Posted tagged ‘Mott The Hoople’

Adam Lambert & Brian May Ain’t Queen

February 26, 2012

So it turns out that the news Adam Lambert had been babbling about being the lead singer for Queen this summer before suddenly retracting wasn’t entirely stupid rumor. I was very sad to hear this considering I have adored Queen since I first saw them in my teens. I saw them on the stage of the Uris Theater on Broadway, NYC in May of 1974. I’d hitchhiked to NYC with my best bud to see my all time favorite band, Mott The Hoople, but Queen opened for Mott and that was that for me. I divided my teen tarding between hunky Pete “Overend” Watts and Freddie Mercury with Freddie eventually overcoming my love of Overend.

I loved Queen. Queen with Freddie Mercury. Not any of these mish-mashed Queen with a variety of people wanting to fill Freddie’s old ballet slippers. Queen stopped being Queen with Freddie Mercury’s untimely passing. You cannot consider anything really post-Freddie as Queen, more like half Queen, half something else. A different creature all together. More like a cover band or a karaoke band.

Of the three remaining members I have to say the only one left I have any love or respect for is the bassist John Deacon. John wisely realized that Queen with another singer is not only not Queen but some vile travesty. He retired since there was no more Queen.

But Brian May couldn’t accept that he should move on, free of Queen and make his own music beyond those two failed solo albums he did. He couldn’t leave well enough alone. He’s spent his post-Queen time either whoring out the hits of the band as fodder for commercials, putting new lead singers in place, creating ‘musicals’, whining that the planet doesn’t go vegan entirely or stop smoking plus trying to rescue various animal groups. While there’s nothing wrong with animal rescue I want to know what the hell is wrong with the man. Is flying around the world to view eclipses, playing with his stereoscopic photos and badger rescue not occupying enough for a guy pushing 70? Is he out of money? What, what? Stroke? Senior dementia?

I have to blame dementia. Or attention whoring. I can’t decide which one is responsible. Have time to waste? Bore yourself with Brian’s whining and whinging at his own blog.

Now Madam thinks he is up to the task? Madam, lover of shrieking and constant overuse of melisma? Judge for yourself.

Madam & Kris “Who” Allen singing with Brian “Attention Whore” May and Roger “Damn I’m Desperate”
Meadows Taylor

Compare with the master, the real champion Freddie Mercury

Sorry, Sparkle Cows, Adam Lambert ain’t no champion. He didn’t win “American Idol” and he’s not the champion of Queen. He’s not fit to hold Freddie’s old jock strap

Taking a gander over at the official Queen fan site I see that most of the hard core Queen fans are no more pleased than I am at the appearance of Adam in the Freddie slot.

Some interesting posts from Queen Online that seem to echo the general consensus that Madam plus what’s left of Queen is a terribly bad idea.

All this talk of Adam Lambert & Queenextravaganza is really just a state of cognitive dissonance. We, Brian & Roger all want MORE Queen. We want more of that magic from the four members of the greatest Rock band of all time. What a thrill. The amount of entertainment and good times millions of people have felt because of that “Magic”. 15 albums, DVDs, live bootlegs. It’s still not enough. But that’s a good thing. “Always leave them wanting more” is the key in showbiz.

But here is the reality. As great as Brian May, Roger Taylor & John Deacon are Queen would NOT have achieved this measure of greatness without that fearless, lunatic Freddie Mercury. He’s the main one that made them the champions. Freddie Mercury, with all his human foibles and bad personal choices, was one of a kind. He lived his life the way we are all too chickensh** (or wise) to do ourselves. He did whatever he wanted, he tasted everything, he tested all waters, pushed all envelopes, crossed all lines. The greatest rock & roll singer of recorded history.

Queen does not exist anymore. No matter how many “Queen +” projects they regurgitate. The Queen name should only be associated with Freddie Mercury’s involvement. There’s vault material with Freddie- there is more magic possible from the true Queen- outtakes, live shows, video. But without Freddie there is no Queen.

It’s as if Roger woke up one morning and said. Hey 40 Years? Let’s see if we can lose all credibility in the next ten years and obfuscate our memories of who really was the biggest creative force behind the band. The one who talked them into having another go at this band thing. The one who brilliantly named them. The one that designed their logo and image. Oh and just happened to make them millionaires by writing their first three hits. Who was that “one”? Hmmm Frank Merlin? Francis- Freddy Fender- aw who knows. Fast forward to 2021. Yeah, “Queen +”. “I remember them. They had like a different singer every few years or something, didn’t they?” but I know the names Roger Taylor & Brian May and they must be Queen cause they say so. Queen + $$$$.

Re: Dream Queen+Adam Lambert Set List

My dream Queen+Adam Lambert set would be something like this:

Brian walks out on stage at the first gig and says ‘sorry, folks, me and Rog misjudged this one – probably not for the first time – we can’t go on stage and play an entire set with an X-Factor winner. It wouldn’t be right. You can collect a full refund on your way out. Cheers.’
My ideal setlist:
1. 45-minute warm-up acoustic set with Brian and Roger.
2. Lambert joins them on stage and announces to get ready for the best Queen-related concert ever.
3. Huge movie screens drop down.
4. The long awaited Live at Hammersmith concert [or insert your fav Queen concert here] begins in Hi Def, 3D stereo as Lambert leaves the stage.
5. Audience enjoys the best Queen concert ever

The Queen fans may not be in love with the idea but the Sparkle Cows are living in delusion land as usual. They are starting to whine that Queen fans aren’t accepting of Lambert as the singer because, get this, they are a bunch of homophobes. Yes, Sparkle Cows trot out their most tired and ridiculous of all stupid excuses. Like no one could tell that Freddie Mercury was gay? Seriously?

I think when an iconic band has been around as long as Queen has, and when the lead singer tragically dies, there is a sort of understandable loyalty among the die hards to the music and the deceased. I remember, for instance, after Elvis’ death, as other entertainers started doing his songs, there was backlash. So the reaction isn’t surprising. I think some die hards fear Adam will become a permanent fixture in the band and “replace” Freddie, which ain’t gonna happen.

I also understand that not everyone will love Adam as I do. That’s ok. There’s room for all of us. The only time I get irked by Queen fans bashing on Adam is if they say he can’t sing (gotta be tone deaf there, lol ) or if it seems to be coming from a homophobic attitude, which is hilarious considering Freddie’s sexual preference. Some of the bigoted fans accepted Freddie as long as he played the DADT game, I guess, and can’t handle Adam’s openness, and then there are those who are still in denial about it.

Hey, Adam’s not for everyone. But it sure looks like a lot of Queen fans enjoyed him at the EMAs! I’m not concerned about those temper tantrumming over this. Adam’s gonna blow them away at Sonisphere!

KatieJ

Ah, KatieJ, bucking to be mod over at AO unsuccessfully yet again. Freddie Mercury was NEVER DADT. He was out. Adam disdain has nothing to do with sexuality, but sheer talent. Putting Madam in Freddie’s place in the band is like asking Justin Bieber to fill in for Pavarotti in an opera.

More babbling from the Sparkle Cows…

am sure that some Queen fans will not like anyone who sings with Queen, and some will never like Adam no matter what he does. Those who call him a karaoke singer obviously don’t know anything about him at all. Adam fights the stigma of emerging from a reality show, and, of course, being gay. That is unfortunate FOR THEM. Nothing will change those whose minds are made up. Perhaps others who are less rigid will learn something. I don’t look for Adam to gain lots of fans from the rock and metal world; however, this is an opportunity for Adam to gain critical acclaim for his work and get huge amounts of publicity, publicity which I hope his management will capitalize upon. There will always be haters. As Adam himself has said, they serve to give him motivation. He is going to do a great job and hearing him sing live will be a test for their preconceived notions.

dont understand that Queen’S fan’s to batching Adam like that. Sad because that is not Adam to ask to Brian May or Paul Taylor that he want to be there frontman for that one concert at july 7 so its because Brian & Paul like the Adam’s voice and they like him very very much.

So why the Queen’s fan’s not understand that… The frontman they have the name of the singer are Paul or Roger dont remember for already many years tell me if there fan’s b****ing that guy like they b**** Adam’S? Poor guy..they accept now that guy for be the frontman and that guy dont want to replace Freddie like Adam’S dont want too. He just accept that huge invitation of Brian & Paul for give to Freddy’S memories. Thats it…

And like Katie,J said if they like Freddie considerating that Freddy’s orientation sexual life…its just hilarious like she said. Adam feel he always are a huge fan’s of Freddie and he will never want replace or mimic or tried to be Freddie…so its a little bit funny when you look all that.

On a bored evening recently I read through those Queenonline forum threads about Sonisphere. They were saying the place was busy because they had 70 or so posters logged in. The most negative posters were commenting again and again, magnifying their gripe. Many posters said that they weren’t planning to go anyway, regardless of the singer, and it seemed like the most negative posters were unhappy with almost everything Queen had done since Freddie passed decades ago. In spite of that in the newer posts, more members seemed to be coming to terms with the idea as other members argued the merits.

When we look at the fact that AO has about 500 fans online at any one moment, and is one of many many adam fan communities, (another one I frequent has about 250 members online each day, and 3,000-4,000 other viewers), it gives you a sense of how small that particular pool of Queen Online fans is compared to us, and the larger Queen fanbase as a whole. On another Adam site there are already more than 50 members who have bought Sonisphere tickets for example.

So basically I ended up feeling a little sorry for that particular forum, and the blustering and hair-pulling in the “purist” rock fan and Queen fan world makes very little difference because those Sonisphere tickets are very likely to sell out regardless of the complaining of a small portion of Queen fans who really weren’t planning to make the effort to go anyway.

I think there are plenty of Queen fans who are okay with, or enthusiastic about the idea. I’ve heard the Sonisphere forums are general positive on the idea, although I haven’t checked myself. For hardcore ‘Freddie or no one’ fans, I empathize, and think the antipathy really has little to do with Adam. A different singer would fall short for them in different ways, but would still fall short in their eyes.

Those poor Queen fans have no earthly idea what they are in for with the Sparkle Cows. This should be interesting to see as the Sparkle Cows go even nuttier and attack.

David Cook Tards: Fightin’ For A Space In The Front Row

September 12, 2011

Back in the stone ages when I was a mere 15 I used to be totally insanely mad about a band called Mott The Hoople. A very virile and masculine-looking bunch in high boots, glittery makeup and a lead singer that made Bob Dylan’s tunelessness seem like crystalline pure notes. I was so insane for them I hitchhiked up to big old bad NYC at 15 to see Mott and lure Peter Overend Watts into my hotel bed. Didn’t happen but he’s still a sexy devil even at his age. Lord Ove, hit me up sometime. I’d even let you fish for the carp in my 250 gallon rain water container. And other things.

But I digress remembering my ancient days of tarding even if Overend makes me want to tard hard again…

There used to be an old Mott the Hoople song I loved…

….and it included the lyric –

“Everybody hazy, shell-shocked and crazy
Screaming for the face at the window
Jeans for the genies, dresses for the dreamies
Fighting for a place in the Front row”

It’s that “Fighting for a place in the front row” that concerns me tonight. We’ve had a few Gavin Degraw fans visit here to recount their non-tardness but claim that they are always in the front row and will fight for that. This bodes ill because there are a number of Cook Tards that are expert front row obnoxicons. They’ve been known to step on feet, curse out, push, shove, elbow, sneer, insult, cry, yell and other tactical maneuvers trying to get near that young peen on the stage. How else do they get the fifty million crotch shots needed to squee over at DCO and the departed lair of Mary Ann Holly Sockpuppets DCU? Oh, won’t someone think of the droolers needing their millioneth happy snap of David Cook’s unpointing pants!

I’m not sure the Cook Tards are aware of it yet but tickets for the shows are already on sale at a special pay Gavin fan site, so it’s likely if it’s not a general admission show that the front rows will have already been snapped up. The Gavin fantards are getting them first, not Cook’s herd. Oh, the huge manatee!!

Has to be karma again considering how Ladynsearch, RoseC and others were busy whining to his brother, Andrew Cook, that Andrew wasn’t playing Cook songs. Andrew was in KC and was DJing over at KCRadio.com, where he used to DJ when he lived in the area. The Cooktards were busy twittering and tweeting him their outrage over his betrayal of the bro by his music selections. As usual lots of ugly bashing of Andrew but at least he will tell them when they’re all behaving like See You Next Tuesdays. He told them off. None of them picked up on the fact that he did play a song that Cook had written for another band.

Add in the disgusting fetishisticness about everything to do with Cook’s appearance singing the National Anthem at yesterday’s Chief’s game and their silly belief that they got RCAEd fired (he’s not, dumbasses) and you have enough bad behavior to make bad karma take notice of the bunch.

PS to Lord Ove – I’m kidding (No I’m not!)

A Cookie Recipe? Part 1

October 26, 2009

Dear David,

Today I thought I’d examine what exactly makes up a Cook Tard Frau. Thinking of the various attributes of your middle aged ‘fan’s’ I am reminded of the words of singer Ian Hunter in his outstanding, unflinching look at a touring band playing rock and roll around the USA, “Diary of a Rock n Roll Star’ You really should consider getting your hands on a copy, Baldy, and reading it cover to cover. I’m sure you’d chuckle over the stories of the grinding boredom of travel, trying to evade the attentions of the groupies and the weird things that happen.

What stood out to me in relation to the old ladies that troop around hopelessly after you are Ian’s thoughts on American ladies in that certain age group, “We find American women from 35-45 exceedingly loud-mouthed, stupid and coarse. No Englishman would stand for them.” Now if he had only added ‘dressed inappropriately, behaving in manners unbefitting their ages and without any sense of decent societal boundaries’ I would say he pegged your herd exactly.

They…

…abandon family, responsibility, children and work to chase you.

…dress either in clothing too young, too tight, too wrong in every way.

…violate most rules of a polite society in order to ‘get close’ to you.

…devolve into a mob mentality that could potentially turn dangerous.

…plunge their families in debt to follow you from pillar to post.

…intrude on your personal space when you’re not busy being that guy up on the stage or tv.

…ply band members with liquor and rumored sex in an attempt to get to you.

…make very inappropriate sexual remarks and innuendo online and at your concerts.

…and the list goes on, I’m sure I missed several million other distinctive characteristics…

I admit I don’t totally get the ‘why’ of what they’re doing but if I had to haphazard a guess I would say that at some point each has found her life to be very seriously lacking something. But instead of addressing the underlying issue, dealing with it and embarking on a course of self-improvement they focus on you. It’s not uncommon to reach the stage of middle age and ask “Is this all that there is?” but most people seek to change those things in their life they don’t like. Except for the frau. Instead they seem to emotionally separate from the things, people and places that make up the bulk of their lives to fixate on some guy that they saw on television.¬† Before you it was Clay and Constantine and after you it’s Adam Lambert and whoever the next possessor of a dick that wins American Idol.

I’d guess that what they have is a newer, unnamed in the DSM IV, mental disorder. I’ve been contemplating studying it as part of my coursework on mental counseling. I could write a hell of an interesting thesis on this subject I’d bet.

I find it fascinating that they all seem to come from middle class housewife America, no real ambitions or life accomplishments or education, living off the bread earned by some poor slob that doesn’t have a clue what the silly wifey-poo is doing. You don’t seem to find many younger ladies, educated people, those from upper or lower socioeconomic classes, guys or anyone with any alternative creative outlets following you. Your followers are strictly Oprah-watching, chain restaurant eating, Betty Crocker baking, going to the mall, wearing Wal Mart fashion types that Ian Hunter negatively referred to a number of times in his book. I guess the only upside is that they keep selling out your concerts and spending oodles of money buying your CD.

Tomorrow I shall deconstruct more of the ‘why’ and ‘how’ you can possibly break out from this mess. Oh, and the lists of excuses the fraus make to justify their bad behavior.