Posted tagged ‘Kerry Kolsch’

Law Soots

September 5, 2012

Today I received a very interesting comment for the site awaiting moderation, one from Ms. Kerry Kolsch. It was interesting and it made me laugh. See below.

I am advising you that you have published lies about me on the Internet that are actionable:

“Practicing Lawyer in Florida, but she never mentioned her mother and her were both involved in a real estate scam deal that resulted in her mother’s disbarment in 2004 and according to this filed legal paperwork Kerry notarized a Deed that was proven later to have a fraudulent signature on it. You can see the document if you scroll down to the bottom. it is ‘Exhibit D”

My mother never had a trial and nothing was ever “proven.” She had a medical condition that kept her from participating in her defense and when the Florida Bar would not give her a continuance, she walked out of a hearing. She was a pro bono attorney for twenty years helping the poor and the elderly. The only thing she was guilty of was poor record keeping because she used volunteer help. The Florida Bar never asked me about the notarized Deed nor did they question the witnesses on the Deed. If they did, we all would have conferred that it was authentic. The truth is that my record with the Florida Bar is 100% unblemished. Never have I had a complaint made against me. Never has the Florida Bar accused me of any wrong doing or questioned me about the so called “fraudulent Deed”. The Deed was in fact a legally and properly executed Deed. The transfer of that property has never been set aside. I suggest that you have a legal responsibility here. You can make fun of my Lambert writing all you want, but I will not tolerate you defaming me professionally as a writer or as an attorney.

“However, clearly once a website operator is notified by a victim of defamation or by the victim’s internet lawyer,
that defamatory material has been published on one of their websites,
they can no longer claim they did not know or that they did not have
reason to believe. They are now under an obligation to take reasonable
steps to remove the material.”
There is therefore a very powerful argument to conclude that every website operator that has received a written notification by a victim of defamation or their internet lawyer, automatically becomes liable for defamation unless the material is being removed immediately.

www.bainscohen.com/

Oh Kerry, I love that you used the bottom third of  someone elses writing without attribution. Those words aren’t your own, they came from this EZine article – http://ezinearticles.com/?Are-Website-Hosts-Responsible-For-Defamatory-Comments-Posted-On-Their-Websites?&id=5463073 written by the same lawyers in London that you posted a link to.

First of all, I stated it was my opinion that your writing was banal and trite, that’s just my opinion. But it’s an opinion that is echoed on just about every online blog/site/article I’ve seen involving your writing. Even you have to admit there are quite a few misspellings at the very least in many things you’ve written and posted. When did having an opinion become against the First Amendment of the United States of America.

Second, the information I listed about your mother losing her license and you being the notary on the transaction were all taken from court documents on file with the State of Florida. I didn’t make that up, it exists, and you cannot sue someone for stating something that can be proven by filed documents in a court of law. I didn’t rule that the signatory was forged, the courts of Florida did. It’s available online for anyone with a few seconds of time to Google. It’s freely available to anyone access the Florida Supreme Court document briefs – http://www.floridasupremecourt.org/clerk/briefs/2009/401-600/09-564_ROR_ada.pdf

Personally I don’t know if you’re a good or a crappy lawyer, it’s not like writing where you see with your own eyes and make your own review or judgement. Good you’ve not had a complaint because I know those that Google about you have never turned up paperwork or any hint that you’ve done anything wrong.

I suspect what has happened is you have tried frantically to get WordPress to remove what I’ve said and they’ve refused so now you think you’ll bully me into it. Not happening. Now I have been asked nicely to remove things and I have but since you’ve chosen to take a hostile approach well….

Good luck with that law soot and be sure to tell that internet lawyer how you took something one of them had written and tried to fob it off as your own writing.

Sorry, Adam Lambert still sucks and he is more of a flop with each passing day…

 

Chick Fil A & the Summer of Crazy Hate

August 17, 2012

All this limelight focused upon Chick Fil A and their anti gay marriage stance has reawakened a long slumbering breast, err, beast, Ms. Kerry Kolsch and her American Idol conspiracy theories. Even a few of the religious sites mentioned her belief that homophobia caused Chick Fil A and AT&T to ban together to block Adam Lambert from winning American Idol.

Ever since Dan Cathy mentioned in an interview his stance on homosexual marriage I’ve been expecting the lunatic ravings of Kerry to explode online after she recovered from her initial seizure. Pages and pages, virtual reams about the repression of any form of homosexuality by Chick Fil A and the second place finish of Adam Lambert. I keep imagining her twitching and foaming at the mouth on August 1st, Chick Fil A Appreciation Day surrounded by the beasts of her alleged ‘farm’.

Yeah, I know, a book and reams of crap online she’s written over some guy wearing makeup winning second place on a tv show. Really. Of all the problems in this world, like global warming, the economy, health care, the war on women’s rights, gay rights and she chooses to be incensed over a television show that happened back in 2009? Yes, she does, still to this day.

Unfortunately someone over at The Advocate neglected to do any research on this bizarre princess of television conspiracy theories. They gave her theories some discussion in a legitimate article on Chick Fil A’s tendency to repress homos in an article. The writer lazily decided not to research her lack of validity and the fact that she is one of those wonderful internet laughing stocks. Someone needs to submit her name and story to the Encyclopedia Dramatica site. She belongs right up there with Liz Bateman and others. She’s morphed into an internet wide trolldom.

Someone at The Advocate finally figured out they had quoted a wackadoo as a source and altered the piece to indicate her lack of credentials. She trotted out her mother, disbarred Florida lawyer Elaine McKillop, to fight with her detractors in the comments. Now Kolsch has taken her toys over to Melinda Green’s blog  Top Iol to fight the laughing hordes there too.

Her ponderously long ravings about Adam Lambert barely interest me. What I find very interesting is all of her claims freely posted all over the internet that seem impossible or contradictory.

Example? Early in the whole Idol season with Adam she posted this over on the LA Weekly back in 2009. It’s still up, you cannot fake a date timestamp like she is claiming. Here’s that posting..

There should be a carbon tax on Ann Power’s hot air. She must pride herself on using a paragraph to express something that can be said in a sentence. Ann is the biggest fan of her own ego way more then she is a fan of Adam Lambert. Adam sang beautifully and nailed a difficult song and her complaint is that Adam accomplished what people expected Adam to do, so Adam should have chosen a different song more to her liking. Her incoherence is only matched by her verbosity.

Posted by: Kerry Kolsch | May 13, 2009 at 10:40 AM

and another comment with very similar wording also listed as from Kerry but this time from Yahoo article – http:// voices.yahoo.com/adam-lamberts-not-so-true-hollywood-story-7251598.html?cat=2

Ann, I totally disagree with you. Adam owned the stage as he does every time he performs. There was not contest between him and the other guys last night or any night. My husband, who is a university professor, has an instruction that he gives his speech class every semester, it applies to you, “if you can’t be good, be brief”. There should be a carbon tax on your waste of hot air.

Posted by: Kerry Kolsch | May 13, 2009 at 04:43 AM

In other posts from that time frame she’s claimed that she lives with her professor-husband overseas in England, yet she now claims to be an out and proud lesbian who’s never been married to a professor or lived in the United Kingdom? Lying?

Here’s her list of accomplishments that sound ridiculously fishy when viewed as a list.

  • Attended Nova Southeastern University Shepard Broad Law Center, which, as you can see is a prestigious school tanked up there with some of the worst junior colleges and study to be a medical technician joints you see advertised during daytime tv. 8th best law school in the state of Florida. Claims to be a Juris Doctor and have studied communications at Florida International University. Wonder what her SAT scores looked like?
  • Practicing Lawyer in Florida, but she never mentioned her mother and her were both involved in a real estate scam deal that resulted in her mother’s disbarment  in 2004
  • and according to this filed legal paperwork Kerry notarized a Deed that was proven later to have a fraudulent signature on it. You can see the document if you scroll down to the bottom. it is ‘Exhibit D’
  • Had or has a gourmet food truck
  • Claims to be a private pilot
  • Claimed to have  a degree in television production
  • Claims to speak 11 different languages but refuses to tell which ones. Pig latin doesn’t count.
  • Claims to be a prosecutor in the past
  • Claims to be an award winning salt dough artist
  • Claims to practice mostly Entertainment Law
  • Claims to have attened UCLA
  • Is thought to have gone by a number of aliases such as Kerry Haddad
  • Claims next door neighbors were FBI agents
  • Claims to have a farm filled with animals and goats in Central Florida yet has the free time to spent online spinning her Adam theories.
  • Claims to be a chef
  • Claims to have raised poison frogs for a living

I know I’ve missed a bunch so hit me up in the comments folks so that I might add to the list. It’s late here and I’m going to bed.

Clay Aiken – Dude Looks Like A Lady & David Cook & Adam Lambert Fans

January 15, 2012

Last night someone pointed out to me that there is a new competition between David Cooktards and Adam Lambertards. Something called “American Idol Smackdown” on radio station 98.7 out of Tampa, Florida. They are asking fans to rate if Lambert’s new single or Cook’s is better. So far the comments are pretty tame but I have a feeling this has the potential to turn into Crazy Cakes Land soon enough. That’s when the Glamcows stop rushing all over the interwebs trying to rationalize and defend the Glittery One over his recent alcohol fueled slapfest.

Some wag that sounds almost like Kerry Kolsch suggested that the two people voting that they disliked both singles must be people that voted for Kris Allen and David Archuletta. Hey, at least Archuletta got a big honking Christmas special this year on PBS. Did Adam or David get a Christmas eggstravaganza anywhere on teevee? Oh hells naw.

Plus, Allen and Archuelette fans seem a tad more, I don’t know, sane and rational than Cooktards or GlitteryBovines.

The other amusing fan delusional behavior this week has been the angry angry Clay Aiken Grannies, the Claymates, trying to pretend that Claylene hasn’t had something new done to his face. Photos were released this week of Clay posing for his upcoming turn on “Celebrity Apprentice”

Judge for yourself….

Depends are twisting all over Granny Fannys as the Clay Fantards rush to say that he’s not had anything done at all beyond a TMJ jaw fix. Bullshit. He’s as stitched, pulled, stuffed as a cheap carnival stuffed animal prize. There’s more filler in that face than a bargain hotdog made of hooves and assholes.

One plastic surgery website had an interesting theory back in 2009 as to way Clay is dabbling in such heavy plastic surgery.

What genius in Clay Aiken’s entourage decided that plumper lips would make him look more masculine? Whomever they are, they should be fired. Clay looked more manly when he started out than he does now. The shag haircut, the glass, heavy layer of foundation, and plumped up lips make him look like someone testing the waters before they decide to get a sex change.

Damn, he’d make one very ugly woman. I hope this is not why he’s been indulging in facial enhancement.

What Other Fantards Do You Know?

June 9, 2011

I’m not going to talk about David Cook’s failed single, intra-fan wars over the single, Kerry Kolsch goes Green Acres or some of the restless silly in any of the other fandoms. I’m not even going to pick on Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppets today as I sense she’s busy trying to get that room mate for her townhouse advertised in the papers and changing the name of ‘David Cook Uncensored’ to the ‘David Cook News Board’.

Just a caution: If you answer an ad to rent a room in Yardley, Pennsylvania please make sure you Google your potential landlord’s name.

Instead I’d like to ask you what other crazy fandoms you laugh over and follow. Please share in the comments.

Are there any over-involved fandoms or folks out there that make you laugh besides the crazy American Idol ones? I know there are tons of crazier than the most horny Claymate fantards out there of many different things, everything from beauty pageants to plastic model horses besides the garden variety sort following actors/musicians/politicians. Share what crazy fan groups that bear examination, laughing and pointing.

I had my very own fantard spotting this morning – I had a tard-spotting today at Target but I didn’t know it until the silly gal was driving away.

I was minding my own business, standing in line to buy some random junk for the house when the whole damn register belt ‘Tha-WHUMP!’ Looked up and saw a 30sih-40ish woman with an ass the size of Cincinatti but with a regular fatty above the waist. Weird looking, like someone sawed a very fat chick in two and a regular fat gal in two and then reconnected the wrong bits. Oh she was rocking the sartorial splendor of a hot summer day in the Virginia Piedmont. She wore a the squished and dusty pair of black Crocs with faded to mid-gray old black stretch pants with a t-shirt resplendent with a photo of the two leads of the “Twilight” series with the motto “Twilight” above it.

Okay, so it’s not a crime to not know how to dress appropriately for age, body type and social situation. I ain’t no (to steal L Anne Carrington’s phrase) ‘stuck up skeleton whore’ ‘SWANKY’ (yeah, I’m fat) but what she wore didn’t do her any favors. But I didn’t think anything much of it, maybe it was the first thing she could find. No idea about trip to tardtown yet.

This big old redhead keep yapping at first about how ‘sorry’ she was that the store Hoverround cart she was riding rammed the checkout stand. She was told, no problem. And then it got weird.

Miss Hoverround started to speak, very sotto voice, muttering to herself like the crazed shopping cart lady in the park that tries to preach to the squirrels. She started softly enough before she proceeded to mutter just loud enough for us to hear about how some people didn’t realize they were taking up space in the handicapped line without being handicapped. WTF? It was the only line open and I had 3 items. She complained about the smallness of the aisles for the handicapped, how Target had no respect for the handicapped, blah, blah, blah and other bizarre mutterings. The cashier and I just kept staring at each other and rolling our eyes over Lil Miss Fatty Handicapped.

Let me state here I have no problem with fat people in general but I do when they need to walk and clearly refuse to do so because the store offers a Hoverround cart for the aged or infirm. At that point I had no idea if she was or wasn’t handicapped.

I get my shit and get, go over to the Starbucks inside our Target to get a Venti Latte, it’s hotter than hammered hell here. I get my iced coffee just in time to see Miss Handicapped get off the store rascal and oh so slowly waddle out the front door with her two bags of junk food. (Did I mention she had ice cream, ho-hos and fritos along with other high fat low nutrition things? Yes, I’m being super stupid judgemental..) We were going out to the parking lot at the same time, in the time it took her to walk out to her vehicle (near mine at least 30 spaces from the front door) I had my stuff in the car, the cart put up and I was sitting in my car, curious why she wasn’t parked in the Handicapped parking section right next to the store. She finally got in her mini van and pulled out just in time for me to read about twenty Harry Potter and Twilight bumper stickers on the back of the car, including a couple for fan fiction websites blaring proudly the links.

Oh how I wished I’d have been able to reach my cell phone camera I would have photographed this nutty Twitarder/Pottertard in all her glory. Suddenly I understand the five foot wide ass and lack of social skills. I wish I knew her username on Fan Fiction dot net and the other sites because I have a sneaking suspicion she probably writes scads of Harry Potter getting boffed by Edward the vampire porn. It would be laugh and point worthy.

So, what other crazy fantardships do you know of out there. Let me know in the comments.

Happy Easter

April 23, 2011

The Easter Bunny came during the week for me and provided me with many things to giggle over that were Idol-related.

Doings In Cooktard Land:

Got wind of a conspiracy theory afloat over at Mary Ann/Holly Sockpuppet’s lair, David Cook Uncensored. Apparently she and her sockpuppets believe that because Cook’s new single, “The Last Goodbuy,..errr, Goodbye” being released on Tuesday and that being the same day that Kimberly Caldwell’s CD was released it must mean that Kimmy and Hair Plugs are doing the nasty. Still. She’s even deluded enough to think that they actually had something to do with making the record companies release these on the same day because they are supposedly playing hide the salami.

Yeah, sure, right, like record companies and it’s execs are at the whim and mercy of former American Idol types instead of the truth, completely opposite. You’d think someone that has bragged a capacious buttload about working for Sony would understand how the music industry works. Nope, she’s just only focusing on who David Cook might be tooling.

But that is a conspiracy theory that might give Kerry Kolsch a run for her money. Hey Kerry, I heard that Kris Allen sweating up a storm in some southern city this past summer. I guess that means in your world that Kris is guilty of something.

This was followed by a visibly nervous David “Hairplugs” Cook performing his newest single on the Idol results show. He kinda blew, and not just because the song isn’t to my personal tastes. He was just off. But in Tardtown they are crowning him the King of all Music.

And then thousands googled their way here under the funniest search term yet in the hours after American Idol aired: “Did David Cook get a hair transplant?” I do not know for sure but my vote is yes. His head looks like he joined Hair Club For Men or perhaps a super expensive lacefront. But I’m betting on plugs. Look at the hairline.

Yes, America, he has done something. There are some that allege he’s had a recent nose job but I’m less sure on that. The tip is pointer and the nose is thinner and more refined but that could be dieting. Remember the chubbo he was when he auditioned for Idol?

Doings in Adam Lambert Fantardland:

I’m always amused by the Sparkle Cows but this week on Twitter was just too freaking funny. On Wednesday Adam tweeted about 420 and the tards immediately started speculating what the significance was. Well he wasn’t tweeting just because it was Adolph Hitler’s birthday even if he did once sport a swastika on his jacket. It took a long time before the Cows were informed of what Jason Castros fans already knew and probably celebrated that 420 was the day to get high, smoke a little weed. Weed Day.

Why do they like to pretend Lambert is some innocent boy confused about his sexuality enough that one of them might have a chance of sleeping with him? Lambert has stated in interviews that’s he’s been known to partake of drugs and alcohol.

Divine Punishment of Arkansas?

January 4, 2011

We all know that The Glittery One’s most unusual defender/conspiracy theorist Kerry Kolsch has no love for Arkansas due to her belief that there was a state-wide conspiracy to give local hero Kris Allen the win above all else. We’ve all heard Kerry rant, rave and wear her tin foil hat while screaming about Arkansas and Chic-Fil-La. But what does God have against Arkansas to open such a huge can of whoop-ass against the residents?

I was traveling back from Louisiana when I heard that first freak winter tornadoes had laid waste to swaths of the Arkanian countryside, killing folks and upwards of 50,000 poor chickens. This was quickly followed by blackbirds by the thousands falling dead from the sky and fish going belly up. No one knows why any of this is unfolding in a matter of hours in Kris Allen’s home state but it’s freaking me out. Now it’s starting to happen in my home state of Louisiana.

Did Kerry get a Voodoyenne to put a curse on all of Arkansas for conspiring with AT&T, Chic Fil La and a cast of others to make sure Adam Lambert didn’t win? I like to read various conspiracy theories for fun but I’ve always thought hers was a bit too out there. It’s just a tv contest, not the fate of the world hanging in the balance.

Yes, yes, Kerry, We’ll crown your Idol king if you just call off the Silence Of The Chickens curse. Purty please?

Thanksgiving Came Early?

November 22, 2010

I hardly know where to start this morning there’s been so much happening in the last day in crazy fan land. It’s like a fully cooked stuffed Butterball with all the sides and trimmings magically appeared on my dining room table!

First, there’s ugly ugly infighting over in Cooktard land over the ‘official’ photo of the MWK tweeted by Neal Tiemann’s girlfriend Kira Von Sutra. The tards have been attacking her and others because, get this, the photo didn’t include Baldy too. Another group of tards fought with the attacking tards and Kira tweeted her real friends to watch the freaks fight while they laughed. Reading the tweet feeds as this was going down was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

So now there is freakout in tard land over that MWK gig in late December because many have bought gig tickets, plane tickets and hotel rooms instead of figgy pudding or Red Ryder Air Rifles for their children. They are afraid now that David is going to be a ‘no show’ for that date. Life’s a bitch and airlines don’t exactly issue full refunds.

Yesterday was the anniversary of You-Know-Whos career serious suicide. Last night I watched Pink dance and sing all over a set that seemed very much like the one he stumbled and shrieked over last year at the AMAs. She’s pregnant and wearing high heels and still nailed it. I just wish she would have done ‘What Do You Want From Me’ instead of ‘Raise Your Glass’

Last night (at the same time) was E! Networks True Hollywood Story premiere of He Who May Not Be Mentioned story. The most revealing bit of a largely uninteresting hour was when he laughed over the Arkansas Conspiracy pushed by one Kerry Kolsch. A journo asked about the AT&T/Arkansas thing and he replied “I heard about the conspiracy theory and I just laughed.”

Apparently he’s under fire right now for smoking dope on stage in Amsterdam while doing the Jimi Hendrix song “Purple Haze” The song choice is questionable considering Jimi’s family is extremely anti-drug, but hey, he’s in Amsterdam, where it’s legal. Light up, err, lighten up.

The absolute hysterical thing about it is that the Herd Who May Not Be Mentioned are rushing around everywhere that’s criticizing He Who May Not Be Mentioned and going nuts in their usual way and spamming all the reasons why it was a-okay for him to do that. Always fun to watch them. Dopey yet predictable.

ETA: according to tweets by loonies and a tweet by Neal Tiemann it’s not MWK playing, it’s Andy Skib’s pet project To Have Heros (I think?) playing. The usual pack of idiots is busy licking Neal’s ass today and sucking up.

http://twitter.com/#!/nealfingtiemann