Posted tagged ‘Krunk Jess’

Warning Gavin Degraw Fans! Beware The David Cooktards!

September 4, 2011

So it’s announced that Cook and co are opening for Gavin Degraw come October. Good for Cook. Going out on the road again, seeing all the same old faces trying to stalk him again. Stacey will be there, Crazy Earring Lady will be there, Ninasfeet will be there, Svajgert, the whole gang and of course so will Andoyne Junkie, WeHoScott and the other self-proclaimed ‘Weeds’. NYCarole will be there, in fact she posted about her ‘excitement’

Ahhhhh… breathe NOW! Thanks for the update! Anticipation like this is akin to the best foreplay ever!! I’m RHWY David Cook!!


Girlfriend, if anticipation is like foreplay to you then I suggest you’re doing it all wrong. Just get you a man/woman/whatever off Craigs List and get laid. Please.

I pity the Gavin Degraw fans because they are going to be subjected to a whole lotta crazy behavior coming out of a sea of delusion, denial and demented. Particularly any of his fans that are youthful, pretty and try to be part of the front row crew.

The front row is the most nastily contested piece of real estate at a David Cook show. Certain nasty individuals consider it only their turf and will do, say, elbow, slam, nudge anyone that gets in their way.

Don’t believe me? Read on, I’ve posted a fan review from a gig during Cook’s last tour about what happened when a lady and her teenager tried to get upfront by being the first at the venue. And none of the behavior in this account is unusual, it happens at every David Cook show. Forewarned is forearmed. Plan to elbow ’em in the gut or put a spike heel through someone’s Croc.

Concert Recap – Western Illinois Univeristy, April 14, 2009.

My daughter and I walked downstairs to the venue at 0530. Yes, a.m. We wanted first in line, we got it. *laughs* For my fifth and final DC concert I wanted (for once) to be first in line and in the front row. We waited outside in the cold until about 0730, which is when the next group of girls showed up – Corrine and Shauna. The four of us grabbed couches right inside the door to the venue and waited there for more people to show up. Around 8:30 or so we were joined by a few more people…. And yes, they wound up kicking us out of the Student union and back outside.

So back outside we go…. Where we wait in line a few more hours. By this time the rest of our group and the other group arrives, so there are around 12 of us sitting outside. It’s cold… we are miserable….. I felt bad for a few who were battling colds and passing the tissues.

I have to say this, spending hours and hours with people and switching off bathroom and food breaks (not to mention hot chocolate because it was freezing)… we had a pretty good time. Talking and laughing and joking around. There was no line cutting, I told everyone I had four in my group; they told me they had six in their group… down the line …. It was a plan and it didn’t change.

So the Venue staff lines us up at 5 pm inside the doors. First in line and I’m ready to go. They then tell us that they are now going to rope off the front of the stage for a VIP area for those that won passes, faculty, kids, event staff etc etc. There go my dreams of front row. Again. I of course am upset. Then I get interviewed by the local TV Station…. “Yes I’ve been here since 0530. Why? To be at the front of the stage!” Just a short little interview.

Venue staff think it’s crazy but laugh and are going to make sure I get in front of the stage now (my daughter and I). The staff were GREAT – they moved the VIP Barricades and made a little area for us to go to at the barricades in front of the stage. However, when we got inside there the Staff Guy was like, “No, no… that will never do. Hold on, going to move the VIP rope down some so your closer to the stage.” We were in front of a speaker. So I tell my daughter “Get ready, as he moves the barricade over, scoot down.” No sooner does he move the barricade that my daughter is SHOVED into me and now Serena, Corrine and Shauna are now in front of the stage in the first row, where previously they had been behind my daughter and I. The security guy in front of me asks me “What just happened???” and the Staff guy holds his hands up in surrender. Not much they can do, right?

I (of course) voice my displeasure at this. I am even nice about it. Loud, but nice. Finally, the girls agree that they will switch places with my daughter and me. Serena, Corrine, and Shauna scoot down while my daughter and I move over next to the VIP section to get in front. I am then stuck and wedged next to the VIP area and my daughter. Serena, Shauna, Corrine and Stacey are now all front row, and there is no room to maneuver. Again, I am calm, and I loudly object (for myself and the other two people I came with who were now shoved into second row at that point).

Needless to say, I spent the entire show 2nd row with the other people I came with. My daughter was in front, and that would have to do, as no amount of screaming or yelling was going to get me back in front. Is this fair? No. Is this rude? Yes. You’ve all seen the posts about “those that shall remain nameless” or “the stalkers”. You’ve all defended them over and over. Can you defend them now? Is there ANY excuse they can give? Were they there at 0530? No. How did “I” wind up in 2nd row and them in the first row? Could I have knocked them flat on their ass and taken back my spot in the 1st row? Yes. But I didn’t. I yelled and screamed at them, and they ignored me. The security guard standing next to me in the VIP area offered to move them, but the show started and I told him to forget about it, don’t worry- he gave me HIS spot. (Still second row but behind a few little girls.) This behavior cannot be condoned and for all those posts on all the message boards asking for people to “call them out”. I am. Here. Loudly. And NOTHING is being said here that I did not say directly to Serena, Corrine, Shauna and Stacey. You shoved my daughter and me to claim your front row spot, then when you so graciously offered to move over to give her a better view, you moved yourselves up front and knocked three people to second row. Absolutely no excuse in my book.

The reason I am writing this? Everyone heard me screaming. Yelling. Swearing. It has been twittered, and I’ve been emailed and PM’d on all the boards regarding it. This is the story and that’s what happened. Why am I naming names? Because Serena, Stacey, Corrine, and Shauna really shocked me that they would be that bold as to SHOVE a 15 year old girl into someone else for a front row spot. Shocked the hell out of me. I have defended these women all over message boards that they are NOT stalkers and it is their right to get to a venue at 6 am for a front row spot. But if THAT is how you get a front row spot, you certainly don’t deserve it.

Everyone is entitled to show up early for a good seat, and you take your chances you will. The flippin’ venue GAVE US a front row spot, a good one at that. But no – I get screwed again by people I thought were friends of mine.

* * * * *

Anywho….. The concert started and it more than made up for the 14 ½ hour wait in the cold, and the drama immediately proceeding…… Ryan Star (as usual) was amazing. I’m sorry (again) I didn’t tell you the little girls were in front of me Ryan! *laughs*. My daughter was in seventh heaven when Ryan was playing right in front of her. A nicer guy you will never meet!

Dave and Ryan both rocked the house – if you’ve been to a concert you know what I’m talking about. You can’t find a better performer than David Cook. The Banter was great, and the energy was amazing!

We were outside at the buses after the show. Don’t think I have ever been quite that cold in my entire life! Couldn’t stop shivering. David came out sometime around midnight, but announced he wouldn’t have long. By the time he came to our end of the line he didn’t have time to do more than sign the back of my daughter’s phone and smile apologetically when I asked for a hug. Then he was gone. I was more than happy to head home and get warm after that!

I was disappointed that once again no hug or photo… but it’s expected. He spent a lot of time at the other end of the line, and we knew his time was limited. I was grateful my daughter got her phone signed as he was running thru the rest of the line! We heard Neal came out after Dave went in, and I missed that! I was so cold I left right after Dave flew by our end of the line. I’m 0 for 5 and as this is my last concert, so I’ll remain that way.

This happened at a gig that was geared primarily to college students and young people. The same old same old showed up. I don’t know how Cook didn’t go postal on this people before the end of the tour.

Heed my warning Degraw fans or suffer at the hands of these extremely rude and over the top people.

David Cook – Adventures of Pizza Delivery Boy?

June 28, 2011

or Anatomy of the Tard Pack:

Last night Cook took an action that seemed sweet and nice on the face of it but after viewing the photos it’s pretty obvious it was an odious task. Probably something ordered by RCA management, another thankless task in a sea of crapola you must do to flog your new CD. He had to deliver pizzas to the whining tard masses lined up inside NYCs Union Square Best Buy. Same chicks that were complaining that the NYC popo prevented from lining up on the sidewalk that morning because they didn’t have a city permit to form a line. Heh.

Let’s examine this photos. David looks to me like a pizza delivery boy that just realized that he’s about to be stiffed for the tip on a big order.

Daina the Pizza Screamer Tard should have been creaming her whatevehs because he brought her and pals pizza.

He looks like this knowledge has cruelly sunk in. Someone on another board wrote this after viewing the pizza delivery photos…

The Five Stages of Living with a Frauen Fanbase:

1) Denial: “That will never happen to me. I’m not anything like Clay Aiken or Taylor Hicks. I sing CURRENT music and I’ll get lots of young, cool fans.”

2) Anger: “Why are all of these heifers in the front row AGAIN? I specifically geared this tour toward college students, but all I see is the same group of ugly trolls, night after night! And who are these idiots with light-up bunny ears?”

3) Bargaining: “Okay, let’s try something new. We’ll start passing out wristbands at the BACK of the line. If we can get some normal fans in the front row, my life won’t seem so pathetic.”

4) Depression: “I never should have auditioned for American Idol. I’ve ruined my credibility and my career. I’m no different than Clay and Taylor after all…these fraus are going to stalk me forever. I wish I was dead.”

5) Acceptance: “Okay, look. At least my tards are actually buying albums. They do provide me with enough money that I I don’t have to bartend anymore, so there’s that. And if I ever need to get laid in a pinch, I’ll just enlist the help of some alcohol and a paper bag.”

Then there’s stage 6, where Clay and a few other Idols are. Cook’s not quite there yet.

6) Milk your tards for every single penny you can wrest from them.

Last night the tards were tweeting photos of Cook and pals warming up and others they’d taken breathlessly pressed up against the glass like crazed paparazzi. Sad. Pathetic.

Chapter 8 The Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppet Chronicles

May 24, 2011

So Shannon was spotted with David Cook and got it full force from Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets. Not only was it her trying to make Shannon miserable, it was Mary Ann’s henchwomen, recruited from DCU.

Shannon – poor victim of Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets lust for Non-Baldy.

The dumb thing is that there was no direct evidence that Cook was that involves with Shannon beyond a hanging out with her and her being a model. We all know how obsessional Mary Ann/Holly is about models.

Amanda Maston, known on the board, actually stalked Shannon at Mary Ann/Holly’s behest. She not only bragged openly about it at DCU, she did things for Mary Ann/Holly to harass Shannon many times.

So what did she do?

Well, for starters after researching every little thing she could possibly find out Amanda started showing up on Shannon’s job, stalking her at her job, looking up a high school classmate of Shannon’s showing up at his job to harass him many times. Amanda also showed up at a publicity tour Shannon was hired to do.

The sick sad thing is that Amanda boasted loudly at DCU about her cretinous behavior like there was nothing wrong with what she did. Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets encouraged her and egged her on.

Amanda also said she was so gorgeous and hot, much more so than Shannon. Judge for yourself.

I have been told that Amanda no longer posts at DCU. She’s moved to LA to be an actress. Another blonde in a sea of blonds.

But Mary Ann’s harassment of Shannon didn’t stop there. Krunk Jess jumped into the middle of it, showing up at a gig with a plastic looking blonde wig and a brightly colored outfit like the one Shannon is wearing at the top of the page. Krunky Drunky and Neal Tiemann posed for the last photo..

And Becky is also guilty of stalking Shannon. David and Shannon were spotted together in NY at a casino and Becky went around to absolutely everyone, from the lowest casino employee to the security officers asking if David Cook was with a blonde lady. She bragged about this on DCU and is one of the nastier ones ripping into any women seen within 50 yards of him.

Becky is the one on the left, parents basement dweller and grocery store clerk.

Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets, harassing people in real life, using others to do it and behaving badly, all in a days work.

Futbol Imaginary Zexy-Time

June 10, 2010

So Sir Baldy and pals played last night during a professional soccer game in that most hip city, Salt Lake City. I don’t have all the details of the gig, nor do I really want them. Did they rush out to make shau on the field between games or sumfin? Whatever, I’m not a fan of his music.

But what peaks my interest are all the silly tweets on twitter about being ‘stage fucked’ last night by Baldy and crew. Reality check time, having sex and watching someone on the stage are two distinctly different activities.  I know those fans are obsessional about Baldy’s wang being ten feet long or some such nonsense but still.

There is no such thing as ‘stage fucking’.

There is crazy delusions of the mind and overweening ‘I haven’t gotten laid in so long that a stiff breeze on my arm makes me cum.’ Ladies, there’s no shame in being between male companionship that provides those essential sexual services but, for the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster please buy a sex toy and stop mistaking concerts by strangers with sex.

Besides, most of you tweeting about your stage-gasms are already on the David ‘Baldy’ Cook security team watch list for insanity. Oh yes, I know for a fact that such a list does exist complete with photos and information for security. You fantasize about being fucked by Baldy, while his security guys eye fuck the crowd looking for loonies. You have a better chance of being struck on the head by a solid gold meteorite than having hot sexy time with Baldy.

Go console yourself with another case of Twinkies. Besides, he’s probably crap in bed, most musicians are. They are spoiled bastards, used to just laying back and letting the fawning groupies do all the heavy lifting.

Twenty Four Hours To Tulsa Dumbass

February 18, 2010

Baldy, Baldy, Baldy,

When reports like those I’m hearing start rolling in I begin to think you’re kind of an idiot.

So Andy and pals are playing a gig in Tulsa. That’s awesome. Andy has a great voice and surely some of your tin-plated fame will rub off on him and he’ll have a shot at a real career that doesn’t involve hordes of cooing old fat ladies.

And the venue released the info that you will be a special guest at this gig for a millisecond before pulling it from their website. Stupid on their part and not particularly smart on your part. You should let Andy have his spotlight instead of horning in on it.

The fraus have been massing to attend this event because of the possibility you might turn up to support your friends. Celine is twatting she’ll be there with her imaginary gang to kick Kim,Kim,Kim, Krunk Jess and Svagina’s collective enormous asses. (I want to see photos of that even though I think it’s lame bullshit, idle threats, selling wolf tickets)  Celine, don’t forget your kneepads and to scout out which bushes to hang out in to improve your chances of handing out blowjobs to the band.

One of the fraus was on your flight to Tulsa. She twatted, tweeted and pissed her pants in excitement.

So it’s shaping up like your typical frau-laden clusterfuck. Enjoy.

And what the fuck up is up with that passive aggressive photo you have on your twitter now? An arrow pointing at your junk yet holding up a hand saying stop. Very passive aggressive, another visual hagiography for your worshipers to dissect endlessly.