Posted tagged ‘Neil Tiemann alcoholism Krunk Jess’

David Cook Fantards Overreact Again

July 27, 2011

Does anyone in fandom actually remember when Cook asked his teeming masses to back the f*** off? Yes, it did happen and he got excoriated in the press over it. Happened late March 2009 after some tard attached a tracking device to his bus.

Here’s some of what he said from TV Guide

“The efforts by some fans to find our hotel rooms, call our hotel rooms, attach things to our bus, etc., is something I have to condemn,” Cook wrote. “This relationship only works when it remains healthy for both parties, and should this behavior continue, the only thing we can do is take more preventative measures to maintain our privacy, which in turn makes us less accessible to you.”

Cook said he and his band love spending time with fans, but that they “do enjoy what little privacy we can muster.” But, Cook doesn’t want to leave a bad taste in the mouth of the fans who voted him to stardom on Idol.

“I hope this doesn’t come off as harsh,” he writes. “I merely want to nip this in the bud so we can continue to have a great experience with all of you at the shows we have coming up.”

The article begs the question if the general public thought he was overreacting. The press thought he was but apparently none of them had experienced the scary pack that is Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets, WehoScott, Anodynejunkie, Krunkjess, Stacy Hankins, Ninasfeet and assorted other nuts. They were seriously misinformed. What Cook did and said was mild.

Too bad he never managed to get it under control because of the debacle taking place on Twitter between his insano tard pack and a guy who goes by Mouland316 on Twitter. I didn’t catch all what was going on because I’ve been busy doing some freelance work for a Defense Contractor (had to learn about weapons grade stuff..I don’t know weapons) and looking at a business I might buy into. Someone correct me if I’m wrong but the gist of the argument seems to be that Mouland dissed Cook’s music and/or career and the tards not only tore him a new asshole but also got him let go from his position doing promotion for another musician.

Klassy, gals and guy, klassy. I wish you’d direct this passion towards something that REALLY mattered, like the economy or ending world hunger instead of petty internet shiesse. Cook’s silence in this matter is apparently encouraging the nuts to think that he’s pleased by their activities. What are they? His internet mommies? So middle school.

David Cook – Adventures of Pizza Delivery Boy?

June 28, 2011

or Anatomy of the Tard Pack:

Last night Cook took an action that seemed sweet and nice on the face of it but after viewing the photos it’s pretty obvious it was an odious task. Probably something ordered by RCA management, another thankless task in a sea of crapola you must do to flog your new CD. He had to deliver pizzas to the whining tard masses lined up inside NYCs Union Square Best Buy. Same chicks that were complaining that the NYC popo prevented from lining up on the sidewalk that morning because they didn’t have a city permit to form a line. Heh.

Let’s examine this photos. David looks to me like a pizza delivery boy that just realized that he’s about to be stiffed for the tip on a big order.

Daina the Pizza Screamer Tard should have been creaming her whatevehs because he brought her and pals pizza.

He looks like this knowledge has cruelly sunk in. Someone on another board wrote this after viewing the pizza delivery photos…

The Five Stages of Living with a Frauen Fanbase:

1) Denial: “That will never happen to me. I’m not anything like Clay Aiken or Taylor Hicks. I sing CURRENT music and I’ll get lots of young, cool fans.”

2) Anger: “Why are all of these heifers in the front row AGAIN? I specifically geared this tour toward college students, but all I see is the same group of ugly trolls, night after night! And who are these idiots with light-up bunny ears?”

3) Bargaining: “Okay, let’s try something new. We’ll start passing out wristbands at the BACK of the line. If we can get some normal fans in the front row, my life won’t seem so pathetic.”

4) Depression: “I never should have auditioned for American Idol. I’ve ruined my credibility and my career. I’m no different than Clay and Taylor after all…these fraus are going to stalk me forever. I wish I was dead.”

5) Acceptance: “Okay, look. At least my tards are actually buying albums. They do provide me with enough money that I I don’t have to bartend anymore, so there’s that. And if I ever need to get laid in a pinch, I’ll just enlist the help of some alcohol and a paper bag.”

Then there’s stage 6, where Clay and a few other Idols are. Cook’s not quite there yet.

6) Milk your tards for every single penny you can wrest from them.

Last night the tards were tweeting photos of Cook and pals warming up and others they’d taken breathlessly pressed up against the glass like crazed paparazzi. Sad. Pathetic.

David Cook: This Loud Morning

June 27, 2011

So the tards have gleefully descended on New York, New York, land of Donald Trump, big buildings and street vendor knishes. The whole gang is there, DebraKay flew in from Washington state. Daina Pizza Screamer tard is there. Svagina, oooops, Svigani, Svigina, whatever her freaking name is happens to be there too. Tards have flown in from Finland and the Philippines and a handful of other places.

See some of the usual gang of offenders taken a mere five hours ago?

They started lining up on the sidewalk in front of Best Buy at 3:30 am for those wristbands that will be given away with the purchase of David Cook’s new CD to the first 200 folks buying it. Remember, this CD goes on sale at midnight tonight, soooo they were hunkering down for nearly 24 hours in advance to get these wrist bands.

So what does the wrist band buy you? A twirl around the dance floor with Cook? Having Cook as ‘slave for a day’? A special decoder ring? Nope to all of that. You get to have your CD signed by David et al and attend a ‘show’ there in the Best Buy.

Is that really worth lining up for that early? Most of these chickies have pushed themselves on Cook a zillion and one times already to the point where I hear on the last tour towards the end his security people had lists and pictures of who to not allow close.

But it hasn’t quite worked out the way that they wanted.

breadmom1 Rhoda Farber · Follow
@thedavidcook. Wake up Dave! Did yu see your fans slept outside BB last night and was told to leave this AM because of no permit! Yu know us

Ha! The fickle finger of fate has goosed the silly gooses right in the heinie. Apparently about an hour ago they were told to clear out because they didn’t have a permit from the city to form a line for the event! Delicious and perfect. Karma wins for a change.

Should be interesting to see what happens next.

David “UnBaldy” Cook’s Sophomoronic Debut Week

June 23, 2011

I guess I shouldn’t be calling Unbaldy’s new CD release ‘sophomoronic’ considering all I’ve heard is that first single. I hope for the sake of his musical career that it reinvents music, blows away the critics, earns him newer less crazy fans. But the way the fickle finger of fate seems to work it’s probably going to blow goats it will be so mediocre.

However Wehoscott is busy shouting everywhere that it’s going to be like the second coming gang banged sparkle unicorns rolled in ice cream, sprinkles and chocolate syrup. He claims the earth will move, uh, honey, if the earth moves while you’re listening to “This Loud Morning” you should probably check to make sure you didn’t fall out of your chair.

No Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets updates as she’s been super quiet, like a spider in hiding planning out her next move. I know where I hope it is to. I wonder if she’s going to participate in the tard madness that is Cook’s release week next week. Pennsylvania is a mere hop, skip and proverbial jump from NYC and the New Jersey Six Flags he’ll be appearing at later in the week.

Me? You could not PAY me to go anywhere near a Six Flags. They smell like ass and are crammed with the type of folks I try to avoid without adding the sweating like a mule madchens and fraus of his crazy fan base. The smell will be horrendous! Something like high noon in the slums & favelas of Rio.

The most fun part of watching the David Cook insane fan base squeal over this is the contretemps over the private show he’s giving at NYC’s Paramount Hotel in Times Square. If you’re a hotel guest you get to attend this show along with VIPs and contest winners. This is happening mid morning the day of the CD release so tards are scrambling to book rooms. But many of them are complaining that even as the hotel advertises its rates of starting at 200 bucks a night for this event the cheapest is from 375 upward. I don’t blame them, have to make hay while the sun is shining, I’d raise the prices too just to milk some of that frau lust. Capitalism is a bitch sometimes. Normal rates are $200. If you ring up hysterically demanding to be on the speshul bolt on floor, they slam you with ‘Jesus fucking christ not another horny old bag” fees

I am curious as to how the hard core wack pack is going to jostle from one event to the next quickly if they cannot stand in line for all of the events. Shortly after the Paramount show Unbaldy is due at the Best Buy in Union Square. To attend this event you have to be one of the first 200 to buy his CD when it goes on sale at 12:01 am on Tuesday morning. You’ll get the chance to have him sign your CD and attend a show. Tards are already talking about lining up on Monday morning to be first in line.

Chapter 8 The Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppet Chronicles

May 24, 2011

So Shannon was spotted with David Cook and got it full force from Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets. Not only was it her trying to make Shannon miserable, it was Mary Ann’s henchwomen, recruited from DCU.

Shannon – poor victim of Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets lust for Non-Baldy.

The dumb thing is that there was no direct evidence that Cook was that involves with Shannon beyond a hanging out with her and her being a model. We all know how obsessional Mary Ann/Holly is about models.

Amanda Maston, known on the board, actually stalked Shannon at Mary Ann/Holly’s behest. She not only bragged openly about it at DCU, she did things for Mary Ann/Holly to harass Shannon many times.

So what did she do?

Well, for starters after researching every little thing she could possibly find out Amanda started showing up on Shannon’s job, stalking her at her job, looking up a high school classmate of Shannon’s showing up at his job to harass him many times. Amanda also showed up at a publicity tour Shannon was hired to do.

The sick sad thing is that Amanda boasted loudly at DCU about her cretinous behavior like there was nothing wrong with what she did. Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets encouraged her and egged her on.

Amanda also said she was so gorgeous and hot, much more so than Shannon. Judge for yourself.

I have been told that Amanda no longer posts at DCU. She’s moved to LA to be an actress. Another blonde in a sea of blonds.

But Mary Ann’s harassment of Shannon didn’t stop there. Krunk Jess jumped into the middle of it, showing up at a gig with a plastic looking blonde wig and a brightly colored outfit like the one Shannon is wearing at the top of the page. Krunky Drunky and Neal Tiemann posed for the last photo..

And Becky is also guilty of stalking Shannon. David and Shannon were spotted together in NY at a casino and Becky went around to absolutely everyone, from the lowest casino employee to the security officers asking if David Cook was with a blonde lady. She bragged about this on DCU and is one of the nastier ones ripping into any women seen within 50 yards of him.

Becky is the one on the left, parents basement dweller and grocery store clerk.

Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets, harassing people in real life, using others to do it and behaving badly, all in a days work.

Thar’ She Blows!

September 14, 2010

September seems to be the month when stupid American Idol fan behavior winds down. School starts again and I suspect many out of control fraus return to making pb and j sandwiches for kids lunches as well as play taxi mom. Soccer practice starts and life begins another season anew. The AI tour is over. Real life intrudes for the fraus.

Usually there’s not much happening, but then again I have only watched laughing from the AI sidelines at the crazy. Always a voyeur, never a participant. Just call me the Emily Post of Tard Dos & Don’ts.

Ana kindly posted in the messages what long time tard Krunk Jess is up to. Turns out she’s no longer being bent over a sink or on her knees in front of a certain blond guitarist giving him, ah, lip service. Nor is she drooling over Baldy David Cook any longer either. Mamma’s got a brand new bag, a douchebag. In particular a douchebag named John Mayer. Another crap musician.

I guess you could call it an improvement that she’s moved on to someone that isn’t another American Idol loser with with a moribundesque career. But, John Mayer? Tabloid darling. Talks shit in public about ex girlfriends in a very just not done way. Takes his own publicity seriously. Behaves like his ego is the size of Newark. Seriously, calling Jessica Simpson ‘sexual crack’ is pretty far into douchebaggery territory.

That 14, she’s my favorite artist!

He’s begging for a serious karmic realignment and I don’t want to be within a 100 miles of him when it happens. And it just might have happened now.

Which makes me wonder if Krunk Jess is the reason Mayer deleted his Twitter this week. Krunkie is known for her Twitter-spamming of all and sundry she obsesses over. Apparently she met Mayer and has followed right behind him to art galleries and other places, even seen in photos at events. Some scary shit. But I don’t know which is actually scarier, Krunkie falling for a douchebag or her stalking him. 50/50

She’s looking very, um, er, expanded in the photos of her traipsing around the Big Apple after her new love. Krunk Jess is growing a few more chins.

Stand by. This might get a whole lot more interesting before it’s over.

ETA: Creamed crap on a cracker! There are a literal TON of photos of her stalking Mayer along with other celebs on her Flickr Account

Google Searches #15

January 30, 2010

Dear Baldy,

The big fun of Google keyword searches is the random and bizarre nature of them. Over ten years ago I used to have a blog where some freak kept booging in on the search term “Used sanitary napkin fetish” and it took me awhile to figure out the why. Example. This is close to what I wrote with the searched words highlighted.

I discovered I’d used up all my paper supplies before the big party, so I had to scramble around at the last second. The only party store in town always seemed so dowdy, dusty and not very sanitary that I was reluctant to purchase anything for so important a social gathering as this.  But I found a box of  nice paper napkin sets in the back of the china cabinet at home. And as the days passed leading up to the party I developed almost a cleanliness fetish in a futile attempt to keep our drawing room immaculate.

So any old super crazy term can be searched for in an oh so innocent posting. But my dark sense of humor always chortles and giggles over them. This weeks crop from this blog.

‘Tranny Mary Ann Ellis Holly” – of all the search terms I’ve seen on this blog this one makes me laugh the hardest! Mary Ann does look a little manly in some photos even if I cannot detect the presence of a shaved down Adams Apple.

‘Neal Tiemann krunk” – Neal seems to have slowed down on his boozy tweets but you never know. Look for him the liver transplant ward near you soon.

They are crazy bad bitches” – One mans crazy bitch is another mans love goddess. Unless they have crazy eyes.

“Man on the run David Cook” – Well Baldy, you’ve run on the Cancer fundraiser run. I witnessed you with my own two eyes running down the stairs at Urban Outfitters and I have a feeling you’ve had to run to escape your fans. Outrunning blubbery frau should be easy for you now.

“Porno Horse” – Enough with the bestiality!  Ugh! When I think of horses I want to think about “My Friend Flicka” or “Black Beauty” not “Nasty Hos Drilled By Horse Dick”

“Harpies Disease” – I think some folks call this ‘The Marriage Disease” and can run both ways, Nag-ee and Nag-er can be either sex. Unless is refers to the nekkid serenading chicks on the rocks in ‘The Iliad”

“Porny To” – No idea

“American Idol OCD” – Is that when you insist everyone shut the hell up around you, not breath, think or bother you when AI is on? Or that time when you grasp your cell phone like it’s your only lifeline and dial again and again voting for your choice, like some rat in a science experiment hitting the feeder bar for another crack rock until it passes out?

“Frau Madam Porn” – Hell to the NAW!! For the last time. Madam is gay. Madam is openly gay. Gay men do not boff old fat women regardless of the circumstances or the horny.

‘Teen Pusi wit black Cook Cock free porno” – Porn search for the super illiterate? If you’re that filled with spelling fail you should probably just give up on the internet.

“Neal Tiemann dating Kira Von Sutra” – Oh, I hope this one is true! Just the idea of a green haired gal with an interesting style dating Neal is bound to send Celinesp1 and THEKimberly off the deep end into Crazytown. The twitter war will be comic gold!

“David Cook fucks” – I hope Baldy is getting laid out there somewhere. Everyone needs lovin’, just not frau lovin’

“David Cook tattoo lies” – How do tattoos lie?