on such losers over there. It is none of their business who I am and why do they care?

We are a much milder board than the other news publications that allow open comments. We at least try to keep the comments private. It is the troublemaker members that have exposed what is being discussed in here on other blogs or boards and making it more than what it is and make it public.

There is obviously some member(s) on this board that are carrying the wrong information over to a blog that has no idea what they are talking about. They are only trying to cause trouble and lure people from the board to this crazy blog. That is all.

They can take as many screenshots as they want of this blog. We are doing nothing wrong.

Their discussions over there have nothing to do with me. They do not have my ip address and whomever they are discussing was apparently a member here and sent them an email to join the board or were trying to gather information. Let them believe what they want but that blog doesn’t concern me at all.

I have a good idea who spilled the beans from the restricted thread. Some of them were banned and won’t be back. This was the wrong board for them in the first place. The same with the tramps. They have all been backstabbers on this board and had frequented that blog to have members join their board. That is very sad because I really enjoyed all of them as I am sure everyone else did.

I would be more than happy to let everyone on this board but some members are just a little over the top and spoil it for everyone. Melinda Green’s T*P IL and now her other blog are no different in how they treat people. We have screenshots too of her slanderous ways. Lots of screenshots. Even screenshots from The Heather’s Board. I thank my members for sending me the information. It will be up to the people they discuss to take action on them. Melinda Green is a writer which means she knows how to manipulate and twist words around. I suggest she put her education and writing skills to better use.

And for the record, we never sent anything to OK magazine regarding Kimberly Johnston. She did that. And as for Lana Jade, one of her friends sent me the photos. The same thing with that Shannon photo they posted. I never saw that photo on my website.

Looks like someone else is stalking Shannon. That is what they do from what I hear. They try to make friends with these women and that is how they get the scoop.

One more thing, after June 28th and after David’s tour, if the guy doesn’t do anything newsworthy, I will be taking the board down. I am also getting tired of members coming on here for the wrong reasons. If you don’t want to discuss David Cook and participate in a forum then you don’t belong on here.

This board’s intent was never to criticize or tear someone apart that is associated with David, it was to discuss and give our opinions

and you’re ranting I don’t have your IP number? How does resolving to Yardley Pennsylvania grab your ass?

Here’s where another sockpuppet named Dweeb kissed her ass.

Thank you Holly.

Maybe someone should just create a blog on Melinda Green and expose all her dirty business. That girl needs to get a life instead of googling and stalking innocent non public people and trying to destroy them. Too bad if she doesn’t like someone’s opinions. We are all entitled to have our own whether she likes it or not. What is she the savior of the internet?

A blog about Melinda Green? Please do that because I’m so sure that would be amusing. Again, I am not Melinda. I’m not the savior of the internet. I consider myself the person that comes after Miss Internet Manners and punishes the ones that make the rest of us clutch our pearls over the stupid, petty, dangerous liars like Miss Sockpuppets.

Tomorrow or the next day (depending on internet access and if I go off to Key West for a couple of days), Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets checkered ‘career’ and new enterprises.