David Cook: War of the Weeds & Roses

Some of you here have asked to see the posting that Anodyne Junkie/Jeri made about the Weeds versus the Roses fans. I warn you, it’s a cluster fuck of rambling words. Thought it might be the time to post it considering she’s very anxious about anyone seeing what she looks like or IDing her at the concert or M&G. She’s changed internet handles a couple of times since posting this…

Originally posted December 2010.

Bad Weed^^^^… Cannabis Sativa… which is really REALLY good weed, and the weed I’d much rather be.
(Be forewarned, this is long, as in short story long and I KNOW I should have stayed away from the ability tumblr would give me to spout off my opinions. I have a big mouth and even bigger fingers and never, EVER write small *shakes head*)
Oh, for the love of %*&$^&# Dave…
It seems I should never go to sleep, because when I do, I miss out on all the excitement. Damn. This fandom just gets more and more interesting day by day… and that’s saying a lot because right from the beginning it has been jam-packed with such soap-worthy drama it’s no wonder that The Guiding Light and As The World Turns, those old chestnuts of over the top realism, have gone by the wayside. It’s more fun to sit on twitter and watch the ridiculousness that occurs every waking hour in the time-line of one David Roland Cook.
There should be an award. Seriously.
Not to say that I don’t take part from time to time. The ‘crazy’ can be quite enjoyable, and if I am bored it can be a great way to pass the day away. But really, in all honesty? Some of it is BEYOND crazy. It’s the ‘I’m gonna die if he has a girlfriend, if I don’t tell him I love him three times a day, or quote him lines from a literary genius and he doesn’t respond I’ll throw myself down on an upright knife and commit seppuku” insane. And all from supposedly grown women, most of whom are old enough to be his mother or GRANDMOTHER even?
I mean, come on now… if they were young girls and had older men tweeting them these kind of messages, wouldn’t they think it was kind of skeevy? I know I would.Then again… maybe they wouldn’t.
And people wonder why he stays quiet. It’s because his TL is full of that kind of drivel on a daily basis. He doesn’t read it folks, sorry to disappoint you. Would YOU? He passes over it and looks for posts that make him laugh or ones from hot chicks that, you know, he might want to mate with, or at least carry on a meaningful conversation with at some time in the future. But those tweets are so drowned out by the ‘I want to be an angel so I can hover over you and watch you while you sleep’ commentary that even THAT is impossible for him.
So now we have what boils down to a modern day ‘War of the Roses’ (and I’m not talking about the Kathleen Turner/ Michael Douglas movie, so for those of you not historically educated it was a war that was fought for over more than a century between the houses of the Plantagenets, who were otherwise known as the Yorks and the Lancasters. It was all about the control of the throne of England and it’s empire, the Yorks wearing the badge of the White Rose and the Lancasters adopting the Red) In other words a ‘to the death’ situation in which the winner of said ‘war’ receives the keys to the fandom, and rules over all the lowly serfs, from here forward known as non-fans.
Nowhere in history though, was there a mention of an outlaw band wearing a badge from the ‘House of Weed’. Shame, that.
If it wasn’t so god-damned funny I would cry.
And honestly? You don’t want to get into a tussle with us weeds, because you might just lose. We kind of have a reputation for putting a choke hold on anything that gets in our way and strangling the life out of it.
We, as a whole, have been accused of so many crimes against the fandom that it is actually quite ludicrous… line cutting, cornering the boys and chasing Dave into a van, attaching crap to his bus, bullying, wearing bunny ears (no wait, wrong faction, that may fall in YOUR ballpark) doing dirty things to get into line, been called ugly names, accused of taking donations away from charities and accused of using said philanthropic endeavors for face time, been threatened with physical harm and talked about so much behind our backs by members of this same group that are calling foul that I find it really absurd that they are taking offense, when we actually are getting a little bit of our own back.
Besides, what are you doing following our time-lines, anyway, since we don’t follow yours? Is it so you can eavesdrop on our info, or take pictures and use them for whatever and post them with ridiculous commentary underneath? Inquiring minds would like to know.
What I hear and read as of today, is that we are being called Weeds, pathetic, life-less, unhappy, pre-teen girls who are vicious, ignorant and selfish by this group yet again. It’s even being insinuated that Dave knows we are not his true fans, I guess because we didn’t like Fred, or his hair sometimes, or when he wears too short pants with boots (repeat offender) or some songs that he sings. What a crock of bullshit.
I guess you have to be a mindless clone to be a fan… and I’m so thankful that we are NOT.
I think the fact that Dave and the boys actually knows who the majority of us are, most by face and some by name irritates you all beyond all measure. That’s the reason you feel you have to post all this crap in his TL, to try and get his attention, you know, because you NEED it. Can you not sleep at night if you haven’t been in his face at least a dozen times that day( I know I’m being charitable with my count here, it’s my downfall)
I wonder is how many of faction X actually have met and hung with each other as frequently as we all have? How many have shared as much wine, boys, song and motels rooms? Would they actually like each other if they met and hung for more than one concert? Hmmm, or would they in turn drive each other crazy.
Now to address some of the commentary that was made last night and this morning, as I feel the need to express my views. Those of you that know me are probably rolling your eyes as you read, saying ‘OMG, here she goes, pontificating yet again.’ But you know, I am never one to let sleeping dogs lie, especially when my intelligence and fan-worthiness, and that of my friends, is called into question.
First off, @rascalete’s comments of early this morning, ie:
“You Know Who You Are.
I have unfollowed only a very few peeps since I have been on here
Don’t whine if I have unfollow you, It is pathetic when your day consist of making fun of what other fans tweet, You really need a life. I have unfollowed only a very few peeps since I have been on here. It seems like there is a certain group that is not very happy with their lives and think by making fun of others on a public forum they will be happier.
It’s probably not going to happen. Why not look at yourselves first before you make fun of others and just so you know, you are acting like a bunch of pre-teen girls. Sorry if I offend anyone. I am just tired of reading it on my timeline. Rascalete”
Well, I happen to have a great life thank you, and am grateful for it every day… it’s full of a wonderful family, the love of an amazing husband, the greatest friends ever, philanthropic activities, travel, handsome boys from different bands, good food, better drink and totally kick-ass-awesome music. It’s exciting, full of adventure and I never know what’s going to happen from day to day. I guess that means because I find the idea of tweeting a 27 yr old guy love notes daily, or lines from literary geniuses funny that I am pathetic. I’ve been involved in ‘rock’ for a long time, and have never seen anything like this before in my life… except for all the fainting and screaming ‘I LOVE YOU’S’ that happened during the Beatles first trip to the US. I thought it was crap then and is crap now and I am tired of reading it on my time line let alone having to wade through it the few times that I have read his. It kills my brain cells and I dose myself with Choline and vitamin D right afterwards to replenish them.
The @NYCArole quite nicely put it:
”@Daina_91880 Sorry honey„ I dont stalk anyone.. I am a loyal REAL DEAL FAN …. obviously something you know nothing of! Dont judge me!”
Do you even have any idea that the girl you are slandering above put together the Declaration Tour photo book that raised over $3000.00 for the cause that is dearest to this boys heart, The Race for Hope? SO, in all honesty, STFU, and you leave my girls fan worthiness out of this equation.
Besides, what you do with your twitters on a daily basis isn’t stalking? *scratches head and looks up meaning in Miriam Websters tome of the English language, you know the D-I-C-T-I-O-N-A-R-Y?* Try using one from time to time, it’s quite enlightening.

”@ladynsearch Yes they are vicious and ignorant.. Ive had about enuff of all of them! As I told u.. David can decipher his Roses and WEEDS!”
See my commentary above about who has been vicious in the past, and as far as roses and weeds? Well, a rose withers and dies, and most of them don’t even smell pretty anymore because they have been so overly cross pollinated to produce, but a weed? It gets you high and happy (oh wait, saints don’t smoke it, do they?) and helps glaucoma and chemo patients… hmmm. I know which one I would rather be. #lightsupANDinhalesdeeply
”@ladynsearch No one will ever judge me or my friends and our devotion to our Rock Star and the amazing person he is! Fuck them all!
Excuse me, but YOUR rock star? How did he become one of your possessions? Because you voted for him? I think Dave belongs to himself, quite frankly, it’s not a yours, mine or ours deal. You can’t own a person, the only thing you can own is a cd with his music on it. He’s not an object, he breathes, sweats and does fart on occasion.( I heard he even does number two and has SEX! OHMIGOD!!!!) Deal with the fact that the only person he will EVER belong to, in his life, will be the person he says ‘I do’, to. Get a grip on reality.
@ladynsearch I ignored them. til I couldn’t any longer! How dare them? I have no patience for vindictive loosers, who are hurting David! (LOL, spell check…)
@DRCRocksme Right they are the stalkers… let them butt the fuck out! They are turning a happy place into a SNAKEPIT! Not Fans~hate trolls”
Devotion does not = obsession, at least not in any math class I took. And hurting David? How is that possible, when between us we have fed him, housed him, clothed him, supported him, his band and his charities. We have promoted him, been at more shows than can be counted, cheered him on during some of the toughest moments of his life, gifted his music, gifted him with MANY things, a lot of which he wore( and were seen in his videos along with pictures and vids of many nights on the town or on the stage during his tour) plied him with drinks and chatted about things that were meaningful to him. We have made him laugh, given him gifts that have made him cry from the sheer emotion involved, (after giving him something from a group of in treatment-cycle children when he saw me again and found out I was the one who put it all together he told me he was honored to meet me, that’s right, dumb-ass non-fan me and hugged me so tight I thought my ribs would break) we have funded many charity events out of our own pockets, volunteered countless hours in his honor, helped organize donations to win auctions, started web pages supporting his friends… the list goes on and on. We wouldn’t follow him like we do if we didn’t think he and his band were pretty fucking amazing guys.
I guess all that doesn’t matter because we don’t spend our time manipulating images, rt’ing him one million times a day, making Saintly comments under his photos or spelling the word pants P-A-N-T-Z.
You dare to call us bad fans… tell us that we are hurting David.You have one hell of a nerve, and are hiding behind the safety net of the internet. Come on out and meet us face to face and say that. I will be more than happy to get a chance to tell you in person how I really feel.
And while we are at it, there is another thing that drives me insane… and I am standing here holding my palms out to be nailed to a cross with this remark…
I am tired of the way the term Rock Star is bandied about. Contrary to popular belief, David is NOT a rock star. Paul McCartney is a rock star, Mick Jagger is a Rock Star, Jon BonJovi, Bono, Johnny Depp (yep, movie stars can be rock stars, too) He has to EARN that moniker, through many years of blood, sweat, tears,rejection and MULTIPLE platinum records and number one singles. Quite honestly? I feel Dave is too nice a guy(at least now) to be a rock star and you know what they say about nice guys. I say that with all the affection and admiration I feel towards him, and I hope against hope that he proves the odds wrong.
I guess we are also bad fans because we don’t hound him 24-7 about when the new album will be done, the single released, the tour started. He’s not talking about it, folks. When he has any information he will be so excited he will be peeing himself with happiness and I am sure he will let us be the first to know the good news. Hounding him will not make him feel any better if he is having any difficulties with the record (2+2 still=4 in my math primer) If he’s all knowing, then we don’t have to bombard him with these questions and he will still know we care. When I talked to him alone and in person I didn’t even mention it, he brought it up to me. So if he wants to talk about it? He will do it without being nagged.
It mustn’t be enough to want him to take his time (even if it takes five years) to make the record he wants, to be patient enough to wait until he feels it’s ready to be heard, to have him be happy about what’s released so that maybe, JUST maybe he can put up that awards shelf that he could be so deserving of. Could be that most fans do have the attention span of a gnat…
Could he also have a personal life, god forbid, and actually he happy? Wow. Let’s let him sacrifice all that so he can tweet us everyday and let us know where he is, what he’s doing. And the constant need to bombard anyone that’s seen him with 2000 questions (the best one being ‘What does he smell like’) is something totally out of the Theater of the Absurd. And people wonder why he keeps to himself.
Maybe some peeps need to get in line behind the Scarecrow at the OZ brain factory. I heard they are handing them out for free.
I also take offense when certain fanatics say David doesn’t need the guys, that he won idol on his own. Yeah, sure, maybe he won the singing part… but you think he doesn’t need his best friends, that they mean NOTHING to him, and he can make music without them? If that’s the case, why did he want them there in the first place? *rollseyes* How stupid.
Before you criticize some of these girls and their observations, you should know that a few have worked in the industry. Some still do. Insiders points of view offer a really good perspective, and you should appreciate the fact that they share openly, in a public forum before you condemn them. How many of you have worked in the music biz before? Can we have a show of hands please?? And you should know that wack-a-doodle fans DO affect someones career, and the ability for the industry to take them seriously. Look at the dismal careers of a few other AI winners as a case in point.
I personally think certain fans need to get their estrogen doses in check. Do you not have husbands or boyfriends to lavish this attention on? A dog or a cat? Don’t any of you realize that David is a cheeky bastard, loves the snark that is thrown about and gets a huge kick out of good smart-ass commentary? When did he lose that part of his personality? Is it shoved in the safe with his boy parts? Last time I looked the boy still had a wicked sense of humor.
I apologize sincerely for the long-winded, self-delusional, over the top and selfishly boring commentary above. I also apologize if I have offended those who have read, as I am typically full of crap, don’t know my ass from a hole in the ground and am a bad, bad fan who consistently hurts the feelings of the good and true ones, and most of all hurts and offends our Princely Lord David, who I have not deified and put on a 5 mile high pedestal only to emasculate him, denying him of true and worthy love in the process. So I will take my troll like, terrible, old, fat, saggy, ugly and smelly self and jump into my freshly dug grave, only to die a thousand deaths at the hands of the ‘real deal’ fans.

*cries* Goodbye Dave… I have been ostracized from your kingdom, ridden out on a rail, tarred and feathered because I was deemed unworthy, and so were my friends. I liked you well, but not well enough it appears, to be a fan. I shall brand my forehead with a capitol BF (bad fan) and then self flagellation shall commence with my cat o nine tails firmly in hand until someone shoots me in the head and takes me out of my misery. And Jess, Daina, Keri or Chele? Please make sure ‘Where the Streets Have No Name’ (U2 ONLY version, please, incase Lee decides to mangle that one, too) is playing while I make my journey to hell, for I shall reside in its fiery flames alone until all my worthless bimbo friends come to join me. Thank You in advance <3, and I’ll be waiting for you:) At least I won’t be blowing rainbows out of my ass around the pedestal shoved up it and be spitting feathers out of my mouth surrounded by heavenly light.
(Did I cover all the bases, ladies?)
Oh, KARMA, she is a brutal bitch, just like we bad fans are. Be ready to meet her, for what does go around eventually comes right back to bite you in the good-fan ass.
Proud to be a weed since 12/01/2010. I am in such good company.
And I love all my friends(you KNOW who you are), more than you guys will ever know, adore the boys in the band more than anything, and if I lose followers? I’m not in this shit to win any popularity contests, so I rightly do not give a flying fuck. So there. Nanannypoopoo and all that jazz.
The END.
ps You can RT this, if you so choose, you know, spread around the joy

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