Posted tagged ‘Frau’

David Cook Official is Officially Dead

November 28, 2012

Makes me wonder what will happen in his frau pack today. I expect to see weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth over the fact that 19 Entertainment simply allowed the domain to expire and Go Daddy yanked the site down. The fan-created sites will be hosting the mass mourning and MJ’s will be overrun by hysterical frau.

Having the site down won’t do Cookie’s career any good but it will take the fraus underground away from him in a official capacity.

If Christmas wasn’t just around the corner I’d be tempted to buy the domain name just to put up a front page that looked not dissimilar to the old page, have a click in for more content just to have to lead to a page with a huge HA-HA on it. But I need my dough for plum puddings and the like.

Cook, you are truly free now from the clutches of your old corporate record company. Go nuts.

ETA at 1:15 EST – Looks like the website has been resurrected from the dead. Wonder who paid for and owns it now? Cook even tweeted about it. The freak out going on by the fraus must have been intense.

Adam Lambert Coloring Book

October 18, 2012

Yesterday some kind soul dropped this link into my lap –

The Adam Lambert Coloring Book

Hhhhhahahahhahahahhahahahahhaha!!! A COLORING book!  What are Sparkle Cows, like five years old?


The only way I can see actually buying and scribbling this coloring book is a) you’re intellectually challenged and like Adam or b) you are one of his 12 year old fans. Maybe if you are stuck in bed with a bad illness that requires serious narcotics and you need something simple to do to keep still in bed. Anything else is just pathetic.

This is the point in the crazy American Idol fandoms where the super crazy is released. There’s nothing much really happening with the artist, the second CD is a huge flop, there is no news, some fans drop off and the rest start conspiracy theories so complex they would be envied by tin hat wearers.

Next comes the dropping by RCA of Adam, cancelling the contract. No more CDs with RCA. The fans will spin this that now Madam will be free to pursue his ‘own original perfect’ music. That’s where the Cooktards are right now. More on them later.

And to the artist: That photo is linked to from Amazon. I’m not violating your ‘copyright’. Did you know that the image of Adam is intellectual property that belongs to his record company. Are you going to be paying them their cut of your sales?
Muuahahahahhaha! *insert evil laugh here*

David Cook Fantards Search Nashville & Write Some Bad Poetry

August 24, 2012

I’ve  heard from (Redacted)  that a large number of Cooktards have been busy searching Music City for any sign of David, his girl friend, dog, left over garbage, third cousin twice removed, any small hint of what his address might be in the city. They say that many have tried some rather desperate possibly illegal measures to try and find his home. Hope there’s a gate, a guard and a gun or he’ll be facing some horrors I’m sure.
Someone sent me this Tweet that really made me laugh. Poor Cook is getting this stupid stuff messaged to him every day. Add another guard…

@LivingInAmber
My ♥ is your garden, @thedavidcook. Come, plant your seed. All the dreams you conceive, spread them on me. Whatever you sow is all I need.
19 Aug

Reminds me of this from the original BBC production for television of “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy” except it’s way more ick factor.

Adam Lambert Misquoting, Dying & Vamping

August 16, 2012

So the Sparkle Cows have been glamping up a storm, rushing all over the interwebs to beat on anyone not agreeing with the idea that Adam with silver hair isn’t the sex-sayesty thing on the planet!! Eleventyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111!

It’s the Billy Idol Grampa Look!!

Don’t believe me, just check out the comments on any website containing reference to the bleach do. Either comments have been disabled because of stupidity or all negative ones are buried in an avalanche of cow drool.

Later he added more chemical damage to his hair by dying the bottom black and leaving the tips silver. Here he is vamping/clamping/glamping it up as either an old homage to Adam Ant or some type of gay vampire on a teen show.

Doesn’t he just look precious? He’s ready for his closeup Mr. DeMille.

But the thing that drew me in to post about Madam tonight is his epic fail of a tattoo. Bhahahahah! Lookit it!

What is so wonderful about this tattoo is two different things…

A) It reads in Latin – “Music Soothes The Savage Beast” which is hysterical when you take into account his freakish beast-like Sparkle Cows. Subtle underhanded fuck you in my eyes.

b) But mostly because the quote is all wrong and I’m betting he doesn’t realize it.

Two of Congreve’s turns of phrase from The Mourning Bride (1697) have become famous, albeit frequently in misquotation:

“Music has charms to soothe a savage breast,” which is the first line of the play, spoken by Almeria in Act I, Scene 1. (The word “breast” is often misquoted as “beast”, and “has” sometimes appears as “hath”.)

Bhahahah! And he has to live with that hideously inked mistake forever now!!
Seriously Adam, bleach will eventually fry your hair and cause it to fall out like autumn leaves hitting the ground and none of this erases the fact that your second CD is a huge enormous flop.

David Cook & Sig O – A Cautionary Tale..

July 2, 2012

Turns out some poor soul on Twitter by the name of Gradilea ran into Cook & Co. at LAX. He was kind enough to stop and talk for around fifteen minutes, holding hands and being all kissy with his gf while talking to Gradilea.

That is all well and good. Sounds to me like Cook is doing what people start doing at his age, having serious relationships that have a future with the gender of their choice. Nothing wrong with that. Good for him.

The problem is that poor Gradilea posted her tale on Twitter and a butt-load deluge of his wack-pack fandom immediately started twittering Gradilea about her Dave encounter and friending her. She has no idea that she’s fed the freaks, they don’t give a flying frink about her and they’ll just keep pumping her for info before dropping off once she has nothing more to say about the encounter. Some of them might even turn weird or threatening. It’s happened again and again in this wack job fandom.

She posted this:

Just talked to @thedavidcook at LAX. Seriously made my year. Even got a new picture!

That’s cool! But this started happening…..

@WordNerd4Life
@Gradilea I am BEYOND jealous. But extremely happy for you at the same time! @thedavidcook is amazing

Gradilea was kind enough to reply:

@Gradilea
@WordNerd4Life it was surreal! He was so polite and so was his girlfriend. He sat and talked to me for a good 15 mins.

Which brought this question of course:

@Hi_ImSus
@Gradilea So…..did the g/f introduce herself?

Translation for the Tard Language Impaired: How do you know it was his girlfriend??? Did she say it??? Who is this cunt passing herself off as Baldy’s girlfriend??? What is her name so we can stalk her????

And the reply:

@Gradilea
@Hi_ImSus not really. But they kissed and were all coupley

A familiar person that claims to not be over the top, stalking him or inappropriate sends her a message too~ she’s so popular now~

@rascalete
@Gradilea I would like to DM you, could you follow me. thanks

Our very own Rascalete who posts here to tell us we’re so wrong about the fandom. Gee, I wonder what she wanted to talk about in DM? What he was wearing, how he smelled, etc, etc..

Just the tip of the dirty iceberg….

 

Separated At Birth? Adam Lambert & Bill O’Reilly

June 28, 2012

There used to be a wonderful magazine around years ago called Spy Magazine.  I could not wait for it to come out each month because they had some of the funniest clever twisted humor around. A picture of Donald Trump as a tantruming baby for their “Cavalcade of Crybabies” issue and Hillary Clinton in bondage gear in the Oval Office.

One of my favorite features was “Separated At Birth” where they had photos of random celebs and peoples, animals or objects they resembled in some slight way.

This afternoon as I was reading through the political sites about the upholding of our nation’s Healthcare laws by the Supreme Court I stumbled across an article showing tv news people and their high school yearbook photos. This one of Fox News headliner Bill O’Reilly  made me laugh out loud.

Doesn’t he bear more than a passing resemblance to Adam Lambert?

Compare side by side. No Adam is chunkier but they both look like they came off the same gene pool. Since I’m not fond of either one will somebody please add some Clorox to that gene pool…

David Cook Relocates

June 14, 2012

…and the stalkers are already planning on moving to Nashville or visiting to ‘bump’ into him. ‘Bump into him’ is tard-talk for ‘Stalk’

Yeah, Nashville, home of the Grand Ole Opry, Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge and the Tin Pan South Songwriters Festival. But whenever I think of Nashville I think of this great classic film and my ex.

Apparently Cook was spotted by a Cooktard shopping in a Target store in the vicinity. He wasn’t alone. He was with the mystery girlfriend.

This caused some sort of meltdown last night in Cooktardlandia. Once it came out he’s with someone the tards went nuts. How nuts? Apparently one of the saner ones had to actually verbalize this to shut some of them up.

www.twitlonger.com/show/hrbetu

PSA To My Timeline: If you were a fan of David Cook before it became known he has a girlfriend, and you no longer are a fan, please do us both a favor and unfollow me. I really enjoy talking to genuine fans of David Cook and refuse to watch so-called “fans” throw away his cds, talk bad about him, etc just because he has a girlfriend. Those people who are doing this, either were never really a fan or live in a completely different world than I do, where they think he is owned by he fans, and I don’t want to be part of your reality. Get a life!!!

If any of my followers don’t see my side of things, and you unfollow me,that’s fine. I understand. I am here as a DAVID COOK fan and enjoy my time here. I refuse to let it be ruined by haters or fans who believe a fellow human being like David shouldn’t have a life outside of his music career. He’s a human like everyone else on this planet!!! He’s allowed to have a private life regardless of what you “fans” think or feel. As a whole, we are a wonderful fanbase and I love you guys but I will not allow the haters/attention getters get in my way of staying a lifelong fan of David Cook!!!!

Some smarts for a change.

Perhaps we all should chip in or host a bake sale to get Cook’s sig-o a body guard and printed ‘Whos Who’ of tards with photos.

Wonder how many tards are making plans to move to Nashville? Are Coolshades and Wehoscott shopping for real estate in Nashville now?

I have been waiting for this moment with baited breath for some time. Stay safe mystery gf.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did everyone see that some random tard called Andrew Cook an ‘asshole’?  LOL